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Drunk dial: Difference between revisions
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==Drunk Posting== | ==Drunk Posting== | ||
The [[OTI]] version of drunk dialing. [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Æ]] has determined the best way to update any online encyclopedia is drinking copious amounts of alcohol and then proclaiming WHOOO LOOK HOW DRUNK ANS FUCK I AM | The [[OTI]] version of drunk dialing. [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Æ]] has determined the best way to update any online encyclopedia is drinking copious amounts of alcohol, preferably after a bong hit, and then proclaiming WHOOO LOOK HOW DRUNK ANS FUCK I AM | ||
This post will normally include what the subject haz ingested to make such great lulz. | This post will normally include what the subject haz ingested to make such great lulz. | ||
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[[at least 100|At least 100%]] of dumbass behavior is the direct result of alcohol. Many a man has, thinking himself suave under the influence of a bottle of Ten High, woken up the next day by cops due to harassment claims of calling some random bitch hundreds of times, slurring drunken nothings into her voice mailbox. The link between alcohol and [[an hero|an heroes]] is currently still [[some argue|up for debate]]. | [[at least 100|At least 100%]] of dumbass behavior is the direct result of alcohol. Many a man has, thinking himself suave under the influence of a bottle of Ten High, woken up the next day by cops due to harassment claims of calling some random bitch hundreds of times, slurring drunken nothings into her voice mailbox. The link between alcohol and [[an hero|an heroes]] is currently still [[some argue|up for debate]]. | ||
Like a lion on the Serengeti, it is imperative to separate the weakest from the herd. Typical signals of wanting to be brutally raped | Like a lion on the Serengeti, it is imperative to separate the weakest from the herd. Typical signals of wanting to be brutally raped while unconscious include signs of a drinking problem, slurred speech, vomiting on the dance floor, pissed pants, and 'presenting,' face down, ass up. Once this final signal is communicated to the adjacent males, it is common for any [[not gay|non-gay]] takers to have a go at her, providing that they share at least one hole with another person in line. | ||
The consensus of experts says that the best use for a girl is the multitude of holes that she has. Disagreement arises on which is the best hole. Some say that it's the pussy; others say it's the anus. Due to recent advancements in lubrication technology, KY has developed a lube to utilize the eye socket as a fuckhole. | The consensus of experts says that the best use for a girl is the multitude of holes that she has. Disagreement arises on which is the best hole. Some say that it's the pussy; others say it's the anus. Due to recent advancements in lubrication technology, KY has developed a lube to utilize the eye socket as a fuckhole. | ||
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==Other drunk- things to do== | ==Other drunk- things to do== | ||
* Drunk dilating | * Drunk dilating | ||
* Drunk [[SMS]] | * Drunk [[SMS]] | ||
* [[MySpace]] | * [[MySpace]] | ||
* [[Drunk|Throw Up]] | |||
[[Category: Drama-generating techniques]] | [[Category: Drama-generating techniques]] | ||
Latest revision as of 04:54, 13 March 2023
The act of virtually interacting with other entities while under the influence of alcohol. IRL behavior that gets you in trouble with currents, ex's, bosses and parents.
Common enough that the Virginmobile has a subscription service to disable your phone during your drinking hours.
- "Oh noes, last night I drunk dialed my ex and told her I love her. Then my father and I told him he failed to raise me right. Then my boss and I admitted our project was behind schedule."
While drunk people are fun to be around IRL, their novelty wears off online or on the phone in no more than 100 seconds.
Friends don't let friends drink and dial for the lulz.
Drunk Posting
The OTI version of drunk dialing. Æ has determined the best way to update any online encyclopedia is drinking copious amounts of alcohol, preferably after a bong hit, and then proclaiming WHOOO LOOK HOW DRUNK ANS FUCK I AM
This post will normally include what the subject haz ingested to make such great lulz.
Drinking and Girls
While drinking makes both men and women horny, the chances of getting laid increase to 9,000+ if the girl's drunk and you're sober. Also, drinking makes you an idiot, and who hasn't had a mistake in picking out some ugly fat bitch to bone once in a while?
At least 100% of dumbass behavior is the direct result of alcohol. Many a man has, thinking himself suave under the influence of a bottle of Ten High, woken up the next day by cops due to harassment claims of calling some random bitch hundreds of times, slurring drunken nothings into her voice mailbox. The link between alcohol and an heroes is currently still up for debate.
Like a lion on the Serengeti, it is imperative to separate the weakest from the herd. Typical signals of wanting to be brutally raped while unconscious include signs of a drinking problem, slurred speech, vomiting on the dance floor, pissed pants, and 'presenting,' face down, ass up. Once this final signal is communicated to the adjacent males, it is common for any non-gay takers to have a go at her, providing that they share at least one hole with another person in line.
The consensus of experts says that the best use for a girl is the multitude of holes that she has. Disagreement arises on which is the best hole. Some say that it's the pussy; others say it's the anus. Due to recent advancements in lubrication technology, KY has developed a lube to utilize the eye socket as a fuckhole.
Serious Motherfucking Business: This shit can get you killed.
Now that everyone and their kids has caller ID, which was a real fucking buzzkill when it came online and common in the early 90's, drunk dialing can be oh so serious business. Some guy who writes for ED once drunk dialed repeatedly the house of some dude he didn't even know in the middle of the night and asked for his wife because every time the guy answered the phone he unleashed a volley of furious rebukes like "motherfucker," so of course, the guy kept calling for the lulz just to hear the guy curse like a drunken sailor who has just been caught buggering a boy. The next day, the "victim" showed up at the guy's house with a shotgun and called from his pickup truck, which was frighteningly positioned so that both doors of the house were in view, and called his mom to say that he was going to shoot her son. Angry shotgun dude left after the police were called, the pussy.
Drunk Dial: The Video
This is actually the official video for "Wrong Number" by The Cure. If you've ever taken hallucinogens, you may really want to avoid this video.
Fast forward to 4:50 for a typical drunk dial wrong number call.
Gallery
