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| The Netherlands
| | #REDIRECT [[The Netherlands]] |
| From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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| (Redirected from Netherlands)
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| Jump to: navigation, search
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| ROYAL DUTCH FAMILY. NATIONAL PRIDE. SIEG HEIL!
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| ROYAL DUTCH FAMILY. NATIONAL PRIDE. SIEG HEIL!
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| The queen-to-be Amalia is part German as clearly indicated the photo on the left.
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| Her deceased grandfather wrote a letter to Hitler during WW2 inquiring to gain control of power in The Netherlands after the war.
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| 'Netherlands' is not to be confused with 'Neverland'
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| Clogs, all of the Dutch wear these. If they don't, they will be raped at night by a mad goat.
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| Clogs, all of the Dutch wear these. If they don't, they will be raped at night by a mad goat.
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| The Netherlands is a low-lying country that has slowly been legalizing everything for the last 100 years. As of today you can purchase sex from Macedonian women, marry someone of the same sex, use controlled substances and kill your Grandma. However, you may not shove people, forget to tip your hat or steal bicycles. Do not confuse them with the Danish. They also have tulips. Also, sex with animals used to be OK if the animal didn't protest but was made illegal in 2008.
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| The combination of the dumbass people, its craplike geography and the lack of epic lulz have earned the Netherlands the title of: Asshole of Europe (and the world).
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| Contents
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| [hide]
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| 1 Geography
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| 2 The People
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| 3 History
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| 4 Culture
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| 5 Languages
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| 6 How to be offensive
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| 6.1 Offensive words
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| 6.2 Offensive phrases
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| 6.3 Words Americunts stole from the Dutch
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| 6.4 Economy
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| 6.5 The Dutch Justice Ministry
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| 6.6 Trivia
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| 6.7 People who live in the Netherlands
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| 6.8 Typical dutch music
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| [edit] Geography
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| The Netherlands has a striking resemblance to you, as it is low-lying, flat, small and sometimes it leaks. It used to be smaller but they built an extension. It lays directly on top of Belgium. Everyone in the Netherlands is so fucking tall and they all ride bikes and have their own bike lanes so they can even ride bikes in the Red Light District and sleep with a tranny.
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| [edit] The People
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| Prime Minister Balkenenenende. He's Harry Potter's dad and the brother of Bilbo Baggins.
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| Prime Minister Balkenenenende. He's Harry Potter's dad and the brother of Bilbo Baggins.
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| While the Dutch were once invaded by their inferiority complex-suffering neighbors Germany, they take it rather well and don't whine too much and say it hurts. They are also known as being a bit OCD by other dirty Europeans (also known as the French) because they bathe regularly.
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| Every dutchy is at least 5 meters tall and has at least 100 teeth, which he will proudly show off whenever he gets the chance.
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| The other people in The Netherlands, the Frisians have never been occupied by any country, mainly because there is absolutely nothing of value to find. During the German occupation of Teh Netherlands, when the Germans took all the food, most of the Frisians tried to keep the Dutch off their farms and away from the enormous surplus of food they had, mainly because they simply don't like to share. Furthermore, the Frisians plot to take over the world and/or become independent from The Netherlands. Therefore, the Frisians=Jews, and we all know that the fucking Kikes did WTC.
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| [edit] History
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| Anne Frank was arrested here by the Germans. The Germans didn't like 16 year old girls who kept journals and never left the house. Imagine how the Nazis would have reacted to Livejournal.
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| During the German occupation most of the Dutch people joined the Germans to fight France. When the allies landed in Normandy to drive back the Germans and the fun was over, they joined the allies.
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| [edit] Culture
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| Bassoon, or "Fagot" in Dutch, is not the national instrument of Holland.
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| Bassoon, or "Fagot" in Dutch, is not the national instrument of Holland.
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| They have clogs, tulips, windmills,pot and cheese. Also, liberal sex laws. Hookers and blow for all. Also a variation of Christmas as national holiday where a some old guy who looks like the pope. Tells his niggers slaves to deliver gifts to your house. If you have been naughty he'll spank you with a wooden plank and kidnaps you to spain where he'll lock you up in his basement. Nothing else. Who needs anything else?
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| [edit] Languages
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| The language most people speak is known as Dutch, or Nederlands if you happen to already speak it. The Dutch think it's the hardest language in the world to learn because no visiting foreigner has ever mastered it (if they even wanted to). What they fail to realise is that it sounds like you're speaking English while spitting and we can understand every word.
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| Unfortunately, since Dutch has far too many vowels and no one gives a shit, no one besides the Dutch can really be assed to learn it.
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| There even is a second language in the Netherlands, called Frisian; which belongs to the aforementioned Frisians the Dutch province, Friesland. It claims to be the root of a lot of modern languages, like English. However, the Dutch-speaking part of the country regards this to be not true, much like the rest of the world. Frisians are generally seen as annoying peasants who keep clinging to really really really (well, compared to American standards) old traditions, like going to church on Sunday and wearing 18th century clothing. Everybody in Friesland is either related or acquainted to each other. Other languages spoken in The Netherlands are Turkish and Morroccan. The Netherlands are also known for being a storehouse for Turks and Moroccans. These are usually looked upon by actual dutch people as niggers are in the US.
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| [edit] How to be offensive
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| Every dutch person knows the folowing words and uses them at least 50 times every day. If you are planning to become a dutchfag you should know them.
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| [edit] Offensive words
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| Kontneuker (kohnt neukher) Assfucker or gay
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| Eikel (aik hell) Smelly dickhead
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| Kutturk (cut turk) turkish [Nobody loves turkish people, they are liek jews.but than the poor version of them]
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| Poepeter (poewp ether) Shit eater
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| Kutmongool (cut moang goal) Disabled person
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| Kankerpedo (kunckerpaedo) Cancered Pedophile
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| Neukfout Fuckfault, aka a birth error.
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| [edit] Offensive phrases
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| Ik heb je moeder in haar kont geneukt. (Eek hep ja moedhar in hahr kohnt gehneuykt) I have fucked your mom in the ass.
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| Ik sla je vieze kutkop eraf en laat hem dan een zwerver beffen. (Eek slah ja visa cutkohp herrhaf an laht hehm dahn ein zwerfhar befhan) I will smack your filthy vagina look a like face loose, and than i will make it suck a homeless woman.
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| Hoi ik ben Henk (Hohi eek behn hank) Hello i'm henk
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| [edit] Words Americunts stole from the Dutch
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| fuck= fok (to breed)
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| Yankees= Jan Kees (some faggoty name they sold to the Americunts together with New york)
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| Dollar= Daalder (2 and a half Guilder in the old pre Euro system)
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| cookie= koekje (explains the ranting Britfags)
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| drug= droog (dry, from back when most medication wass in the form of dried herbs)
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| Santa Claus= Sinterklaas (the better version of Santa Claus, Sinterklaas uses slaves)
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| waffle= wafel (they had them first)
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| While pwning the African continent they also came up with Apartheid.
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| We can only come to the conclusion that all the Dutch are drug abusing homosexuals and Americunts have no culture of themselves.
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| [edit] Economy | |
| Dutch porn sites are enough to put you off their cheese.
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| Dutch porn sites are enough to put you off their cheese.
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| The import economy is driven mainly by tourism. The Dutch rake in tons of cash each year from Chinese tourists going to the Afrika Museum, college kids looking to eat space cakes, mid-western couples photographing the red-light district and teh gays wanting to register for marriage (though some of that business is being siphoned off by Canada and California).
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| The export economy was driven solely by the export of tulips, and sometimes tomatoes (see Trivia). They had the world market cornered but then flooded it with all their damn flowers. They recovered by trading guns and weapons to insurgent groups across Africa in exchange for diamonds, which they hoard and dole out in small amounts to desperate American Bridezillas who will pay or do anything for the biggest rock that will fit on their chub stubs.
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| Another notable fact is that they've successfully managed to keep the North Sea from wiping this country off the map (as well as keeping Atlantis dry). It can be assumed that if you need any dykes, bridges, dams or windmills built, there isn't a better country to turn to.
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| The Netherlands are also known for legalizedillegal, but non-punishable-, 18+-, taxed-, weed consumption, in licensed "coffee-shops" armed with camera's. This is effectively a place for Basement-dwellers where people clean up after you (very annoying). Its neighbours e.g. Germany are using this opportunity to get really really high or bring some green souvenirs for the whole family. Under influence of marijuhana you can even stand the horrible language of the inhabitants, that's probably the reason for the legalization.
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| "Mr. Powers i love gooooooooooooold"
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| [edit] The Dutch Justice Ministry
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| “
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| You'd think it should be OK for someone to update an entry on their favourite football star during lunch, but obviously we don't want people doing things that are tasteless or worse during working hours. Also, Ivvo Hommes, arborphiliac, foot fetishist and ministry spokesman
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| „
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| Holland's Justice Ministry has declared TOW to be closed to all of their employees as of November 18th due to the presence of lulz that were threat to the super cereal business the ministry regularly conducts. They alledge that as many as 800 cases of vandalism have been committed by the 30,000 employees of the Ministry. The example offered by the Ministry was an article about the Dutch nobility, adding the sentence "as is typical in such cases" to the line "her driver's license was not revoked."
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| The use of the word "typical" suggests that the Dutch Justice Ministry probably contributes to ED as well, given that this word can be found on almost typically on every ED page site wide.
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| [edit] Trivia | |
| Why stop at drugs and hookers?
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| Why stop at drugs and hookers?
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| 113% of the world production of tomato juice is from the Netherlands and made from onions. The remaining 24% comes from Spain.
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| Christian conservatives now rule the country, after the last government fell due to having a black female muslim Member of Parliament. So much for tolerance.
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| The Netherlands' main import is africans.
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| "Lul" actually means cock in Dutch, SRSLY. RLY.
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| Age of consent is 16 (except porn)
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| They sell marijuana and shrooms in shops (legal).
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| Abundant Public Urinals
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| [edit] People who live in the Netherlands
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| Some gay bitches who kill their grandmas and are stoned the whole fucking day.
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| Sandniggers
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| Feminists
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| Kankerlijer
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| Banaan
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| kutaap
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| Cuntflaps
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| Uncle jeezy666
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| Fank
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| Tinkebell
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| Geert Wilders
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| sjon
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| The residents of Bemmel
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| [edit] Typical dutch music
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