JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

The creator of JoJo's, Hirohiko Araki at age 84.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is a manga created sometime in the 1980s by some asian named Hirohiko Araki, because he had nothing better to do . This series is famous for Dio Brando. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is Shounen Jump's second longest-running manga ever, and because it is the origin of two memes, za warudo and WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, it is the only good manga to have ever been created. No exceptions.

Plot

An average scene in JoJo’s.

Because Araki has ADHD, there are eight different storyline arcs. These arcs are:

• Phantom Blood
• Battle Tendency
• Stardust Crusaders
• Diamond is Unbreakable
• Vento Aureo (Italian for "Golden Wind")
• Stone Ocean
• Steel Ball Run
• Jojolion

Each arc of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure follows the same plot, which consists of a member of the Joestar bloodline pissing off Dio in some manner. No, really. The plots of each arc, in order, are basically about pissing off:

• Vampire Dio
• Homosexual Super Cavemen who indirectly created Dio
• Moar Vampire Dio
• People with supar powers because of vampire Dio
• Vampire Dio's son
• Father Bootylicious (Dio's bff) and one of Vampire Dio's bones.
• Dinosaur Dio
• ???

After succeeding at pissing everyone off, the JoJo of the arc either dies, or has babies. Or both. Before the anime came out, nobody really cared about any of the arcs other than Stardust Crusaders, because back then, life didn't get any better than vampires that can stop time and drop fucking steamrollers on people.

Characters

All the characters are well-designed and realistic. The protagonist of each arc always has the term "Jo" somewhere in his/her name twice. Other characters are generally named after singers or bands, Italian food, or fashion companies. Sooner or later, they're going to be named them after memes. Sometimes though, Araki decides to be a normal Azn and make their names Japanese. The main characters for each arc are as follows:

Father Pucci's Father Bootylicious's stand, C-Moon.

• Jonathan Joestar - Basically the OP of all the JoJos. No one cares about him because he got pwned by Dio.

• Will Zeppeli - The guy who taught Jonathan the ripple. Gets chopped in half and transfers his life energy to Jonathan.

• Robert E.O. Speedwagon - Once threw a hat at Johnathan and became his BFF after Johnathan beats the shit out of him. Later on, all he really does for the rest of the series is shit himself when something scary happens..

• Dio Brando - The first troll in the series. He one day decides to troll Johnathan until he gets trolled himself. Since he doesn't want to appear butthurt, he turns himself into a vampire and trolls the Joestar family even after he's dead. Unfortunately, faggots are diluting his badassness by using "WRYYYY" as much as they quote Family Guy.

• Joseph Joestar - Usually regarded by fans as the rough equivalent of Chuck Norris. Reappears again in the 3rd and 4th series as an old faggot with a stand that lets him tentacle rape. He is also well known for having the power of predicting what other people are about to say.

• Caesar Zeppeli - So apparantly Caesar had a kid, and then his kid had a kid, and they got more homosexual with each generation. Died after being crushed by a cross.

• Rudolf Von Stronheim - Cyborg Nazi. Also the inspiration for Guile.

• Pillar Men - Three swole old fucks named Karz, Esidisi, and Wammu. There's also Santana but nobody gives a fuck about him. The leader Kars later evolves so much that sex is useless to him, but was then thrown into outer space for the rest of the series, at least not until father niggerlicious made 36 copies of him on mars.

• Jotaro Kujo - The Jojo who started the whole trend with stands in his arc. He's supposedly 17 when he's first introduced in the 3rd arc, but apparently looks like he's in his 30s, and every series he reappears in afterwards, he looks younger. Fangirls often make up fan art and/or fanfic about him having sex with his buttbuddy, Kakyoin. He kills Dio with a Falcon Punch at the end of the 3rd series. His stand is a blue she-male called Star Platinum that can fist at the speed of light.

• Kira - A virgin with stand that can blow everything up, including 2 buildings. He got a hard on on Mona Lisa and dead girl hand and all he want was a quiet life, not until the jojo's turn him into ghost.

• Josuke Higashikata - Elvis Presley wannabe (his hair is a fucking pompadour) with money instincts of a Jew, which makes him the coolest JoJo out of all. He is apparently known for flipping out on anyone who makes fun of his ridiculous hair. His stand can fix shit and is also the biggest pussy because he's the only Jojo who doesn't have the balls to actually kill anyone. Though to be fair, he did turn someone that pissed him off into a living toilet, which counts for something I guess.

• Giorno Giovanna - Dio's bastard child, which let him inherit some of Dio's win. Started out looking like a typical azn, but as he grew stronger, his hair turned yellow and his eyes became blue. His first stand was a weak piss-yellow bitch that did nothing but grow trees, but after it got stabbed by a magical arrow it gained the ability to divide by zero.

• Diavolo - A duo personality faggot who started the whole stands shit by shooting everyone with arrows for the lulz. Destined to be a true Italian gangster but was raped by GioGio and was cursed to be raped at every moment. He also has a stand that erase times, which made no fucking sense at all since not even the fan, or the author understand. It just works I guess?

• Jolyne Kujo - Was starred as the main heroine in the 6th series as a short break from the meat train of male JoJos, but due to his faggotry, Araki drew her like a man. Her stand is made of silly string.

• Father/Enrico Pucci - Dio's butt-buddy who wants to bring him back to life and reset the world. He once trolled his funny hair brother by calling the KKK on him, which is ironically since he is a nigger, and being the nigger he is, he is destined to destroy all great thing by reset the universe at least 36 times. Around blacks, never relax.

• Johnny Joestar/Gyro Zeppeli - Take Johnathan and Will from the first arc, and then make them 10 times gayer. Nobody gives a fuck about either of them because Johnny is a cripple who shoots his nails at people, and Gyro is a gay cowboy. Obviously these two were created after Araki had seen Brokeback Mountain one too many times. They both have some stupid spin abilities which Araki made up by reading Wikipedia, similar to every stand he creates. While Gyro can shoot his 2 spinnig balls, Johnny can shoot his finger nails. Later Johnny's stand got super that he becomes a rape machine and not only spin through heaven, but also teared the president of united states a new asshole.

• Funny Valentine - An American who had the gayest name with the gayest look and the gayest looking stand in the series. He is apparently the president of the united states after fucked jesus corpse in the desert. He can access into other dimension to fuck his other selves also send anyone into other dimension will turn them into sponges if they collide. He also attempt to rape a 14 year old girl.

• Josuke Higashikata Again - Otherwise known as Jo2uke or Gappy, this guy wears a sailor outfit and needs a serious case of dental plan. Has a stand that has bubbles that can take properties out of things. Also has four balls.

Stands

Stands are the physical manifestation of whatever super power each JoJo's character has. They first appeared in part three, and were given a name based on their color and the given tarot card. When he ran out of tarot cards, Araki started naming them after Egyptian gods. Later Araki got fucking lazy, so he decided to start naming them after songs/bands. It can be noted that Araki is a lazy fuck, and every final boss has a stand with some sort of time ability. At least 80% of these make no fucking sense without a tl;dr explanation. The final boss of part 6 involves speeding up time so fucking fast the universe resets. Meanwhile, living things don't get sped up, which leads to them getting pwnd by things as simple as automatic doors. The final boss of part 7 allows the user to travel between dimensions.

Other Memes of Note

It was me, DIO!

Basically a Bait-and-switch that originated on tumblr from the Phantom Blood anime that goes like "You expected X, but it was me, DIO!"

Even Speedwagon is afraid

Another meme taken from the first part of the manga that has Speedwagon afraid of something because he's a little bitch.

Pictures

Gallery About missing Pics

• 
  Oh, part six takes place in Florida. This is Annui, discussing with Weather Report the lack of Disney characters in the Disney guidebook.
• 
  Diavolo, the menacing villain from part five, with some dude's foot in his crotch (Risotto's).
• 
  Dio Brando making his trademark sound.
• 
  The protagonist from part four. What's sad is that the weirdest part of this picture is his hair.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• Rule 63
  Rule 63
• 
  I'm not sure if this is regular guro or necrophilia, really.
• 
  Kira with his girlfriend.
• 
  JESUS CHRIST IT'S A COCK
• 
  Just for the lulz.
• 
  The mafia initiation rites in part five.
• 
  Fuck the speech bubble, look at the fucking epic flat-top.
• 
  Because Risotto is still wearing pants, Doppio is doing it wrong.
• 
  That's actually from the mango. No editing. Seriously.
• 
  Standcest, the Rule 34 of stands and their users, is common.
• 
  Father Bootylicious is one of the only black person in animu.
• 
  Really, do I really have to say anything
• 
  Dio's ultimate form is Raptor Jesus.
• File:Disney jojo.jpg
• Abdul, the party's Arab in the third series, is quite fond of fire.
  Abdul, the party's Arab in the third series, is quite fond of fire.

See Also

• WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
• Za Warudo

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is part of a series on Anime Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.