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Chris Kluwe: Difference between revisions
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Chris Kluwe, [[powerword|Christopher J Kluwe]], is a former handegg punter, who got fired for being too old to kick the ball, despite him claiming it was because he supported the gays, and who is now living out his retirement by neglecting his wife and child by being a white knight on twitter and by perusing twitch.tv to find a stream of a female let's | Chris Kluwe, [[powerword|Christopher J Kluwe]], is a former handegg punter, who got fired for being too old to kick the ball, despite him claiming it was because he supported the gays, and who is now living out his retirement by neglecting his wife and child by being a white knight on twitter and by perusing twitch.tv to find a stream of a female let's players, that he can flex his fat gut at, in hopes of getting a private session. | ||
==Career end== | ==Career end== | ||
Kluwe likes to | Kluwe likes to claim that he was let go from the Minnesota Vikings for his stance on gay marriage, and that it had absolutely nothing to do with him wanting 4 million a year for being an old washed-up knee-injured has-been. | ||
<pre> | <pre> | ||
“The record fails does not support the claim that the Vikings released Kluwe because of his activism on behalf of same-sex marriage, but instead because of his declining punting performance in 2012 and potentially because of the distraction caused by Kluwe's activism as opposed to the substance of such…The objective evidence, in addition to the subjective evaluation of coaches, special teams staff members and external evaluators, simply contradict Kluwe's view of his performance in 2012. No interviewed witness agreed that Kluwe had a good year in 2012…There is also the issue of Kluwe's age (31) and salary ($1.3 million) in 2012 and slated salary of $1.4 million in 2013. Several coaching staff members noted that Kluwe's age, previous knee injury and leg strength showed a punter in decline. Also, the Vikings were able to sign drafted punter (Jeff) Locke for $405,000, less than one third of Kluwe's scheduled 2013 salary…In grading Kluwe, (Angelo and Hentrich) considered criteria, including but not limited to: (1) get-off time; (2) gross punting average; (3) net punting average; (4) hang time; (5) directional punting; and (6) pooch punting…Angelo said that if he held the title of General Manager for the Minnesota Vikings for the 2012 season, he would have “in all likelihood” released Chris Kluwe as the Vikings punter.” | “The record fails does not support the claim that the Vikings released Kluwe because of his activism on behalf of same-sex marriage, but instead because of his declining punting performance in 2012 and potentially because of the distraction caused by Kluwe's activism as opposed to the substance of such…The objective evidence, in addition to the subjective evaluation of coaches, special teams staff members and external evaluators, simply contradict Kluwe's view of his performance in 2012. No interviewed witness agreed that Kluwe had a good year in 2012…There is also the issue of Kluwe's age (31) and salary ($1.3 million) in 2012 and slated salary of $1.4 million in 2013. Several coaching staff members noted that Kluwe's age, previous knee injury and leg strength showed a punter in decline. Also, the Vikings were able to sign drafted punter (Jeff) Locke for $405,000, less than one third of Kluwe's scheduled 2013 salary…In grading Kluwe, (Angelo and Hentrich) considered criteria, including but not limited to: (1) get-off time; (2) gross punting average; (3) net punting average; (4) hang time; (5) directional punting; and (6) pooch punting…Angelo said that if he held the title of General Manager for the Minnesota Vikings for the 2012 season, he would have “in all likelihood” released Chris Kluwe as the Vikings punter.” | ||
Revision as of 12:00, 10 May 2015
Chris Kluwe, Christopher J Kluwe, is a former handegg punter, who got fired for being too old to kick the ball, despite him claiming it was because he supported the gays, and who is now living out his retirement by neglecting his wife and child by being a white knight on twitter and by perusing twitch.tv to find a stream of a female let's players, that he can flex his fat gut at, in hopes of getting a private session.
Career end
Kluwe likes to claim that he was let go from the Minnesota Vikings for his stance on gay marriage, and that it had absolutely nothing to do with him wanting 4 million a year for being an old washed-up knee-injured has-been.
“The record fails does not support the claim that the Vikings released Kluwe because of his activism on behalf of same-sex marriage, but instead because of his declining punting performance in 2012 and potentially because of the distraction caused by Kluwe's activism as opposed to the substance of such…The objective evidence, in addition to the subjective evaluation of coaches, special teams staff members and external evaluators, simply contradict Kluwe's view of his performance in 2012. No interviewed witness agreed that Kluwe had a good year in 2012…There is also the issue of Kluwe's age (31) and salary ($1.3 million) in 2012 and slated salary of $1.4 million in 2013. Several coaching staff members noted that Kluwe's age, previous knee injury and leg strength showed a punter in decline. Also, the Vikings were able to sign drafted punter (Jeff) Locke for $405,000, less than one third of Kluwe's scheduled 2013 salary…In grading Kluwe, (Angelo and Hentrich) considered criteria, including but not limited to: (1) get-off time; (2) gross punting average; (3) net punting average; (4) hang time; (5) directional punting; and (6) pooch punting…Angelo said that if he held the title of General Manager for the Minnesota Vikings for the 2012 season, he would have “in all likelihood” released Chris Kluwe as the Vikings punter.”
Rape cover up and making fun of victims
sauce
In a Twitter rant, Kluweless explained how two of his viking friends were caught fucking an underage girl. But in true SJW fashion he didn't report it to the police. The reason why Chris didn't call the cops, is because he obviously was one of the two guys
'Chris still hasn't told the police about this, we wonder why.
Penn State Victim joke
Besides covering up rape, Kluweless, was busy making homophobic jokes about rape. Yes, your champion liked to cut a hole in his pants, near his giant gaping asshole, just to proclaim that he was a Penn State victim.
Racism
Homophobia and rape jokes aren't enough for Chris, so after being wiped by pornstar Mercedes Carrera in a debate, all Chris had left was to return to his habits of blatant racism. So Chris went on Twitter, and called Mercedes a nacho shield, because she is a fat spic, before fleeing to his echo chamber as he blocked Mercedes for pointing out his racism. What a class act.
TrippingIcarus
TrippingIcarus is Chris' band. We think it is supposed to be a Nickelback cover band, but they somehow screwed up and became even worse.
Gaming creds
Chris will proudly proclaim that he is a world famous video gamer player and absolute one of the best. Let's see what the public think:
—Jean Never Wins | ||
—http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/2000211-sports-and-racing-nfl/68465823 | ||
—GameInformer | ||
