User:TucoTheKiller/MAG

M.A.G , also known as "gOd DAMN BLUE doT FAG PICK mE THE FucK Up !1!!1!!!!!!11" is a first person shooter game exlusive for the Ps3. Released by Zipper Interactive on January 26,2010

M.A.G was supposed to be the game where those who wanted to get away from the 13 year-old boys could have fun shooting the shit out of eachother,but no, one very sad day a 13yr old got on and spread the word to his LoliPorn fapping friends and it became hell! It takes like a THouSand bullets to bring a man down, and if they're wearing heavy armor HOLY FUCK they become the sibling of Rambo&Jesus. Be sure to prepare yourself to go up against Heavy Armor, and rape. And the game really fawking suxxors my dick like a vietnamese woman back in nam motherfuckers.

The game has a "Story" to it, "But 1t's an onLinE game, why doesit Hav A Stor-" STFU AssHole! In the year 2thouasand WhO Gives a FUCK, three Private Military Faction decided to all have coffee and donuts on the same day, but one of the PMC's, VALOR a.k.a the "AmeriCunts" had already eaten all the donuts like the FatAss Texan's that they aLL are. Once the Raven faction arived, they all proceeded to beat the living shit out of the AmeriCunts till they all shit themselves like Call of Duty Faggs when they found out a new FapPack was being realeased. But like all war games, there has to be a Ak-47 wielding Terrorist, whitch brings our third PMC group S.V.E.R into the picture. To end the fight, a S.V.E.R toop decided to MahJihad the donut shop, because of this, the three groups decided to go out on a never ending war for tEH Lulz.

FACTIONS

VALOR AmeriCunt "No Bitch,you ain't Cool"

RAVEN: The high tech basards from Germany, that one place noone cares about with their Queen, and the smelly French people. Raven's faction has all the shiny new guns, sleek looking armor and vehicles, somewhat good players and... and... oh did I forget to mention that they're a European faction and they control all of Central America! Since Raven is all futuristic looking, everyone that for some reason chooses the faction thinks they have fucking Jedi Powers and fucking Halo jump themselves out of danger, little do they know that the game in their console isn't "Halo" nor even fails close to it. If you decide to join Raven be ready for the battle of your MOTHERFUCKINGLIFE !!!!11!1!!!11!! OMG SEIZURE!!! For half your squad will rage quit the game because they have been assigned to battle S.V.E.R

VALOR: The AmeriCunts of the game, VALOR operatives are mostly or ALL THE TIME just 13 year-boys who have just left Call of Duty: Nigger Ops and try out a REAL FPS shooter that requires real teamwork and strategy. But Noooooo, Valor Cunts all think they are all Rambo with there HeavyArmor and green camo. What makes VALOR awesome sauce is that fact that it gives you a perfectly excusable reason to bitch and moan about your Team never winning a God-damn match "Whaaaaaaat, Americans not winning a match!?!?!" yes faggots, no more America Fuck Yea! for you bitches!

VALOR is known for having the "Worst" players (TRUE) the hardest maps to defend (Not true since the latest update solved the bitching problem about the maps) and a bunch of retarded wannabe Rednecks with a Shotgun yellin "Nigger get offA ma lawn!" If you decide to join VALOR be sure to get ready for the battle of your MOTHERFUCKING LIFE!!!!1 For your entire fucking sqaud WILL rage quit the game because you have been assigned to play against S.V.E.R!

The only thing Valor could ever accomplish

Besides bending over and saying "Fuck ME NOW", VALOR is also good at laying on there backs dead for the whole game. It's not my fault all the newcomers from Cock of Duty decided to choose em' for there Green Camo (Because everybody knows green camouflage gives you the power of Jesus!!!!!1) Redneck Hick music,and their "America,FUCK YEA" mentality (Bomb a country for teh lulz)

S.V.E.R : a.k.a Al-Quida a.k.a Al-Jihad a.k.a Allah Boom a.k.a Ownage. S.V.E.R or Seryi Volk Executive Response are for some reason the ones that are always kicking the ass of the AmriCunts and Raven What makes them so good? The fact that they can actually work togther as a god damn team... I know right? Terrorists working together, seems un-likley, but yea, they plant bombs everywhere and make things goWTF BOOM! Many players that are NOT in S.V.E.R always bitch and complain that S.V.E.R has ALL the good maps, ALL the good weapons, and ALL the pwnage. Well, S.V.E.R's guns are all duck taped so I guess that means it was made in china, RAVEN's god damn maps are the ones that are un fucking conquerable, but since they are fucking terrorists,they can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it because Bush said so. And terrorist are the ones who commit 99.99% of EPIC LULZ e.g 9/11 whitch is why we want them to win. If you decide to choose S.V.E.R as your faction in M.A.G, prepare yourself to kick back chillax as you somehow win a goddamn match in less than 5 minutes!

Terrorist with Duel Guns...Not Good

GAME MODES

Suppression is M.A.G's take on Team Deathmatch. The goal of TDM is to rush your over to the opposing teams side and red line (Spawn camp) them till they all rage quit. The fastest way to defeat the opposing team is by simply spam throw poison gas & flash grenades into their spawn, and watch thew Lulz go down. For extra lulz, do what everyone did to you in Cock of Duty execivley every time you got pwned it teh ass, Tea Bag dem mofuckas! The maps are pretty big for a "small" map, and its pretty easy and fun to have an all out street war.

Sabotage is the game mode in whitch two teams of 32 players Defend and/or Attack 2 main points, and if the two points (A & B) are captured, they must attack/defend point C. The game is very simple to win, if you dont have any n00bs in your game, and defending the game is even easier if the other team is a bunch of n00bs. The best way to tell if the other team (or yours) has n00bs, is to press the pause button, look at their rank, and see if they have a RES kit (tool used to heal downed players) , or to see if they have any points. An other way to determine whether it's a n00b is to see if you(defending) or they are getting the redlined raped from start to finish.

Aquisition is M.A.G's take on east L.A where everyone can be a nigga and jack a car, get shot at, shoot other niggas and die in one sitting. The attacking team is suppossed to take down the frontol defence systems (Bunkers, Anti Air) via planting a bomb, or calling in a Bunker Buster strike to piss off the defending team. After doing so, you must destroy all roadblocks, and there Mortor Battery to prevent the defending team from blowing you the fuck away. As the defeding team, simple, Just defend yo shit boy! If you lose 2 vehicles before the 20 minute mark time is up you lose, if you're attacking and you Jack dem cars like a true nigga before the time limit you win.

Domination the game that everyone seems to love. 256 players on one map, whenever Call of Duty fags hear this they bitch about this, they Jizz themselves in amazement but will continue to say CockofDuty is better. Domination consists of four four areas where one platoon per zone attacking pr defending will be. The attackers must capture both burn off towers simaltanously to unlock the cool off towers, once the cool off towers are taken, it opens up the defending teams letters, once the letter are opend up, the attacking team must capture, and hold them to inflict damage to the defending teams fuel core, causing it to go Boom. The more letters being held from all four sides, the faster damage is inflicted. The defeding side is of course supposed to prevent this. The best way to troll players (BOTH when attacking and defending) is when you are the OIC (Officer in Command) DONT use any of your commands and everyone will try to boot you, team kill you and etc...