Aleksandr Pistoletov

Pants optional for pirates.

Aleksandr Pistoletov aka "Alexander Pistols" aka "Swinging Pirate Dick Guy" is a Russian singer/pornstar? who mesmerized the internet today, by swinging his dick to shitty techno and corny pirate movies. Unfortunately, YouTube finally noticed that a video showing cock uploaded in March 2012 was probably against their Terms of Service and deleted it. But, there's a lot more where that came from.

Facts

Pistoletov, or Александр Пистолетов if you're one of those people, is a minor (twice deleted bio at Russian Wikipedia) techno "artist" who has a thing for dick-swinging on stage. Watching is considered not gay, since he brings naked girls on stage to dance with during these shows. The porn star side is less clear, as many of the "videos" are just Pistolotov dancing, and of course nakedly waving, in front of a video screen.

Cirno's Perfect Math Class ENGLISH SUB

Ahoy есть мат!

Bigger than Woodstock.

Original (deleted)

Almost a million views before deletion.

• Cropped

  Amazing what 1/8th inch can do to nudge something up to SFW status.

  • Translation

    	“	The continuation of adventures Of yacht battles Started after the storm, That’s how I met my frigate Let guests of the seas learn All sovereignty of the pirate He who owns the whole sea, Can be called a real pirate Roar of cannons, whizz of caseshots The battle has started with a sudden encounter Clank of metal, bullets, and sabres That’s how the deadly battle goes on Two frigates have met In the blue of the sea hell Our pirate ship Turned out to be your trouble Our pirate ship Turned out to be your trouble, your trouble. Chorus: Not a Somalian, And not a Caribbean, But I am a new Russian pirate. And not a Brazilian, And not an Indian, But I am a new Russian pirate. Yes, I am that new pirate. Suddenly a sea monster Appeared from the sea, Suddenly grabbed our ship A giant octopus He threw everyone overboard And cut our yacht. That’s how the frigate broke down And completely sank. But the crew survived, Got to a local island, Where it built a ship, More durable and powerful. And we left for the seas We found the octopus Shoot him down from our cannons. On the internet, like at the sea, We are rocked, we download. And insist on our rights (rock, download, and ‘insist on one’s rights’ contain the same word) On our undecked ships If you write something, Or if you invent something, Hold on in your hands, Your copyrights. Copyright suffocates Like tentacles of the octopus, Call a violator a pirate, Like at the sea. Pirates like citizens Have their own laws, No one will like Punishments as well. - Pastebin	„

    
    

    Other videos

    • MORTAL KOMBAT
    • live @ ALL FREAK STARS PRTY!
    • You Are My Destiny
    • Alexander Pistols (18 + + + + +)

    See also

    • Pirate
    • Nudist
    • In Soviet Russia

    External Links

    • YouTube channel
    • VK (Russian Facebook) profile
    • aleksandrpistoletov.ru

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    Featured article October 23 & October 24, 2012
    Preceded by Grace Saunders	Aleksandr Pistoletov	Succeeded by Incumbent