David Kitchen

"“In the video she made no response to the camera or camera position while the defendant himself made regular gestures and movement towards the camera. It was clear he knew, she did not.""

	“	“Dave gets a message from his friend about a girl he's been seeing for a few weeks. Apparently the girl made out with a random guy at a club and one of her friends told the boyfriend (Dave's friend). Now the girl denies anything happens and the friend that originally told on her says she was mistaken and the kiss was just a peck on the cheek. Dave's friend talks to him for an hour and asks Dave to put some moves on her to find out if she is a cheater or not. Dave sends her an "I've had a crush on you for years." facebook message."	„

David Kitchen is not a real person, but an idea. The idea that bro code and the legal code may not always translate perfectly. This gay adventure started in a perfectly straight text message, where a man asked his bro if he could no homo flirt with his girl & see if she is a ho. Although a friend of his girlfriend's already witnessed her making out with another man, the cuck boyfriend clearly was not through here. The friend was totally cool if his boy dave fucked the woman he had previously considered marrying. This would have just been your average wing-man gone wrong story, had Dave been any less dedicated to thoroughly documenting this would be prison worthy sexual conquest on a now deleted Bodybuilding.com thread, although the "cliffs" are regularly reposted by "mirin brahs" who aspire to take bro code this seriously.

The "romancing"

It would have been one thing had this phd scholar of bro code spent at least an hour working on testing this modest maiden's fidelity, but it was broken in a few half assed facebook messages. These consisted of Dave informing her he wanted to meet up & that his favorite movie is human centipede. Perhaps chivalry's definition has changed much, but this did the trick and she even agreed to allow some random dude named tony to join them in an eiffel tower formation

YA BOY DAVE

The modest mistress proceeded to allow to hardly known gentlemen to "tagteam" her while making goofy faces for the camera. It can be argued that while David and his friend tony where balls deep, it is somewhat gay to have interacted to much together, but their balls never touched so don't be a pussy. After high fiving and making a big joke of the sex act, Dave proceeded to go for round two, equipping a Bert mask during the sex. When all the fun was over, Dave had to clear his foggy head from pre-workout and a post sex celebration with his completely heterosexual friend tony. He intended to first send the pictures of the conversation in an email to the friend that considered marrying the promiscuous woman in question. Instead of giving the evidence, he accidentally sent the sex tape. The friend in question never responded, leaving many to wonder if he actually expected his fiance to pass this test or if he fapped to the straight tape from his normal heterosexual request to his bro all night & forgot.

<video type="vimeo" id="22466130" width="450" height="337" desc="YA BOY DAVID" frame="true" position="center"/> That's right...Vimeo doesn't work here.... you can watch the eiffel tower party here http://vimeo.com/22466130

Dave prepares his kitchen

Apparently David forgot to study up on some conflicting laws of the UK regarding voyeurism and ended up getting sentenced to 10 months in prison, along with his tag team partner. This probably could have been avoided had they studied the lessons of Tiziana Cantone, consent to smash probably isn't enough when "you're recording this? Bravo!" David probably envisioned a news article about this incident to be titled;

"MAN SAVES BRO FROM GETTING ENGAGED TO A HO".

For a strange reason, they instead read "Pervert from Aintree jailed for secretly filming himself having sex with woman".

White protein sauces

1.http://vimeo.com/22466130

2.http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/pervert-aintree-jailed-secretly-filming-3331108

3.http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=137988613

4.http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=133668381&page=13

David Kitchen is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.