Total Drama

Total Drama Island is a poorly drawn cartoon that 13-year-old boys fap to for it's edginess and tits. From the cartoonists of Stoked and 6teen, it proves Canadians are trying to take over the American children's way of life.

Plot

They were in it for the lulz and profit.

Total Drama Island is a Reality Television Program which centers around the tubular adventures of best friends Chris and Chef as they rampage through the beautiful nation of Canada, abducting defenseless youngsters and bringing them back to their Base of Operations to pit them against each other in a variety of entertaining games, events, and challenges, all in pursuit of the grand prize of a few Canadian dollars.

Cast

The first contestants

Pick a side: The girls are lesbians OR he's a fatass; one is an AIDS infected whore and the other is a hot goth also infected with HIV. Now, DO IT FAGGOT and FIGHT!

Bitches don't know 'bout my Jew gold!

• Heather: Heather is a fucking dyke and a whore, trying buttsecks with Lindsey and Beth, and getting everyone who stands in her way raped. Always wears the same mini-skirt and almost gives Duncan head in almost every episode.She then turns into a liar, denying her love to a mexican, Being the most common pairing in the world,Asians and Mexicans She hates Gwen because she didn't want to fuck her. While trying to be cool, she generates loads of lulz, but doesn't realize that.

• Duncan: An angsty 13 year old boy that frequently mentions how cool he is and that he's in jewvie (most likely due to sexual assault).Get hits in the Kiwis at least 2 times an episode and rapes every girl on the show. Obviously the fap material of every person on the show, since being a badass is so hardcore. HURR DURR, I'M A REBEL. Duncan rage-quitted in the third season because he couldn't stand his two bitches (Gwen and Courtney) catfighting and bitch-slapping each other every fucking five seconds.

• Lindsey: 16 year old girl who represents all blondes IRL, so dumb that she falls in love with a guy and forgets that he actually exists. Epitome of awesome as she calls off Heather before being kicked off and telling Courtney that no one liked her so she would have been kicked off anyway She probably fucked every guy in the series (because she is rich and beautiful) and forgot that happened. She voted herself off in the second season because she was so retarded, her supposed best friend who tricked her even admitted her idiocy.

• Courtney: Hysterical bitch who screams that she is a CIT all the time and willing to do anything to win. She falls in love with Duncan because she likes them rude boys. Noone likes her. At all. Duncan pretended to be with her so he could damn get rid of her hysterical ass.

• DJ: He always pretends to love animals only to have buttsecks with them. He also seems to love his mother a lot. Maybe because she is the only human he will ever fuck with. He also got cursed in the third season because he broke some "magical" Egyptian fossilized animal.

• Geoff: Despite looking like a homosexual from Brokeback Mountain, Geoff is your typical guido. Pretends to be Bridgette's lover so nobody will ever suspect that he is a fag. He was a wannabe Chris clone in second season and managed to successfully jew eight people out of the third season, but they weren't the audience's favorite, not by a long shot so who gives a fuck?

• Bridgette: Surfer girl, vegan, blonde, easily manipulated, loves nature, need I say more? She was a total whore and sold her body to Mr. Rhode Island, and constantly fucked every five seconds in Season Two.

• Owen: Owen is a fat piece of fatter fuck who broke his mother's vaginal wall when she shat him out, leading to her demise. The show implies he is bisexual: as he dreams of sucking Justin's caramel-flavored cock in one episode, and rapes Izzy in another. Even disguising decent food as shit will not help protect you from this beast. He is quite proud of his avuncular body, despite the fact that his legs are disproportional and his nose looks like a clock radio. Owen is constantly the subject of nude shots in the show.

• Katie and Sadie: Skinny black bimbo and fat white bimbo who are best female friends for life or something. Only appeared in the first season since they both sucked at the game like Eva.

• Tyler: Who? Um... not really much to say for this one, he wasn't in season Th- Wait, he was in Season Three? No, wait that was Noah.

• Alejandro: The only Mexican on the show, and he's an immigrant. He also whored himself to every female on the show except for Gwen to win challenges but got kicked in the balls by Heather.

• Gwen: Gwen is one of the better drawn characters in TDI and is the only girl to keep a relationship. Pulling up a Google search on TDI porn will result in Gwen being raped, bukkaked, furry'd, pissed and shit upon, and other disgusting content that only the internet can dream about. Since she is goth/scene/emo/something (and everyone knows being goth is cool), her popularity led her to be one of the finalists in the show. Also a great generator of drama. She also had a break up with her bitch, Courtney after she stole her princess crown whilst she fucked her Pimp and was caught by Jocky whatsisface, Ezekiel or whoever. In season five Gwen tried to "make nice" with her bitch but continued to pull BDSM pranks on her.

• Trent: Run-of-the-mill douchebag who everyone loved but somehow ends up with Gwen, they break up when BooBooQuisha caught him having sex with Heather while she was digging through the trash for used tampons. He went batshit insane in season two and had a fetish over the number "Nine". Probably because that was how old he was when his Grandpa had sodomized him.

• LeShawna: Thinks her ass is sexy. Harold, a friggin' nerd, is the only one who is desperate or stupid enough to fuck her. He probably broke both his legs while sexing her, as he is damn skinny and she is nothing but a fatass. She got bloated in Season Two and shat all over her team.

• Justin: Always seen flexing but is voted off 5 minutes into the show so no-one really cared.

• Noah: Aside from Trent and Duncan, every TDI fangirl thinks he's orgasmic even though no-one knows what race he is, African, Jamaican, Hawaiian, Hispanic, no-one FUCKING KNOWS. He's also gay for Cody.

• Izzy: Mainly referred as Owen's buttfucker and the most well designed animated female in the series to more intelligent people, Izzy is the only known camper to get busted by the Man rather than walk the Cock of Shame for carrying a bomb containing HIV. Also has ADD.

• Cody: You.

• Beth: Daughter of Velma from Scooby-Doo and most likely a lesbian like Eva.

• Herald: Based off Napoleon Dynamite, they literally have the same voice actor, he's also obsessed with D&D, anime, and other shit, would've been better off with Beth but ends up with LaShawna and has epic ninja skills.

• Ezekiel: Originally a home schooled fag no one cares about who stays around for one second, now a freakish Gollum-like monster the show's producers made to piss off the fans of the character.

• Sierra: Your biggest fan. She is the leader of your fan club, writes fanfics about you and her, dreams about you, and most likely masturbates to pictures of you.

The semi-noobs

• Staci:Fat girl who had appeared for like 2 seconds and pissed everybody off and as a punishment, so they burned off her hair.

• Dakota: A rich girl who turned into was kicked off for being stupid, she then returns as Chris' personal slave. She hooks up with Sam and turns into a mutant halfway through the series, which arouses Sam even more.

• B: A mute black guy who can make everything out of anything, he was the first to be betrayed by Scott

• Dawn: Freaky, Luna Lovegood type of girl who can float, talk to animals, and disappear out of plain sight in a matter of seconds, though in reality she was most likely tripping on acid the entire time she was on the show.

• Sam: Fatass Basement Dweller who did nothing but jerk off to his games and weighed the cast down with his pig sweat and pork rind breath.

• Anne Maria: A wannabe Jersey whore who appeared on the show for the "fame" until Gollum got to her and gave her a Cubic Zircon, which she thought was the diamond.

• Brick: What would've happened if Bobby Hill managed to get into the military.

• Scott: A Redneck who is also a Ginger and a faggot who schemed his way to victory, but got whipped by Zoey

• Jo: A dyke who bullied her bitch, the little black guy with glasses throughout the entire series, though in the end he double crossed her and got her kicked off.

• Cameron: Jo's personal slave who actually managed to get into the final 2.

• Zoey: A loser Hipster girl who has the personality of cardboard, she was pretty much useless until Mike was voted off for being spastic.

• Mike: A spastic twat who's a psycho and is so lonely he has to imagine friends, but unfortunately for him they only talk to each other and take over his body every 5 minutes.

• Lightning: A rich nigger who constantly refers to himself as the Third Person. It took him almost the entire season to figure out Jo was a girl, which is completely understandable.

The new noobs

• Sugar: Basically teenage Honey Boo Boo, she's fat, loud, obnoxious, and beats the shit out of Ella in every episode.

• Ella: A Tumblrgirl who tries to be friends with everyone on the island. She can't go an episode without singing so Chris threaten to kick her off the island if she sings again, which she does in the next episode so Chris disqualifies her.

• Topher: A sadistic loser who aspires to be like Chris. Everyone on the island hates his guts because he's willing enough to get on his knees and suck Chris' cock. He later gets his ass booted off because he tried to call a company to replace Chris, while Chris was on the other end acting as the agent.

• Jasmine: A black, Australian giantess that almost everyone is scared shitless of.

• Sky: Basically take Zoey and give her a personality, though she's still boring.

• Dave: Loser Indian kid who gets a massive boner for Sky, he's pretty much a cannon fodder for his team.

• Rodney: Ginger hick who lives with his dad and brothers. He's never interacted with a girl in his life so he crushes on almost all the girls on the island.

• Beardo: The token character that lasts around 5 seconds before they're kicked off. He only speaks once throughout the entire series.

• Amy and Samey: Twin cheerleaders that don't last very long on the show. Amy is the evil one and Samey is the nice one, though Amy tricks everyone except Jasmine into thinking Samey is the evil one. Amy tries to get Samey eliminated though it backfires and Amy is eliminated instead. Two episodes later, Samey was about to compete in a challenge when Amy comes out of nowhere and rapes her. At the elimination ceremony, Chris disqualifies both of them because no-one bothers or cares to remember who is who.

• Shawn: Resembles those guys who are obsessed with zombies and those people who plan for the apocalypse.

• Leonard: The LARPer (Live-action Role-Player). He runs around pretending to be a wizard but only Sugar is stupid enough to believe he is one.

• Max: An annoying emo prick who claims to be the evilest thing to ever exist though in reality, the world would be better off if he didn't exist.

• Scarlett: Max's self-proclaimed slave, even though without her Max has the usefulness of a hangnail. She's the hidden villain on the show and most likely a closeted lesbian.

Other

• Chef: The two-dimensional equivalent of Samuel L. Jackson. A basement dweller that hates people, so he gives them shit. Although nobody cares about him, he gets a lot of screen time just because he sticks his black shlong into Chris' ass.

• Chris: Chris is a surfer who watches from afar as the gullible cast of the show lines his pockets, occasionally announcing the day's event or making a shitty joke about Canada

• Eva: A flaming tranny from Soviet Russia who airs on the show for 2 seconds. Notice how he/she practices her muscles for hardcore masturbation throughout the whole time he/she is in the season.

• Blaineley: TV show host who whored herself to Chris to get on the show but lasted 2 seconds.

Incarnations

• Total Drama Island: Season 1 is focused on the contestants taking part in ridiculous and drama-filled challenges every day for a summer vacation at Camp Wawanakwa. Total Drama Island was heralded by critics for its use of exposed breasts in a children's cartoon and language.

• Total Drama Action: After making instant PROFIT in two countries by scarring kids for life, they did it again, Disney-style, by using the Jonas Brothers to milk the flogged, dead horse for mo' money. This time the nudity is being done by the black contestants of the show. There are a few changes in facial features and the campers are now called the crew. This made a potentially good show that could have restored respect for animation much fucking worse. We now have black people prancing around naked, telling stupid jokes and delivering shitty, unoriginal, and unfunny lines and creating a bunch of bullshit drama that no-one cares about. It's like Hurricane Katrina all over again. No one cares about this season and pretends it doesn't exist.

• Total Drama, World Tour: Chris decides that two is not enough, and all great things must end in trilogies, so he decided to get all of the non interesting characters and lock them on a plane and travel all over the world for his pedo-sexual pleasures. Every once in a while, the contestant must randomly sing in sync or they will get teh boot. This season introduces two new characters, Alejandro, sum ridiculously hot beaner, and Sierra, the aborted mutated offspring of 4chan and a 16 year old girl. As you can see, this will be the worst season yet. This season is the start of the show where the producers try too hard to please the cocksucking hungry fans.

• Total Drama, Revenge of the Island: And it's been confirmed that a 4th season of this shitty-ass show will be made. Thankfully, the orignal cast was killed off and replaced with 12 new characters, and there are less niggers in this season (2 to be exact), but it'll take place where the 1st season took place. Big deal right? Except now it's radioactive, so expect three eyed fish and fucking zombies everywhere. So much for trilogies.

• Total Drama Allstars: The latest invigorating segment of the Total Drama franchise, it will behold some of the characters from the first three seasons and some of the newer ones, they'll end up using the popular ones again so people like Eva and Beth won't be in it. One again, this season is trying too hard to please the cocksucking fans.

• Total Drama Pahkitew Island: Thankfully it's not coming until 2014 and it's introducing new characters so Eva won't be in this one sadly.

On the internet

Nigger is the best TDI character!

<video type="youtube" id="SZhvW_lQkE0" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="Prepare to see the greatest moment ever in a children's animated series."/> If you think this is the worst ripoff of Survivor and await a lolsuit, you would be right. After shortly becoming a instant hit in Canada and later the USA, the show gained more fame from the Internet, resulting in shitty fan characters, a fucking wiki based on the show, and even two memes spawned from Jewgrounds and JewTube. Who could blame a large group of basement dwellers that helped make memes like AYB and the Numa Numa rise to fame for force-memeing this show too? A bunch of fucking jews.

The two memes that found there way out of the womb were Dancing Owen and Heather's boobs. After all, this is the closest you'll ever get to the real thing.

Gallery

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External Links

• Spam the shit out of the official TDI blog!
• TV.com's forum, spam the shit outta it, too!

See Also

• Dancing Owen
• JewTube
• Jewgrounds
• TV

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