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Funko Pop!: Difference between revisions

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[[File:paul-scardino-holding-up-his-funko-pop-collection.png|right|thumb|You too could hoard a collection of worthless pop-culture trinkets!]]
[[File:paul-scardino-holding-up-his-funko-pop-collection.png|right|thumb|You too could hoard a collection of worthless pop culture tokens!]]
[[File:Funko Pops.jpg|right|thumb|These things are already nightmare full that when you look up creepy looking pics you just see a Funko Pop.]]
[[File:Funko Pops.jpg|right|thumb|These things are already nightmare full that when you look up creepy looking pics you just see a Funko Pop.]]
{{factalert|<big>IT'S BEANIE BABIES 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!</big> Be sure to laugh at all the fags collecting this crap before the bubble bursts and the funkos aren't worth anything}}


Funko Pops are the parasitic plastic lifeforms that take the form of [[Chinese|poorly manufactured]] unoriginal renditions of [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|characters from popular culture]] that commonly overpopulate store shelves for extortionate prices. Their longevity is in part due to the mutual assistance of [[you|fat neckbeard consumers]] who keep on buying them due to their [[Capitalism|"novelty"]] and [[Butt_plug|"perfect use for decorations"]] .
Can you think of anything more cringey than a bunch of grown-ass adults spending [[Unlimited_disposable_income|a ton of money]] on worthless shit like the dumbasses they are? Stamps, coins, comic books, or [[furfag|furry porn]] to a lesser extent? Now imagine how much of a loser you have to be to have an obsession like that over a bunch of [[Chinese|mass-produced garbage made in a third-world sweatshop]]. Inconceivable, right? ''Wrong.''
 
==Collecting==
 
Want to buy some Funko Pops? Here's a guide on how you can buy one, and a subsequent guide on how to [[an hero]] after the realization that you got ripped off.


1.Find a store, they're bound to have some Funko Pops somewhere (look in the section with all the kids toys)
Enter '''Funko Pop Vinyls''', a series of poorly-made and mediocre plastic renditions of pop culture icons that overcrowd store shelves at exorbitant prices. They are styled very similarly to [[Japanese]] [[Animu#Chibi|chibis]], with the exception that the majority of these things use the exact same basic template with a different coat of lead paint smeared over it, two large black vacant eyes locked in an unending stare and the distinct lack of a mouth. It's the [[irl]] version of [[Rule 34]]: if it exists, there's a dreadful funko pop vinyl version of it. We haven't seen a garbage franchise leech off the popularity of other franchises like this since Tiger Electronics' LCD handhelds, but even then they were cheaper and you could actually do something with them. You can't even take Funkos out of the box; heaven forbid you squander their 'resale value.'


2.Grab one but be extra careful not to damage the box, or all imagined value will be lost.
Whether they are being collected as a part of a hobby or [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|a long-term financial investment]], these things are made of [[fail]] and [[AIDS]] and the only way we will be rid of them is if everyone rightly laughs at these 'collectors' for their [[faggotry]].  They're also an inferior version of [[Weaboo|Nendoroids]] lol.


3.[[no|Buy it]].
==Collecting Nothing but Dust==
[[File:Venom-funkopops.png|400px|thumb|right|Wow, Venom is so epic and edgy! Mom, can I have $30?]]
Despite being a toy marketed for [[kids|dumb little children]], their longevity can be attributed in no small part to their [[Capitalism|appeal]] to fat [[manchildren]] and [[You|neckbeard]] [[MovieBob|consoomers]] who continue to buy them because of their attachment to a particular brand they obsess over. There are two primary markets for this plastic crap: The first is the one we've already covered, just a funko pop version of a pop culture icon, because it hits the manchild in their [[nostalgia]] feels so hard they scream like an [[autist]] and open their wallet. For others it's the novelty of having two franchises bashed together like rocks into an OC so abominable that even [[furries]] would find it difficult to [[fap]] to. One of the worst offenders in the ''Funk-OC Mashup Madness'' is Venom, with [[Over_9000|over a gorillion]] fucking mash-ups with other equally [[cancer|cancerous]] IPs.


4. Fuck off
Funko Pops are so widespread it is easy for one to start collecting them. They are often sold in supermarkets, dollar stores, pawnbrokers, market stalls and even in [[Anthrocon|Funkopop conventions.]] Collectors would often claim that they can be bought or resold at an inflated prices, or [[lies|their availability and affordability are net positives compared to other collectables]], while neglecting to mention that the only other people who want them are other sad collectors who need to get a life.
 
5. Now you have some Funko Pops, good job wasting your Sheckels motherfucker.
 
==[[losers|Collectors]] ==
 
People have a ton of money, while a lot of people will spend money on worthless shit, the dumbasses they are. These people have a different way to spend their money, spend it on Fucko Poops too be a waste to are society. People have entire collections of Fucko Poops, hell they might have millions of them. and show them off for everyone to troll them over to other losers who to spend their time collecting plastic crap instead of doing there [[shit|job]].


{{videoframe|Manchildren|background-color:#fff;|font-weight:bold
{{videoframe|Manchildren|background-color:#fff;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>Jpi2tXoCKmo</youtube>
|<youtube>Jpi2tXoCKmo</youtube>
|<youtube> OwybAms1a9c</youtube>
|<youtube>OwybAms1a9c</youtube>
|}}
|}}
Many of these collectors buy a shit-load of Fucko Poops from buying everything in the store, as nobody but man childs want this piece of worthless crap. Yes people will spend that much jew-gold on Fucko Poops. There is an entire community of man children buying Fucko Poops. People spend they're time buying more Fucko Poops to look like the bigger loser.


==How to troll collectors==
==How to troll collectors==
 
*Say that these Fucko Poops are ugly and anyone that buys them is too
*Say that these Fucko Poops are ugly and anyone that buys them is too.
*Tell them that a 30-year-old man shouldnt be playing with toys
 
*Tell them they seen as losers by the everyone else
*Tell them that a 30-year-old man should be playing with toys.
*Tell them there's better plastic crap based on their favorite [[shit no one cares about|characters]]
 
*Open one of their mint in box Funko Poops
*Say that Funko Pops are a rip-off of [[weeaboo|Nendroid]].
 
*Tell them they seen as losers by the everyone else.
 
*Tell them there's better plastic crap based on their favorite [[shit no one cares about|characters]].
 
*Open a mint in box Funko Poop
 
*Open another
*Open another
*Say they're losing jew gold for buying them
*Say they're losing jew gold for buying them
 
*Tell them that Funko Pops are cheaply made and mass-produced, meaning [[fact|they're worthless]]
*Tell them that Funko Pops are cheaply made and mass-produced, meaning [[fact|they're worthless]].
*Break some of their plastic crap
 
*Say that people that buy them, could do anything and it would still be better than buying these pieces of plastic crap
*Break some of their plastic crap.
*Say that [[truth|Fucko Poops are just a fad, and in a few years people will laugh at them for having all that plastic crap]]
 
*Say that people that buy them, could do anything and it would still be better than buying these pieces of plastic crap.
 
*Say that [[truth|Fucko Poops are just a fad, and in a few years people will laugh at them for having all that plastic crap]].


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
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File:Funko Pops Suck.jpg| Fucko Poops suck
File:Funko Pops Suck.jpg| Fucko Poops suck
File:Funko Pop Meme.png
File:Funko Pop Meme.png
File:Funko Pop Rule 34.jpg| You can barely find any because even the people at Rule 34 find these pieces crap to ugly
File:Funko Pop Rule 34.jpg|Even the people at Rule 34 find these pieces crap too ugly to fap to.
</gallery>|
</gallery>|
<gallery>
<gallery>
Line 71: Line 48:


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Amiibo]]
*[[Amiibo]]
*[[Hello Kitty]]
*[[Hello Kitty]]
*[[Family Guy]]
*[[Family Guy]]
*[[White People]]
*[[White People]]
{{BNA}}

Latest revision as of 22:05, 23 February 2022

You too could hoard a collection of worthless pop-culture trinkets!
These things are already nightmare full that when you look up creepy looking pics you just see a Funko Pop.
FACT ALERT:
IT'S BEANIE BABIES 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! Be sure to laugh at all the fags collecting this crap before the bubble bursts and the funkos aren't worth anything

Can you think of anything more cringey than a bunch of grown-ass adults spending a ton of money on worthless shit like the dumbasses they are? Stamps, coins, comic books, or furry porn to a lesser extent? Now imagine how much of a loser you have to be to have an obsession like that over a bunch of mass-produced garbage made in a third-world sweatshop. Inconceivable, right? Wrong.

Enter Funko Pop Vinyls, a series of poorly-made and mediocre plastic renditions of pop culture icons that overcrowd store shelves at exorbitant prices. They are styled very similarly to Japanese chibis, with the exception that the majority of these things use the exact same basic template with a different coat of lead paint smeared over it, two large black vacant eyes locked in an unending stare and the distinct lack of a mouth. It's the irl version of Rule 34: if it exists, there's a dreadful funko pop vinyl version of it. We haven't seen a garbage franchise leech off the popularity of other franchises like this since Tiger Electronics' LCD handhelds, but even then they were cheaper and you could actually do something with them. You can't even take Funkos out of the box; heaven forbid you squander their 'resale value.'

Whether they are being collected as a part of a hobby or a long-term financial investment, these things are made of fail and AIDS and the only way we will be rid of them is if everyone rightly laughs at these 'collectors' for their faggotry. They're also an inferior version of Nendoroids lol.

Collecting Nothing but Dust

Wow, Venom is so epic and edgy! Mom, can I have $30?

Despite being a toy marketed for dumb little children, their longevity can be attributed in no small part to their appeal to fat manchildren and neckbeard consoomers who continue to buy them because of their attachment to a particular brand they obsess over. There are two primary markets for this plastic crap: The first is the one we've already covered, just a funko pop version of a pop culture icon, because it hits the manchild in their nostalgia feels so hard they scream like an autist and open their wallet. For others it's the novelty of having two franchises bashed together like rocks into an OC so abominable that even furries would find it difficult to fap to. One of the worst offenders in the Funk-OC Mashup Madness is Venom, with over a gorillion fucking mash-ups with other equally cancerous IPs.

Funko Pops are so widespread it is easy for one to start collecting them. They are often sold in supermarkets, dollar stores, pawnbrokers, market stalls and even in Funkopop conventions. Collectors would often claim that they can be bought or resold at an inflated prices, or their availability and affordability are net positives compared to other collectables, while neglecting to mention that the only other people who want them are other sad collectors who need to get a life.

How to troll collectors

  • Say that these Fucko Poops are ugly and anyone that buys them is too
  • Tell them that a 30-year-old man shouldnt be playing with toys
  • Tell them they seen as losers by the everyone else
  • Tell them there's better plastic crap based on their favorite characters
  • Open one of their mint in box Funko Poops
  • Open another
  • Say they're losing jew gold for buying them
  • Tell them that Funko Pops are cheaply made and mass-produced, meaning they're worthless
  • Break some of their plastic crap
  • Say that people that buy them, could do anything and it would still be better than buying these pieces of plastic crap
  • Say that Fucko Poops are just a fad, and in a few years people will laugh at them for having all that plastic crap

Gallery

Collection of soy About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also