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the irony

Oh, the ironing

the irony of this guy blocking me for meatpuppetry, and having my unblock request declined by his fuck-buddy is not lost on me. -hipcrime 07:19, 8 June 2012 (EDT)

WP:IRC abuse from WMF community liaison Oliver Keyes

�01[20:13] <badmachine> hello
�01[20:13] <badmachine> i seem to be banned atm
�01[20:14] <badmachine> by a user who is sexually involved with the declining sysop
�01[20:14] <badmachine> what do i do
�01[20:14] <badmachine> imo, this is abuse by Okeyes (WMF)
�01[20:14] <badmachine> aka Ironholds
�03[20:14] * Tim1357 ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en-help
�02[20:14] * Tim1357 ([email protected]) Quit (Changing host�)
�03[20:14] * Tim1357 (~Adium@Wikipedia/Tim1357) has joined #wikipedia-en-help
[20:16] <+Dcoetzee> badmachine: Username please
�01[20:16] <badmachine> badmachine
�01[20:17] <badmachine> i wouldnt mind so much if i had done anything wrong
�01[20:18] <badmachine> ive read several interesting items on this guy
�01[20:18] <badmachine> i wont post them here
�01[20:18] <badmachine> but it seems that wmf has a potential problem
[20:18] <+Dcoetzee> You were blocked as a sock of Sparklerainbow87. There was consensus at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sockpuppet_investigations/Badmachine/Archive that the evidence establishes you are in fact a sock.
[20:19] <+Dcoetzee> He just did the block.
�01[20:19] <badmachine> the unblock req was declined by fluffernutter
�01[20:19] <badmachine> and the user who opened the spi said
�01[20:19] <badmachine> its on there somewhere, he said there wasnt enough evidence
�01[20:20] <badmachine> they are acquainted, ironholds and fluffernutter
�01[20:20] <badmachine> to put it mildly
[20:20] <+Dcoetzee> That's unimportant in this case. Uhaercny and deskana also thought you were a sock.
�01[20:20] <badmachine> uharcheny said there was not enouhg evidence
�01[20:20] <badmachine> its there on my page
�01[20:20] <badmachine> want the diff?
�01[20:20] <badmachine> i can find it
�01[20:21] <badmachine> ok, hang on
[20:21] <+Dcoetzee> In the 06 June nom his conclusion was "If not a sock, a meatpuppet"
�01[20:21] <badmachine> sigh
�01[20:21] <badmachine> ya, but later he said
�01[20:21] <badmachine> lemme find it
�01[20:21] <badmachine> ty Dcoetzee
�01[20:21] <badmachine>     As the user who originally filed the SPI, I also believe it was closed prematurely with a lack of evidence against Badmachine. Uhaercny (talk) 8:37 pm, 7 June 2012, last Thursday (3 days ago) (UTC−7)
�02[20:21] * +k (~Logan@wikimedia/Logan) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer�)
�01[20:22] <badmachine> thats the last thing uhaercny said
�01[20:22] <badmachine> on the seventh
�01[20:22] <badmachine> nobody else seems to want to listen Dcoetzee
�03[20:22] * Ironholds (~f@wikipedia/Ironholds) has joined #wikipedia-en-help
�03[20:22] * ChanServ sets mode: +v Ironholds
[20:22] <+Ironholds> badmachine, I'm not in any kind of relationship with the declining sysop. Shut your pie-hole.
�01[20:22] <badmachine> lol
[20:22] <+Ironholds> indeed, for the longest of times she wanted to break my neck
�01[20:23] <badmachine> what a thing for the community liaison to say
[20:23] <+Ironholds> I'm here in a personal role
�01[20:23] <badmachine> congrats
[20:23] <+Pine> badmachine you can appeal to BASC if you wish, if Dcoetzee doesn't agree with you. Ironholds, can you please be quiet so that you aren't accused of interfering? I think it would be wise.
�01[20:23] <badmachine> what is basg
[20:23] <+Pine> Ban Appeals Subcommittee
�01[20:23] <badmachine> ok
�01[20:23] <badmachine> i will shut my pie hole
[20:23] <+Pine> I am not here to defend you, just give you an option.
[20:24] <+Pine> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:BASC#BASC
�01[20:24] <badmachine> i know
�01[20:24] <badmachine> ok, lemme look
�01[20:24] <badmachine> ok, ty
[20:24] <+Pine> you're welcome.
�01[20:25] <badmachine> interesting
[20:25] <+Dcoetzee> badmachine: I don't think there's a COI, but if you're not in fact a sock and can offer evidence of that, that would motivate an unblock.
�01[20:26] <badmachine> how can i offer evidence that im NOT a sock
�01[20:26] <badmachine> how do you prove a negative
�01[20:26] <badmachine> and i just re-read what Pine said. ty for that... i thought it was directed at me
�01[20:26] <badmachine> i need new bifocals
�01[20:27] <badmachine> Dcoetzee: how can i prove it?
[20:27] <+Dcoetzee> Evidently the standing evidence is enough to consider you a sock/meatpuppet, so you would need more evidence to the contrary if you wish to overturn it. For example, if you could point at diffs of the two users that show very different behaviour.
[20:28] <+Dcoetzee> Or if you could point at diffs where you displayed an interest in subjects the other user didn't.
�01[20:28] <badmachine> ok, so look thru the diffs of the other user?
�01[20:28] <badmachine> omg
�01[20:28] <badmachine> i have like 4k edits
[20:28] <+Dcoetzee> Yup
�01[20:28] <badmachine> all over wikipedia
[20:28] <+Dcoetzee> My contribution surveyor may be helpful
�01[20:28] <badmachine> link plz?
�01[20:28] <badmachine> ty Dcoetzee
[20:28] <+Dcoetzee> http://toolserver.org/~dcoetzee/contributionsurveyor/
�01[20:28] <badmachine> ty. lots
�01[20:28] <badmachine> ok, brb
�01[20:29] <badmachine> it says copyvios
[20:29] <+Dcoetzee> That was original intention
�01[20:29] <badmachine> oic
�03[20:29] * +Ironholds (~f@wikipedia/Ironholds) has left #wikipedia-en-help
�01[20:29] <badmachine> ok, brb
�01[20:30] <badmachine> if i understand this tool correctly, i enter my own name in the toolserver field, then let it scan, then run the other users name thru?
�01[20:30] <badmachine> Dcoetzee
[20:31] <+Dcoetzee> Yup
�01[20:31] <badmachine> ok, ty
�03[20:31] * ABDUL (3a1b9652@gateway/web/freenode/ip.58.27.150.82) has joined #wikipedia-en-help
[20:31] <+Helpmebot> Hi ABDUL, welcome to #wikipedia-en-help, the help channel for the English Wikipedia! Type your question in the white area at the bottom of the screen and press Enter, and a helper should be around shortly to answer your questions. If your question is about a particular page please make sure your question includes the URL or name of the page in question.
[20:31] <+Ryan_Vesey> http://toolserver.org/~snottywong/cgi-bin/editorinteract.cgi?user1=Badmachine&user2=Sparklerainbow87&user3=&user4=&user5=&user6=&user7=&user8=&user9=&user10=&ns=none&startdate=&enddate=
�01[20:31] <badmachine> oic
[20:31] <+Ryan_Vesey> ^Could be useful
�01[20:31] <badmachine> ok, brb
�03[20:31] * ABDUL is now known as Guest4913
�01[20:31] <badmachine> wtf
[20:31] <+Ryan_Vesey> although, it only shows similarities
�01[20:32] <badmachine> idgi
�01[20:32] <badmachine> it shows we share an interest in my little pony and ani
�01[20:33] <badmachine> ok, so to prove that i am not a sock, i need to learn this tool, that returns results in an arcane way
�01[20:33] <badmachine> none of this makes any sense to the average joe
[20:34] <+Ryan_Vesey> I was just pointing you to a tool
�01[20:34] <badmachine> i mean
�01[20:34] <badmachine> ty for that
[20:34] <+Ryan_Vesey> I have no clue how you can prove that you are not a sock
�01[20:34] <badmachine> ok, Dcoetzee do you have any further advi ce?
�01[20:35] <badmachine> anyone?
[20:35] <+Pine> badmachine, BASC.
�01[20:35] <badmachine> im not sure what im seeing here
�01[20:35] <badmachine> ok basc.
�01[20:35] <badmachine> i will read it, i dont understand the significance of the tool
[20:35] <+Dcoetzee> badmachine: The only other advice I have is to please avoid accusing admins and stick to the facts of the case. I don't think abuse is happening here.
�01[20:35] <badmachine> i will not accuse any more. the facts speak for themselves.
[20:36] <+Dcoetzee> Okay great.
�01[20:36] <badmachine> ty guys.
[20:36] <+Pine> you're welcome, thank you for being civil here.
�01[20:36] <badmachine> one more question: is this list im posting to ...is this public?
�01[20:36] <badmachine> i need to know before posting to it
[20:36] <+Pine> This is not supposed to be publicly logged, so don't re-post.
�01[20:36] <badmachine> no, i wont
�01[20:36] <badmachine> i mean the mailing list
�01[20:36] <badmachine> is that public
[20:36] <+Pine> oh, BASC?
�01[20:37] <badmachine> yes
[20:37] <Guest4913> WHO IS REALY ABDUL MANAN THE INDIVIDUAL WHO CARIED THAT NAME AROUND. COULD IT BE THAT HE'S SOMEONE ELSE? WHY HE HD TO DO SO?
[20:37] <+Dcoetzee> Pine: Kick Guest4913?
�01[20:37] <badmachine> the basc list: is it public
[20:37] <+Pine> I'm pretty sure the BASC list is restricted to BASC members
�01[20:37] <badmachine> okay
�01[20:37] <badmachine> thanks
-hipcrime 19:50, 12 June 2012 (EDT)

child actor?

   
 
A little known fact: Ironholds was a would-be child actor who auditioned for the role of Harry Potter in the popular film series. If he got the role, we wouldn't be having this conversation. And, chances are, the Harry Potter films would have been dreadful.
 

 
 

Wikipedia Review, on Ironholds

is there any more information on this? :D -hipcrime 00:33, 27 October 2012 (EDT)

  • Dunno... but, what I do know (from what little I've seen of them) is that the Harry Potter films were dreadful. :D - Mr Jonzz 00:40, 27 October 2012 (EDT)

Ironholds at Wikipedia Review

[10:10] <Ironholds> see, back on WR, there was one contributor I used to have great fun trolling.
[10:11] <Ironholds> he was incredibly angry and couldn't spell. And pointing out he couldn't spell would make him angrier, and less grammatical.
[10:11] <russavia> ahhh malick shabazz -- how nice to see EEML's pal there
[10:11] <Fluffernutter> the thing about trying to counter-troll trolls is that generally, the trolls are better at it
[10:11] <Ironholds> So every time he posted I'd reply with nothing but a string of spelling corrections. He'd get pissed. He'd eff and blind at me. He'd do so using terrible prose. I'd reply with nothing... ;p

does anyone know what his username was at WR? -hipcrime 10:47, 20 June 2013 (EDT)

Mentifisto, I believe - Alliecat 05:12, 7 July 2013 (EDT)
ah, muchas gracias! :) -hipcrime 11:37, 7 July 2013 (EDT)

Grammar Nazi

grammar nazis always get their comeuppance:

 
 
*:::Strictly speaking, I cannot stop you, but my advice would be that it would be a complete waste of time. Our legal or operations teams are not driven by community consensus, and the chances of us releasing the information are....infidecimally small. Frankly, nothing's going to happen on that front that is community driven, and I have no idea what will happen at the Foundation end, particularly since a software bug and a DoS look identical in such circumstances. [[User:Okeyes (WMF)|Okeyes (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Okeyes (WMF)|talk]]) 14:35, 14 July 2013 (UTC)
 

 

Okeyes (WMF), It's "infinitesimally" you idiot

... and here i was thinking that the Brits had it all over us white trash americans when it comes to english. -hipcrime 15:03, 21 July 2013 (EDT)

   
 
As well as being an excellent editor, Panyd is also schizophrenic. This is not an issue, because no mental disease is an issue if the sufferer can recognise it. Panyd knows when she's having an attack, and when she's going to, and stays off Wikipedia when that's a possibility. The chances of anything happening are infidecimal, and nothing on Wikipedia is irreversible. Wikipedia follows a simple rule; comment on the content, not the contributor. If any of you can show evidence that she's posted a 3,000 word screed on the voices inside her head, fine, but until then, stick with paying attention to her edits - edits which show her to be an excellent candidate. Ironholds (talk) 18:50, 21 November 2010 (UTC)
 

 
 

—Ironholds, emphasis added

-hipcrime 17:01, 15 April 2014 (EDT)

delicious irc snippets

lol grody

complete text
May 01 20:19:32 *       Ironholds is now known as IH|porkin

May 01 23:54:54 <Sunderland06>  Fluff|away: Ironholds is still at yours?

May 01 23:55:18 <Fluff|away>    Sunderland06: he goes home tomorrow night

May 02 02:27:49 *       Ironholds ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-
en
May 02 02:27:50 *       Ironholds has quit (Changing host)
May 02 02:27:50 *       Ironholds (s@wikipedia/Ironholds) has joined #wikipedia-en

May 02 02:56:39 <Fluffernutter> Peter-C: do you really want me to go poke IH and have him 
tell you all about whether i have balls or not? because i'm thinking you don't need that 
sort of trauma in your life

May 02 02:57:56 <Fluffernutter> i like having the nuclear option available
May 02 02:57:58 <Fluffernutter> it shuts him up quickly
May 02 02:58:27 <Ironholds>     the nuclear option would surely be an mp4 of us doing the 
nasty
May 02 02:58:34 <Fluffernutter> ...ewwww
May 02 02:58:56 <Peter-C>       I think it would be a GREAT film if neither of you were in 
it
May 02 02:59:03 <Fluffernutter> ...ewwwwwwwww

May 02 03:12:46 *       Fluffernutter torpedoes sonia's RFA hopes and dreams with 
incriminating video of That Thing You Did
May 02 03:13:13 <sonia> you told me you'd destroyed the tape of that when I handed over the 
money
May 02 03:13:25 *       Sven_Manguard secretly swapped out that video with That Thing 
Fluffernutter Did With Ironholds
May 02 03:13:39 *       Lokshmi is now known as DamselInADress
May 02 03:13:42 <Gfoley4>       O_O
May 02 03:13:53 <Fluffernutter> <_<
May 02 03:14:10 *       Sven_Manguard does the "Went There" dance
May 02 03:14:11 *       dungodung is now known as dungodung|away
May 02 03:14:13 *       dungodung|away is now known as dungodung|sleep
May 02 03:14:21 <Fluffernutter> surely that will only increase my chances of acquiring 
phenomenal wiki power

May 02 03:18:40 *       Fluffernutter grins. Ironholds just wandered past me. "Oh hey, 
anything good happening on the internets?" I look at Sven_Manguard's comment, look back at 
him. "Nope, nothing."

His broken heart

May 05 08:38:32 <Ironholds>     ...you've been talking to my ex, haven't you? ;p
May 05 08:39:16 *       sonia neither confirms nor denies this.
May 05 08:39:34 *       gde33|2 has quit (Ping timeout: 252 seconds)
May 05 08:40:00 <Ironholds>     well, if you have, tell her she's a bitch and I hope she gets cat AIDS
May 05 08:41:16 <Ironholds>     and if you have not, avoid her
May 05 08:41:24 <Ironholds>     she's a despicable human being, and that's ME saying that
May 05 08:43:10 *       QuinnBee ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
May 05 08:43:10 *       QuinnBee has quit (Client Quit)
May 05 08:43:31 *       sonia backs away slowly.
May 05 08:44:18 *       gde33 has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
May 05 08:45:41 <Ironholds>     sonia: what?
May 05 08:46:37 <Ironholds>     sonia: we dated for five years, from the age of 15. High-school sweethearts, as it were. Then I found out she'd spent those five years cheating on me, lying to me, being jealous of my female friends without ever telling me anything, the whole kit and kaboodle. And I was the one left fucked up. I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
May 05 08:46:47 <sonia> ...wow.
May 05 08:47:38 <Ironholds>     and when I say "lying to me"
May 05 08:47:58 <Ironholds>     I mean "when things went bad, she assured me that we'd try our best to fix stuff, then spent 5 months planning how to dump me without saying a word"
May 05 08:48:25 <Ironholds>     it finally came to a head when we were out on a date one day and I went "things are getting better, right?" and she turned to me and went "yup. You know I'm still dumping you, right?"
May 05 08:48:29 <sonia> that... really sucks.
May 05 08:48:44 <Ironholds>     tiny bit
May 05 08:48:59 <Ironholds>     suprisingly enough, the list of people I trust in the world numbers 3
May 05 08:49:12 <Ironholds>     and the list of people I respect, 7. She kinda screwed me over.
May 05 08:51:33 *       Irish_Eddy_ ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
May 05 08:52:01 <Ironholds>     but hey, water under the bridge

Checkuser

May 05 14:08:50 *       Ironholds (s@wikipedia/Ironholds) has joined #wikipedia-en
May 05 14:08:51 <closedmouth>   we don't use checkuser to prove innocence
May 05 14:11:14 *       albel727 (~albel727@unaffiliated/albel727) has joined #wikipedia-en
May 05 14:13:17 <Qcoder00>      Oh :(
May 05 14:13:20 <Qcoder00>      Sorry
May 05 14:13:35 <Ironholds>     Qcoder00: mainly because it's...improbable.
May 05 14:14:01 <Qcoder00>      SirShill: Perhaps you should encourage the person that keeps reverting you to explain why?
May 05 14:14:10 <Ironholds>     think of checkuser as rolling a set of dice. You can put probabiity on certain results, but you can't ever rule *out* any

Ironholds on how to handle an uppity nigger

03[19:53] * Ironholds (n=d@unaffiliated/ironholds) has joined #wikipedia-en
198	08[19:53] <Cream> How are you too  Bullzeye?
199	08[19:53] * Cream jumps up and sits on Ironholds's lap.
200	15[19:53] * JamesonTai (n=JamesonT@wikipedia/Jamesontai) Quit (Read error: 110 (Connection timed out))
201	[19:53] <Mifter> lol
202	[19:54] <Bullzeye> Cream: I'm good. Having a bloody mary and trying to calm down.
203	[19:54] <Ironholds> ..do I have to pay for this like all the other lap-dances?
204	[19:54] <Ironholds> Or are you a cheap whore.
205	[19:54] <Ironholds> Bullzeye: whats wrong?
206	[19:54] <Ladonna> lolmary.
207	[19:54] <Bullzeye> I almost punched somebody out in college class today.
208	[19:54] <DanielB> lol
209	[19:54] <Ironholds> I have done that twice.
210	08[19:54] <Cream> lol
211	[19:54] <Ironholds> Punched out, not almost punched out.
212	[19:55] <Bullzeye> I'll set the stage for you
213	[19:55] <Ironholds> luckily my school didn't transfer any records to the uni, so..
214	08[19:55] <Cream> Ironholds, i'm cheap, 10$
215	[19:55] <Bullzeye> Girl in front row of class, next to me.
216	[19:55] <Ironholds> Mm.
217	[19:55] <Mifter> cream: lol it should be $10 not 10$
218	08[19:56] <Cream> lol
219	[19:56] <Bullzeye> No book. Professor asks "Where is your book? I told you to bring it yesterday." She says, snottily, "You see I don't got it. Whaddya want me to do?"
220	[19:56] <Bullzeye> Professor frowns and looks at shoes.
221	[19:56] <Bullzeye> Girl pulls out Sidekick and commences texting. Above desk, for the entire class.
222	[19:56] <Ironholds> The correct response should not have been to punch her lights out.
223	[19:56] <Bullzeye> At the end of class, professor is getting ready to cut the class loose.
224	[19:57] <Bullzeye> I stop him briefly and ask whether he wants our midterm paper in MLA or Chicago citation style.
225	[19:57] <Ironholds> Yup.
226	[19:57] <Bullzeye> Girl gets mad, throws her hands up, says "Oh my fuckin' god...."
227	[19:57] <Bullzeye> I say "Is there a problem?"
228	[19:57] <Bullzeye> She says "Sit the hell down, white boy."
229	[19:57] <MindstormsKid> O_o
230	[19:57] <Bullzeye> I SHOUT at the top of my lungs
231	[19:57] <Mifter> O_O
232	[19:57] <Steve-Crossin> obai
233	[19:57] <Bullzeye> "This is not the FUCKING Bronx, and you are fucking with the WRONG bull."
234	15[19:57] * Steve-Crossin (n=chatzill@unaffiliated/steve-crossin) Quit ("ChatZilla 0.9.84 [Firefox 3.0.6/2009011913]")
235	[19:57] <Mifter> lol cya steve :)
236	[19:58] <Ironholds> Hahaha.
237	08[19:58] <Cream> lol!
238	[19:58] <Bullzeye> The shocked silence in that classroom was epic.
239	[19:58] <Mifter> lol
240	[19:58] <Ironholds> I would have done something different, but I admire the effort.
241	[19:58] <Mifter> so what happened next :P
242	06[19:58] * MindstormsKid would have cheered Bullzeye on
243	[19:58] <Ironholds> You should however have instead taken your pen, punched a hole in her windpipe and looked on as her attempts to wave for help got increasingly feeble.
244	06[19:58] * Mifter has his popcorn out and is listening intently :P
245	[19:58] <Prodego> :/
246	[19:59] <Ironholds> ..too much? :P.
247	[19:59] <Bullzeye> College kids are, by and large, scum. They were all shocked.
248	[19:59] <Mifter> lol I'm joking :P
249	[19:59] <Mifter> I'm no advocate of violence
250	[19:59] <Ironholds> Bullzeye: as a university student I agree with you like, totally, dude.
251	[19:59] <Ironholds> We have the biggest fuckwads at my uni.
252	[19:59] <Prodego> How about you just wait until she gets a 0 on the course and wastes x hundreds of dollars having taken it
253	[19:59] <p858snake> Mifter: pfft there are people that deserve it
254	[20:00] <MindstormsKid> WHAT NEXT??
255	[20:00] <Mifter> yes, but if anyone could attack anyone for any reason then nothing would ever get done :P
256	[20:00] <Bullzeye> Prodego: No joke. That's my only solace. U-Albany boasts an impressive 40% graduation rate.
257	[20:00] <Ironholds> Example conversation at my uni: "Have you done the contract assignment?" "no, I got an extension until friday" "oh, so when are you working on it?" "probably thursday evening"
258	[20:00] <Ironholds> Its like WHAT THE FUCK.
259	[20:00] <Ironholds> I've never needed an extension in two fricking years.
260	[20:00] <Bullzeye> Despite having the absolute lowest tuition and standards in the state.
261	[20:01] <Prodego> Bullzeye: SUNY?
262	08[20:01] <Cream> ␇
263	[20:01] <Bullzeye> Prodego: Yessir. SUNY Albany.
264	[20:01] <MindstormsKid> Bullzeye: care to continue??
265	15[20:01] * SonicAD ([email protected]) Quit
266	03[20:01] * SonicAD ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
267	[20:01] <Bullzeye> MindstormsKid: Nothing to continue on. Everyone was shocked into silence. Like dead, frightened silence. And then the prof turned around and everyone left.
268	[20:01] <Bullzeye> Keep in mind, this was a 25 person class.
269	[20:01] <Bullzeye> In a small classroom.
270	[20:02] <Ironholds> Bullzeye my man.
271	[20:02] <Ironholds> You deserve a trophy.
272	[20:03] <Ironholds> In the shape of a small, tearful piece of white trash.
273	[20:03] <Bullzeye> lawl
274	[20:03] <Ironholds> At least I assume she was white.
275	[20:03] <Bullzeye> Nope.
276	[20:03] <Ironholds> God knows.
277	[20:03] <Ironholds> oh rly?
278	[20:03] <Bullzeye> She called me "white boy" recall
279	06[20:03] * Ironholds is at uni in the sticks. All white people in my "town" think that they are black, and talk like that all the time
280	[20:03] <Bullzeye> which I could probably get her expelled for, since the prof surely heard it
281	08[20:03] <Cream> omg
282	08[20:03] <Cream> my printer starting working on its own...
283	[20:03] <Ironholds> We have some guys who go on about how ghetto they are.
284	[20:04] <Ironholds> its like for fucks sakes, you're a second-year politics student!
285	[20:04] <Bullzeye> Ironholds: are they chavs?
286	[20:05] <Ironholds> Yes.
287	[20:05] <Ironholds> We have the highest chav:human ratio in the country.
288	[20:05] <Bullzeye> There ya go.
289	[20:05] <Ironholds> And we're talking about a country that produced Tim Westwood.
290	[20:05] <Bullzeye> If I heard a white kid call me "white boy", I'd probably die with laughter.
291	[20:06] <Bullzeye> Like literally rotflmao
292	[20:06] <Ironholds> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arv717FgWHk
293	[20:06] <MindstormsKid> Bullzeye: oh, i thought you were going to punch her :P
294	[20:06] <Ironholds> You will find this fucking hilarious, then.
295	15[20:06] * Seddon (n=chatzill@Wikimedia/Seddon) Quit ("I hear thunder but there's no rain")
296	[20:06] <Bullzeye> The absolute stupidity and juvenile confusion that would produce such a statement would render me incapable of doing anything but laughing.
297	[20:06] <Ironholds> Bullzeye: to make that video better.
298	[20:06] <Ironholds> The white guy who thinks he is black was educated at public school and is the son of a bishop.
299	[20:07] <Bullzeye> MindstormsKid: Nah. Like I said, it was a girl. You can't really hit 'em.
300	[20:07] <MindstormsKid> orly?
301	[20:07] <Bullzeye> lol
302	[20:07] <Ironholds> You can if they deserve it.
303	[20:07] <Ironholds> Now Bullzeye, watch.
304	[20:08] <Bullzeye> "I'm gonna big him up something crazy"
305	[20:08] <Bullzeye> haaaaaaaaaaaa
306	[20:08] <Ironholds> Oh, there is better.
307	[20:08] <Ironholds> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31QLgql_5EY&feature=related
308	[20:08] <Ironholds> (our sort of American Idol thing. I forget if we've exported it yet.)
309	[20:09] <Bullzeye> He literally ends every single sentence with "man"
310	[20:09] <Ironholds> Mm.
311	[20:09] <Bullzeye> Not even total stoner surfers do it for EVERY sentence
312	[20:09] <Ironholds> Make sure to watch the second video allll the way through.
313	[20:10] <Ironholds> We've exported racism, imperialism and British tourists, but we've never invented anything worse than wiggers from sheffield.
314	[20:10] <Ironholds> Unless scottish rappers exist.
315	[20:11] <Ironholds> In which case I am going to die from laughter.
316	[20:11] <Bullzeye> I cannot understand a single bloody lyric that's coming out of that douchebag's mouth.
317	[20:11] <Ironholds> Exactly.
318	[20:11] <Ironholds> He sounds like a homeless guy.
319	[20:12] <Bullzeye> Sharon Osbourne: "You are not talented at all at performing. You should find something else you enjoy doing."
320	[20:12] <Ironholds> Exactly.
321	[20:12] <Ironholds> I'm pretty sure the people who compared him to Eminem were either 1) being sarcastic or 2) also from Sheffield.
322	[20:12] <Ironholds> Or 3) his mum.
323	[20:12] <Ironholds> Who probably falls under 2.
324	[20:13] <Bullzeye> I'll give a transcript from an American perspective:
325	[20:14] <Bullzeye> "Simon Cowell, effix he it. Ee nuffin but a sole. Louis Schwaltz....you lot...er....you...er..."
326	[20:14] <Bullzeye> I like the stuttering. Eminem does a lot of that.
327	[20:14] <Ironholds> I know.
328	[20:14] <Ironholds> He's well known for his inability to rap.
329	[20:14] <Ironholds> Its what helped him sell millions of albums.
330	03[20:15] * oona (n=mysid@wikipedia/Mysid) has joined #wikipedia-en
331	[20:15] <Bullzeye> There is a circle of hell somewhere labelled "moron enabler"
332	[20:15] <Bullzeye> It's below the one where normal morons go
333	03[20:15] * NocturneNoir (n=rawr@wikipedia/darth-panda) has joined #wikipedia-en
334	[20:16] <Ironholds> Mm.
335	[20:16] <Ironholds> I think thats the fifth one.
336	[20:16] <Bullzeye> "Sharon Osbourne's daughter Kelly....she's got more talent....than a piece of shit on me shoe!"
337	[20:16] <Bullzeye> Oooh, burn.
338	[20:16] <Ironholds> Wait no.
339	[20:16] <Ironholds> Eight circle, section two.
340	[20:16] <Bullzeye> People like this would be euthanised in a truly just society.
341	[20:17] <Ironholds> Flatters, steeped in shit.
342	08[20:17] <Cream> Geniune Sharon osbourne quote: "Martha Stewart can lick my scrotum, do i have a scrotum"
343	[20:17] <Ironholds> Hah.
344	[20:17] <Bullzeye> omfg
345	[20:17] <Boriss> o_O
346	[20:17] <Bullzeye> unbelievable
347	[20:17] <Ironholds> I maintain a list of people to be lined up against a wall and shot when I come to power.
348	[20:17] <Boriss> i see i've come at exactly the right time
349	[20:17] <Ironholds> Osbourne is on it.
350	[20:17] <Ironholds> As is Jennifer Aniston.
351	[20:17] <Ironholds> And anyone associated with scientology.
352	[20:17] <Ironholds> And the pope, just to prove I can.
353	[20:17] <Bullzeye> You're alright, Ironholds.
354	[20:17] <Bullzeye> I don't care what anyone says.
355	[20:18] <Ironholds> People say I'm not? O.o.
356	03[20:18] * EnzoAquarius (n=EnzoAqua@uncyclopedia/EnzoAquarius) has joined #Wikipedia-en
357	[20:18] <Bullzeye> Yer mum
358	[20:18] <Ironholds> Well yes, she does.
359	[20:18] <Ironholds> The only reason the pope is on it is because I think it'd be highly amusing to top the pope, wait for them to go through the whole election rigmarole and then top the new one as soon as he steps out into public.
360	[20:19] <Ironholds> Basically I just like making other people waste their time.
361	[20:20] <Ironholds> Hence why I bought an album off amazon because it was the last one they had.
362	[20:21] <Ironholds> Gah, the wiki is boring me.
363	[20:21] <Ironholds> I hath finished my last big project, and now I have nothing to do.
364	03[20:21] * Emachman (n=Emachman@wikipedia/Soxred93) has joined #wikipedia-en
365	[20:22] <Bullzeye> seriously? You bought an album of Amazon just because it was the last one? lawl
366	[20:22] <Ironholds> Well I also wanted it.
367	[20:22] <Ironholds> But my decision to order it immediately on the spot so on so forth was because they wouldn't get another one for five weeks.
368	[20:22] <Ironholds> How soon I get it doesn't matter, I already downloaded it.
369	[20:22] <Ironholds> But frustrating people=great fun for a londoner.
370	03[20:23] * MrZ-man|not_here is now known as irregardless
371	15[20:24] * SudoKing (n=geek@wikipedia/PseudoOne) Quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
372	06[20:24] * irregardless bothers Ladonna
373	03[20:24] * SudoKing (n=geek@wikipedia/PseudoOne) has joined #wikipedia-en
374	[20:25] <Ladonna> :X :X :X
375	[20:25] <Ladonna> irregardless: /nick please.
376	06[20:26] * irregardless
377	03[20:26] * Prodego is now known as irirregardless
378	03[20:26] * irirregardless is now known as Prodego
379	03[20:27] * MBisanz (i=18a15f24@wikipedia/MBisanz) has joined #wikipedia-en
380	03[20:28] * MBisanz (i=18a15f24@wikipedia/MBisanz) has left #wikipedia-en
381	03[20:28] * CWii (n=CWii@unaffiliated/cwii) has joined #wikipedia-en
382	06[20:28] * Ironholds has thought of something to do on-wiki, sweet
383	[20:28] <oona> \o/
384	[20:29] <Ironholds> ?
385	[20:30] <p858snake> take over the MOS monster?
386	[20:30] <Ironholds> Oh god no.
387	[20:30] <Ironholds> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Stewards_of_the_Manor_of_Northstead
388	[20:30] <Ironholds> see this bastard?
389	[20:31] <Ironholds> I got it to Featured based on a bet with Peter Cohen.
390	[20:31] <Ironholds> Now I need to do the same for its fellow articles.
391	03[20:31] * Cream is now known as Cram|BRB
392	[20:31] <Ironholds> Hmm.
393	[20:31] <Ironholds> I wonder if I could turn it into a Featured Topic.
394	15[20:33] * Reedy (n=Reedy@wikimedia/Reedy) Quit (Client Quit)
395	06[20:33] * oona wants to make a featured picture
396	[20:34] <Ironholds> Take, surely :p.
397	[20:35] <oona> I has no camera
398	[20:35] <oona> but I make vector graphics
399	03[20:35] * Steve-Crossin (n=chatzill@unaffiliated/steve-crossin) has joined #wikipedia-en
400	[20:35] <Ironholds> Ahh.
401	[20:36] <Steve-Crossin> ohai
402	[20:37] <p858snake> oona: i've seen a few featured diagrams and graphs
403	[20:37] <oona> yeah so have I
404	[20:37] <oona> not too many though
405	[20:38] <Ironholds> Ooh, two of my DYKS are in the queue.
406	[20:38] <Ironholds> Groovy.
407	[20:38] <Ironholds> Maybe I'll make it a project to get 666 DYKS.
408	[20:38] <Ironholds> ...at which point the wiki will break as hell-beasts leap out of the server racks and devour Brion.
409	[20:39] <Mifter> lol
410	[20:39] <Mifter> thats not nice
411	[20:39] <Mifter> Brion keeps us running
412	[20:39] <Ironholds> I know.
413	[20:39] <Ironholds> Twas a joke.
414	[20:39] <Ironholds> anyone want an FL star?
415	[20:40] <Mifter> lol
416	[20:40] <oona> :P
417	[20:40] <Ironholds> Not for doing nothing :P.
418	06[20:40] * irregardless iz in ur FAs, fucking up ur grammarz
419	08[20:41] <Cram|BRB> ohhai Steve-Crossin <3
420	[20:41] <Ironholds> Thats alright.
421	[20:41] <Ironholds> My FAC is shite grammar-wise.
422	[20:41] <Ironholds> Nobody would notice.
423	[20:42] <Gracenotes> heh, Britons call it the "Mexican wave". Silly Britoners.
424	15[20:43] * rylaicrestfall ([email protected]) Quit
425	03[20:44] * Cyrius ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
426	[20:44] <Ironholds> Cal what the what.
427	[20:44] <Ironholds> And British people, not Britons.
428	[20:45] <Gracenotes> those silly ethnic British people... always over-representing for the rest of the British people...
429	[20:45] <Esteffect> I had a Featured Article once. I don't even dare look at it nowadays
430	[20:45] <Bullzeye> hey Ironholds
431	03[20:45] * Shappy ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
432	[20:45] <Bullzeye> I got a nominee for the greatest sacrifice in the name of lulz
433	[20:46] <Bullzeye> Apparently they found a guy at the bottom of the Golden Gate bridge
434	[20:46] <Bullzeye> in the bay
435	[20:46] <Bullzeye> dead
436	[20:46] <Bullzeye> with a note taped to his chest that read "No reason at all except I had a toothache."
437	[20:46] <Gracenotes> and it's funny because you killed him and pushed him off
438	15[20:47] * Cerejota (n=cerejota@wikipedia/cerejota) Quit (Remote closed the connection)
439	03[20:47] * nwwaew is now known as nwwaew|Away
440	15[20:47] * Ironholds (n=d@unaffiliated/ironholds) Quit
-hipcrime 21:48, 15 July 2013 (EDT)

Ironholds would like to move to America

03:26 <+Ironholds> werdna: I love you. Marry me?
03:26 <+werdna> Ironholds: I do have US nationality
03:26 <+werdna> and you do have British nationality
03:26 <+werdna> so it's not such a terrible idea
03:26 <+Ironholds> that's true
03:27 <+Ironholds> consider 557 my dowry. Or something.
03:27 <+Ironholds> (cheapest wedding ever.)
03:27 <+spagewmf> Hey, let's get the cyberomance comedy "Across Minna Lane" done before we work on "Green Card 2"

Surely a man who has expressed violent fantasies against an American citizen should be denied entry? -hipcrime 06:25, 12 December 2013 (EST)

Fluffernutter's DOX

Intelius brings us the info
and the whitepages
 Her facebook
Atomicnumber27 15:11, 27 July 2013 (EDT) and Atomicnumber27 14:56, 28 July 2013 (EDT)

his white knight, GorillaWarfare aka Molly White

I love Ironholds
Session Start: Sun Jul 14 15:59:30 2013
Session Ident: gorillawarfare
�01[15:59] <badmachine> wow rude
[15:59] <GorillaWarfare> The channel is not for loitering, and you weren't responding to my requests to leave.
�01[16:00] <badmachine> i didnt see them. my apologies
�01[16:00] <badmachine> i will fix my alert
�01[16:00] <badmachine> where can i loiter
[16:01] <GorillaWarfare> I'd recommend you don't
�01[16:01] <badmachine> why
�01[16:01] <badmachine> er, why not
�01[16:02] <badmachine> if you dont care to discuss it, that is fine. i expect that from people like you
[16:03] <GorillaWarfare> From what I hear, you've worn out your welcome on almost all the WMF channels
�01[16:03] <badmachine> yeah i exposed ironholds irc abuse
�01[16:04] <badmachine> and will continue to do so, thanks
[16:04] <GorillaWarfare> Right, and this kind of behavior is why you're finding that you're unwelcome
�01[16:04] <badmachine> why is my behavior worse than his
�01[16:04] <badmachine> im only exposing HIS bad behavior
�01[16:05] <badmachine> but i understand. you love your wikipedia. and nothing is wrong with it
[16:05] <GorillaWarfare> I am not going to argue this with you
�01[16:05] <badmachine> okay then
�01[16:05] <badmachine> i know your type
�01[16:05] <badmachine> not open for reasonable discussion
�01[16:05] <badmachine> my door is always open
[16:06] <GorillaWarfare> It would appear that it's open to discussion, but not necessarily to reasonable discussion.
�01[16:07] <badmachine> what is unreasonable about my behavior
�01[16:07] <badmachine> we have an abusive sysop
�01[16:07] <badmachine> and im one of the ones he picked on
�01[16:07] <badmachine> what is unreasonable about my actions
�01[16:07] <badmachine> pls tell me
[16:07] <GorillaWarfare> "i expect that from people like you"
�01[16:07] <badmachine> yes
�01[16:07] <badmachine> wikipedians
�01[16:07] <badmachine> people for whom wikipedia is never wrong
�01[16:08] <badmachine> it is bad to discuss abuse from sysops
�01[16:08] <badmachine> so yeah
�01[16:08] <badmachine> people like you
[16:08] <GorillaWarfare> Right; these kinds of generalizations show to me that you're not really open for reasonable discussion.
�01[16:08] <badmachine> you just cant defend his actions
�01[16:08] <badmachine> cuz theyre indefensible
[16:08] <GorillaWarfare> I don't think Ironholds has done anything particularly abusive
�01[16:08] <badmachine> so you give a vague handwave at my behavior or generalizations
�01[16:09] <badmachine> particularly
�01[16:09] <badmachine> lol
�01[16:09] <badmachine> LOL
[16:09] <GorillaWarfare> Furthermore, Ironholds is a friend of mine
�01[16:09] <badmachine> ya i gathered
�01[16:09] <badmachine> so its protect teh buddy now
�01[16:09] <badmachine> i dont expect any kind of reason or rational thought from you now
�01[16:09] <badmachine> you know youre wrong. you know hes wrong
�01[16:10] <badmachine> and you know that im right
[16:10] <GorillaWarfare> Haha, whatever you say, badmachine.
�01[16:10] <badmachine> my actions are defensible.
�01[16:10] <badmachine> okay i see.
�01[16:10] <badmachine> enjoy your VisualEditor
�01[16:10] <badmachine> AFT5
�01[16:10] <badmachine> hows that going, btw
�01[16:10] <badmachine> nah jk.
�01[16:10] <badmachine> see ya around.
�01[16:52] <badmachine> https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Encyclopedia_Dramatica:Quote_of_the_Now/July_16,_2013
�01[16:52] <badmachine> there ya go
�01[16:52] <badmachine> 17th too
[16:54] <GorillaWarfare> Classy
�01[16:54] <badmachine> just like oliver's chats
�01[16:54] <badmachine> and abuse
�01[16:55] <badmachine> its hard for me to believe youre a woman
�01[16:55] <badmachine> what the hell
�01[16:55] <badmachine> youve �seen� some of his chats. why are you buddies with him
[16:55] <GorillaWarfare> Uhh
�01[16:55] <badmachine> i bet youre not a woman. or your irc nick has nothing to do with your wikipedia username
�01[16:56] <badmachine> or, a sock
�01[16:56] <badmachine> lol like optimom
�01[16:56] <badmachine> close that gendergap
[16:57] <GorillaWarfare> Lol
�01[16:57] <badmachine> ;)
[16:57] <GorillaWarfare> For the record, cloaks verify who you are on-wiki
�01[16:57] <badmachine> yeah i know.
�01[16:58] <badmachine> it was a joke.
[16:58] <GorillaWarfare> Oh
[16:58] <GorillaWarfare> Hilarious
�01[16:59] <badmachine> i dont mean the part about you being a male sockpuppeter is a joke. i totally believe youre a man.
[17:02] <GorillaWarfare> Okay
�01[17:03] <badmachine> :)
Session Time: Mon Jul 15 00:00:00 2013
�01[06:27] <badmachine> omg
�01[06:27] <badmachine> i just figured it out. the only reason you would stand up for him
�01[06:28] <badmachine> i bet you two are closely acquainted
�01[06:28] <badmachine> really closely
�01[06:28] <badmachine> hah! and here i thought you were a male sock.
�01[06:28] <badmachine> well anyway
�01[06:28] <badmachine> http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Hipcrime/Ironholds
[07:45] <GorillaWarfare> Lol ok
�01[07:45] <badmachine> gross
�01[07:46] <badmachine> you do realize that he is terrible, right
[07:46] <GorillaWarfare> Pretty sure we've had this discussion already
�01[07:46] <badmachine> well, in part
�01[07:46] <badmachine> but okay.
�01[07:47] <badmachine> but gross.
�01[10:57] <badmachine> you seem like an intelligent person
�01[10:58] <badmachine> if youve had any personal interaction with him, just take this into account please
�01[10:58] <badmachine> for your own good:
�01[10:58] <badmachine> May 05 08:38:32 <Ironholds> ...you've been talking to my ex, haven't you? ;p
�01[10:58] <badmachine> May 05 08:40:00 <Ironholds> well, if you have, tell her she's a bitch and I hope she gets cat AIDS
�01[10:58] <badmachine> May 05 08:41:16 <Ironholds> and if you have not, avoid her
�01[10:58] <badmachine> May 05 08:41:24 <Ironholds> she's a despicable human being, and that's ME saying that
�01[10:58] <badmachine> <snip>
�01[10:58] <badmachine> May 05 08:46:37 <Ironholds> sonia: we dated for five years, from the age of 15. High-school sweethearts, as it were. Then I found out she'd spent those five years cheating on me, lying to me, being jealous of my female friends without ever telling me anything, the whole kit and kaboodle. And I was the one left fucked up. I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
�01[10:58] <badmachine> id also use birth control when sleeping with him if i was you
�01[10:59] <badmachine> >I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
�01[10:59] <badmachine> >she's a bitch and I hope she gets cat AIDS
�01[10:59] <badmachine> p nasty, imo
Session Time: Tue Jul 16 00:00:01 2013
Session Time: Wed Jul 17 00:00:00 2013
Session Close: Wed Jul 17 01:11:52 2013

Session Start: Wed Jul 17 01:11:52 2013
Session Ident: gorillawarfare
�01[14:53] <badmachine> you busy
�01[14:53] <badmachine> ?
[14:54] <GorillaWarfare> A bit
�01[14:54] <badmachine> okay. id like to chat with you later when you (and I) arent busy
�01[14:54] <badmachine> you seem to always be on, so later on i will ping you. :)
�01[14:54] <badmachine> (if its okay)
[14:54] <GorillaWarfare> I'll be busy anytime
[14:54] <GorillaWarfare> What do you need
�01[14:55] <badmachine> i wanted to ask a personal question. but only if youre prepared to answer it
�01[14:55] <badmachine> let me put it out there, and if youre not inclined to answer, then dont
�01[14:55] <badmachine> have you met ironholds irl?
�01[14:56] <badmachine> if youre not inclined to answer, that is fine.
�01[14:56] <badmachine> thanks for your time.
[15:08] <GorillaWarfare> Had to step out
[15:08] <GorillaWarfare> And I don't particularly feel like feeding your Ironholds obsession
�01[15:12] <badmachine> [16:09] <GorillaWarfare> Furthermore, Ironholds is a friend of mine
�01[15:12] <badmachine> >>[19:58] <Ironholds> You should however have instead taken your pen, punched a hole in her windpipe and looked on as her attempts to wave for help got increasingly feeble.
�01[15:13] <badmachine> >>May 05 08:46:37 <Ironholds>     sonia: we dated for five years, from the age of 15. High-school sweethearts, as it were. Then I found out she'd spent those five years cheating on me, lying to me, being jealous of my female friends without ever telling me anything, the whole kit and kaboodle. And I was the one left fucked up. I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
�01[15:13] <badmachine> >>I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her.
�01[15:13] <badmachine> so dont tell me what im obsessed with, pls
�01[15:13] <badmachine> im concerned
�01[15:13] <badmachine> but since you dont give a shit, enjoy his company.
[15:14] <GorillaWarfare> Call it what you like; I don't care to discuss him with you
�01[15:14] <badmachine> fair enough.
Session Time: Thu Jul 18 00:00:01 2013
Session Close: Thu Jul 18 10:00:39 2013

Session Start: Thu Jul 18 10:00:39 2013
Session Ident: gorillawarfare
Session Close: Thu Jul 18 16:26:10 2013

she claims to be "a friend" of Ironholds, but she white knights for him so much that i wonder if he didn't fuck her too. -hipcrime 09:37, 2 August 2013 (EDT)

Well it is many steps up from fucking Nut-Fluffer. Molly isn't half bad. I mean, I could.. Atomicnumber27 09:47, 2 August 2013 (EDT)
she's disgusting. she bends over backward to white knight for Ironholds, who has brought disgrace to the WMF, yet bans me from WP:IRC. she and Keyes deserve each other. something tells me she has his n00dz, which would go great in his article. -hipcrime 10:03, 2 August 2013 (EDT)
Well here is Her linkedin
Here is Oliver's liberal meetup group
And this might also be our hero
Atomicnumber27 11:30, 2 August 2013 (EDT)
that pic is of Neurolysis, who has marked themselves as "retired". i wonder if s/he didn't get his/her heart broken by Ironholds, too:

-hipcrime 17:10, 2 August 2013 (EDT)
Oh snap  Molibear VX BREATHE DEEP 16:00, 4 August 2013 (EDT)

I made some terrible porn

Gorilla Warfare x Ironholds x unnamed Wikipedo

I don't know what I was doing, but I've done it now. Ls. 08:32, 5 August 2013 (EDT)

Terrible? It is absolutely flawless. Atomicnumber27 08:35, 5 August 2013 (EDT)
this^. :D -hipcrime 22:54, 5 August 2013 (EDT)

RIP

   
 
(User rights log); 22:57 . . 28bytes (talk | contribs) changed group membership for User:Ironholds from edit filter manager and administrator to edit filter manager, reviewer, rollbacker and autopatrolled ‎(Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kiefer.Wolfowitz_and_Ironholds)
 

 
 

;_;

-hipcrime 20:01, 13 August 2013 (EDT)

HAHAHAHA

http://www.globalpenfriends.com/index.php?page=view_profile&id=22655

oliver keyes D025554
Male ,  23 ,  Single London ,  Middlessex ,  United Kingdom
Personal Details
Gender:Male Age:23 Race:Caucasian Marital Status:Single Religion:Atheist Occupation:Student Education:High school not completed Languages:English (Fluent)
Hebrew (Fluent)
French (Some)
Japanese (Some)
 Eye Colour:Blue Hair Colour:Black Body Type:Slim Height:5'2''-5'6'' (157cm-169cm) 
Interests
Nature, Music - Rock, Movies / Cinema, Martial Arts, Literature / History, Horses and Riding, Gym / Aerobics, Golf, Cooking, Computers / Internet, Boxing / Wrestling, Astrology / New Age, Politics, Religion, Sailing / Boating, Singing / Playing Instrument, Walking / Running, Yoga / Meditation,
Correspond As
Email Pal
About me
i'm 15 (nearly 16); kinda slim i guess. About to do my
GCSE's, although not something i'm particularly happy with.
I like kickboxing (lethwei), golf, paganism, playing guitar
(the proud owner of an SG and a '58 Korina explorer) and
flying and shooting.
Appearance
i've been told i've got nice eyes; tend to alternate between
grey and blue. I want to grow my hair longer, but it goes
fluffy after a certain length; probably the jamaican in me.
I'm a bit thinner and shorter than i'd like to be, but it
has its advantages; i can squeeze into any sized space and
twist my body in about 100 different ways.
My Penpals Should be...
Aged between 14 - 16 ( Gender: Female )
I'd prefer someone with a similar taste of music to me;
Coheed and Cambria, Trivium, Thrice, Death Cab for Cutie,
The Arcade Fire, The Flaming Lips, Iron maiden, a few other
similar bands. oh, and Mudhoney and System of a Down (saw
them live! go me).

Ironholds claims Jamaican ancestry, and is fluent in Hebrew. He might also want to remove the part about wanting 14-16 year old girls, now that it auto updated his age to 23. -hipcrime 06:43, 29 January 2014 (EST)

His taste in music is awful however the fact he "can squeeze into any sized space and twist my body in about 100 different ways." sounds hot as fuck and would more than make up for said shortcoming. Mr.Jonzz 08:28, 29 January 2014 (EST)

Let's see here:

>paganism

  • That explains a lot

>playing guitar (the proud owner of an SG and a '58 Korina explorer)

  • oh wow shitty guitars let me in on this

>The Arcade Fire

11:36, 29 January 2014 (EST)

All his contributions are released CC-BY-SA

   
 
@quominus I assume this image is itself BY-SA? :) Need to illustrate my conference blog post...
 

 
 

Luis Villa

   
 
@tieguy BY-SA - Everything I do or release is :).
 

 
 

Keyes

i wonder why the addition of this CC-BY-SA text is perpetually reverted from his userpage:

   
 
I'm Autistic, having Aspergers Syndrome, i have an IQ of 145, an Eidetic memory to do with sounds and am lucky enough to suffer from Bipolar disorder.
 

 
 

maybe that's an exception. -hipcrime 23:15, 12 February 2014 (EST) (added link 01:57, 21 April 2015 (EDT))

The Peter Damian incident

is archived here:

I recall Tom Morris being mortified that this log was published, and ended up apologizing to Peter Damian. Anyway, here is an excerpt, courtesy of GNAA:

[17:05] <tommorris> so, what's the odds on Jimbo saying something stupid on QT?
03[17:05] * BarkingFish (~BarkingIn@openglobe/BarkingFish) has joined #wikipedia-en
03[17:06] * pticochon ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
15[17:06] * FastLizard4|zZzZ (fastlizard@wikipedia/pdpc.active.FastLizard4) Quit (Ping timeout: 244 seconds)
[17:06] <tommorris> I can get the Jimmy Wales action figure in military brown, casual, business suit or "Indiana Jones"
15[17:06] * mabdul|busy (~mabdul@wikipedia/mabdul) Quit (Quit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw)
03[17:06] * FastLizard4|zZzZ (fastlizard@wikipedia/pdpc.active.FastLizard4) has joined #wikipedia-en
[17:06] <the_wub> YES! the Jimbo action figure!
[17:07] <the_wub> most disturbing phrase in that: "you can also buy Jimmy Wales' head for $60 only"
[17:07] <tommorris> it's also telling me I want a Ben Bernanke action figure
[17:07] <tommorris> and a Bruce Schneier one
[17:07] <tommorris> oh my god, it's got the weirdest celebrities
[17:08] <tommorris> instead of, oh, Brad Pitt, it's got... Nick Clegg.
[17:09] <tommorris> and Julian Assange, David Cameron, Rahm Emanuel
[17:09] <tommorris> the only female is Kate Middleton
[17:09] <the_wub> did you see you can get ordinary Bruce Schneier, or Cyborg Bruce Schneier?
03[17:09] * _trollface_ ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
15[17:09] * Betacommand (~Betacomma@unaffiliated/betacommand) Quit (Disconnected by services)
03[17:09] * Betacommand_ (~Betacomma@unaffiliated/betacommand) has joined #wikipedia-en
03[17:10] * Betacommand_ is now known as Betacommand
[17:10] <tommorris> oh man, I need Cyborg Bruce Schneier and Jimmy Wales action figures. then they can have an argument about the security implications of letting anyone edit your website.
15[17:11] * Excirial (~Excirial@wikipedia/Excirial) Quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 8.0/20111104165243])
[17:12] <_trollface_> tommorris: bobble heads?
[17:12] <Nascar1996> ?
[17:12] <tommorris> _trollface_: sadly not
[17:13] <the_wub> I'll take one of these: http://www.thatsmyface.com/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/ThatsMyFace_4x_lifesize_giant_papercraft_mask.jpg
[17:14] <tommorris> _trollface_: we were discussing http://www.thatsmyface.com/vmchk/Celebrity-Action-Figures/Jimmy-Wales-action-figure/flypage.ilvm_grey.tpl.html
03[17:14] * Panyd ([email protected]) has joined #wikipedia-en
06[17:14] * tommorris wonders if we could tempt the really fucking perverted by offering a premium Jimmy Wales [[RealDoll]].
15[17:14] * Panyd ([email protected]) Quit (Changing host)
03[17:14] * Panyd (~Panyd@wikipedia/Panyd) has joined #wikipedia-en
[17:14] <_trollface_> still, a bobble head would be fun
[17:14] <_trollface_> :P
[17:15] <Ironholds> tommorris: we could have a Peter Damian one!
[17:15] <Ironholds> as anatomically vacant as a ken doll
[17:15] <tommorris> Ironholds: you have to pay extra for the shemale option
[17:15] <Ironholds> "punching him in the face feels like punching the real thing!"
[17:15] <tommorris> no, better yet, wire it up to a thread on Wikipedia Review. every time you punch it, it updates the post
[17:16] <tommorris> that said, I had a perfectly reasonable conversation with PD
[17:16] <tommorris> we both agreed that Wikipedia's coverage of philosophy was shit
[17:16] <tommorris> I didn't point out that it was better as a result of not having him editing
[17:17] <tommorris> Ironholds: you may enjoy http://www.quora.com/Why-did-Wikiversity-fail btw
15[17:19] * CRRaysHead90 (~CR90@unaffiliated/crrayshead90) Quit (Quit: bbl)
[17:21] <tommorris> "Some owners also use the dolls as non-sexual companion substitutes, rarely (if ever) having intercourse with them."
[17:21] <tommorris> they are $6k
15[17:21] * Pesky (~Pesky@wikipedia/ThatPeskyCommoner) Quit (Quit: Pesky)
[17:21] <WilliamH_UK> Ironholds what do you think of the new Metropolitan line trains
[17:21] <tommorris> that's a lot of hookers and/or one-night-stands
06[17:22] * Nascar1996 feels sick to his stomach. :-(
06[17:23] * Narodnik feels Nascar1996, helpfully.
[17:23] <tommorris> I wonder how many orders they get from people who want a replica of an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend
06[17:23] * Nascar1996 loves Thanksgiving.
[17:23] <Narodnik> or themselves
  • ah, here it is:
   
 
Those comments are juvenile, insulting and embarrassing. I apologise to both Jimmy Wales and to Peter Damian: it was stupid for me to say those things, and I'm sorry. I also apologise for using a transphobic slur.

I realised at some point between 2011 and now that participation in the "drama" side of Wikipedia makes me miserable and turns me into a sort of person I don't want to be. (On my deathbed, I can't imagine that I will regret not spending more time posting on ANI.) I now try to consciously opt-out of such situations. I think I have matured as a person; I would not take part in a conversation like the one excerpted above today. IRC can promote a rhetorical one-upmanship which can be excessive, mean and immature. I'm far more careful in what I say and have pared down the number of Wikimedia IRC channels I participate in. As for OTRS, I act with discretion and try my hardest to deal with the emails I handle at OTRS in a kind and considerate way. —Tom Morris (talk) 07:41, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
 


 
 

—Tom Morris, apologizing

-hipcrime 22:08, 7 July 2014 (EDT)

page rank

This article used to appear on page one of a Google search for "Ironholds" or "Oliver Keyes"... did Mr Keyes exert influence with someone at Google, or maybe he blew an ED sysop. If it's the latter, please supply n00dz for the article, whoever you are. :) -hipcrime 02:26, 19 November 2014 (EST)

  • the irony will be delicious if it turns out that this article has been submitted for omission under the EU 'right to be forgotten' that Jimbo bitched about, calling the law "deeply immoral". lol -hipcrime 15:04, 20 November 2014 (EST)

It looks like there's an actual problem here:

Google indexes the edit page, diff's, and subpages, but not the article page proper. Using site:encyclopediadramatica.se doesn't help. --JuniusThaddeus 16:08, 20 November 2014 (EST)

Since Google still indexes the edit page, diff's, etc., I have a hunch that renaming the page to "Ironholds" might fix the problem. Let's find out. --JuniusThaddeus 16:16, 20 November 2014 (EST)
Whoops. I didn't notice that Hiprime already played with the page name. --JuniusThaddeus 16:21, 20 November 2014 (EST)
  • I believe the reason may be the domain change, we lost a lot of pagerank and it is a little slow to return this time.--Mantequilla (talk) 16:34, 20 November 2014 (EST)
I created a redirect from "Oliver Keyes" when I noticed this page was absent from Google results, then today i checked again and it was still absent except for one of those "printable" diffs and two subpages so i moved it. My guess is that Keyes, as a UK citizen, has invoked his right to be forgotten, and the only reason "Oliver Keyes" shows up is because it was recently created (which was a surprise). Time will tell whether this page title will also vanish from Google results. -hipcrime 18:26, 20 November 2014 (EST)
ED comes up presently on the first page when I search for either term from a U.S. location, and for the name that shitty Examiner article also comes up. But I don't get why you people seem to take so much pleasure in seeing somebody raked over the coals for some minor trolling, when you know how hard ED has to fight to get around censors and spoilfuns who want to stop the trolling here. Wnt 13:02, 14 December 2014 (EST)
Oliver is well acquainted with the meaning of "lulz", and I'm sure he doesn't object to the presence of this article. -hipcrime 15:31, 14 December 2014 (EST)

moved from Talk:GorillaWarfare

the following was moved from Talk:GorillaWarfare. -hipcrime 21:38, 7 June 2015 (EDT)


Ms White thinks I am dangerous

The banner that caused /b/tards to fall in love with her. Too bad her heart belongs to Ironholds

simply because i posted a diseased fantasy at Ironholds' talkpage, Ms White considers me "dangerous". She also thinks that I created this article, and have maintained it as a pattern of harassment towards her. Therefore, I restored this redirect's history, so that anyone with eyeballs can see that all i did was minor things like categorization, some link fixes, addition of two or three images released by Ms White under a free-content license, and other minor shit that i do in the course of my duties here. If Ms White is prepared to show harassment, then I invite her to bring it. The diffs speak for themselves. -hipcrime 18:50, 27 August 2014 (EDT)

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
When you see hipcrime, you best call the cops!
In all seriousness, however, I can't possibly fathom how she could actually believe that this article is your baby, much less the bit about you being "dangerous." She knows how to read an article's history. I have to call victim card on this one.  VX  19:13, 27 August 2014 (EDT)
All that would be needed is a metal detector
yes, she seems hysterical. i bet she and ironholds lay in bed all day and dream of being harassed by my AIDS ridden semi-bionic bod (seen at right). perhaps they would run away from me, a'la every horror flick ever. the zombie antagonist slowly hobbling toward them, Ms White falls and breaks a heel. ironholds pauses to help her, giving me time to catch up to them. these fantasies write themselves, so i'm not going to give them more ammo by finishing this one, but it involves zombie rape. one day i will tell it... perhaps on my death bed. -hipcrime 11:08, 28 August 2014 (EDT)

as requested

Ms White has implied that I have selectively posted logs. After a lot of hunting on a very crashy netbook, I was able to find the log she refers to. It is published here in its entirety.


Session Start: Mon Aug 12 09:22:17 2013
Session Ident: GorillaWarfare
[09:22] <zzyzzygy> por vous:
[09:22] <zzyzzygy> https://encyclopediadramatica.se/GorillaWarfare
[09:27] <GorillaWarfare> Ah, it's back?
[09:27] <zzyzzygy> awaiting bans
[09:29] <GorillaWarfare> badmachine, hm?
[09:29] <zzyzzygy> your observational skills are excellent
[09:29] <zzyzzygy> :B
[09:30] <zzyzzygy> you missed a few
[09:31] <zzyzzygy> it was admirable, the way you stood up for him. im glad he will be desysopped
[09:31] <GorillaWarfare> Patience is a virtue
[09:31] <zzyzzygy> yes. :)
Session Close: Mon Aug 12 13:28:29 2013

Session Start: Mon Aug 12 13:28:30 2013
Session Ident: GorillaWarfare
-
[16:19] GorillaWarfare is ~GorillaWa@wikipedia/GorillaWarfare * GorillaWarfare
[16:19] GorillaWarfare using kornbluth.freenode.net Frankfurt, Germany
[16:19] GorillaWarfare is away: AFK
[16:19] GorillaWarfare is logged in as GorillaWarfare
[16:19] GorillaWarfare End of /WHOIS list.
-
[18:14] <badmachine> so tell me: did you suck it?
[18:14] <badmachine> im going to guess yes
[18:15] <badmachine> any n00dz? pls send them to [email protected]
[18:15] <badmachine> kthx
Session Close: Mon Aug 12 19:56:26 2013

Session Start: Mon Aug 12 19:56:26 2013
Session Ident: GorillaWarfare
Session Close: Mon Aug 12 21:20:14 2013

Session Start: Mon Aug 12 21:20:14 2013
Session Ident: GorillaWarfare
Session Close: Tue Aug 13 00:00:01 2013
-hipcrime 05:15, 17 January 2015 (EST)
   
 
I added a photo to my userpage in late October 2011, knowing the fundraising banners were going to connect a picture to my username soon after. The banners were run in early December 2011, at which point I was doxxed. I'm not sure what you're implying, that my allowing the Foundation to use my photo on the fundraising banner means that I no longer had any right to secrecy about my personal information?
 

 
 

Ms White

  • sorta. to quote the decision by the committee on which Ms White currently sits: "23) Satirical treatment of Wikipedia, its users, errors and policies is to be expected. Passed 6-0 at 20:35, 17 October 2007 (UTC)" -hipcrime 22:10, 17 January 2015 (EST)