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[[Image:Cartman-Hitler.jpg|right|300px|The [[Hitler|president]] of Comedy Central.]]
[[Image:Cartman-Hitler.jpg|right|300px|The [[Hitler|president]] of Comedy Central.]]
'''Comedy Central''' is, as opposed to what its name suggests, the most [[unfunny]] television network ever. It consists of ''[[The Daily Show]]'', ''[[South Park]]'', ''[[The Colbert Report]]'', nine-hour marathons of [[Unfunny|''Mad TV'']], [[moar]] parody news programs than you can shake a dick at, and on the weekends, more <s>B</s>F-list movies than you could ever imagine. The only reason anybody watches the channel is to catch the new episodes of ''[[South Park]]'' and ''[[Futurama]]'' only to be found in the afternoon. Bad comedy movies and failed shows such as ''Too Late with Adam Carolla'' clog the airwaves with pestilence, boredom, and death. The only other show which made Comedy Central less unbearable to watch were reruns of ''[[Bullshit|Family Guy]]'', but the station heads, in a true display of their infinite wisdom, decided to stop airing it.
'''Comedy Central''' or millennial news network, is, as opposed to what its name suggests, the most [[unfunny]] television network ever. It consists of ''[[The Daily Show]]'' (sans Jon Leibovitz), ''[[South Park]]'', <s>''[[The Colbert Report]]''</s> <s>[[Trying too hard|The Nightly Show]] with [[Nigger|Larry Wilmore]]</s> [[Attack of the Show|midnight with Chris Hardwick]], nine-hour marathons of <s>[[Unfunny|''Mad TV'']]</s>  [[Amy Schumer|Inside Amy Schumer]], [[moar]] parody news programs than you can shake a dick at, and on the weekends, more <s>B</s>F-list movies than you could ever imagine. The only reason anybody watches the channel is to catch the new episodes of ''[[South Park]]'' and ''[[Futurama]]'' only to be found in the afternoon. Bad comedy movies and failed shows such as ''Too Late with Adam Carolla'' clog the airwaves with pestilence, boredom, and death. The only other show which made Comedy Central less unbearable to watch were reruns of ''[[Bullshit|Family Guy]]'', but the station heads, in a true display of their infinite wisdom, decided to stop airing it.


__TOC__
__TOC__
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== Current Comedy Central Line-Up ==
== Current Comedy Central Line-Up ==
[[Image:Mencia.jpg|thumb|DEE DEE DEE! DEE DEE DEE! BEANER! DEE DEE DEE! WETBACKS! DEE DEE DEE!]]
[[Image:Mencia.jpg|thumb|DEE DEE DEE! DEE DEE DEE! BEANER! DEE DEE DEE! WETBACKS! DEE DEE DEE!]]
*7:00 AM: [[Unfunny|Hours and hours of ''Always Sunny in Philadelphia'' reruns.]]
*7:00 AM: <s>[[Unfunny|Hours and hours of ''Always Sunny in Philadelphia'' reruns.]]</s>
*9:00 AM: [[Torture|3 solid hours of very bad amateur standup comedians.]]
*9:00 AM: [[Torture|3 solid hours of very bad amateur standup comedians.]]
*12:00 PM [[Shit nobody cares about|That movie you thought about seeing, but then you realize it's not going to be good on cable because of the edits.]]
*12:00 PM [[Shit nobody cares about|That movie you thought about seeing, but then you realize it's not going to be good on cable because of the edits.]]
*4:00 PM: ''[[Workaholics]]'' (The same four episodes played everyday, all day.)
*4:00 PM: <s>''Workaholics'' (The same four episodes played everyday, all day. Like ''Always Sunny'', despite being moronic shit, it lasted for ''seven long seasons''.)</s>
*5:00 PM: ''[[The Daily Show]]'' ([[Leftard]] jokes and a boring interview.)
*5:00 PM: ''[[The Daily Show]]'' without Jon Stewart ([[Leftard]] jokes and a boring interview.)
*6:00 PM: ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' (Half-hour of the most lulzworthy, blatant satire on TV)
*6:00 PM: <s>''[[The Colbert Report]]''</s> (Half-hour of the most lulzworthy, blatant satire on TV, which is not saying much, and canceled in 2014 anyway)
*7:00 PM: ''[[Scrubs]]'' (Another half-hour of the same unfunny forced memes and [[gay|butt secks]] seen a few hours earlier)
*6:00 PM: <s>''[[Bix Nood|The Nightly Show]]''</s> (lel, Who wants to watch a show with an unfunny nigger? Canceled.)
*8:00 PM: ''[[Monster|Ugly Americans]]'' (Like every other shitcom wannabe except with monsters. Bad [[dong|dick]] jokes gone awry.)
*7:00 PM: <s>''[[Scrubs]]'' (Another half-hour of ancient reruns of the same unfunny forced memes and [[gay|butt secks]] seen a few hours earlier)</s>
*9:00 PM: ''[[Futurama]]'' (Either one of the Bender episodes or the alien episodes)
*7:30 PM: <s>''Drawn Together''</s> (lol canceled)
*8:00 PM: <s>''[[Monster|Ugly Americans]]''</s> (Like every other shitcom wannabe except with monsters. Bad [[dong|dick]] jokes gone awry. Canceled.)
*9:00 PM: <s>''[[Futurama]]''</s> (Either one of the Bender episodes or the alien episodes, also canceled)
*9:30 PM: ''[[South Park]]'' (Either one of the fart-joke ridden episodes or the preachy episodes.  Wait a minute, isn't that all South Park is?)
*9:30 PM: ''[[South Park]]'' (Either one of the fart-joke ridden episodes or the preachy episodes.  Wait a minute, isn't that all South Park is?)
*10:00 PM: ''[[tosh.0]]''/Reno 911!/New episodes of ''[[South Park]]''  (an unfunny look at Internets/Police/Childhood).
*10:00 PM: ''[[tosh.0]]'' / ''Reno 911!'' / moar reruns of ''[[South Park]]''  (an unfunny look at Internets/Police/Childhood).
*2:00 AM: [[Scam|Nothing but 5 solid hours of ''Girls Gone Wild'' commercials]]. (''The Colbert Report'' likes to claim they have cooking product ads on, but it's always ''Girls Gone Wild''. No other network airs these, either.)
*2:00 AM: <s>[[Scam|Nothing but 5 solid hours of ''Girls Gone Wild'' commercials]]. (''The Colbert Report'' likes to claim they have cooking product ads on, but it's always ''Girls Gone Wild''. No other network airs these, either.) </s> It's not 2009 anymore idiot.
 
Notice how most of these are crossed out.
 
==Targeted Demographic==
 
===[[13-year-old boy|Middle Schoolers]]===
 
As everyone knows, middle school kids find curse words and the human reproduction cycle hilarious. Since simply saying them would make anyone under the age of 16 laugh it's an easy win for CC. That's pretty much why using shock value is really the only thing the "comedians" really do anymore.
 
===[[Social Justice|SJWs]]/Millennials/or basically any white middle class brat that got [[The Donald|Trump]] in office===
 
If you're wondering why Gen Y has such a death boner with [[Fox News|Faux News]] or any right wing figure for that matter, look no further. As stated earlier, when those middle school kids went to high school they started believing every word Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, or any late night cable show host said. Sooner or later they got to the point where they started to believe they were actual political commentators and started giving Don Quixote a run for his money. Similar to what was said earlier (about how anyone who says swear words or sex origins gets their own show) it's gotten to the point where pretty much anyone who says Trump's worse than Hitler for 22 minutes gets their own show. This however will slowly be coming to a close because more [https://www.ac2news.com/2017/10/cable-continues-to-die-cord-cutters-sap-atts-tv-business/ Americans (a.k.a the viewers parents and breadwinners) are getting rid of cable.]
 
===[[Feminism|Femtards]]===
 
Recently, after a decline in quality, Comedy Central figured since they're scraping the bottom of the barrel they might as well give [[Amy Schumer]] work. Thus, Inside Amy Schumer was born. Of course, no one outside of cult of misandry finds her funny and this isn't helping their quality. But CC got to pay the bills. And [[Capitalism|the customer's always right]].
 
===South Park fandom===
 
The only time Comedy Central ever got post Gen X conservative viewers was when they aired South Park (because it's one of the few shows that actually mocks liberals). Everything went smoothly until the geniuses that are Trey Parker and Matt Stone decided to go after their [[Donald Trump|God]]. [http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/daily-ratings/wednesday-cable-ratings-sept-13-2017/ Now their ratings are failing].


== The Secret Stash ==
== The Secret Stash ==
[[Image:Drawn-Together-orgy.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Comedy Central's Secret Stash can't show live-action nudity, but it CAN show you cartoon nudity.]]  
[[Image:Drawn-Together-orgy.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Comedy Central's Secret Stash can't show live-action nudity, but it CAN show you cartoon nudity.]]  
The Comedy Central Secret Stash is basically Comedy Central playing stolen HBO specials, such as ''Eddie Murphy Raw'', which is extremely dated and hardly funny, and the uncut version of ''[[Shit no one cares about|Not Another Teen Movie]]'' aired very late at night. They only thing different is they can say words like "[[fuck]]" after 1 AM Sunday morning.   
The Comedy Central Secret Stash is basically Comedy Central playing stolen HBO specials, such as ''Eddie Murphy Raw'', which is extremely dated and hardly funny, and the uncut version of ''[[Shit no one cares about|Not Another Teen Movie]]'' aired very late at night. The only thing different is they can say words like "[[fuck]]" after 1 AM Sunday morning.   


Once in a while you get to see a series of Dave Chappelle reruns of his standup, and his former wildly successful ''[[Dave Chappelle|Chappelle's Show]]'' (which is ironic, since Viacom and their boys ran Chappelle out of the country and into Africa, for reasons only the Kennedy Assassination could answer). But for the most part, most Secret Stash shows are Chappelle reruns, below-average comedians who should have never gotten ''any'' HBO special, National Lampoon movies, ''Drawn Together'' mini-marathons and ''Girls Gone Wild'' ads.
Once in a while you get to see a series of Dave Chappelle reruns of his standup, and his former wildly successful ''[[Dave Chappelle|Chappelle's Show]]'' (which is ironic, since Viacom and their boys ran Chappelle out of the country and into Africa, for reasons only the Kennedy Assassination could answer). But for the most part, most Secret Stash shows are Chappelle reruns, below-average comedians who should have never gotten ''any'' HBO special, National Lampoon movies, ''Drawn Together'' mini-marathons and ''Girls Gone Wild'' ads.
==Video Games==
Believe it or not, ''Drawn Together'' has a [[Gloom]] map made for it.
<center>
<youtube>KRNsUVHOR0s</youtube>
</center>


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
Line 52: Line 67:
*''[[Mind of Mencia]]''
*''[[Mind of Mencia]]''
*''[[Dave Chappelle|The Chappelle Show]]''
*''[[Dave Chappelle|The Chappelle Show]]''
*''[[Sarah Silverman]]''
*''[[Sarah Silverman|The Sarah Silverman Program]]''
*''[[Amy Schumer|Inside Amy Schumer]]''
*''[[South Park]]''
*[[Viacom]]
*[[Viacom]]
*[[Rule 34]]
*[[Rule 34]]

Latest revision as of 14:07, 29 May 2021

The president of Comedy Central.
The president of Comedy Central.

Comedy Central or millennial news network, is, as opposed to what its name suggests, the most unfunny television network ever. It consists of The Daily Show (sans Jon Leibovitz), South Park, The Colbert Report The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore midnight with Chris Hardwick, nine-hour marathons of Mad TV Inside Amy Schumer, moar parody news programs than you can shake a dick at, and on the weekends, more BF-list movies than you could ever imagine. The only reason anybody watches the channel is to catch the new episodes of South Park and Futurama only to be found in the afternoon. Bad comedy movies and failed shows such as Too Late with Adam Carolla clog the airwaves with pestilence, boredom, and death. The only other show which made Comedy Central less unbearable to watch were reruns of Family Guy, but the station heads, in a true display of their infinite wisdom, decided to stop airing it.

Current Comedy Central Line-Up

DEE DEE DEE! DEE DEE DEE! BEANER! DEE DEE DEE! WETBACKS! DEE DEE DEE!

Notice how most of these are crossed out.

Targeted Demographic

Middle Schoolers

As everyone knows, middle school kids find curse words and the human reproduction cycle hilarious. Since simply saying them would make anyone under the age of 16 laugh it's an easy win for CC. That's pretty much why using shock value is really the only thing the "comedians" really do anymore.

SJWs/Millennials/or basically any white middle class brat that got Trump in office

If you're wondering why Gen Y has such a death boner with Faux News or any right wing figure for that matter, look no further. As stated earlier, when those middle school kids went to high school they started believing every word Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, or any late night cable show host said. Sooner or later they got to the point where they started to believe they were actual political commentators and started giving Don Quixote a run for his money. Similar to what was said earlier (about how anyone who says swear words or sex origins gets their own show) it's gotten to the point where pretty much anyone who says Trump's worse than Hitler for 22 minutes gets their own show. This however will slowly be coming to a close because more Americans (a.k.a the viewers parents and breadwinners) are getting rid of cable.

Femtards

Recently, after a decline in quality, Comedy Central figured since they're scraping the bottom of the barrel they might as well give Amy Schumer work. Thus, Inside Amy Schumer was born. Of course, no one outside of cult of misandry finds her funny and this isn't helping their quality. But CC got to pay the bills. And the customer's always right.

South Park fandom

The only time Comedy Central ever got post Gen X conservative viewers was when they aired South Park (because it's one of the few shows that actually mocks liberals). Everything went smoothly until the geniuses that are Trey Parker and Matt Stone decided to go after their God. Now their ratings are failing.

The Secret Stash

Comedy Central's Secret Stash can't show live-action nudity, but it CAN show you cartoon nudity.

The Comedy Central Secret Stash is basically Comedy Central playing stolen HBO specials, such as Eddie Murphy Raw, which is extremely dated and hardly funny, and the uncut version of Not Another Teen Movie aired very late at night. The only thing different is they can say words like "fuck" after 1 AM Sunday morning.

Once in a while you get to see a series of Dave Chappelle reruns of his standup, and his former wildly successful Chappelle's Show (which is ironic, since Viacom and their boys ran Chappelle out of the country and into Africa, for reasons only the Kennedy Assassination could answer). But for the most part, most Secret Stash shows are Chappelle reruns, below-average comedians who should have never gotten any HBO special, National Lampoon movies, Drawn Together mini-marathons and Girls Gone Wild ads.

Gallery

  • Obviously not from the Secret Stash because the penis is blurred out.
    Obviously not from the Secret Stash because the penis is blurred out.
  • Ironically, the VP of Comedy Central is the creator of Drawn Together, Mr. Jew Producer.
    Ironically, the VP of Comedy Central is the creator of Drawn Together, Mr. Jew Producer.
  • Comedy Central knows you like to see niggers in chains!
    Comedy Central knows you like to see niggers in chains!
  • They also know you like your niggers naked.
    They also know you like your niggers naked.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Comedy Central is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

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