Scott Stapp

BAWWWWWW...

Don't fear the mullet

Gone Britney.

Scott Stapp, born Anthony Scott Flippen, now legally Anthony Scott Stapp, is lead singer of Christian rock band Creed (a band originally formed for the lulz but actually taken seriously by retarded Christfags), and lolcow. What moar could be expected of a man whose chosen initials are A.S.S.?

Creed

Creed's original name was Naked Toddler. No fucking joke.

For nine long years, Creed created stunning music with profound lyrics that everyone loved. Around 2002, however, the lulz began and haven't stopped yet.

Creed at their best performing live

Sued for shit show

In possibly the first lawlsuit ever filed against a band for being total shit, four Creed fans launched a class action suit against the band in Cook County Circuit Court. The suit alleged that singer Scott Stapp was so “intoxicated and/or medicated” at Creed’s December 29th Chicago concert “that he was unable to sing the lyrics of a single Creed song,” and that he "left the stage on several occasions during songs for long periods of time, rolled around on the floor of the stage in apparent pain or distress and [finally] appeared to pass out." Each plaintiff was seeking a refund of their $56.75 ticket price plus parking expenses.

	“	“As soon as Stapp STAGGERED on to stage it was obvious it was going to be bad. He about fell down numerous times. Sat down through the majority of the show. Layed flat on his back and could hardly get back up. When he did get up he slammed his mic and took out his ear plugs and pack.”	„
	—A disappointed fan, on The Creed Pit forums

	“	My wife just called from Chicago and said scott was so drunk he fell and left the stage several times.	„
	—rocketman123, making sure everyone knew he wasn't at a Creed show

The band went on to apologize.

	“	We apologize if you don't feel that the show was up to the very high standards set by our previous shows in Chicago. ... For now, we hope that you can take some solace in the fact that you definitely experienced the most unique of all Creed shows.	„
	—Creed, redefining unique

Stapp later told the Orlando Sentinel that he hadn't passed out; he'd made "a symbolic, personal gesture" by dropping to the floor and playing unconscious. Many EDitors make this symbolic, personal gesture four to five times per week. He later admitted, "I don't even recall doing that show."

Breakup

By the middle of 2004, Creed broke up.

	“	It was always Scott who had the problem.	„
	—Mark Tremonti, 1/4 of the problem known as Creed

	“	Of course they're bitter...	„
	—Scott Stapp, on his former bandmates

Solo Career

MOAR

Stapp cleaned up long enough to get engaged and record his solo debut, The Great Divide. But last fall, when it came time to promote the album, he began to self-destruct all over again.

Casino Cinema

In December 2005, Stapp taped an episode of Casino Cinema, a celebrity poker show on the cable channel Spike TV. He was obviously intoxicated - and it is clear that the pills and liquor are having quite the party in ASS's bloodstream. During the episode, Stapp slurs his words, curses incessantly, claims Dave Grohl has "a little cock," demonstrates a bizarre series of kung-fu moves and demands a kiss from co-host Beth Ostrosky (Howard Stern's girlfriend), later telling her, "My son thinks babies come from my sac" and "I make more money than Howard." Steve Schirripa weighs in on Carson Daly.

Carson: We were talking about your show. And this guy from creed, scott stapp, the cinema –

Steve: You know, I’m not — you probably know, I’m not really a creed guy, you know. I don’t even know who the hell the guy was. I’m a Sinatra guy. And he came on. You know, we have the show. It’s a wrap-around show with Beth. She’s my co-host. We’ve been doing it for a little while. It’s on Tuesday nights at 9:00 on Spike. We have really good guests. We have Rob Schneider and a whole bunch of different people. Scott came in last week to promote his solo album, and I was sitting in the makeup trailer. I mean, he walked in, "Mr. Soprano, I’ll kick your [Expletive]."

Carson: That’s how he walked in, really?

Steve: I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Carson: No. Not in this trailer.

Steve: No.

[ Applause ]

Steve: I swear, that’s the first words out of his mouth. And he was very rude to Beth. He said, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"

Carson: She has a boyfriend. You have to be an idiot. Don’t do that.

Steve: He was like the Morrison thing. On my best day I’ve never been that hammered. I was kind of jealous, to be honest.

Carson: Yeah. What are you drinking?

Steve: Whatever you’re on. Give me some. Share.

Carson: Was it tough to shape the show?

Steve: He was just like crazy. He was doing kung fu.

Carson: I saw that.

Steve: Then he was channeling different people. Like every question – so I’m asking him, I’m going, so you’re on the road.

What do you do,[Expletive] five broads at a time? Yeah. You have a bird dog? Do they go and get the girls?

Carson: A bird dog? Takes out the girl?

Steve: "Yeah, I got one of those."

Carson: He does? I thought he was a christian artist.

Steve: You saw the tape.

Carson: Let’s take a look at another one we have from this debacle of performance.

[ Applause ]

Carson: Wow.

The tape you've been waiting for.

High, like, making me jealous high.

2009 Reunion

In 2009, some prayers were answered - Scott divided by zero, causing the Alter Bridge to collapse into a reunion tour.

	“	Reunited, and it feels so good, Reunited and it's understood, There's one perfect fit and he's just so full of shit, we are so excited and we're reunited AT LAST.	„
	—Peaches & Herb, from Hell

Great Success

Scott Stapp punked

Read it. Srsly. It's so lulzy that it deserves it's own article.

Sex Tape

Praise the Lord and pass the groupies.

Taking it.

ASS had the good idea to share a quartet of strippers with white trash hero and musical plagiarist, Kid Rock. As if one bad idea weren't enough, a video camera was set to roll. Unfortunately for lulzophiles, his Jew has managed to squash any legitimate sales of said travesty.

Suicide Attempt

Prologue

Stapp, hailed as the most hated man in rock, long-ridiculed in the press for his Christian-tinged lyrics and Messianic stage persona, he had also alienated his bandmates with increasingly erratic behavior. While on tour, he'd been drinking heavily and had become addicted to Percocet. He'd also been taking Xanax and large doses of the anti-inflammatory steroid prednisone for throat problems. Once home, he quit all drugs, at which point, he says, like any rational human being, "I wanted to end my life."

Fail

To keep the pill gremlins at bay, he enlisted a bottle of Jack Daniel's, an MP5 SD3 and an MP5 K. Before he pulled the trigger, he looked up and saw a picture of his son, Jagger, the product of a troubled marriage. Jagger, then four, was staying with Stapp's mother at the time. "And in an instant," he says, "I just turned and shot the house up. And I just broke down. I was like, 'I was about to blow my head off. How low can I get?' " To answer this, he ran to Maui, where he became addicted to OxyContin and spent 18 hours a day reposting images of his deadly drywall shooting spree on /k/.

Feuds

311

	“	We did not intend to discuss this incident publicly, but since rumors are beginning to spread we'd like to set the record straight. On November 24th (Thanksgiving), 311 had the day off in Baltimore, Maryland. Chad Sexton, SA Martinez & P-Nut were relaxing in a hotel lounge with their wives and friends watching a basketball game on television. Scott Stapp entered the bar. He appeared intoxicated. He drank a shot at the bar and then threw his shot glass, smashing it on the bar. He was acting belligerent and got into an argument with patrons sitting at the bar. He then sat down next to SA and his wife. He made a disrespectful and crude remark to SA's wife. Chad and SA asked him to step away. He then sucker-punched Chad. Scott was looking for a fight - and that's what he got. A fight ensued. Soon the police arrived and everyone was restrained and questioned; and Scott was ultimately asked to leave the hotel.	„
	—311's lawyer

	“	Watch me now with a wicked and wild and I said, Sick sick bit got to have it, Like bustin' in on a session but you got to call it quits, Sick sick bit just can't quit, Fact that you don't even know makes it fully legit	„
	—311, lolwut??

Fred Durst

	“	I want to dedicate this next song to the lead singer of Creed.... That guy is an egomaniac. He's a fucking punk, and he's backstage right now acting like fucking Michael Jackson. Fuck that motherfucker, and fuck you too.... And if you want, there's going to be a booth with pillows and blankets for when Creed comes on.	„
	—Fred, totally pwning our hero

	“	What Fred didn't realize is that he was talking about himself. Look at the position he's in now: He's an asshole, he's burned a lot of bridges. Nobody likes him and you can't last too long in this business with that prima donna attitude. I mean, his guitarist left the band because Fred is such a cock. His day will come.	„
	—ASS, on Fred

Fred chats about ASS

WAY tl;dr response from ASS.

Dave Grohl

	“	He's got a little fucking cock. Hey, Dave Grohl, you've got a little dick.	„
	—Scott Stapp, musing on Foo Fighter penis

Dave's The Man Now Dog does "Arms Wide Open" cover.

DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING

Apparently, Scott's crack team of public image surgeons have been busy removing all video (and even transcripts) of his lulzy public appearances. The list of deleted items is as follows:

• Bill O'Reilly call-in - video andtranscript removed from Fox website, but supplied by PassionBreedsFollowers.com, who have received a copyright pass from Jesus.
• Bill Zwecker's article. from the Chicago Sun-Times, the first to report the lawlsuit, has mysteriously vanished.
• Some fans who attended the show wrote to MTV News' You Tell Us section, calling the performance everything from "horrible" to "the worst show I have ever seen,"; page has also done the Houdini.

WAT?

'WHY' are they holding hands through the interview?

Drunken rambling.

Pillhead logic.

Previous Video | Next Video

Moar fun

• Stapp was detained by Florida police in July 2002 and charged with reckless driving after his SUV ran off the road before swerving back into the proper lane. He was released from custody after posting $500.

• According to Rockdirt.com, his ex-wife was arrested for mashing a cell phone into his face.

It has a blog!

	“	...thank you for the gifts you shared with the world and the soundtrack your music is to so many lives. See you on Fox and Friends at 8am	„
	—Scott Stapp, on Michael Jackson, followed immediately by a shameless plug.

Extra-creepy quotes just for lulz

	“	She works out at the gym I trained at last year. She is a very, very beautiful woman. I would definitely be interested in dating her if she were available. She’s a very, very attractive woman. I hear we have similar backgrounds, too. I hear she comes from a real strong religious home. Aside from that, she’s tasty.	„
	—Scott Stapp, on Britney Spears

	“	I'm going to have some bookshelves that slide, and there'll be a secret room back there. My secret, no-one-knows about-it room where I can do all my weird, crazy stuff. You may have to pull a book to open it. I haven't decided yet.	„
	—Scott Stapp

WTF.

See Also

• Alcoholic
• Christian
• Music
• Kid Rock

External Links

• Official site
• Official YT channel
• Myspace page
• Passion Breeds Followers. eww.
• fanboi site
• fan forum
• Behind the Douchebag, a brilliant piece of work.
• MTV fluff piece - spot the lulz

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