Human pups

Human pups might appear to be the bastard child of furrydom and BDSM. However, there is absolutely nothing sexual about it at all, and it is all harmless fun that takes your mind off the stresses of everyday living. The following picture tells you everything you need to know.

"Tom" AKA "Spot" and former fiancee Rachael Watson (pictured right) on popular British TV pabulum "Good Morning" (May 2016)

The happy couple Choosing a restaurant can be difficult "My Dog Has Fleas" Beast sejeant, sable spot on a field argent

A pervert's lies

The face of depravity

Tom (no surname given) is 32 years old and lives in Hertfordshire. He told interviewers:

"It came about because I saw this costume on eBay and from there it became an alternative ego.

"We do it as children. Why not as an adult?

"When you're into [puppy mode], you ignore what's going on around you in terms of money and food. I drop back into human mindset when going to the loo.

"It's not sexual. It's just escapism to get away from everything that's run of the mill. There's no sexual aspect to the puppy side.

Although his former fiancee Rachael takes him walkies, Tom also has a "handler," Colin, who assumes the role of owner. Tom said: "It's not love.

"We’re soul mates [and] good friends. I have slept in a cage along the way. Colin will be in the bed and I'll be on the floor.

"It's not a dominant submissive relationship though. It's more care, love and handler."

Victim's testimony

"BAD boy! Don't eat other dogs' shit!"

Rachael Watson broke off their engagement and left Tom in 2008 after discovering his hobby, but has since come to terms with his puppy identity and is now a best friend.

She sobbed: "He was more into lycra and he would like to walk around with other like-minded pups but I couldn't get my head around it.

"Years ago I didn't have the support. It wasn't as open.

"When he's Spot he can be a lot more confident. Tom is shy but when he's Spot he can do anything.

"I am proud of him for doing what he wants to do.

Rachael said to Tom: "I think that you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t have Spot in your life. And I'm better off having him in my life than not at all."

She added that social media had helped her understand others in Tom's situation.

Social media understands

In a nutshell

But Tom is not the only plastic-wrapped predator out there. Oh, no, indeed not.

Gallery of nothing sexual going on at all

50-year-old librarian "Bootbrush" enjoys a bit of non-sexual fun "Silver" plays with squeaky toys, and there's nothing sexual about it This professional caterer may also be a leather-clad Rottweiler called "Chip", but there's nothing sexual to it at all It might look as though "Kaz" is wearing a bondage harness, but any sexual connotations are in your mind

The future

See also

• BDSM - an entirely unrelated practice
• Fetish - a technical term that is of no relevance here
• Dogs - an animal that any normal person would wish to be
• Furries - about whom there is also absolutely nothing sexual
• Job - something that gets in the way of a harmless hobby, which is fortunate because Tom might not have one fairly soon
• Women - seem to be absent from this subculture for some inexplicable reason

External links

• The Channel 4 documentary that's causing all this shit
• Po-faced Guardian article, includes psychobabble, other pups, and Tom's confession that Colin really is his boyfriend - which means he was ashamed to admit to being gay on live TV but perfectly happy to cough to living as a rubber-clad dog and parade his sickness in front of cameras
• Pro-snapper's pup pics portfolio
• The pups of Manchester, who meet in a bar on Canal Street, but it's totally NOT a gay thing, and let's be quite clear that it's not even about sex. (You can see "Kaz" -- pictured above -- lurking in the group scene photo)
•  ZentaiSpot - Tom's, I mean Spot's, account (private, unsurprisingly)
•  Fido815 - Some other pup (not private, surprisingly), who is following nearly 700 other accounts, nearly all of which are... go on, guess
•  PuppyPrideUK - Oh dear God in Heaven