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The God Warrior: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:TheGodWarrior.jpg|thumb|right|More like hamburger warrior, [[amirite]]?]]
[[Image:TheGodWarrior.jpg|thumb|right|More like hamburger warrior, [[amirite]]?]]
<b>The God Warrior</b> (aka Marguerite "[[It's slowly coming this way!|Oh God, it's coming this way]]!" Perrin), is a [[Fat|plus-sized]] [[LoneWolf1984|batshit insane Christian]] psycho maniac who appeared on an episode of Faux reality TV show, Trading Spouses, back in 2005. During the episode, Marguerite switches homes with a family who are "New Age humanists", who have items such as "TAROT CORDS", "GARGILES" and other "DORKSIDED" objects around the house. Upon learning this, she begins acting out by throwing up, shouting erratically, praying, and being the typical [[inbred|Christian]] that she is, she attempts to convert the other family to Christianity. When the other father attempts to enlighten her on their views, she refuses to listen.
<b>The God Warrior</b> (aka Marguerite "[[It's slowly coming this way!|Oh God, it's coming this way]]!" Perrin), is a [[Fat|plus-sized]] [[LoneWolf1984|batshit insane Christian]] psycho-maniac with an Appalachian smile who appeared on an episode of Faux reality TV show, Trading Spouses, back in 2005. During the episode, Marguerite switches homes with a family who are "[[New_age|New Age humanists]]", who have items such as "TAROT CORDS", "GARGILES" and other "DORKSIDED" objects around the house. Upon learning this, she begins acting out by vomiting, shouting erratically, praying; and being the typical [[inbred|Christian]] that she is, she attempts to convert the other family to Christianity. When the other father attempts to enlighten her on their views, she refuses to listen.


Once returning home, Marguerite ([[Victim complex|having been traumatized by her entire ordeal]]) literally fucking implodes on her own family, tears up the prize money, rants about [[shit nobody cares about]] and unknowingly sets off a record amount of [[lulz]] both [[IRL]] and on [[the internets]]. Of course, being the greedy bitch that she is, she later accepts the prize money, despite having "GIVIN IT UP TO GOD" earlier in the program. Her excuse, that she would use it for a bypass surgery, was a lie as the money will be gone the next time she visits her local [[eating disorder|McDonald's drive-through]].
Once returning home, Marguerite ([[Victim complex|having been traumatized by her entire ordeal]]) literally fucking implodes on her own family, tears up the prize money, rants about [[shit nobody cares about]] and unknowingly sets off a record amount of [[lulz]] both [[IRL]] and on [[the internets]]. Of course, being the greedy bitch that she is, she later accepts the prize money, despite having "GIVIN IT UP TO GOD" earlier in the program. Her excuse, that she would use it for gastric bypass surgery, was a lie as the money will be gone the next time she visits her local [[eating disorder|McDonald's drive-through]].




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==Dead Daughter==
==Dead Daughter==
[[File:GawdWarriorDeadDaughter.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:GawdWarriorDeadDaughter.jpg|thumb|right]]
In September of 2007, Marguerite's righteous indignation was addressed when her decidedly un-God Warrior daughter Ashely was killed in a car accident. As she was a heathen, Ashley managed to squirt out a kid prior to her death. It is confirmed that Marguerite will use the tragedy to raise the child as a God Warrior, using [[Nikki Catsouras|vivid imagery]] the tragedy of her mothers death as motivation.
In September of 2007, Marguerite's righteous indignation was addressed when her decidedly un-God Warrior daughter Ashley was killed in a car accident. As she was a heathen, Ashley managed to squirt out a kid prior to her death. It is confirmed that Marguerite will use the tragedy to raise the child as a God Warrior, using vivid imagery the tragedy of her mother's death as motivation.





Latest revision as of 15:29, 10 August 2018

More like hamburger warrior, amirite?

The God Warrior (aka Marguerite "Oh God, it's coming this way!" Perrin), is a plus-sized batshit insane Christian psycho-maniac with an Appalachian smile who appeared on an episode of Faux reality TV show, Trading Spouses, back in 2005. During the episode, Marguerite switches homes with a family who are "New Age humanists", who have items such as "TAROT CORDS", "GARGILES" and other "DORKSIDED" objects around the house. Upon learning this, she begins acting out by vomiting, shouting erratically, praying; and being the typical Christian that she is, she attempts to convert the other family to Christianity. When the other father attempts to enlighten her on their views, she refuses to listen.

Once returning home, Marguerite (having been traumatized by her entire ordeal) literally fucking implodes on her own family, tears up the prize money, rants about shit nobody cares about and unknowingly sets off a record amount of lulz both IRL and on the internets. Of course, being the greedy bitch that she is, she later accepts the prize money, despite having "GIVIN IT UP TO GOD" earlier in the program. Her excuse, that she would use it for gastric bypass surgery, was a lie as the money will be gone the next time she visits her local McDonald's drive-through.


"IF YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS YOU CAN STAY, OTHERWISE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE"

Quotes of Wisdom

The Dorkside Chronicles

Perrin is known for some of these thought provoking quotes:

Videos

GODWARRIOR IS BOOMER?

She's not a Christian

ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
Crazy Parking Lot Lady VS The God Warrior

Commentary On The Warrior

 
 
"Haha stupid fuckin Christians. Their all fuckin retarted. Anybody who has an IQ above 130 is atheist. I have an IQ of 156 so burn you stupid fuck heads"
 

 

—wallstreetkiller1168, IQ of 156, still doesn't know that their is for possesion and They're is a contraction of 'they are'

Actually, bitches probably know about this one.
 
 
"What a fuckin porker."
 

 

—torypuck94

 
 
"GLUTTONY IS A SIN YOU FATTY! GOD WOULD NOT WANT YOU AS A WARRIOR YOU PIG!"
 

 

—xmyklxisxcoolx

 
 
"Yeah, Id like to back up in that ass."
 

 

—beforethebuzzer

 
 
"She can't tear apart that check, but if it was a bag of Doritos or a box of Oreos she would have those polished of in a matter of seconds."
 

 

—mediajnke1

 
 
"Someone married that thing?"
 

 

—Ochostinko857

 
 
"She probably lost her front teeth in battle."
 

 

—- A random guy

Dead Daughter

File:GawdWarriorDeadDaughter.jpg

In September of 2007, Marguerite's righteous indignation was addressed when her decidedly un-God Warrior daughter Ashley was killed in a car accident. As she was a heathen, Ashley managed to squirt out a kid prior to her death. It is confirmed that Marguerite will use the tragedy to raise the child as a God Warrior, using vivid imagery the tragedy of her mother's death as motivation.


Gallery

See Also