Dead or Alive: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Kasumiayane.jpg|thumb|right|All [[16-year-old girl]]s typically have a 36" bust size, apparently.]] | [[Image:Kasumiayane.jpg|thumb|right|All [[16-year-old girl]]s typically have a 36" bust size, apparently.]] | ||
[[Image:Pantyshot-dead-or-alive-ultimate.jpg|thumb|right|OMG FAPFAPFAP]] | |||
[[Image:Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball.gif|thumb|right|Dead or Alive is known for it's gorgeous graphics]] | |||
'''Dead or Alive''' is a fighting game series that understands [[typical]] video game players and thus focuses on a bunch of females who fight each other in martial arts battles only wearing | '''Dead or Alive''' is a fighting game series that understands [[typical]] video game players and thus focuses on a bunch of females who fight each other in martial arts battles only wearing thongs. Despite having a bunch of nubile whores bouncing around and making out, the games are terrible and testament to the idea that sex sells. | ||
== Characters == | == Characters == | ||
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* Tina Armstrong - Slutty wrestler that fucks her dad. Seriously. | * Tina Armstrong - Slutty wrestler that fucks her dad. Seriously. | ||
* Bass Armstrong - [[Hulk Hogan]] knockoff that fucks [[Nick Hogan|his daughter]]. | * Bass Armstrong - [[Hulk Hogan]] knockoff that fucks [[Nick Hogan|his daughter]]. | ||
* Leifang - | * Leifang - Catering to the foot fetish corwd and empowering [[girl gamer]]s everywhere by making her reliant on some other chink named Jann Lee. | ||
* Bayman - 1. take russian bad guy from call of duty 2. put him in this game 3. ???? 4. PROFIT!! | |||
*Jann Lee - Bruce Lee knockoff. | *Jann Lee - Bruce Lee knockoff. | ||
* Hitomi - The [[waifu]] of every non-ninjaboo DOA fan. At least she knows her place because her favorite hobbies are cooking and cleaning. | * Hitomi - The [[waifu]] of every non-ninjaboo DOA fan. At least she knows her place because her favorite hobbies are cooking and cleaning. | ||
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* Leon - Knockoff of Leon the Professional. | * Leon - Knockoff of Leon the Professional. | ||
* Lisa - Nigger chick that not even the most hormone-addled [[13-year-old boy]] would fap to because, you know, she's a nigress. | * Lisa - Nigger chick that not even the most hormone-addled [[13-year-old boy]] would fap to because, you know, she's a nigress. | ||
* Helena - Queen of the world or some shit. | |||
== [[Extreme|Xtreme]] Beach Volleyball == | == [[Extreme|Xtreme]] Beach Volleyball == | ||
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== Banned for Pedophilia == | == Banned for Pedophilia == | ||
The newest game, Dead or Alive Dimensions has been banned in the once-Viking, now socialist, countries of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark because you can see up Japanese schoolgirls' skirts. OH NOES!!1 [http://www.gamesradar.com/abc-news-uses-our-ridiculous-big-boobed-pterodactyl-joke-as-serious-doa-screenshot] | The newest game, Dead or Alive Dimensions has been banned in the once-Viking, now socialist pussy, countries of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark because you can see up Japanese schoolgirls' skirts. OH NOES!!1 [http://www.gamesradar.com/abc-news-uses-our-ridiculous-big-boobed-pterodactyl-joke-as-serious-doa-screenshot] | ||
==Sekrit Codes== | ==Sekrit Codes== | ||
Revision as of 11:13, 3 November 2012
Dead or Alive is a fighting game series that understands typical video game players and thus focuses on a bunch of females who fight each other in martial arts battles only wearing thongs. Despite having a bunch of nubile whores bouncing around and making out, the games are terrible and testament to the idea that sex sells.
Characters
- Kasumi - The most hottest vidya gaym character evar!1 according to GameFAQs and IGN.
- Ayane - 16-year-old girl second hottest vidya gaym character evar!1
- Hayate - One of only two male characters in the game that aren't shit-tier fighters. A magnet for yaoi fangirls that ship him with Ryu.
- Ryu Hayabusa - Yes, that Ryu Hayabusa from the Ninja Gaiden games.
- Tina Armstrong - Slutty wrestler that fucks her dad. Seriously.
- Bass Armstrong - Hulk Hogan knockoff that fucks his daughter.
- Leifang - Catering to the foot fetish corwd and empowering girl gamers everywhere by making her reliant on some other chink named Jann Lee.
- Bayman - 1. take russian bad guy from call of duty 2. put him in this game 3. ???? 4. PROFIT!!
- Jann Lee - Bruce Lee knockoff.
- Hitomi - The waifu of every non-ninjaboo DOA fan. At least she knows her place because her favorite hobbies are cooking and cleaning.
- Christie - Some super assassin who accomplishes her missions by dressing like a porn star and fucking men. Again; seriously.
- Zack - Token nigger of the series. He bankrupted Las Vegas, bought his own island, and invites all the girls there so he can film them sleeping.
- Leon - Knockoff of Leon the Professional.
- Lisa - Nigger chick that not even the most hormone-addled 13-year-old boy would fap to because, you know, she's a nigress.
- Helena - Queen of the world or some shit.
Xtreme Beach Volleyball
What do you get when you cross a shitty game about a boring sport with bad gameplay, crappy music, a hentai dating game, and 3D rendered boobs? One of the XBox's greatest hits. This steaming turd has gameplay so horrible that anybody except the sex-starved 13 year old boys who play this game would use the disc as a coaster. The Controls were actually designed as such that it could be played with one hand, allowing those who employed a bit of hormone-induced ingenuity to use their cock as a joy stick simultaneously. Unfortunately, the hand used to handle the controller is the right hand, as the game requires use of button mashing, meaning its demographic is once again made more exclusive by appealing mainly to the left handed... Unless you want to subject your dick to the chaos that is fapping with your left hand as a righty, but I do not suggest it
However, it is quite popular among males. All they do is chose a character and masturbate. However, the cum sometimes shorts out the television screen.
Its popularity was derivative of the fact that it has better graphics than real life and more boobs than Playboy. Also, it's the closest thing most of its players will get to boobs for a long, long time.
The advent of DoA hentai/doujin has made this game utterly obsolete; that is, unless, like some virgins, the actual sight of graphic hand-drawn cocks in hand-drawn vagoo action is more than enough to make one queasy. Also, like any form of hentai, there is nothing to keep you from accidentally stumbling upon futanari, tentacle raep and shitting dick nipples.
Banned for Pedophilia
The newest game, Dead or Alive Dimensions has been banned in the once-Viking, now socialist pussy, countries of Norway, Sweden, and Denmark because you can see up Japanese schoolgirls' skirts. OH NOES!!1 [1]
Sekrit Codes
Want to see all the softcore cut-scenes and bikini outfits without having to play the crappy game? Type these words into YouTube or Google:
Dead or Alive Xtreme
In minutes you'll be jerking off to either videos from the game or the hentai you found instead.
TL;DR
There. We saved you 60 bucks.