Richard Stallman

Yep. He is the reason for the teasin'

Everyone in the room promptly passed out from the fumes emanating through the audience

When not pioneering the free software movement, RMS spends his time in the studio creating avant-garde electronic works.

Richard Marx Stallman is a hacker often referred to by his initials of "RMS". RMS is moderately famous for the establishment of the Free Software Foundation, and GNU (GNU's Not Usable) Software. His various projects (based out of the MIT Media Lab) have essentially changed the software industry, and, along with Linus Torvalds (the original developer of the rampantly popular Linux knock off of UNIX and, as select others would argue, Minix), has suddenly gained a following. Of course, before Linus released Linux, his fame was close to null.

Now, RMS seems to spend his time avoiding soap and bitching that Linux should be called "GNU/Linux" since it "uses GNU software, and Linux is just the kernel." If RMS had actually spent more time working on projects like HURD instead of writing the GNU Software Manifesto he may have a right to bitch. Too bad HURD sounds so close to TURD.

Since GNU/Hurd never worked properly, it has been superseded by the GNAA/Hard as explained in this press release [3].

In 2008, Stallman decided to take a break from raping 13-year-old boys and try to find his "sweetie" on craigslist [4].

	“	I'd like to meet a woman with varied interests, curious about the world, comfortable expressing her likes and dislikes (I hate struggling to guess), delighting in her ability to fascinate a man and in being loved tenderly, who values joy, truth, beauty and justice more than "success"--so we can share bouts of intense, passionately kind awareness of each other, alternating with tolerant warmth while we're absorbed in other aspects of life.	„
	—RMS describes his ideal woman. Could it be you?

	“	I am skeptical of the claim that voluntarily pedophilia harms children. The arguments that it causes harm seem to be based on cases which aren't voluntary, which are then stretched by parents who are horrified by the idea that their little baby is maturing.	„
	—Richard Stallman, on pedophilia

	“	Richard Stallman is just my mundane name. You can call me RMS.	„
	—Richard Stallman introducing his fursona

	“	I'm not glad he's dead, but I'm glad he's gone.	„
	— RMS on the death of Steve Jobs

	“	It doesn't take special talents to reproduce--even plants can do it. On the other hand, contributing to a program like Emacs takes real skill. That is really something to be proud of. It helps more people, too.	„
	—Richard Stallman, congratulating Stefan Monnier for his new baby girl

	“	For necrophilia, it might be necessary to ask the next of kin for permission if the decedent's will did not authorize it. Necrophilia would be my second choice for what should be done with my corpse, the first being scientific or medical use. Once my dead body is no longer of any use to me, it may as well be of some use to someone. Besides, I often enjoy rhinophytonecrophilia (nasal sex with dead plants).	„
	—Richard Stallman, on fucking rotten noses filled with dead plants and on having buttsex with other necrophiles [5]

Some RMS Lore

After getting his first degree at Harvard, RMS enrolled at MIT for his graduate work, but then he stopped studying and sort of hung around the place using their computers. He had an office on the 7th floor of LCS until he resigned in protest because all the other programmers in his lab were getting private-sector jobs and lives. But MIT let him keep his office, and he lives there because he refuses to have an apartment.

"I'm a goat-fucker!" - RMS in 1994

Stallman showing his GNU pride

	“	The "War on Terror" was an excuse to do what Bush (and Obama too) wanted to do, while the War on Fat would be "bad for business."	„
	—Richard Stallman, defying Obama [1]

	“	Sugar and fat in food have brain effects similar to addictive drugs.	„
	—Stallman, on being fat [2]

Anyway, RMS has or had a number of geek chick groupies. None of them could be called "hot", really -- well except for this one little psycho Jewish undergrad from NYC and (much to Spider-Man's annoyance) Kirsten Dunst, an MIT undergraduate at the time. He would sleep with them on the sofa in his office. That's why he got kicked out of floor 7, and down to the 3rd floor: that the cleaning staff complained about pulling used condoms out from behind the sofas. You can use this information for trolling if you wish, but it's all true.

RMS has a phobia of water that prevents him from showering. RMS has been observed taking a sponge bath in the 3rd floor men's room in LCS. Apparently once he had a girlfriend who he was totally in love with, and she convinced him to take one shower a week. It was a traumatic experience for him each time.

RMS also has a phobia of spider plants. When RMS starts bothering a grad student and going to his office and talking to him constantly and getting him to spend all his time writing free software, the grad student will complain to someone on the floor and they'll let them in on the secret: get a spider plant in your office. The next time RMS drops by, his eyes will bulge a little, and he'll say "Umm. . . I wanted to talk to you about hacking some elisp code . . . why don't you stop by my office sometime?" and make a hasty exit.

One of his more nasty habits is picking huge flakes of dandruff out of his hair while talking to other people. At least he doesn't eat them, like some people.

Now, everyone loves to make fun of RMS, but he really is a genius, on the order of Diogenes (another filthy slob who couldn't keep a normal living arrangement, so lived in a barrel) or Ghandi or Ezekiel. Everything he has ever said, while sounding naive, paranoid, idealistic and stupid at the time, turned out later to be correct.

The only thing to fear in his philosophy is his interest in reducing population growth. Everyone else who has been obsessed with that "problem" turned out to have fascist or totalitarian tendencies. On everything else, bitter experience has proved that he is right. It is generally wise not to use any non-GPLd or lGPLd software (with the exception of when you must actually get work done such as watching videos of cats falling off beds or playing ghey games), and we can look forward to being able to buy only "open" hardware. Software patents could be completely eliminated, and with the development of digital communication, there is no reason why Congress shouldn't simply repeal all of Title 17 and do away with all copyrights. They just aren't needed. Same goes for all the other laws.

The wannabe lawyer also hates Creative Commons, because they allow flexible licenses rather than forcing everyone to use copyleft licenses. Even though most normal Creative Commons licenses allow non-commercial trade of licensed works, he criticizes them for supporting other licenses that do not. In other words, he only believes in supporting organizations that promote his choice, rather than supporting organizations that leave all choices open. JUST LIKE A NAZI.

	“	In the long run, making programs free is a step toward the post-scarcity world, where nobody will have to work very hard just to make a living. People will be free to devote themselves to activities that are fun, such as programming, after spending the necessary ten hours a week on required tasks such as legislation, family counseling, robot repair and asteroid prospecting. There will be no need to be able to make a living from programming.	„
	—Stallman's manifesto. srsly.

GPL v3

By 2006 Stallman was fed up with all the attention being given to Linux and Eric Raymond. In an attempt to grab the spotlight he released the third edition of the GNU General Public LicenseVirus. The new version says that anyone can use GNU software however they want, unless it involves

• copyright enforcement
• drug prohibition
• interfering with Net Neutrality
• end-users
• Republicans
• personal hygiene
• profit!

Other than that, GNU software will remain completely unrestricted. Any normal dude or dudette would just throw his sources somewhere on the net, without any license, as we all know GPLed software is being majorly ripped off and sold anyway, in which case h4x0rZ don't go to court anywayz. h4x0rZ don't like authorities and solve things their own way.

The Free Software Song

YES

RMS wrote and recorded an anthem to be the battle cry of the Free Software Foundation.

• Why Cooperation With RMS Is Impossible

Original recording of the song by RMS

The Free Software Song
[To the melody of "Sadi Moma"]
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
(repeat)

Hoarders can get piles of money,
That is true, hackers, that is true.
But they cannot help their neighbors;
That's not good, hackers, that's not good.

When we have enough free software
At our call, hackers, at our call,
We'll kick out those dirty licenses
Ever more, hackers, ever more.

Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
(repeat)

Melody of Sadi Moma, a Bulgarian dance tune.
(Dash means previous note continues;
there are seven beats per measure.)

D-CB-A- B-CBAG- G--A--B C--B-BD A--A--- CDCB---
D-CB-A- B-CBAG- G--A--B C--B-BD A--A--- A------

Copyright 1993 Richard Stallman Verbatim redistribution permitted if this notice is preserved.

Fame Amongst Illegal Immigrants

Mexicans had never heard of Richard or GNU before he visited them all on the Mexican border to America. He sang his song and it was an immediate success. This beautiful moment was captured on tape an released freely for everyone to enjoy.

"Join us hackers and you'll be free"; here, this twit demonstrates the difference between retarded no-life GNU "hackers" vs the original "h4x0rZ". No wonder Linux hasn't gone mainstream.

Yum! Toe Cheese

Immediately after admitting to some embarrassing ignorance while answering a question pertaining to the scope of patent laws (a topic about which he's very concerned but apparently doesn't know much), RMS discovered a new form of nourishment that everyone (except amputees, LOL) can enjoy.

As explained in the video comments, RMS was merely providing a powerful illustration of the tyranny of social and hygenic norms. Go ahead, pick and eat the skin from your feet. Dinner is served!

Copypasta

/g/ has trolled a computer talk show with the Stallman copypasta, in commemoration of Richard Stallman's obsession with calling Linux GNU/Linux.

Stallman copypasta in action

Son, I am disappoint

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX. Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called "Linux", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called "Linux" distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

Fukken win:

Stallman goes full retard

See also

• Theo de Raadt
• Linus Torvalds
• Eric Raymond
• Alan Cox
• Darren Reed

External Links

• Richard Stallman's personal site
• RMS supports pedophilia, as long as the receiver is a GPL licensed foster child.
• An unbiased article on the effects of RMS on today's economy
• RMS bitching about Creative Commons not being copyleft Nazis like him
• RMS is a 9/11 truther! JEWS DID WTC
• RMS thinks niggers with AIDS should be sterilized.
• RMS interview
• RMS is glad that Jobs died
• Wikiquote page - lulz, RMS is a pretty cool guy

Antinatalist-like attitudes

• http://edward.oconnor.cx/2005/04/rms - RMS values "contributing to a program like Emacs" over breederism—something that any filthy, lowly animal or nigger can do
• https://stallman.org/articles/children.html

Richard Stallman is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article August 10, 2005
Preceded by Latin	Richard Stallman	Succeeded by Internets

Featured article August 23 & August 24, 2011
Preceded by Nevada-tan	Richard Stallman	Succeeded by savetheinternet