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Guild Wars 2: Difference between revisions

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Still shit. Now a bit better. Needs someone with knowledge of this shit, as I don't care.
 
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{{merge|Guild Wars}}
Known as Guild Wars Electric Boogaloo as nobody wanted this shitty game released except the piss-poor WoW haters, who secretly wish they were playing that abomination instead, but their parents can't afford to buy it for them, so this is their only contact with the outside world.


== Fantasy MMORPG ==
== NCSoft ==


Not to be confused with it's shitty predecessor ''Guild Wars''
NCSoft, NiggerCocksrSoft, is the parent company of ArenaNet, responsible for the <s>death of World of Warcraft</s> lol no still not as successful as that shit.


== Introduction ==
== How It Started. ==


Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, [[Pretty cool guy|ArenaNet]] announced the sequel to the [[Lies|instant hit game Guild Wars]]. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on [[JewTube|Youtube]]. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the [[capitalism|CGI animation of epic proportions]], [[You|You]] and [[Nobody|your friends]] decided to give it a try.
[[Image:Typicalfan5.jpg|right|thumbnail|alt=Your [[hipster|typical]] GW2 fan.|Your typical GW2 fan]]  


Here's what happened next.. *SPOILER ALERT*
Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, [[boring|ArenaNet]] announced the sequel to the [[Lies|instant hit game Guild Wars]]. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on [[JewTube|YouTube]]. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the [[capitalism|CGI animation of epic proportions]], [[You|You]] and [[Nobody|your friends]] decided to give it a try and then never return to the shitfest.  


== What happened in 2007 ==
You've played your fair share of MMO's in the past, but if one thing's for sure - once you go Guild Wars 2, you've got even less of a chance than [[Red Shirt Guy]] at getting laid.


Nothing much
GW2 is a unique, family-friendly MMORPG. It offers no levelling challenges, quests no longer exist and you have to pay for this shit.


== What happened in 2008 ==
== Classes ==
 
Meh..
 
== What happened in 2009 ==
 
No release date yet, maybe it was all a joke like Starcraft Ghost for the sole purpose of [[lulz|lulz]].
 
== What happened in 2010 ==
 
Rift came out and then died several minutes after the in-game launch. R.I.P
 
== What happened in 2011 ==
 
Nothing.. YET.
 
 
== Guild Wars 2 - FAQ ==


When will the game be released?<br>
Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as [[nigger|nigger traits]]
-The instant [[You|You]] lose your virginity.


Known Professions:


Is this the WoW-Killer?<br>
*[[Necrophilia|Necromancer]]- A combination of theft from Diablo 2's necromancer and WoW's warlock.
-WoW died already, didnt you get the memo.


*Elementalist - Standard run-of-the-mill mage, with no distinction from any other role-playing game.


Do I have the ability to own fellow noobs in the open world for the [[lulz|lulz]]?<br>
*Guardian - A homosexual Paladin from WoW, played by fat virgins who want to "guard", or "protect" internet girls.
-You couldnt win against a noob at Minecraft. And that isn't even a game, [[Amirite|amirite]]?


*Ranger - The same as a hunter in WoW. Even has a stupid pet.


When can I give the greedy bastards at NiggaSoft my money?<br>
*Thief - Exactly the same as the rogue in WoW.
-[[When it's ready|u mad]].


*Engineer - Gay, [[clone|steampunk-inspired engineer]] from Team Fortress 2


Can I jump?<br>
*Warrior - The same as warriors in every other RPG ever made, except this class can't use melee, since melee is terrible in Guild Wars 2, so you run around shooting shit with a rifle as a Warrior.
-Depends, did you delete [[this|System32]] yet?
 
== Classes ==
[[File:warning222.png]]


*Mesmer - A whore with the ability to disappear, much like the sales of this shitty WoW clone.


Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as [[nigger traits|nigger]]




== Human ==


A new unoriginal class. Not much information has been released regarding the race - though if you choose a british accent in character creation you will get a bonus racial ability - Riot! - Set fire to random buildings in the vicinity of Lion's Arch for a chance to get free loot, such as but not limited to the following;
'''Sylvari'''


-Dragon Long Sword
[[Image:bulba99.png|right|thumbnail|alt=Your [[hipster|typical]] GW2 fan.|Before & After]]
Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People''


-[[The Ashbringer|penis]]
The camwhore class. These native plant elves were actually based on a [[fact|transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur]] and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to [fags|blood elves]] in WoW.


-"32 LCD Television courtesy of your local electronics store that you broke into last night.


'''Norn'''


== Charr ==
Demographic: Anders B. Breivik


The [[dyke|lesbian]] furfag's delight a.k.a [[ManBearPig|Al Gore]] a.k.a [[mythical feline on roids|furry]]
The family-friendly norwegian vrykul race. Fun Fact: The guild wars theme song is actually the Norn's main theme.


[[Only the baddest of the badasses can bring themselves to play a race of such caliber, such manly toughness and prestige.|Chris Hansen]]
The norn, being [[goatse|this scary]] are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.




== Sylvari ==
'''Asura'''


The camwhore class. These native plant elves were originally based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to blood elves in WoW.
Demographic: Unemployed, 25-35 years old.


These are sure to be the most overrated and overplayed race on release. So we ask that [[You|You]] please make a Sylvari so the [[elite gamers|basement dweller]] can play a real class.


The [[basement dweller|elite gamers]] class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the race as a whole proves to be the badass gnome [[clone|equivalent]].


== Norn ==
'''Charr'''


Not much is yet known about this class, but we do know that the racials include an instant cast ability to kill 68 people on one 360 no-scope. The male model is loosely based on Anders /b/ Breivik.
Demographic: [[Atheists]], [[Furfags]], [[You|You]]


The norn, as a result are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.
A race of giant anthrpomorphized cat things, 'nuff said.


==IGN's best looking game of 2012==
[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics.jpg|thumb|left|Almost as good looking as Final Fantasy.. 6]][[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics4.jpg|thumb|Groundbreaking graphics. Except the ground which looks unconvincing like all hell.]]Since NCsoft couldn't develop a good looking game they decided that they would pay off the retards at IGN so that they would make it the best looking game of [[lolwut|2012]]. GW2 fags try to defend this shit, despite the gaming actually sporting worse textures than WoW and generally just looking like vomit. The character models are so poorly done that even the original [[Quake]] is laughing.
<center>[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics2.jpg]]<br />
'''Compare the face models and the ground textures, and the shit-ugly WoW is still victor'''<br /><br />
[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics3.jpg|400px]]<br />
'''Wow so edgy. Looks almost like a bad-looking PS1 game'''<br /><br /></center>


== Asura ==
== References ==
[http://www.arena.net/blog/kristen-perry-on-designing-and-redesigning-the-sylvari] - Bulbasaur 3D Design<br>
[http://www.arena.net/blog/] - ArenaNet Blog<br>
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR2Esy83MQ0] - IGNEntertainment Commando Spoof<br>
[http://www.mmo-champion.com/forums/] - Discussion thread under off-topic / videogames<br>
[http://www.guildwars2.com/] - Official site
[http://www.ign.com/wikis/best-of-2012/Best_PC_Graphics IGN winner]


The elite-gamer class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the class on a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent (Only this time, with a kick-ass model).
{{crap}}
[[Category: Gaming]]

Latest revision as of 12:42, 8 October 2013

It has been suggested that this article should be merged with Guild Wars. To find out moar, spam the goddamn talk page.

Known as Guild Wars Electric Boogaloo as nobody wanted this shitty game released except the piss-poor WoW haters, who secretly wish they were playing that abomination instead, but their parents can't afford to buy it for them, so this is their only contact with the outside world.

NCSoft

NCSoft, NiggerCocksrSoft, is the parent company of ArenaNet, responsible for the death of World of Warcraft lol no still not as successful as that shit.

How It Started.

Your typical GW2 fan.
Your typical GW2 fan

Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, ArenaNet announced the sequel to the instant hit game Guild Wars. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on YouTube. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the CGI animation of epic proportions, You and your friends decided to give it a try and then never return to the shitfest.

You've played your fair share of MMO's in the past, but if one thing's for sure - once you go Guild Wars 2, you've got even less of a chance than Red Shirt Guy at getting laid.

GW2 is a unique, family-friendly MMORPG. It offers no levelling challenges, quests no longer exist and you have to pay for this shit.

Classes

Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as nigger traits

Known Professions:

  • Necromancer- A combination of theft from Diablo 2's necromancer and WoW's warlock.
  • Elementalist - Standard run-of-the-mill mage, with no distinction from any other role-playing game.
  • Guardian - A homosexual Paladin from WoW, played by fat virgins who want to "guard", or "protect" internet girls.
  • Ranger - The same as a hunter in WoW. Even has a stupid pet.
  • Thief - Exactly the same as the rogue in WoW.
  • Warrior - The same as warriors in every other RPG ever made, except this class can't use melee, since melee is terrible in Guild Wars 2, so you run around shooting shit with a rifle as a Warrior.
  • Mesmer - A whore with the ability to disappear, much like the sales of this shitty WoW clone.



Sylvari

Your typical GW2 fan.
Before & After

Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People

The camwhore class. These native plant elves were actually based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to [fags|blood elves]] in WoW.


Norn

Demographic: Anders B. Breivik

The family-friendly norwegian vrykul race. Fun Fact: The guild wars theme song is actually the Norn's main theme.

The norn, being this scary are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.


Asura

Demographic: Unemployed, 25-35 years old.


The elite gamers class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the race as a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent.

Charr

Demographic: Atheists, Furfags, You

A race of giant anthrpomorphized cat things, 'nuff said.

IGN's best looking game of 2012

Almost as good looking as Final Fantasy.. 6
Groundbreaking graphics. Except the ground which looks unconvincing like all hell.

Since NCsoft couldn't develop a good looking game they decided that they would pay off the retards at IGN so that they would make it the best looking game of 2012. GW2 fags try to defend this shit, despite the gaming actually sporting worse textures than WoW and generally just looking like vomit. The character models are so poorly done that even the original Quake is laughing.


Compare the face models and the ground textures, and the shit-ugly WoW is still victor


Wow so edgy. Looks almost like a bad-looking PS1 game

References

[1] - Bulbasaur 3D Design
[2] - ArenaNet Blog
[3] - IGNEntertainment Commando Spoof
[4] - Discussion thread under off-topic / videogames
[5] - Official site IGN winner

This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.
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