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Saint Hill: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 01:58, 20 August 2012
Well, Scientology already has a ship, a black ops division, a paramilitary wing and alien gadgets. A personal castle in the English countryside pretty much completes the set.
Saint Hill is a mock Norman castle built by L. Ron Hubbard in 1968 behind the main manor house, which he bought from the Mharaja of Jaipur who won it in a game of strip poker with Indiana Jones. Once a year it becomes Scientology Party Central, and its occupants get really quite irritated if, say, people turn up on their doorstep with megaphones and Rick Astley music right when they're trying to convince David Miscavige how much they have their shit together.
—Robert Kaufman |
The Party Where It Would Be A Very Bad Idea To Mention Cake
The International Association of Scientologists throws a big party every year. Some may recall giant neo-classic columns that hark to the Nuremburg Rally, three-story tall portraits of Hubbard, intergalactic freedom medals being awarded to Tom Cruise and lengthy, creepy speeches by David Miscavige.
Speaking of the evil midget he flew in personally for this year's big bash and fevered fund-raiser in the heart of the English countryside. It seemed the perfect setup to avoid controversy - anyone who wanted to come had to take trains, cabs, buses and in many cases WALK across hill and dale in order to get there. And, of course, Anonymouse being Anonymous there was no centralized planning in regard to the location.
No planning.
No organized transport.
On the top of a hill with no access routes.
—Paulette Cooper |
The Day Anonymous Took Back The Chanology
Over the course of the three days, 28 Anons showed up from everywhere from the south coast to the northern border. Everyone of of them was shitting bri/x/ and convinced they were going to be the only ones there.
They proceeded to dance, shout, rickroll and enturbulate for six hours.
On a groundspace of ten by one meters, thirteen anons got more enturbulation done than previously seen from a two-hundred strong demonstration in the heart of the city.
No planning.
No organized transport.
On the top of a hill with no access routes.
It happened. And it happened for one simple reason.
ANONYMOUS DELIVERS.
Camerafag runs from OTIII
(Two weeks later Anonymous Amsterdam beat the high score: the Dutch IAS event was spontaneously canceled by the hotel one day in advance when they heard there would be a UFO Cult Vs. The Internet battle outside their front doors. Scientology then shat itself and went home to cry. tl;dr HOTEL'S CLOSED DUE TO RAIDS)
Timetable Of Win
Friday 24th
- Seven Anons gather with LOUD trollcannon.
- Scilons attempt to drown them out with a three piece bagpipe band. Happy Anons dance to bagpipe music. (Video on Flickr here)
- One bullbaiter sent to engage protesters. Anon doesn't care and the OG are better at it than her. Not only fails but actually concedes that the asbestos problem on the Freewinds would be a good thing for people to know about.
Saturday 25th
- Police approach Anon looking pissed off and say "Your website said there would be cake."
- Scilons spy on Anons from the bushes. Anons chase them away with OTIII.
- One way system begins to fail hard due to abundance of foreign drivers. "YOU CAN'T EVEN CLEAR A CAR PARK" becomes a new meme.
- Police return, look at Anon's pictures of the concealed cameras, get REALLY pissed off and go off in search of Scilon camerawoman. Happy Anons dance moar.
- Crowd begins to trickle out of main event clutching bundles of freshly-bought materials. Thirteen Anons chant "YOU'VE BEEN HAD!" One man flinches so hard that he literally nearly falls over.
- Cars eventually start to get out. Five vessels of furious Scilons, male and female, give the finger through their car windows. In other news, the state of Clear gives you perfect control over your emotions.
Sunday 26th
- Four Anons arrive from the North East (having travelled over 9,000 miles and spent 6 hours in a small car) with signs calling Hubbard a convicted fraudster. Scis BAWWWWW to the police, saying that the conviction was quashed, and they can prove it. The police invite them to prove it. They fail it. To add insult to injury, Chief Constable had already confirmed Anons' story for himself after a brief look on TOW.
- The world's worst spy proves that an OT can make a hilarious hash of even a simple thing like hiding behind a tree easily wide enough to conceal a person.
- One group of Scilons spent 7 MINUTES trying to open a car boot so they could stow their luggage. Upon successfully opening said boot, a large cheer and round of applause from Anons (numbers now having swelled to 8) caused the Scilons to look mighty pissed off/embarrassed, also the on-duty policeman laughed. Scilons then moved their car down the road and "out of sight" as they attempted to close the boot.
- Saint Hill's private helicopter made an appearance and was dubbed Failwolf, to much amusement.
- Anons get in the car. Scilons set out in hot pursuit in the Clearmobile (a silver Subaru). Anons lose them at the first roundabout by going around it three times, Clearmobile could be seen in the distance, disappearing up the wrong road . Clever Anons head back to the North East, laughing.
—Gerald Tyber |
Epic Taxi Guy
Throughout the weekend Anonymous was chauffeured by a local taxi driver who has been repeatedly harassed by CoS with false reports of assault. He provided free transport and coffee. The police characterized him as "a shitstirrer". Anon thought he was a pretty cool guy, eh got b& from Saint Hill and didn't afraid of anything.
Number One: The Larch.
See Also
External Links
Featured article November 5, 2008 | ||
Preceded by Tracing |
Saint Hill | Succeeded by MystressOfDarkness13 |