User:Jakery

Every Thursday I pay a woman $500 to beat the shit out of me.

Things I endorse

1. Getting blown by a wolf
2. Marble Madness
3. Hooking Michael J. Fox up to a generator during peak demand
4. Forcing all Asians to reveal their Special Abilities and superpowers
5. Erections lasting longer than four hours
6. Hyperinflation
7. Telling a woman, "I'm gonna wear your cunt as a hat."
8. Unlicensed Tengen cartridges for NES
9. Rush Limbaugh going deaf
10. American beer that isn't total shit; usually known as "Craft Beer"
11. White Russians
12. Phil Hendrie
13. IRL Trolling
14. Legalizing Marijuana
15. Harry Potter fan fiction where Harry gets violated by Hagrid
16. Harry Potter fan fiction where Harry gets violated by Viktor Krum
17. Adding peanut butter to everything
18. Putting shit on a piece of paper and mailing it to college in lieu of an admissions essay
19. Mutual rape
20. Not paying for Adobe Photoshop
21. Activision diluting and wrecking every video game franchise it touches
22. Shampooing your crotch
23. Every second of Borderlands prior to the absolute bullshit ending
24. Explosive Diarrhea
25. Pegging
26. Teledildonics
27. Seth MacFarlane getting horse-fucked, a la Mr. Hands
28. Michael Moore trolling Fred Phelps with a bus of fags
29. Original Playstation
30. Not buying bottled water, ever
31. Portal 1 and 2
32. 16-bit, tile-based video games
33. All of the "you deserved it" posts on Fuck My Life
34. Bitch Cake with Butt Frosting
35. FIFA 12
36. Using deli ham as currency
37. Local pizza chains; Pizza Hut can suck my dick
38. Pedestrian Bowling
39. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
40. Milk Duds
41. Ving Rhames' head as a subliminal advertisement for Milk Duds
42. Cars that drive themselves
43. Every phrase delivered by R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket
44. Punching your girlfriend's butthole while going down on her for the first time. Women love that shit.
45. Having sex with a virgin to cure your AIDS (note: only works in Africa)
46. Feeding oxygen into your urethra, thus inflating your scrotum so kids will think it's a balloon
47. The elusive Cyclops Tit
48. Power pouches
49. Railroads
50. Wearing nothing from the waist down while working as a bank teller
51. Braided pubes
52. Going ass-to-ass with a stale baguette

Famous People Named 'Jackson'

	Profession	Significance
Michael	Pederast	Voluntarily changes skin color
Jesse	Reverend	Has love child; failed to be president
Janet	Performing Artist	Shocked the world when she flashed her mutilated tit
Andrew	President	Told the Indians where they could stick their peace offering
Bo	Athlete	Wrecked his body by playing two sports. Fucking asshole, he deserved it
Phil	NBA Coach	Exiled from Chicago; Coached Kobe "Hot Beef Injection" Bryant
Stonewall	War criminal	Shot United States soldiers
Reggie	Athlete	First negro ever to play baseball
Samuel L	Motherfucker	Vocally sodomizes the world
Peter	Hairy idiot	Makes movies that never end
Miss	Babymamma	Knocked up by Andre 3000
Shoeless Joe	Baseball Permab&	Respawned in corn field as Ray Liotta
O'Shea	Ice cube	Star of "Barbershop 2: Back in Business"