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| {{potential}}
| | #REDIRECT [[Internet police]] |
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| {{wikify}}
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| [[ANONYMOUS]] BE WARNED. | |
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| {{Elaw}}
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| Internet police | |
| is part of a series on
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| [[Internet Law]].
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| [With Liberty and Drama for All]
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| ==What are the internet police?==
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| '''Internet police''' are a self-inflated governing body heartset on making the [[Internets]] a [[Bad|good]], [[Dildo|moral]], [[Neocon|upstanding]], and unfortunately all too often [[Jew]]ish place. Fortunately, they are generally just causeheads with little power. The Internet Police is a branch of the [[Internet military]], and not to be confused with the [[Police brutality|IRL police]], whose contribution to society is broader and whose tactics include the random administering of a lot more [[Police brutality|beatings]] and [[Don%27t_taze_me_bro|tazings]].
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| ==Different forms==
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| The Internet Police is seen in two main forms:
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| 1. Soccer Moms: Self-descriptive title. Generally overbearing undersexed housewives with nothing better to do than see if little Timmy is "experimenting" with www.hotforhorses.com
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| 2.Institutional: As seen in public schools, universities, and literacy institutions across America. Strict, "CyberWatch" style cock-blocking of today's youth has increased teenage obesity 633% in recent years.*
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| ''* Medical experts attribute the sudden spike in [[teen]]age [[Fat|obesity]] to lack of adequate [[masturbation]] stimulus. Doctors felt since the flooding of video games into homes in the early 1990's, the only exercise performed by most teens was a little of the ol' 'squirt squirt.' We can all be thankful CyberPatrol software can alleviate the strict responsibilities of being a parent. Sorry kids -- go jerk off to your dad's porno mags.''
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| Contents
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| [hide]
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| 1 IRL Cops
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| 2 How to not get arrested by IRL cops
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| 3 IRL Internet Police!?
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| 4 IC3
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| 5 Gallery
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| 6 See also
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| IRL Cops
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| ==IRL cops==
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| IRL Cops generally hunt [[nigga]]s
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| Police are people who break the law while wearing a uniform. Sometimes they are in plain clothes and break the law in these. The police's best allies are other criminals, with which they have a natural affinity and mutual agreement to enable their preying on the normal, decent, law-abiding citizens. They also used to beat people up in meat wagons in Blackhill in the 1960's, and THOMAS MCGRAW, Glasgow's biggest criminal, is still in league with all the police got the [[Banned IRL|IRL banhammer]]. The duties of IRL police officers are manifold. They include:
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| Laughing at the public.
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| Laughing at and/or ignoring ethnic [[victim]]s of [[violence]].
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| Creating ethnic victims of violence.
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| Drawing their pay.
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| Nobly supporting the [[War on Drugs]] by occasionally locking up [[hippies]].
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| Kissing the ass of political leaders and affluent society.
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| Lying and being general assholes.
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| Keeping you down (in conjunction with [[the man]]).
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| Accompanying [[child welfare]] workers when they come to put your child in foster care.
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| [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-513875/Man-arrested-gunpoint-police-mistake-MP3-player-gun.html Mugging people at gunpoint for their iPods].
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| Although IRL cops once were funded by taxpayer dollars, as pointed out in Neal Stephenson's ''Snowcrash'' (one of his many novels that he published and then never finished), the functions of the government can fraction into city-states. This has not happened yet, except for the IRL police who are funded 100% by speeding tickets. Unfortunately, many people complain about the lack of police or the lack of prisons, but do nothing to help. Police need your money-that is why seven lane roads have speed limits of 25MPH and many highways have 55MPH when both should be in the triple digits-so please speed everywhere you can to help them out.
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| ==How to not get arrested by IRL cops==
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| [[Nazi|Anti-Jew police]], hard at work.
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| Be white
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| Don't fap in public
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| Don't [[Salvatore_Rivieri|go to the Lower Harbor District of Baltimore at all]]
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| Don't [[Echon|burn down churches]]
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| Don't [[ATHF|play with Lite Brites]]
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| ??????
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| PROFIT!!!!
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| [[Buttsecks|Have sex with a police officer]]
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| ==IRL Internet Police!?==
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| She knows what you can and can't do on the internets.
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| This man is a bounty hunter
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| According to [[Yahoo]] News, China has [http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070828/api_on_hi_te/china_web_police1 cartoon police officers that patrol illegal websites]. They 'patrol' the internets making sure [[chinks]] don't download [[porn]] or [[shitting dick nipples]]. Which is exactly why living in China sucks.
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| Eugene Kapersky of ghey Kapersky AV fame has called for internet police and passports. This is part of the sen. Rockefeller conspiracy IRL cancer killing the internets. CEO of a russian company so no one gives a fuck. [http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/10/16/kaspersky_rebukes_net_anonymity Proof]
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| [http://computer-forensic-technician.com Destroying your illusions]
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| IC3
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| The IC3 (aka Internet Crime Complaint Center) are the internet police branch of the FBI that helps crack down on 419 scams, credit card fraud, identity theft and auction fraud. Contrary to popular belief, they don't arrest people for calling you "fatty" on the internet.
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| Gallery
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| Comprehensive proof that the power of the internet police is [[Serious business|all too real]].
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| Your [[fapping]] days are over, sir.
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| See also
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| [[Argent009]] - Literally claimed [[List of sex moves|position]] a "Web Police" officer
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| [[Dangerdan]] - Moral cop, [[Aspierations|aspiring]] FBI agent
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| Internet Secret Police
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| [[CircaRigel]] - Internets Detective
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| [[thedramatube]] - Unknown
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| [[Sgt. Smith]] - Very [[Srsly]] Officer. Contacted every time you fuck with [[PixelBee]].
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| [[Irish282]] - Uses his badge to [[rape|impress]] preteen boys.
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| [[Mission: MySpace]]/[[Jude's Army]] with help from [[RebelChild]] - the failed [[MySpace|MySpazz]] version of the internet police.
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| Internet police is part of a series on [[Trolls]].
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| [[Category:Trolls]]
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