Mark Twain

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Mark Twain shown with his retarded clone

Mark Twains typical reaction to Heroin

All you need to know.

Mark Twain also known as Niggerator, Mark Twat and Samuel Cummens, is a racist genius who wrote about a boy traveling with a large, retarded black man, who most likely didn't molest children. Mark Twain looks a lot like Albert Einstein and once wrote in a book, he would cripple, chain him in his basement and cum on his face, or discuss the credibility of political candidates. There are rumors that He grew up in Canada, but that was disregarded by the Government and Fan Club as completely untrue.

Life

Even though Mark Twain's life only included fantasizing about little boys painting a fence in tight overalls with no shirt underneath, Mark Twain was born in the paradoxical town of Florida Missouri, where absolutely nothing happened except profuse amounts of buttsex among the thirteen year old boys. When he went to school once every two years (as is the standing tradition for Southerners) He would celebrate the annual "Black Light" A satanic ritual that include setting a Black Person on fire then having sex with the ashes. This has been practiced in the south for a long time and still happens often.

When Niggerator was old enough to produce sperm He became America's Original Douchebag by devloping the original Guido hair. In Twain's Adolescence he became attracted to a fat skank and had three fugly children. All of which were neglected like red headed step children. Little is known about Twain's younger years other than he was wrist deep in bisexual relations and alimony for all of his children. Im an interview from the Today Show Twain admit that most of his inspiration for his shit books are from heroin injections.