|
|
| (4 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| [[Image:Inprogresss.jpg|thumb|[[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|Doing it wrong]].]]
| | #REDIRECT [[Cock Block]] |
| [thumb|This man has been cockblocked one too many times.]]
| |
| [[Image:Chastitycage.jpg|thumb|Some people take cockblocking too far...]]
| |
| [[Image:Chastitybelt.jpg|thumb|[[Cock Trapper]]s have been known to use cockblocking equipment as part of their schemes.]]
| |
| [[Image:Dlthorn13-cucumber-ass.jpg|thumb|[[Dorian Thorn]] never worries about getting cockblocked.]]
| |
| | |
| '''Cockblocking''' is an act of [[Trolling IRL]] in which a person does their best to interfere with a man's ability to lodge his dick inside some [[Vagoo|pussy]].
| |
| | |
| While this can be done for lulz, there are many other reasons cockblocking may be attempted. Other [[bitch|women]] will often try to ruin your chances with the girl you've spent all evening getting drunk enough to want to [[rape|fuck]] by talking her into leaving. This is not because she is concerned for a friend, but because she is either angry that you rejected [[fat|her]] or she is a raging [[lesbian]] trying to steal away your booty. [[Nice Guys]] will frequently engage in cockblocking when the woman they have been [[loser|trying to romance]] shows you some attention instead. This is in hopes that she will let them out of the [[Friend Zone]] and [[no|finally see them as the perfect boyfriends they are]].
| |
| | |
| ==False cockblocking==
| |
| It is important to note that there are many instances where one might think that they have been cockblocked but something else has actually happened. Most [[basement dweller]]s, [[13-year-old boy]]s, and [[you]] assume that if you actually leave your parent's house and talk to an actual woman, she will [[truth|throw herself on your dick]]. There is a great deal of confusion then when [[nerd|they]] are rejected and it is assumed that [[Anonymous|somebody]] has somehow overcame your [[lolwut|amazing charisma]].
| |
| | |
| For example:
| |
| | |
| *If another man takes her attention and succeeds in [[stick it in her pooper|sticking it in her pooper]], you are just full of [[fail]].
| |
| | |
| *[[Chris Hansen]] is not cockblocking your delicious [[loli]], you are a [[pedophilia|pedophile]] about to get [[V&]].
| |
| | |
| *[[Your mother]] is not cockblocking you, your family just isn't in to [[incest|that kind of thing]].
| |
| | |
| *[[Furry|Furfags]] always complain about being cockblocked via [[fursecution]]. This is not the case because all furries should be [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burned by fire]].
| |
| | |
| ==How to respond to cockblocking==
| |
| | |
| The best protection against cockblocking is to have a good [[Douchebag|wingman]] to run interferance for you. He can [[castration|take one for the team]] by sleeping with your target's [[Susan Boyle|ugly friend]]. While it might seem like a good idea to let your wingman [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|fight]] against the [[Neckbeard|neckbeard]] trying to ruin your evening, [[Lie|kicking his ass by yourself will impress the lady and she will do whatever you want]]. A good [[CP|cunt punt]] or [[Curb Stomp|curb stomp]] is the best way to accomplish this.
| |
| | |
| If all this fails and you find yourself [[dying alone|alone]], remember that's why [[prostitute]]s were invented. If you're broke, there are a number of cheap or free ways to relieve your blue balls. [[Man The Harpoons|Fat girls]] generally give it away for free and nobody will interfere out of pity for you. Depending how drunk you are, you might get picked up by the police and spend a romantic night with [[Bubba]]. Finally, if you are [[desperate]], [[a cat is fine too]].
| |
| | |
| ==How to cockblock somebody else==
| |
| | |
| To send any horny man into a fit of [[rage]], one need only apply the same tactics used to troll somebody online. Remember, flirting is [[The Internet is serious business|serious business]] and the slightest disruption will force your target to adopt [[masturbation|another strategy]]. Simply walking up to the two and asking if his girlfriend knows that he is cheating on her should be enough to send the girl running. However, more challenging cases involving [[slut]]s, [[Cock Trapper]]s, or his [[marriage|wife]] might require some advanced work. One must first find a female willing to ruin your target's game. As mentioned earlier, the fact that your target is not paying attention to [[attention whore|her]] means that she will automatically be insanely jealous. Have her angrily stomp over to him and either claim that she is [[pregnant|carrying his child]] or to warn the woman that she was [[almost raped]] by him. If that doesn't work, a swift kick in the balls will make sure that he can't perform tonight.
| |
| | |
| Extra points are awarded if you wind up fucking the girl he was after.
| |
| | |
| Needless to say women cannot be cockblocked as they lack a [[PINGAS|penis]]
| |
| {{sex}}
| |
| | |
| [[Category:Sex]]
| |
