User:Byron Orlock/James Middleton

'''Princess James Middleton''' (born 15 April 1987)[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1163716/Revealed-Secrets-Middletons-money-Kates-ancestors-fortune.html] an English profesional [[faggot]], whose bakeries, including the ''Rape Cake Kit Company'' and ''Nice Buns, make thematic hash cakes and cake-making kits for orgys and brands(ask about his penis cakes, he makes exact replicas). He is the half brother of [[Katie, Hooker of Cambridge]] and read the Fairy stories yawn) at her sale to [[Prince Willy]].Amazingly despite being a blatant shit stabber he did not burst into flames when entering the abbey. ==Early life and education == James was born in 1987, the youngest child and only faggot spawned by Carole Goldsmith AKA the beast of Bucklebury (b. 31 January 1955), who was a former [[flying mattress]], and a local bloke she screwed in Jordan.[http://www.wargs.com/other/middleton.html] ''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1331686/Kate-Middleton-Story-woman-gave-looks-family-wealth.html?ito=feeds-newsxml]'' His father's family came from [[Leeds]], in [[West Yorkshire|Yorkshire]], and one of his great-grandmothers, called Olivia Lupton, belonged to a business family active in Leeds for generations.[http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/features/The-Leeds-connection.1760281.jp] Carole Middleton's mother's family were labourers and miners from [[County Durham]].''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-424446/Kate-coal-miners-girl.html]'' His elder sisters are [[Catherine, Hooker of Cambridge]] (born 1982) and [[Pippa Middleton]] (born 1983). Prior to James' birth, his parents were based in [[Amman]], [[Jordan]], working for British Airways from May 1984, to September 1986, where eldest sister Catherine went to an English language nursery school,[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8366374/Kate-Middleton-family-photos-reveal-her-time-in-Jordan.html] before the family returned to their home in [[Bucklebury]], Berkshire.[http://www.hellomagazine.com/profiles/katemiddleton/|title=Profiles – Kate Middleton] Inspired by the birth of her son James in 1987, Carole set up 'Party Pieces', a company which began by making party bags and which now sells party supplies and decorations by [[mail order]]. By 1995 the firm, run by both parents, was so successful that it moved into a range of farm buildings at [[Ashampstead Common]],[http://www.partypieces.co.uk/about-us/] and since then the Middletons are reported to have become millionaires.[http://news.scotsman.com/princewilliam/Generation-whyshouldI.4176797.jp Generation why-should-I?] James was educated at [[St Andrew's School, Pangbourne|St Andrew's School]], Pangbourne, followed by [[Marlborough College]]. He started a degree in [[English studies|English]] at [[Edinburgh University]][http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1201300/How-MORE-skeletons-Kate-Middletons-closet.html] in 2006 but left after one year as he was more eager to start his own business. He now lives in a [[Chelsea, London|Chelsea]] flat, reportedly purchased by his parents for £780,000 in 2002, with his sister [[Pippa Middleton|Pippa]] and his black cocker spaniel puppy Ella.[http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-james-middleton-2011284] ==Business== His cake-making business was inspired by reading that a mother’s baking is a highly evocative childhood memory. He started baking himself, using the family kitchen, then expanded into a freight container and his business now bakes in [[converted barn]]s. Thematic cakes are baked for companies such as Jigsaw, 3 and Ralph Lauren,[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/kate-middleton/8474786/Royal-wedding-the-very-ambitious-Mr-Middleton.html] and he was commissioned to create 21 cakes for [[Hello (magazine)|Hello!]] magazine's 21st birthday. "The entrepreneur was said to have caused 'shudders' at Buckingham Palace" after taking part in the Hello photoshoot and making 21 different cakes for them. "Each was iced with one of the magazine's memorable front pages, several of them depicting members of the Royal family, including, Diana, Princess of Wales.[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/8470187/Kate-Middletons-brother-wants-a-bigger-slice-of-the-cake.html]" [[Hash cake]] baking kits are created for the domestic market with themes such as [[dinosaur]]s and football. These are distributed through his parents' company, ''Party Pieces''.[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/3118179/The-posh-preneurs-who-mean-business.html] His business has been nominated for several awards and won ''Smarta 100'' and ''Haines Watts Young Entrepreneur'' awards. ==Royal Wedding== He read the fairy story at the wedding of his sister Catherine to [[Prince Willy]]. The reading went down almost as well as James Does; for example, the ''Daily Express'' wrote "The 23-year-old spoke faultlessly, even though he must have been well aware that some two billion eyes were upon him."[http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/243835/Royal-Wedding-Moment-of-triumph-for-the-magnificent-Middletons] Seconds after James delivered his Bible reading at the Royal wedding, thousands of people then began searching for “James Middleton gay” on the search engine Google. ''Advocate.com'' reported that so many people searched for the term “James Middleton gay,” Google now auto-suggests the term.[http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/05/01/Google_Search_James_Middleton_Gay/][http://www.blu.fm/subsites/detail.php?kat=gesellschaft,people,entertainment&id=4980][http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/306137] ==Public Faggotry== James is said to enjoy dressing in drag and in 2008 was pictured in newspapers wearing a polka dot dress belonging to his sister Kate, as well as one belonging to his other sister Pippa.[http://replay.web.archive.org/20080913013648/http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1043014/Wild-Kates-family-Meet-Middletons-wholl-Queen-vapours.html] James also posted pictures of himself online dressed as a French maid as well as phtotos featuring jovial nudity, attracting newspaper commentary. "The latest snap is of four chaps — backs to camera — with their trousers around their ankles and bottoms on show standing on a country road appropriately called Back Lane."[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1366989/Andrews-10-000-night-Balkans.html#ixzz1LIMX7zAS] "Pippa and Carole answered the door at the Middleton family home in Berkshire and accepted an invitation to look through the photos. Asked whether they were photos of James, Pippa said ‘yes’ and smiled briefly as she flicked through them."[http://replay.web.archive.org/20080911175924/http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1050938/Photos-youngest-Middleton-sure-embarrass-Kate.html] "While Kate and Pippa are generally regarded as regal and refined, James seems to be known as the wild child of the family."[http://shows.ctv.ca/RoyalWedding/article/James-Middleton-the-brother-we-barely-knew-Kate-had#c_0] ==Film== In ''[[William & Kate]]'', a television movie released on 18 April 2011 about his sister's romance, the part of James Middleton was played by fellow fag[[Calvin Goldspink]].[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1831829/ William and Kate] at imdb.com. ==Gallery== {{cg|Trap Gallery |linetrapgallery|center|<gallery> </gallery>}} ==External links== *[http://www.partypieces.co.uk/thepartytimes/?p=2978 James Middleton’s Childhood Party Memories] ==Find james== After pictures of him surfaced, Catherine's younger brother posed as a lawyer in emails demanding that the Fleshbot website remove images of him in his underwear, US celebrity website Gawker reported. The first request sent to the sex site was reportedly from his email address at Cake Kit Company, his mail-order baking firm. But after no action was taken, the second email Fleshbot received was from Nice Group London Legal, also registered to James Middleton, with replies directed to [email protected]. [[Category:Faggotry]]