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Amazon Wish List: Difference between revisions
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*[http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2O27IRXK6942D She needs more pink eyeshadow.] | *[http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2O27IRXK6942D She needs more pink eyeshadow.] | ||
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Revision as of 22:50, 7 September 2013
You mean whores use it too?
Yes the Amazon Wish List is a way for shameless porn stars, camwhores and other cases of GOTIS-infected females to openly beg their attention-starved fan bases for material goods. Don't have enough shitty Chinese scented candles to cover the stink of desperation? Need a pair of new Crocs for your next bukkake shoot? No problem! Amazon wish list to the rescue.
Simple to follow instructions
Why it's so easy even a whore can use it. Tired of constantly having to pay for shit? Is that whole "working for money" thing too much of a pain in the ass? Well why not beg for shit then. With Amazon's Wishlist all your problems are solved. Simply create a list and then wait for the gifts to start rolling in. Fuck, someone should have told all those starving Africans about this program years ago, probably would have saved a few of them from starving to death. But whatever, more gifts for me.
So how's it all work? Well luckily for us Amazon has compiled a simple to follow formula for use when begging online. Though it does lack some vital steps so allow me to expand on it a bit...
- Step 1: Create an Amazon Wishlist
- Step 2: Suck some cock so that people will pay attention to your Amazon Wishlist
- Step 3: Find out from your doctor that you now have a wicked bad STD
- Step 4: Fall into a deep depression because your genitals are now look like blue waffles
- Step 5: Gradually become sicker and sicker
- Step 6: Find out that the STD was actually terminal and you now have AIDS-Cancer (It's like recesses pieces but deadly)
- Step 7: Someone accidentally clicks on your Amazon Wishlist five months after you died
- Step 8: They don't buy you anything because who buys dead people shit. God you're stupid
Increase Your Chance At Success
Great, so now that you know how to use this fantastic service you'll want to do a few things to bolster your chances of getting that awesome new 50 inch plasma tv you've been wanting. First up remember that no matter what you are a woman. I don't care if your dick drags on the ground when you're running laps at the gym people online only give free stuff to women. Believe me, it's the best chance you have of getting the shit you want. TL;DR you're going to need a huge pair of tits for this to work.
Next you'll want to create a blog where you can post a link to your wishlist. Don't forget that you're a chick now so make the background color pink or something and put in some widgets to blast out Linkin Park cause' I hear chicks still dig those fags. Once the blog is up and running you'll need to post at least two different entries: One which talks about how terrible your life is and the other where you talk about your love for sucking cock. You need to make the masses both pity and want to fuck you.
Finally, if nothing else seems to work, threaten to kill something fluffy. It's a well known fact that saying you're going to kill a kitten or puppy will totally make people pay out the ass to stop your psychopathic rage. Just make sure not to post any of your real information unless you're a fucking retard with a deathwish. On second thought, scratch that, post your real info so I can write another article later on about your lulzy death.
