Oppression Hierarchy

Let's face it, people are oppressed. Horribly oppressed. In fact, if you're not a White male living in the Western World, then you're the most oppressed person in the history of FOREVER. But where along that line do you fall? Yes, you're a HORRIBLY OPPRESSED person who needs the GOOD White people to protect you from the EVIL White people, but how much help do you need? Well, this Oppression Hierarchy aims to clearly explain just WHO is more oppressed than you are; if you're placed above someone, then you need to Check Your Privilege, but if you're below someone, then you can play the oppression card to utterly and completely protect yourself from any and all kind of criticism. How handy is that?

0% Oppressed

White Males

If you're a White male, you need to Check Your Privilege EVERY SINGLE DAY, end of story. Fortunately, a White male's daily Privilege checking can be waived for that day if they can do any number of things, such as:

• rescue, defend, protect, or otherwise aid a marginalized person from other white males
• having white guilt
• publicly showing one's intense white guiltness by being a Nu-male

The jury is still out on whether being a Homosexual White Male changes your oppression rating (see Milo Yiannopoulos). Likewise with Jews; I mean, sure there was the Holocaust and all, but JEEZ it all happened over 70 years ago... will you people just finally get over it already??

Homosexuals

Ever since gay marriage was legalized in the US, that's it, gay people are perfectly equal with everyone else, so it's a nonissue now. Gay people are NOT oppressed whatsoever and... that's it.

10% Oppressed

Fat People

Fat shaming needs to stop. Eating too much is a disease! You wouldn't blame an alcoholic for drinking too much, would you? Besides, genetics is the reason why fat people are so fat, and, again, you can't blame people for their genes. So please leave all fat people, including their XL pepperoni pizza, their 12-piece bucket of KFC, their six double-bacon cheeseburgers, their XL large tub of french fries, their three-liter bottle of DIET Faygo, their three bags of Lay's, their chocolate cake, and their slice of lettuce alone!

Latinos/Hispanics

Still technically White people, but they don't speak American, so people still shit on them. They're forced to take the jobs that no one wants, like picking strawberries at $2/hour, because people still like cheap strawberries. Of course, no one wants to accept the fact that they're still here in the US illegally... because people still like cheap strawberries.

100% Oppressed

Asian People

It's OK if Asians do whatever they want, so long as they do it over THERE, away from the rest of us. Whitewashing is also bad, so White people will fight for all Asian people, whether they actually want it or not. But most importantly, Asians are simply "honorary White people", and therefore need to Check Their Privilage just the same. Yes, Chinese people were forced to work on the Transcontinental Railroad, in slave-like conditions. Yes, Japanese people were rounded up and placed into "internment camps". Yes, the Black people set fire to Koreatown during the 1992 LA Riots and the LAPD didn't do anything to stop it. But this all happened to white people too, so OBVIOUSLY Asian people aren't AS oppressed as Black people.

Black People

100% of ALL black people have Slaves as their ancestors, and what is happening to them is worse than anything that has ever happened to them ever, INCLUDING slavery. Being shot because a black person resisted arrest? Worse. Being imprisoned because the justice system is biased against a black person's inherent desire to steal? Worse. Not being allowed to speak at a show that black people weren't even invited to and that they forced their way into? WORSE WORSE WORSE. Therefore, #BlackLivesMatter.

Muslims

The Religion of Peace is unfairly treated in Western society, all on account of a few bad apples. Consider that the Oklahoma City Bombing and all those School Shootings were all done by White people, and yet we're not building a wall to keep White people out! In fact, that might be a good idea. Anyways, the Muslims are really OK people and are totally unfairly oppressed, and people should open their hearts to Wahhabism and Sharia Law just to prove how unoppressive Western society can be!

1000% Oppressed

Transgenders

Gender is a fake construct, but it's possible to be born the wrong gender? Apparently the XX and XY (and RARELY occurring XXY, XXXY, XXXXX, etc) genes don't count for anything, but that's OK. What matters is that Transgendered people are the new kind of sexuality-based group that is being oppressed, now that homosexuals aren't oppressed anymore, and now everyone should LISTEN and BELIEVE when their issues are not being treated seriously.

10000% Oppressed

White Females

White Females are clearly the most oppressed group of people ever in the history of everything. More oppressed then Black people, Asians, Muslim Refugees, and Transgendered people COMBINED. Just take a look at how the latest Ghostbusters movie is being treated! This is the partiarchy's fault! Sure, White Women are the second LEAST oppressed group in Western Society (through arguably tied with White Males as the LEAST oppressed group), but that doesn't matter. White women are specifically targeted by ugly, dickless White Males who've never even had sex before... and where they get all that hate against White women is completely unknown.

????% Oppressed

We're not sure where these groups place in the above, but it's clear they're a group that society is oppressing these groups of people, and it needs to stop.

Transfat

People who identify as fat, but aren't.

Transrace

People who identify as a certain race, but were born another race.