Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

StefanUrquelle1994: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>KevinClayJr
No edit summary
 
imported>KevinClayJr
No edit summary
 
(2 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown)
(No difference)

Latest revision as of 14:41, 2 October 2011

An LOL cow, upon reading of Kevin's claim not to be a stalker.
Kevin's vagina, which he keeps where his penis should be. Also doubles as his altar for worshiping Christ.

Kevin Clay Jr. (StefanUrquelle1994) is a a racist, homophobic Internet forum nuisance who thinks that God wants him to fill actresses Hayden Penetierre, Leelee Sobieski, and Megan Fox with his Holy Spirit. He is also a registered sex offender who molests young children.

Many people believe that these actresses should take out restraining orders against him. To date, none have done so, primarily because none of them know he exists and never will. Some have come to realize that this is entirely an act. Kevin's a homosexual, and being afraid of his own feelings for men, he overcompensates by claiming to lust after famous women, while also constantly condemning homosexuality. In reality, he wants to find a guy with a 12-inch cock and take it up the ass until he cries (as opposed to every other day, when he cries due to his own feelings of inadequacy, or when the truth hits him that he's a poncey git and no one is falling for his shyte).

He will eventually die alone.

Kevin's mom.
Kevin's fantasy. NOTE: Actual length much smaller in real life.

This mental-asylum candidate claims his real name is Chris Kevin. He uses multiple IDs, including KevinClayJr, Jonesy29, Jonesy39 and, most recently StefanUrquelle1994, and frequently stages fake arguments with those other personae for the sake of performance art. Kevin pretends to be a crazy, dangerous dickwad, and enjoys when people point it out. He purposely says in 4,000 words what the sane and coherent can say in under a hundred. In the real world, his words and actions would result in the issuance of restraining orders, for fear that he might hurt someone. He also pretends to have an "administrator friend" named Dinobleue, who is entirely fictitious. When other group members' focus begins to shift away from him, he occasionally posts a plea to this non-existent individual, asking him/her to ban whichever individuals he has chosen to portray as his current enemies. No one is fooled by this desperate cry for help.

(Kevin and Jonesy enjoying Kevin's sister.)


"Kevin as Jonesy, praying to his god."

Kevin's motif is to pretend to be outraged and angry about everything, purposely use poor grammar and spelling when doing so, and make up facts to support whatever lunatic agenda he is currently purporting. He also purposely chooses the wrong words, creating humorous sentences that don't make much sense. When confronted, Kevin never backs down or admits he has done this; instead, he continues to maintain that what he has said is the truth, even though every other person around him knows that he is talking out his ass.


Who is Kevin Clay Jr.?

What Kevin wishes to do to Hayden.

Kevin Clay Jr. is a 35-year-old male mental patient who asks people on the global internets if he is destined to marry Leelee Sobieski, Hayden Penetierre, and Megan Fox. He pretends to be a Christian fundamentalist who thinks that gays and lesbians practice witchcraft and will take over the world, and thus often makes homophobic and decidedly un-Christian statements for the sole purpose of riling people up. IMDb legend has it that Kevin sleeps with a knife strapped to his ankle to ward off nymphomaniacs and faggots.


His "Hollywood name" is Chris Kevin and he talks about himself in the third person ("Hey.!!!!!!!!!! Chris Kevin is here...!!!!!!!") His goal is to be less like Steve Urkel and more like Stefan Urquelle so that he can lose his virginity. He describes himself as a "Street Fighter" and claims that he has "a 24-inch bicep muscle Jean-Claude Van Damme style for you with an American Flag on it." Others describe him as a psychotic stalker and a closeted homosexual.

Kevin's night-time job

Kevin's hobbies

Selected quotes

   
 
Some day, I will consume her supple flesh, and her soul will be mine for all eternity.
 

 
 

—Kevin, referring to his friend mkoden

   
 
I'm married pal to Hayden Panettiere. Leelee, Megan and older females were crushes of mine and now I consider them friends. I am not a womanizer and I have alway's been faithful to one woman and that is Hayden Panettiere. I am not perverted either and I don't masturbate over celebrities. You are bearing false witness, slandering, and talebearing against a christian. God is going to whip the mess out of you that is not only lying but gossipping, and character assassination of someone's reputation.
 

 
 

—Kevin about being a ladies' man

   
 
You better do your research because the Illuminati exists. They are trying to force the gay agenda on everybody including, children in the schools. All of this is part of the One World Government. Stop listening to Jehovah's Witnesses you are being lied to and made a fool out of. The evidence is on Youtube.com research secret societies and sermons from G. Craige Lewis, Sandy "Sandman" Armstrong, and Professor Griff. In 2012 they are predicting that the cyberchip implant will occur. In some states they are already implanting the chips into people. Revelation 14:13-18. And, he causes both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond to receive a mark.
 

 
 

—Kevin about the Illuminati

   
 
In my dream Hayden was suffering from a physical illness she kept secret and told me. I talked to her telling her that God is going to heal you. My words of hope and love touched her heart and she hugged me, and fell asleep holding me and I fell asleep holding her. This is also, a reminder of me and her under the marital covenant do you take this man and this woman to have and to hold, in sickness, and in health til death do you part? My response to Hayden is I do. Hayden listens and then responds and say's I do. My love for her is strong, and her love for me after knowing me if she freewilling desires me is strong as well.
 

 
 

—Kevin says I do to Hayden

   
 
Hayden Panettiere maybe biracial Caucasian Italian and African American. I have never seen any green color in her eyes. Hayden's eyes are greenish hazel blue and green mixed if you look closely at her eyes. They are really beautiful I love her eyes she is my starlette BananaSplit babe. Look at me I'm gushinggggggg.!!!
 

 
 

—Kevin's starlette BananaSplit babe

   
 
I am interested in Hayden Panettiere the only girl for me and my destined love [...] Hayden and Kevin forever together in Holy Matrimony.!!!
 

 
 

—Kevin and Hayden in Holy Matrimony

   
 
Hayden is a mature, educated female individual she knows a snake a mile away. I would know a bad seed female a mile away. I can pick up on evil when The Holy Spirit warns me of evil approaching. You don't control Hayden's life you need to leave her alone and stay your sick behind away from her. I don't care if you are irritated you are not Hayden's man. She has a man and his name is Chris Kevin.
 

 
 

—Kevin is filled with the Holy Spirit

   
 
Things are not going calm as we live in a chaotic and soon to be lawless society and system. The gay agenda is having its way and they are trying to teach children to accept and live an abomination in the eyes of God. They are putting this evil mind-controlling lifestyle in library books to brainwash our children.
 

 
 

—Kevin about the gay agenda

   
 
I met Megan Denise Fox on Facebook and I know that because she surprisingly caught my messages on the social networking site. I was talking to her and didn't realize it was the real Meggie Fox online. I said, Hiiiiiiiiii!!! Megan Fox it is nice to meet you. Megan this is Kevin aka Chris Kevin again my bday is later this month after Hayden Panettiere whom you've met at a Golden Globe Awards gathering with Vanessa Hudgens and then boyfriend Zac Efron.
 

 
 

—Kevin about meeting Maggie Fox

   
 
KevinandJoanna Kevin L. Clay, Jr.

@ @JPanettierex @SalvaGonzalezz, Hello, Mr. SalvaGonzalez Are you really Hayden's Uncle something is fishy here. Anyway tell Hayden it's Kev
 


 
 

—Kevin talking to Hayden's uncle

See also

External links