User:Tucksman/Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Amnesia: The Dark Descent (also known as "how to shit yourself and not get any sleep ever") is the scariest fucking game ever goddamn made. Amnesia has been known to turn incredibly manly men like Gaston into quivering autistic man children. Amnesia fucks your mom at night and you're too scared to do shit about it. Amnesia is the reason you lock your door at night. Amnesia is fear.

Made last Thursday by some indie developer nobody gives a shit about, Amnesia is /v/'s latest romantic interest when it comes to horror/survival games, namely for the fact that it works both as a game and as constipation relief.

In Amnesia, you play as a Victorian-era professionally insane archaeologist-turned-housekeeper named Daniel. Surprisingly, Daniel has amnesia throughout the game and you must work to restore your memory and a bunch of other bullshit that no one cares about. There's some naked fag named Alexander or some shit, but you're not playing this game for a story, so don't even pretend you are you hipster faggot.

/v/ completely flipped a shit when Yahtzee actually said something fucking positive for a change and admitted that even he could not resist releasing his flabby asscheeks whenever a monster came on screen. Ever since then, retarded fuckwits on Jewtube have filmed themselves pathetically trying to make it 5 seconds into the game without screaming their tits off like fucking pussies. YOU TOO could be this cool and get hundreds of views (and people laughing at you) in just 5 EASY STEPS!

1. Pirate Amnesia

2. Record yourself playing for the first time. Make sure your friends are listening so they can laugh at how fucking pathetic you are.

3. Stop recording. Edit out the screams you make that sound like fifty asian women getting anally tentacle raped.

4. Upload it to Jewtube with some bullshit description like "lol I was just acting like I was scared"

5. Congratulations! You're now a laughing stock on the internet. Like anything changed, faggot.

Amnesia Fans

Oh God, make it stop.

For some unexplainable reason, Amnesia has a legion of retarded, fanart-drawing weeaboo faggots relentlessly obsessed with pairing Daniel and Alexander because the idea that a haunted, old, naked figment of someone's imagination should be paired with an insane, delirious psychopath with darkness issues is somehow KAWAII AS FUCK. There's a billion shitty blogs on Tumblr dedicated to pants-on-head retarded OTP fanart and reciting old memes, so go choose your favorite one and kill braincells for a while.

Probably the most famous piece of media relating to Amnesia, however, is one of the aforementioned Jewtube videos where some faggot screams his dick off while spouting some incoherent shit that no one cares about. Also, one of his friends has a bag of Milky Ways. Awesome.