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imported>Christian Weston Chandler |
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| {{Chrischanbar}}
| | STOP Spreading Lies and Bullsh*t, DIRTY THICK-HEADED FUCKERS. |
| {{cleanup}}
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| Most if not all of [[Chris-chan]]'s videos have a yellow, piss-colored, grain filter on them. While it's suspected that it's because of his webcam, it's more likely that a fog has risen in his room from all the dirty laundry, dust, and stains combined, and Chris is the only one immune to the toxic vapors.
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| <center>
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| {{frame|
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| {{fv|CCV1|background-color: black;color:white;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <youtube>UFQrhp84jDo</youtube><br><center>In the beginning, there was a contest</center>|<youtube>vxdvUwhg7jg</youtube><br><center>A true and honest confession</center>|<youtube>p-LgkC1856A</youtube>|<youtube>f9h47GLv7zE</youtube>|<youtube>p-LgkC1856A</youtube>|<youtube>UGmYMGqnqL0</youtube>|<youtube>1xo3SAwefBM</youtube>|<youtube>D7XrVgM5E6Y</youtube>|<youtube>UFQrhp84jDo</youtube>|<youtube>X02mQycxqSw</youtube>}}
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| |border=black|background=black}}
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| </center>
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| ===Autistic Rage Unleashed===
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| <center>{{fv|CCV2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |<youtube>p-LgkC1856A</youtube>
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| |<youtube>ZWDyKBITEaA</youtube>
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| |<youtube>UJbjb47nEfY</youtube>
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| |<youtube>MqNhOEBVxtk</youtube>
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| |<youtube>dsyhCUYJoI8</youtube>
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| |<youtube>KYATxB7NXAY</youtube>
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| |<youtube>oUCn5jp2cJI</youtube>
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| |<youtube>Y75slWA829c</youtube>
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| |<youtube>yUEomc5KX3c</youtube>}}</center>
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| <center>{{morphquote|CCQ1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |BACK THE FUCK OFF!!!|GANGSTA CHRIS MOTHAFUCKA
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| |[[HNNNNNNGGGGG|HHNNNNNNGGHHH!]] STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL [[Falcon Punch| PONCH]] HIS LIGHTS OUT!|[[shit was so cash|Shit was SO CLYDE CASH!]]
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| |Depressed, Depressed|Chris-chan
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| |The next time I see you, I'm going to wail on your ass and put you in the hospital. [[Internet Tough Guy|I am going to]] [[Secks|fuck]] [[You|you]] [[In the ass|up]] [[Shit was so cash|so]] bad you won't have an iceball's chance in hell of getting a woman pregnant or getting anything "up" for that matter.
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| And while you bleed your ass-scented blood upon the ground I'm going to carve my initials onto your back and you'll remember.
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| By God Almighty you will remember, you fucking degenerate. |XoriasLord's comment to Chris about his faggotry.
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| |1. Go on a date with Chris-chan
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| 2. Slip a roofie into his Fanta to knock him out
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| 3. When he wakes up, tell him we fucked for all of 3 seconds, and leave
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| 4. Get knocked up by some other guy
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| 5. Call Chris and tell him I'm carrying his daughter
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| 6. Have an abortion
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| 7. Mail the fetus in a pickle jar to Chris with a label that says "Crystal Weston Chandler"
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| 8. ????
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| 9. PROFIT!!!!!!|Iyasaekki
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| }}</center>
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| ==Chris-Chan Appears on Old Media==
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| ===Chris chan on The radio===
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| [[Last Thursday]], Chris-chan recieved mainstream attention, check it out here.
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| <s>http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145</s> '''BALEETED'''.
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| <s>[http://www.kevinandbeanarchive.com/audio.php?dir=audio/-------May%2012%20Tuesday-------&file=12%20Guy%20On%20The%20Internet%20Recycles%20His%20Own%20Excretions-2009-05-12.mp3 Chris-chan gets mentioned on Los Angeles's KROQ]</s> '''BALEETED'''.
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| ===TV Return===
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| Recently our <s>virgin</s> friend has snagged a spot on G4's new Web soup show, thinking it will help get him laid. He says that he is honored to be on their show. What he does not know is that the show is based around clips of internet fail.
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| In the video (removed) he openly expresses that he's a virgin single and still looking and asking for a Boyfriend-free girl to give him a call on his cellphone or find him in his Ruckersville and ask him on a date. This video was removed from his account, after he realized that once again he became a subject of ridicule.
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| ===Interview with Guru Larry===
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| <center>
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| {{frame|
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| {{fv|CCV3|background-color: black;color:white;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <youtube>-wLuussu4iQ</youtube>|
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| <youtube>ly4HcwZioJk</youtube>|
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| <youtube>8V4w-OSdslo</youtube>|
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| <youtube>IxOI63oNDzM</youtube>|
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| <youtube>_1v0aPxgh0Q</youtube>}}
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| |border=black|background=black}}
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| </center>
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| {{quote|It was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not, because we couldn't see if you were holding Optimus Prime or so. If it was on video, we'd know right away that you was lying...|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]]}}
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| {{quote|Yes, of course. You are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]]|while trying to keep a straight face}}
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| ===Chris hits the town AKA Trollin' the Trolls===
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| <youtube>a4-LgbN-sHA</youtube><br>
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| <youtube>vyjU0DcvjZ8</youtube>
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| This video (which CWC removed) is noteworthy in that it features Chris looking ''slightly'' more human that usual. [[Internet Explorer|I.E.]], he wears normal clothes, loses his pedo glasses and medallion, and has a goatee. In short, he looks less like a [[retard|tard]] and more like a [[Internet tough guy|douchebag]] in this video, which is an improvement. However, he <del>may well still be as retarded</del> is most definitely as retarded as before.
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| All of this effort to make himself look like a normal person was in vain for Chris, as his idea of normal is a strange cross between a [[guido|collar douchebag]], a faggot emo bitch, and, of course, an [[internet tough guy]]. The sole purpose of this video was for Chris to attempt to trick the numerous trolls who wasted years of their lives torturing Chris, by showing what a "normal" person he is and that, in fact, [[mindfuck|HE is the troll, trolling the trolls who trolled a troll]]. The only problem for Chris is that he is an absolute retard, and didn't realize that he is as transparent as fucking grease stained toilet paper.
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| You tried hard, Chris, but how could we forget about your [http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischans-sex-tape/XDjg4KnvdT9o/ sex tapes,] [[Trolling IRL|dating catastrophe]], [[Fleshlight|dad walking in on you masturbating]], [[Sonichu|Sonichu comics]], [[Idiot|speech impediment]], [[Wapanese|anime figurine-filled room]], [[Retard|countless CAPTAIN'S LOGS and fan videos]], and that [[At least 100 years ago|old-ass]] news report outright revealing your being a [[Aspierations|high-functioning autistic]]?
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| He then goes on to add a new video two days later, proclaiming his [[lies|'truths']] as [[Truth|Lies]] Thus restoring balance to the universe and all its living creatures, this moment is destroyed by his [[retard|Autistic]] hand moments later as he proclaims "Take that you trolls!"
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| The echo of a thousand facepalms could be heard ever since.
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| ==Chris-Chan: Terrorist==
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| <center>
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| {{frame|
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| {{fv|CCV5|background-color: black;color:white;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <center>'''CWC DID 9/11'''</center><br><youtube>JRvoNe8_584</youtube><br><center>You thought [[Jews did 9/11]]? Think again.</center>|
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| <center>'''CWC DID TITANIC'''</center><br><youtube>C3mv4UjTblU</youtube><br><center>[[Jessi Slaughter|You dun goofed, Chris.]]</center>}}
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| |border=#ABCDEF|background=#ABCDEF}}
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| </center>
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| ==Video Footage of Chris-chan's Sex Life==
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| <center>{{fv|CCV6|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |'''Mount and do me'''
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| <br>
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| In this video, virtual [[cunnilingus|pussy eating]] and [[manboobs]].
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| <youtube>wEKLxgRJnAc</youtube>
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| |'''Chris's love affair with his PS3'''
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| <br>
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| In the following masterpiece, you can see Christian [[Rape|raping]] his [[PS3]], injecting [[semen]] in its every hole. It's good to finally see that fat fuck do some exercise.
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| Of course, remixes were inevitable- so take your pick. Portal, pr0n or Benny Hill.
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| <youtube>lVwiROEIHic</youtube><br>
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| <youtube>dvl5qFuWfxs</youtube><br>
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| <youtube>6SbiSvMhor0</youtube><br>
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| <youtube>0mYPBbz2QXU</youtube><br>
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| |'''Don't Trust Them Homos'''
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| <br>
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| Upon the reclaimation of his [[Jewtube]] account, he decided to show his [[Hal Turner|nigger-loving]] ways and produce a new video, with audio only, proclaiming just how [[Shit|awesome]] that [[fag|faggots]] are.
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| <center><youtube>arg98WML-XA</youtube></center>
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| <br>
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| {{quote|Thank [[God]] for mirrors|'''The Internet''' - ''because who doesn't like a lulzcow singing [[shit|beautifully]]''}}
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| Of course it was only a matter of time till someone made the video more [[horrible|appropriate]], so sometime [[Last thursday]], [[A challenger appears]] and this is what came of it.
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| <center><youtube>4P5beCW8K9E</youtube></center>
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| |'''It's OK to be Gay'''
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| <br>
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| While drinking one of his [[Semen|special homemade Fanta cocktails]], our favorite [[Autism|autistic]] Manchild decided it was finally time for him to [[Gay|come out of the closet]]. But remember kids, [[Not gay|STAY STRAIGHT]]!
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| <youtube>5NZw7tRNa2A</youtube>
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| }}</center>
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| ===Practice Wedding===
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| Some time [[Last Thursday|last Thursday]] Chris took a further leap into madness by uploading a new shitty video where he pops the question on his latest [[Troll|Sweetheart]]. Chris [[fails|croons]] along with Celine Dion as he bombards your eyes with more of his shitty drawings. Apparently Chris believes [[unrealistic expectations|IF YOU GET MARRIED IN THE COMIC, YOU GET MARRIED IN REAL LIFE.]] The mawkish first scene with [[troll|Ivy]]'s [[Josef Fritzl|father]] [[boring|feels]] like watching the [[Military|changing of the guard]] at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
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| <br>
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| <br>
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| [[Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|thumb|right|Note all the Glade Plugins. It's [[Rape|business]] time.|140px]]
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| <center>
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| <youtube>KoattvuAvNg</youtube>
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| </center>
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| Except for perhaps a [[DO NOT WANT|salt-dipped, electrified bear trap]], Chris is probably the last thing any officer would want his daughter touching.
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| '''WHY SHOULD I [[Shit nobody cares about|CARE]]?'''
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| These sort of [[Shit|antics]] are exactly what we've come to expect of Chris and it would be wholly unremarkable if Chris hadn't drawn a [[retarded|super special]] "Honeymoon" Comic featuring his [[DO NOT WANT|autistic dick]]. Chris really knows what girls want. [[You|What girl]] wouldn't ask for crude drawings of a [[Kids in Sandbox|broken, bent penis]]?
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| {{quote|THANK YOU, [[GOD]]!|what Chris cries out during simultaneous furry orgasm}}
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| Download it [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H here]
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| ==The Many-Coloured Faces of Chris-Chan==
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| <center>{{fv|CCV7|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |'''No, He's not wearing a Ski Mask'''
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| <br>
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| <youtube>TzAJvMKQeJA</youtube>
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| {{quote|"Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!"|Chris-Chan's Mistrel Show, with Chris as 'Little Blockhead Sambo'.}}
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| |'''Oh god he's a juggalo now'''<br>
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| Yep. Someone emerged with a lower [[IQ]] than [[Anabelle Lotus]] in the [[Juggalo]] fandom.
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| <center><youtube>A83TC27Lrqg</youtube></center>
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| |'''[[Niggers]], [[jews]]... Bad news!'''
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| <br>
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| Chris, defending the glorious [[White trash|Aryan]] race in the best way possible.
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| <youtube>ICmPmA99AgM</youtube>
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| <br>
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| <youtube>6odVsyr3I40</youtube>
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| }}</center>
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| === Chris Chan: Barfly ===
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| Sometime [[last thursday]], Chris took a shower and went outside to partake in what is considered a normal activity for ronery losers his age: drinking.
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| <center><youtube>xuTPXv9Mthg</youtube></center>
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| Of course he got drunk and acted like a complete tit, showing off his well-honed singing voice and ability to identify instruments that are not guitars, but it's probably the closest to normal he's acted in the last 15 years.
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| ==Links==
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| *[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler The Manchild's current YouTube account.]
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| *[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary The CWCville Library Video Archives], where you can find absolutely every single video he has ever made.
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| {{trolls}}
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| [[Category:People]]
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| [[Category:YouTube]][[Category:Chris-chan]]
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