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Bullshit: Difference between revisions

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imported>AntarcticBear
leverages
imported>AntarcticBear
The more I read it. the more there is to hate.
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{{quote|All Wikipedia articles and other encyclopedic content must be written from a neutral point of view (NPOV), representing fairly and, as much as possible, without bias all significant views (that have been published by reliable sources).|[[TOW]], bullshitting.}}
{{quote|All Wikipedia articles and other encyclopedic content must be written from a neutral point of view (NPOV), representing fairly and, as much as possible, without bias all significant views (that have been published by reliable sources).|[[TOW]], bullshitting.}}
[[Image:Wikipedia wobble.gif|right|250px|thumb|BULLSHITTING INTENSIFIES]]
[[Image:Wikipedia wobble.gif|right|250px|thumb|BULLSHITTING INTENSIFIES]]
[[File:Jargon-filled professional summary resumé buzzwords bullshit.jpg|250px|thumb|right|The business equivalent of a magic spell. Note the lack of proper grammar: 'leverage' should be 'leverages'. This fucking millionaire literally cannot write correct english.]]
[[File:Jargon-filled professional summary resumé buzzwords bullshit.jpg|250px|thumb|right|The business equivalent of a magic spell. Note the lack of proper grammar: 'leverage' should be 'leverages'. This fucking millionaire literally cannot write correct english. Moreover, something cannot be both 'distributed' and 'centralised'; and unless the US patent office is issuing patents for management trends, a 'methodology' cannot be 'proprietary'.]]
[[Image:Realbullshit.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The more-easily recognisable variety of bullshit]]
[[Image:Realbullshit.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The more-easily recognisable variety of bullshit]]


Revision as of 12:42, 27 September 2022

Not to be confused with Crap, Shit, or Penn and Teller's show of the same name.
   
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All Wikipedia articles and other encyclopedic content must be written from a neutral point of view (NPOV), representing fairly and, as much as possible, without bias all significant views (that have been published by reliable sources).
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—TOW, bullshitting.

BULLSHITTING INTENSIFIES
The business equivalent of a magic spell. Note the lack of proper grammar: 'leverage' should be 'leverages'. This fucking millionaire literally cannot write correct english. Moreover, something cannot be both 'distributed' and 'centralised'; and unless the US patent office is issuing patents for management trends, a 'methodology' cannot be 'proprietary'.
The more-easily recognisable variety of bullshit

Bullshit is when you lie, but fail at it. Bullshitting is the aforementioned failure, and is considered a pretty good way of picking up some pussy at the local bar on a Friday night- by describing your rich, handsome cousin's life as your own, for example. Bullshit can also be used to describe nonsense, but is rarely used to do so.

Bullshit is when you lie, everyone knows that you are lying, everyone knows that you know that they know (etc), but it just doesn't matter because you are powerful enough to do whatever the fuck you want and what are they going to do about it? For instance, if you get ass-reamed by a large company and complain, you'll get a letter back saying "XYZ corp cares about all our customers", even though the fact that you just got ass-reamed demonstrates that they don't. It's bullshit. They know it's bullshit, you know it's bullshit, everyone knows its bullshit, but so what? It just doesn't matter, because there's nothing you can do about it anyway. This is what distinguishes bullshit from lying - bullshit isn't expected to be belived.

Etymology

Where does the word come from? Well, dur-hey, it comes from that brown fecal matter that cows produce when you've fed them too much beef, cheese, or small children (no shit).

The origins of the word "bullshit" do not require amazing deductive powers of internet nerds to deduce where the word came from. Why!? Just look at the word for a second...okay? Now find a cow and place your head directly under its ass (presumably after you have fed it large quantities of Chinese toilet paper). You must wait for at least 100 minutes until said cow delivers its large brown envelope. Note: this process is the only way to avoid becoming utterly confused about the true meaning of "bullshit."

If you're still confused, here are some more facts: At first, people used "humanpoop", but seeing as how the word "human" was not a four-letter word and to compare a human to a human would not be as lulzworthy as comparing a human to an animal, a new word had adopted. Also, people refused to use the word "poop" because it made them sound like a 13-year-old boy. Next, people started using "cowpie", but that was too unpopular considering that there were too many insults already found in the Insults for Dummies handbook that already used the word "cow" and there were too many complaints that the stuff did not even taste like pie. Additionally, "cow" did not pass the four-letter litmus test. Finally, after much trial and error, people switched to using the "bullshit." And there you have it, the history of bullshit.

It would also be worth noting that everything you have just read in the paragraph above is complete bullshit.

Bullshit of Note

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