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Bad Dragon: Difference between revisions
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[[At least 100|About a year ago]] Bad Dragon decided to make a dragon vagina toy called The Dragoness, which has since then become a best seller - a very surprising fact, considering that 99.9% of the furry fandom are [[faggots]] who need something stuck up their asshole every waking minute of the day. The only plausible explanation is that the 0.1% of furries who are straight, but cannot get a girl friend because they are furries, and had to buy this toy to ease their lonely heterosexual existence in the furry faggotdom. | [[At least 100|About a year ago]] Bad Dragon decided to make a dragon vagina toy called The Dragoness, which has since then become a best seller - a very surprising fact, considering that 99.9% of the furry fandom are [[faggots]] who need something stuck up their asshole every waking minute of the day. The only plausible explanation is that the 0.1% of furries who are straight, but cannot get a girl friend because they are furries, and had to buy this toy to ease their lonely heterosexual existence in the furry faggotdom. | ||
Phoenix Arizona, to this day, plagued with dildo obsession. | |||
[http://www.themorningstarr.co.uk/2013/03/26/mother-arrested-for-jamming-vibrator-up-her-babys-anus/?fb_ref=recommendations-bar#axzz2nh4yoGDT Phoenix, AZ mother, jamming vibrator in baby's anus] | |||
==The Creator, [[Faggot|Jan Mulders]]== | ==The Creator, [[Faggot|Jan Mulders]]== | ||
Revision as of 02:38, 17 December 2013
Introduced to Encyclopedia Dramatica on July 19, 2009, Bad Dragon is operated by the same kind of sick fucks who runs Zeta Toy. They sell grotesquely over-sized dildos that only fit into the overstretched and overused assholes of gay men. Why one would want a penis the size of a baseball bat inside him is beyond the comprehension of the mundane - but some argue that they are compensating for their micropenis. Bad Dragon dildos are mostly shaped after dragon penises, bringing a whole new meaning to "FUCK YOU I AM A DRAGON!". Bad Dragon is also working hard on giving birth to more furry abominations such as dildos shaped after dolphin, dog, and horse penises. On an average day, Bad Dragon sells at least 100 dragon penises to plug furry and otherkin assholes worldwide, to the point that Dragon dildos have even become a fad across 4chan boards including /v/ and /g/ due to the sheer amounts of faggotry in the said boards.
What Is This Faggotry?
Bad Dragon is a company that sells dildos of fantasy creatures and animals on their website located in a neglected tube of the internets. The animal and dragon-molesting faggot who founded this sick fuckery goes by the name of Jan Mulders, who was most likely molested as a child by his abusive father. Mr Mulders loves cocks and dildos of every shape and size imaginable, which is why Bad Dragon toys grow in size and perversion with every release with Mulders personally testing each product, and his asshole only gets wider each time, hence the next toy has to be even bigger than the last to fill that gaping hole of no return.
For the average user, Bad Dragon products cause an immense amount of literal butthurt; to counter this, Mr Mulders offers Bad Dragon-branded lube that was most likely made using his own cum, mixed with dog urine and horse saliva. This original formula works surprisingly well, and Bad Dragon-brand lube is highly rated by all the sick furfags who use it most likely as a food additive.
About a year ago Bad Dragon decided to make a dragon vagina toy called The Dragoness, which has since then become a best seller - a very surprising fact, considering that 99.9% of the furry fandom are faggots who need something stuck up their asshole every waking minute of the day. The only plausible explanation is that the 0.1% of furries who are straight, but cannot get a girl friend because they are furries, and had to buy this toy to ease their lonely heterosexual existence in the furry faggotdom.
Phoenix Arizona, to this day, plagued with dildo obsession. Phoenix, AZ mother, jamming vibrator in baby's anus
The Creator, Jan Mulders
—Varka, self described. | ||
Jan Mulders is a furfag and an otherkin - he, like everyone else on the Bad Dragon staff roll - believe he's a gender shifting herm dragon who can't show his true powers to the mundane, but is free to spread his gayness and STDs to the rest of the world, without any problem.
Jan Mulders likes cock, in every possible shape, size, color, and fragrance, hence why he created Bad Dragon in the first place. He is known for saying "I LOVE THIS! I CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE IT WORK!" to Bad Dragon forumers who come up with a new toy design, which are usually very shitty concepts accompanied by very shitty drawings, if any, then never making the toy happen, because his cock attention span is about 5 seconds, and furfags on Bad Dragon forums come up with new shitty designs every 5 seconds.
As of Nov,1 2012 Jan Mulders has achieved unprecedented levels of furfaggotry. In what is assumed to be intentional actions he has achieved what many would have thought impossible in shoving a football sized object up his ass. This is presumed to be an attempt to emulate the late Athus Nadorian who was killed while driving with a similar massive sized dildo in his rectum.
LINK to toypics.net video Varka using his new silicone bottle toy
September 3rd, the Board of Directors decided to fire Nemekh, Varka's long time mate and personal assistant who was caught moonlighting and being a general unbearable bitch more than normal. Nemekh is starting a Game company http://goodhumangames.com/ featuring utterly horrid, unwatchable, unfunny Youtube gameplay videos. [1]
The front of his townhome showing off his Audi A8 Narse hides out there to avoid former fans looking for commission refunds he skipped out on years ago so he can feed his Xbox addiction. 22909 N 19th Way Phoenix, AZ 85024-2467
Christmas 2012, Jan Mulders was on Holiday in Glasgow Scotland in drunken orgies with his parents as he demonstrated his life long work of precision crafted Animal dildos for his family, who resides on (no joke) Cumnoch Road of East Ayrshire.
e621.net, e926.net and rule34.paheal.net, dragonfrui.it, www.herpy.net
Jan Mulders is also the proud owner of e621.net (and the mirror e926.net), as well as co-owner of rule34.paheal.net. All of the above are repositories of Furry porn, and revenues for FREE Ad space for Bad-Dragon. Varka gets to pay himself and write it off as a business expense while roping in thousands of people. The IRS is totally ok with that.
As for the rest of us, Payments for AdSpace is to: [email protected]
However, Bad-Dragon.com's Paypal is: [email protected]
Submit an Abuse report to Paypal for these numerous, grievous violations to their TOS.
Other Entrepreneurial Ventures
Varka's ISP that he co-founded
ISP 199.30.53.22 Host: we.love.servers.at.ioflood.com
http://www.ioflood.com
Input Output Flood, LLC
, co-founded by Gabriel Ramuglia,(owner of Vtunnel.com & Ctunnel.com, Private web proxy services) Italian college dropout, who sold the information of Sarah Palin's e-mail Hacker to the feds Jews.
(702) 482-8064
3565 Las Vegas Blvd S Suite 292, Las Vegas, NV 89109
Varka and his CFO register several fictitious LLC names to help funnel money into side projects.
- VarkaEnterprises LLC
- Feral Industries LLC(Failed)
- Dragon Fruit Ventures LLC(hosting e621's Ad Sales)
- Card Dragon LLC(new as of September 2013)
Medical Factoid
Like 7% of Scottish males, Varka is in fact, Color Blind. Specifically, "Green weak" seeing everything as shades of Brown.
Other Furfags
Because of the huge number of furfags buying his toys, he has hired a ragtag team of employees going by the aliases of Athus who died whilst driving with a Dragon dildo shoved up his ass, Narse, Raith, Kamo, and SemJay. They allegedly have a secret base of faggotry in Phoenix, Arizona to help him make their butthurt inducing toys. On their forums, they have also hired a cellulite dripping, baby-dick wielding mod known as "Runa" (AKA Gordon Bryant) to act as a lame excuse for customer service and stop the furfags making too much drama on the forums, but was fired for being an asshat to all the customers and for being too gay, even by furry standards. Examples of these neglected attention whores that stir shit and try to be internet tough guys go by the aliases Dimi, Tigris, SSWildcat and MasterKovax.
MasterKovax, the biggest shit stirrer, even had the pleasure of making Runa admit he was an internet bitch:
—Runa | ||
And when everyone agreed with Kovax, of course Runa was the only one left with severe butthurt.
On August 3, 2010, an announcement was made stating that Runa has been fired from his position within Bad Dragon. This resulted in much butthurt from Runa's faggot butt buddies, and lulz for everyone else who knew all along that he was an attention and drama whore who can't keep a civil mouth for more than two minutes. In the Bad-Dragon forum's "post RL pics of yourself" over 1/3 of all posts were Runa's. Currently, Runa (Gordon Bryant) still makes a living in his dream career of typing reviews about games no one gives a shit about, and no one can reply to. thereby declaring uncontested victory of his opinions.
On October 11, 2011 Athus was killed in a car crash while on his way home from work, while playing with Bad Dragon dildos. Surprisingly enough, this sparked sorrow from both his friends and people who never actually knew him. His final FurAffinity journal listed an animation that he likely jacked off to, that became a sort of symbol of his passing, this can be found here, but be wary of massive levels of faggotry.
—Athus' memorial page. Srsly. | ||
StreakTheTiger AKA Brandon Troupe
Balls-Anus piercings
http://a.yfrog.com/img860/7945/isdza.jpg 2002 Dodge Neon, He loves to Drink and Drive. Streak's Youtube page Youtube channel showing drive from home to "work", confirming the Above address of their production facility. http://i.imgur.com/ExWQT.jpg shown more clearly here.
http://i.imgur.com/MKS4z.jpg (Address) 214 East Briles Rd. Phoenix, AZ, 85085 Streak is in charge of "Quality Control" making sure the scissors are sharp and pencils are well shaved. Each toy has at least one of his ass hairs embedded. Lucky raffle for anyone who finds it.
Sarmaniken AKA David Grant
Head of Marketing and Sales.
Paintball Enthusiast, originally from Hyannis MA, Compulsive fapper to Jew Philosophy and Money scheme tactics from the mastermind strategist Eliyahu Goldratt(fitting name).
David's FagAffinity page
Raith DarkWing AKA Joseph Hrapek
Chief of Research & Development.
From Valparaiso Indiana, Originating Founder alongside Varka and Narse. Just like Varka, he identifies as a "gender shifting" Herm black dragon. He is a raging Vorephile, loves getting eaten and passed through wholesome dragon guts; Prey 99% and Predator 1% of the time. Spare time hobbies include, Spores, unbirth, and animal vagina design. One of the more cautious and elusive masterminds behind their overall douchebaggery and financial acrobatics. Helps to be friends with an Auditor. See section on Romania on his proud heritage.
Nemekh AKA: Jean-Pierre Mellor
Varka's former assistant and Marketing Manager.(Don't worry, They're STILL together in an open relationship. so you still got a chance to tap dat prolapsed monkeybutt) Studied at University of Abertay Dundee, first University of offer a degree in, "Ethical Hacking". We got a Badass over here!
Nemekh's Facebook, he inherited his chinless droopy eyed features from his Mother, Marie-Claire Mellor Gaping Anus, noodle dick, bushy pubes, unwatchable boring cinematography. . He is currently living back home, sponging off of with his wealthy father, Martin Mellor. Go ask him for money. They're loaded!
Semjay AKA" Samantha Nicole Sopoci,
Customer Care retention specialist.
Transgendered, Liberal, Dog Abuser enthusiast. Suffers from Bi-Polar and frequent unexpected lady boners.
contact: [email protected], [email protected] AIM: PibbleHuskle, Skype: SemJay
In recent times, Samantha has been fired, focusing more on fingering dog butts, and her www.furducers.com of Autistic looking felt plush abominations with SPHs. Procedes do NOT go to Autism research.
Semjay's unwatchable Youtube channel.
KnightWolf AKA: Jason Adams AKA: Hoe Wolf AKA: Pup
The over the hill shipping director of Bad Dragon.
He likes to seem innocent but uses his position as a free ride to cons in order to fuck anything that moves. It is Knot Wolf's goal in life to get his anus to stretch to Goatse proportions and to catch every STD known to man. He's the proud owner of two fucksuits, fursuits, he doesn't want anyone to know as it would tarnish his clean image.
Despite that, Knightwolf is also the Network Admin of http://www.furriesxtreme.org The Facebook of Furverts.
Kamo Twopaws Wolf COO AKA 'Duke' AKA: Eric Silveiro a furfag that hates his real name so much he had it legally changed to his fursona name.
Chief Operating Officer of Bad Dragon,
known well for his amazing customer relations skills. He's also the proud owner of fucksuits, fursuits and uses his position to book suites at cons to fuck anything that moves. Just make sure you don't find this sick fuck in bed with your dog.
Kamo's FA Page, must register to see.
Bastian Tiger CFO AKA: Ryan Matthew McCord
Advocate for incest relationships. Drives a Gray Ford Mustang. He's the 40+ guy who does all the "paper" work.
His FA Page
Employment Opportunities!
Are you enthusiastic about creating dildos inspired by and based on animals? Do you not mind having extremely awkward "So, what do you do?" conversations with family and just random people? Bad Dragon is looking for qualified candidates to assist in the production of their lovingly-rendered animal and dragon dildos. Just take a look at their Jobs page, that's so full of corporate buzzwords and business talk, you'd think they're an actual business, which we all know is completely bullshit.
—WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR FAGGOT?, SEND IN YOUR RESUME TODAY!!! | ||
The Toys Themselves
Bad Dragon makes several crimes against nature using their patented nearly indestructible silicone, including tentacles, dragon cocks that shoot fake semen which makes the furfags retarded enough to eat it and vomit up rainbows and grotesquely huge toys that even Goatse would struggle to take. The furfags who pay for these overpriced toys will void their 5 year warranty if they happen to place the toy in their mouth, vagina, anus, or take it out of the box it was shipped in. It must therefore be concluded that Bad Dragon products are for display purposes only. Negative reviews and requests for refunds will result in your being b&.
—Runa backing up their 5 year warranty | ||
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Bad Dragon proudly presents: The Freeman! -
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Horse vagoo, available in such colors as Rare White, Dashing Blue and Butterfly Yellow. -
"Feels just like what you'd expect a virgin to feel like" -
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Cast from a Ziploc bag full of turds. -
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The "Sharing Experiences" Forum
DO NOT WANT. If you clicked that, you are probably a fucking furfag.
To make a long story short, this is where the sickest fucks on the internets come to share their "intimate experiences" with their smelly, shit-stained sex toys. To make matters worse, many of these faggots post explicit photos and even videos of them fucking their toys. Most of them weigh 400 lb, are naked in these photos and are showing you their assholes.
Why do these faggots do this? Aside from trying to feel less lonely in their pathetic furry lives, and sex toys are the closest they are ever going get to having real sex. Yes, you guessed it. It is because when they post a review, they get a $5 discount coupon for their next purchase from Bad Dragon.
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Secret Base
Bad Dragon is notoriously secretive about giving out its location, most likely due to constant fear of people wanting to hunt them down and shove dragon dildos in all their orifices as payback, and to make the nightmares end. Orders are shipped with a return address of a box at a UPS store, and business records point to the UPS store or to homes of the founders. Unfortunately, a single picture of a window at their "factory" was enough for the Internet Hate Machine to locate the source of the faggotry and the building in which they are situated.
If you're ever in the Central Phoenix area, why don't you stop by 9849 N 19th Drive, #3 and ask if they offer test drives rickroll them or something. Or just try the things for yourself, faggot.
Varka and Ryan McCord register several fictitious business names that also attempt to use that UPS store as its address. Makes it harder to track money flow.
What Bad Dragon Wants you to Think About
Artwork is done by Narse, AKA Gary Boyer. Boyfriend of the late Athus.
Drop him a line on Skype and share your feelings condolences.
"narsemorca" or "narse.marmo"
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Because furries go wild for pregnant dragonesses, or something. -
Gryphons are all fags,just like this oneespecially Runa. -
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Looks like an Alien got zerg rushed -
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Notice the jar of turds -
A dog is fine too. -
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In your dreams Mulders ... wait ... -
Applejack?! -
Because most furs are totally not Gay. -
![[1]](http://i.imgur.com/XAxEd.jpg){kind=link}
varkas ip address 81.187.162.142 runas ip address 70.48.162.244 semjays ip address 72.208.70.66
See Also
- Zeta Toy
- Zetaforum
- Furry
- Tentacle rape
- Faggot
- Dildo
- Giant dildo of death
- Mecha-Dildo
- Horsecock
- Sick Fuck
External Links
- Bad Dragon's website.
- Bad Dragon's Forums Hint, do NOT look in the 'sharing experiences' section. Really, don't!
- Something Awful thread about this topic. Hilarity results.
- Co-owner didn't know how to drive. Notice how his memorial doesn't mention his day job.
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Bad Dragon is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Bad Dragon is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |