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Kurt Eichenbald/Timeline: Difference between revisions

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<tr>
<td>
March 3, 1926
</td>
<td>
Heinz Felix Eichenwald, Kurt's father, is born. {{archive|252OU}}
</td>
<td>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 20, 1930
</td>
<td>
Elva Catherine McDonald, Kurt's mum, is born. {{archive|wAi2L}}
</td>
<td>
</td>
</tr>


<tr>
<tr>
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<td>
<td>
New York
New York
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
January 11, 1987
</td>
<td>
Kurt writes {{archive|8JSkD|BRAVING EPILEPSY'S STORM}}.
</td>
<td>
The New York Times
</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 15, 1990
</td>
<td>
Kurt marries Dr. Theresa Felicia Pearse in an attempt to cover up his [[homosexuality]]. {{archive|F7I6y}}
</td>
<td>
Brooklyn Botanic Garden
</td>
</tr>




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</tr>
</tr>


<tr>
<td>
September 8, 2011
</td>
<td>
Heinz Felix Eichenwald dies. {{archive|252OU}}
</td>
<td>
</td>
</tr>




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</tr>
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<tr>
<td>
January 3, 2013
</td>
<td>
Kurt posts {{archive|hl7Yu|Let’s Repeal the Second Amendment}}.
</td>
<td>
Vanity Fair
</td>
</tr>




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<td>
<td>
Twitter
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
December 30, 2015
</td>
<td>
Kurt threatens to shoot people who use their [[Second Amendment]] rights. {{archive|4ZVcW}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 24, 2016
</td>
<td>
Elva Catherine Eichenwald dies. {{archive|wAi2L}}
</td>
<td>
</td>
</td>
</tr>
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</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
October 10, 2016
</td>
<td>
Sputnik posts {{archive|0fRK8|Hillary Confidante: Benghazi was "Preventable," State Department Negligent}}.
</td>
<td>
Sputnik
</td>
</tr>


<tr>
<td>
November 6, 2016
</td>
<td>
Kurt tweets {{hashtag|FireComey}}. {{archive|zwK0F}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
November 7, 2016
</td>
<td>
Kurt posts {{archive|VwMCO|FBI Director James Comey Is Unfit for Public Service}}.
</td>
<td>
Newsweek
</td>
</tr>




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</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
December 8, 2016
</td>
<td>
Kurt adds '''Crystal Wing Synchro Dragon''' to his [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] wishlist. {{archive|39yip}}
</td>
<td>
Amazon
</td>
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<td>
<td>
Twitter
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
December 12, 2016
</td>
<td>
Kurt adds 8 moar cards to his [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] wishlist. {{archive|39yip}}
</td>
<td>
Amazon
</td>
</td>
</tr>
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</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
December 16, 2016
</td>
<td>
Kurt adds '''Eternal Soul''' to his [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] wishlist. {{archive|39yip}}
</td>
<td>
Amazon
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
March 18, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt calls [[Richard Spencer]] gay. {{archive|qg1A1}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
May 9, 2017
</td>
<td>
Donald Trump fires James Comey, just like Kurt wanted.
</td>
<td>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
May 9, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt whines about Trump firing Comey. {{archive|xmEKf}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
March 18, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt goes on an unhinged tweetstorm accusing [[Richard Spencer]] of being in cahoots with jew_goldstein. {{archive|vfH9g}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
June 8, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt says that he and his kids just wanted to show his wife [[tentacle]] [[porn]]. {{archive|tBDYY}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
June 15, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt tells Stephen King that he can [[sue]] Trump for blocking him on Twatter. {{archive|lKBav}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
June 21, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt threatens to [[dox]] anyone who "trolls" him. {{archive|rLpeb}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
June 21, 2017
</td>
<td>
Julian Assange links to an article about Newsweek settling with Sputnik for Kurt's libel against them. {{archive|4zIvR}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
June 21, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt attacks Assange by saying things that are blatantly untrue. {{archive|lpejK}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 24, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt accuses WikiLeaks of [[libel]] for stating [[facts]]. {{archive|ggwzR}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 24, 2017
</td>
<td>
WikiLeaks Task Force digs up Kurt's Amazon reviews of his own books. {{archive|1i6Z0}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
July 24, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt decides to accuse everyone who's calling him out on his BS of being "[[Seth Rich|Russian Trolls]]". {{archive|VYBJV}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>




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</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
August 20, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt libels [[Donald J. Trump]] again. {{archive|oAJNu}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
September 5, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt congratulates himself on using [[Scientology|junk science]] to correctly predict that an early-stage [[hurricane]] would [[Obvious|get worse]]. {{archive|o9a4w}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
September 5, 2017
</td>
<td>
An actual hurricane [[scientist]] calls out [[Sperg]]inwald on his [[bullshit]]. {{archive|Gj9vW}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
September 5, 2017
</td>
<td>
Kurt deletes his [[climate change]] tweet after realizing that it was utterly retarded. {{archive|fMDTw}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
February 23, 2018
</td>
<td>
Kurt whines about his oven-bait ancestors. {{archive|wukkq}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>


<tr>
<td>
February 24, 2018
</td>
<td>
Kurt reveals that he has a shitty [[lawyer]] who doesn't understand [[law]] at all. {{archive|frRqs}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
March 1, 2018
</td>
<td>
Kurt libels President [[Donald J. Trump]] and Hope Hicks. {{archive|uZkYz}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>




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</td>
</td>
</tr>
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<tr>
<td>
April 3, 2018
</td>
<td>
Kurt accuses Kyle Kashuv of [[trolling]] him. {{archive|2W8fX}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>




<tr>
<td>
April 3, 2018
</td>
<td>
Kurt finds out that Vanity Fair has fired his arse. {{archive|Kv5SB}}
</td>
<td>
Twitter
</td>
</tr>




</table>
</table>

Latest revision as of 17:13, 4 April 2018

Date Event Location

March 3, 1926

Heinz Felix Eichenwald, Kurt's father, is born. (archive)

July 20, 1930

Elva Catherine McDonald, Kurt's mum, is born. (archive)

June 28, 1961

Kurt Alexander Eichenwald is born.

New York

January 11, 1987

Kurt writes BRAVING EPILEPSY'S STORM.

The New York Times

July 15, 1990

Kurt marries Dr. Theresa Felicia Pearse in an attempt to cover up his homosexuality. (archive)

Brooklyn Botanic Garden

July 1, 1995

Serpent on the Rock, Kurt's first book, is released. (archive)

A Book Store Near You

September 5, 2000

The Informant: A True Story, Kurt's second book, is released. (archive)

A Book Store Near You

December 13, 2000

"Andrew McDonald" gives The Informant a 5-star review.

Amazon

August 4, 2003

MexicoFriends.com is registered. (archive)

Teh Internets

July 19, 2004

JustinsFriends.com is registered. (archive)

Teh Internets

March 14, 2005

Conspiracy of Fools: A True Story, Kurt's third book, is released. (archive)

A Book Store Near You

March 27, 2005

"Andrew McDonald" gives Conspiracy of Fools a 5-star review.

Amazon

June 8, 2005

Kurt sends $2000 to Justin Berry.

Dallas, Texas

June 9, 2005

Justin Berry finds a 14-year-old boy named Taylor and makes a child porn video for Kurt.

Roanoke, Virginia

June 19, 2005

Justin Berry begs his friend Timothy Richards to help fix the broken HTML on his site.

June 19, 2005

Justin Berry officially recruits Timothy Richards to help with his gay porn site. (archive)

June 23, 2005

Kurt accesses the child porn video featuring Taylor a total of 9 times. CP Count: 9

JustinsFriends

June 24, 2005

Kurt accesses the child porn video featuring Taylor a total of 32 times. CP Count: 41

JustinsFriends

June 25, 2005

Kurt's dick is raw. No fapping today.

Dallas, Texas

June 26, 2005

Kurt accesses the child porn video featuring Taylor a total of 6 times. CP Count: 47

JustinsFriends

June 27, 2005

Kurt accesses the child porn video featuring Taylor a total of 3 times. CP Count: 50

JustinsFriends

June 28, 2005

Kurt's dickskin blisters off. No fapping today.

Dallas, Texas

June 29, 2005

Kurt accesses the child porn video featuring Taylor a total of 6 times. CP Count: 56

JustinsFriends

June 30, 2005

Kurt meets Justin at LAX but soon realizes that he's too old for his tastes. (archive)

Los Angeles, California

July 14, 2005

Kurt convinces Justin to become a snitch. (archive)

July 14, 2005

Kurt's admin account on Justin's site is deleted in a blatant attempt to hide evidence. (archive)

JustinsFriends

July 14, 2005

Justin Berry begins scrubbing his emails and computer files in a blatant attempt to hide evidence.

September 8, 2005

JustinsFriends.net is registered. (archive)

Teh Internets

September 14, 2005

Justin Berry is given immunity by the DOJ.

September 23, 2005

Timothy Richards is arrested. (archive)

December 19, 2005

Kurt posts Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World.

The New York Times

December 19, 2005

Kurt posts REPORTER'S ESSAY: Making a Connection With Justin.

The New York Times

January 3, 2006

KurtEichenwald.com is registered. (archive)

Teh Internets

July 14, 2006

Kurt posts Congress Identifies Pornography Purchasers.

The New York Times

July 16, 2006

Kurt posts Virginia Man Gets 150-Year Term in Child Pornography Case.

The New York Times

August 20, 2006

Kurt posts With Child Sex Sites on the Run, Nearly Nude Photos Hit the Web.

The New York Times

August 21, 2006

Kurt posts On the Web, Pedophiles Extend Their Reach.

The New York Times

September 21, 2006

Kurt posts Effort to Combat Child Pornography Would Close Web Sites.

The New York Times

January 3, 2007

FreeCasey.com is registered. (archive)

Teh Internets

March 9, 2007

Kurt goes on a tl;dr whining spree on a journalism forum. (archive)

Poynter

August 11, 2009

The Movie Tie-in Edition of The Informant! is released. (archive)

A Book Store Near You

September 18, 2009

The Informant! starring fucking Matt Damon is released in theatres. (archive)

A Theatre Near You

November 13, 2010

Kurt joins Twitter. (archive)

Twitter

September 8, 2011

Heinz Felix Eichenwald dies. (archive)

September 6, 2012

Oldest known snapshot of KurtEichenwald.com (archive)

KurtEichenwald.com

September 10, 2012

Kurt posts The Deafness Before the Storm to advertise his next dumb book.

The New York Times

September 11, 2012

500 Days: Secrets and Lies in the Terror Wars, Kurt's fourth book, is released. (archive)

A Book Store Near You

January 3, 2013

Kurt posts Let’s Repeal the Second Amendment.

Vanity Fair

July 28, 2015

Kurt cries about the Holocaust. (archive)

Twitter

December 30, 2015

Kurt threatens to shoot people who use their Second Amendment rights. (archive)

Twitter

July 24, 2016

Elva Catherine Eichenwald dies. (archive)

August 31, 2016

Kurt prays to Yahweh that Trump will get Alzheimers and die. (archive)

Twitter

September 11, 2016

Kurt speculates that Trump has Syphilis. (archive)

Twitter

September 13, 2016

Kurt libels Donald J. Trump. (archive)

Twitter

September 21, 2016

Kurt feels that he needs a gun to shoot Trump supporters who disagree with him. (archive)

Twitter

September 28, 2016

Kurt claims he'll be posting a huge Trump bombshell the next day. OP fails to deliver. (archive)

Twitter

September 29, 2016

Kurt posts How Donald Trump’s Company Violated the United States Embargo Against Cuba, the supposed "bombshell".

Newsweek

October 10, 2016

Sputnik posts Hillary Confidante: Benghazi was "Preventable," State Department Negligent.

Sputnik

November 6, 2016

Kurt tweets #FireComey. (archive)

Twitter

November 7, 2016

Kurt posts FBI Director James Comey Is Unfit for Public Service.

Newsweek

November 12, 2016

Kurt lies about Trump supporters rioting and murdering people. (archive)

Twitter

December 8, 2016

Kurt adds Crystal Wing Synchro Dragon to his Yu-Gi-Oh! wishlist. (archive)

Amazon

December 11, 2016

John Rayne Rivello joins Twitter as jew_goldstein. (archive)

Twitter

December 12, 2016

Kurt adds 8 moar cards to his Yu-Gi-Oh! wishlist. (archive)

Amazon

December 15, 2016

Kurt goes on Tucker Carlson's show and owns himself hard.

Faux News

December 15, 2016

Kurt begins an autistic tweetstorm following his brutal raping at the hands of Tucker Carlson. (archive)

Twitter

December 15, 2016

jew_goldstein sends Kurt the seizure .gif (archive)

Twitter

December 15, 2016

Kurt claims that he was retarded enough to actually click the seizure .gif

Twitter

December 15, 2016

Kurt's "wife" informs Mr. Goldstein that he caused a seizure. (archive)

Twitter

December 16, 2016

Kurt adds Eternal Soul to his Yu-Gi-Oh! wishlist. (archive)

Amazon

March 18, 2017

Kurt calls Richard Spencer gay. (archive)

Twitter

May 9, 2017

Donald Trump fires James Comey, just like Kurt wanted.

May 9, 2017

Kurt whines about Trump firing Comey. (archive)

Twitter

March 18, 2017

Kurt goes on an unhinged tweetstorm accusing Richard Spencer of being in cahoots with jew_goldstein. (archive)

Twitter

June 8, 2017

Kurt says that he and his kids just wanted to show his wife tentacle porn. (archive)

Twitter

June 15, 2017

Kurt tells Stephen King that he can sue Trump for blocking him on Twatter. (archive)

Twitter

June 21, 2017

Kurt threatens to dox anyone who "trolls" him. (archive)

Twitter

June 21, 2017

Julian Assange links to an article about Newsweek settling with Sputnik for Kurt's libel against them. (archive)

Twitter

June 21, 2017

Kurt attacks Assange by saying things that are blatantly untrue. (archive)

Twitter

July 24, 2017

Kurt accuses WikiLeaks of libel for stating facts. (archive)

Twitter

July 24, 2017

WikiLeaks Task Force digs up Kurt's Amazon reviews of his own books. (archive)

Twitter

July 24, 2017

Kurt decides to accuse everyone who's calling him out on his BS of being "Russian Trolls". (archive)

Twitter

July 25, 2017

Timothy Richards posts To whom it may concern:

FreeCasey.com

August 20, 2017

Kurt libels Donald J. Trump again. (archive)

Twitter

September 5, 2017

Kurt congratulates himself on using junk science to correctly predict that an early-stage hurricane would get worse. (archive)

Twitter

September 5, 2017

An actual hurricane scientist calls out Sperginwald on his bullshit. (archive)

Twitter

September 5, 2017

Kurt deletes his climate change tweet after realizing that it was utterly retarded. (archive)

Twitter

February 23, 2018

Kurt whines about his oven-bait ancestors. (archive)

Twitter

February 24, 2018

Kurt reveals that he has a shitty lawyer who doesn't understand law at all. (archive)

Twitter

March 1, 2018

Kurt libels President Donald J. Trump and Hope Hicks. (archive)

Twitter

March 17, 2018

Kurt once again libels President Donald J. Trump following Andrew McCabe's firing. (archive)

Twitter

March 23, 2018

Kurt doxes Oregon lawmaker Bill Post. (archive)

Twitter

March 23, 2018

Kurt makes a creepy comment about Bill Post's son. (archive)

Twitter

March 23, 2018

Kurt removes the dox tweet but now resorts to blackmail threats. (archive)

Twitter

March 29, 2018

Kurt acts like a little pussybitch after seeing Rosanne Barr baking Jews. (archive)

Twitter

April 3, 2018

Kurt accuses Kyle Kashuv of trolling him. (archive)

Twitter

April 3, 2018

Kurt finds out that Vanity Fair has fired his arse. (archive)

Twitter

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