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Guild Wars 2: Difference between revisions

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imported>Riftisawesom
imported>Cobaltcat
Still shit. Now a bit better. Needs someone with knowledge of this shit, as I don't care.
 
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{{links or death|[[File:460px-EquivampbySwiftpaw.jpg|40px]][[User:Equivamp|Equivamp]]<sup>[[User talk:Equivamp|talk]]</sup><sup>[http://formspring.me/Equivamp (Troll me here)]</sup> 21:28, 9 August 2011 (UTC)}}
{{merge|Guild Wars}}
== Fantasy MMORPG ==
Known as Guild Wars Electric Boogaloo as nobody wanted this shitty game released except the piss-poor WoW haters, who secretly wish they were playing that abomination instead, but their parents can't afford to buy it for them, so this is their only contact with the outside world.


Not to be confused with it's shitty predecessor ''[[Guild Wars|Guild Wars]]''
== NCSoft ==


== Introduction ==
NCSoft, NiggerCocksrSoft, is the parent company of ArenaNet, responsible for the <s>death of World of Warcraft</s> lol no still not as successful as that shit.


Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, [[Pretty cool guy|ArenaNet]] announced the sequel to the [[Lies|instant hit game Guild Wars]]. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on [[JewTube|Youtube]]. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the [[capitalism|CGI animation of epic proportions]], [[You|You]] and [[Nobody|your friends]] decided to give it a try.
== How It Started. ==


Here's what happened next.. *SPOILER ALERT*
[[Image:Typicalfan5.jpg|right|thumbnail|alt=Your [[hipster|typical]] GW2 fan.|Your typical GW2 fan]]


== The Wait Begins: 2007 ==
Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, [[boring|ArenaNet]] announced the sequel to the [[Lies|instant hit game Guild Wars]]. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on [[JewTube|YouTube]]. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the [[capitalism|CGI animation of epic proportions]], [[You|You]] and [[Nobody|your friends]] decided to give it a try and then never return to the shitfest.


ArenaNet finally called an end to GW1 and made the insanely stupid decision to announce Guild Wars 2 even before it had started developement, which has left most in anticipation for the game in a terribly isolated state for the past four years.
You've played your fair share of MMO's in the past, but if one thing's for sure - once you go Guild Wars 2, you've got even less of a chance than [[Red Shirt Guy]] at getting laid.  


No mainstream info was given out other than the game title itself.
GW2 is a unique, family-friendly MMORPG. It offers no levelling challenges, quests no longer exist and you have to pay for this shit.


== 2 years later.. ==
== Classes ==


No release date yet, <s>maybe it was all a joke like Starcraft Ghost for the sole purpose of [[lulz|lulz]].</s>
Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as [[nigger|nigger traits]]


<div style="text-align: center;">
Known Professions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35BPhT-KI1E
</div>


This and many other CGI quality trailers were released this year. This was way back before internal alpha testing - another reason that ArenaNet are master trolls for teasing through PAX and gamescon demo's, and keeping all of the goodies in house.
*[[Necrophilia|Necromancer]]- A combination of theft from Diablo 2's necromancer and WoW's warlock.


== Commando ==
*Elementalist - Standard run-of-the-mill mage, with no distinction from any other role-playing game.


Yet more trailers were published throughout the year - ArenaNet yet again managed to piss the entire future playerbase off by even publishing blogs, occasionally with more mini-teasers at ingame content.
*Guardian - A homosexual Paladin from WoW, played by fat virgins who want to "guard", or "protect" internet girls.


Somehow, we made it through this year. Only 5 more to go.
*Ranger - The same as a hunter in WoW. Even has a stupid pet.  


One interesting video from [[IGN|IGN]] trolled most of the retard plant-weeaboo / furfags as an April Fools prank, that featured a new class [[truth|that would've actually made the game way better]]
*Thief - Exactly the same as the rogue in WoW.


== What happened in 2011 ==
*Engineer - Gay, [[clone|steampunk-inspired engineer]] from Team Fortress 2


- ArenaNet starts publishing documentaries on the game content to shove it up the player's ass in yet another kind of way.<br>
*Warrior - The same as warriors in every other RPG ever made, except this class can't use melee, since melee is terrible in Guild Wars 2, so you run around shooting shit with a rifle as a Warrior.
- The 'Engineer' profession gets announced just before Comic-Con.
<br>
(Engineer is a watered down, family-friendly version of Commando. How does that make you feel?)


== Guild Wars 2 - FAQ ==
*Mesmer - A whore with the ability to disappear, much like the sales of this shitty WoW clone.


When will the game be released?<br>
-First quarter of 2012. Now that you've waited 4 years for the game to come out, [[2012|you can enjoy it whilst it lasts.]]




Is this the WoW-Killer?<br>
-WoW died already, didnt you get the memo.


'''Sylvari'''


Do I have the ability to own fellow noobs in the open world for the [[lulz|lulz]]?<br>
[[Image:bulba99.png|right|thumbnail|alt=Your [[hipster|typical]] GW2 fan.|Before & After]]  
-You couldnt win against a noob at Minecraft. And that isn't even a game, [[Amirite|amirite]]?
Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People''


The camwhore class. These native plant elves were actually based on a [[fact|transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur]] and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to [fags|blood elves]] in WoW.


When can I give the greedy bastards at NiggaSoft my money?<br>
-[[u mad|When it's ready]].


'''Norn'''


Can I jump?<br>
Demographic: Anders B. Breivik
-Yes. If you're still having issues try [[system32|this]] instead.


== Classes ==
The family-friendly norwegian vrykul race. Fun Fact: The guild wars theme song is actually the Norn's main theme.
[[File:warning222.png]]


The norn, being [[goatse|this scary]] are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.


Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as [[nigger|nigger traits]]


Known Professions:
'''Asura'''


Warrior<br>
Demographic: Unemployed, 25-35 years old.
Elementalist<br>
Necromancer<br>
Ranger<br>
Guardian<br>
Thief<br>
Engineer<br>
''Missingno'' (The eigth and final class hasnt been revealed yet)




'''Human'''
The [[basement dweller|elite gamers]] class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the race as a whole proves to be the badass gnome [[clone|equivalent]].
 
 
A new unoriginal class. Not much information has been released regarding the race - though if you choose a british accent in character creation you will get a bonus racial ability - Riot! - Set fire to random buildings in the vicinity of Lion's Arch for a chance to get free loot, such as but not limited to the following;
 
-Dragon Long Sword
 
-[[penis|The Ashbringer]]
 
-"32 LCD Television courtesy of your local electronics store that you broke into last night.


'''Charr'''
'''Charr'''


The [[lesbian|dyke]] furfag's delight a.k.a [[Al Gore|ManBearPig]] a.k.a [[furry|mythical feline on roids]]
Demographic: [[Atheists]], [[Furfags]], [[You|You]]
 
[[Chris Hansen|Only the baddest of the badasses can bring themselves to play a race of such caliber, such manly toughness and prestige.]]
 
'''Sylvari'''
''
Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People''
 
The camwhore class. These native plant elves were originally based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to blood elves in WoW.
 
These are sure to be the most overrated and overplayed race on release. So we ask that [[You|You]] please make a Sylvari so the [[basement dweller|elite gamers]] can play a real class.
 
== Norn ==
 
Not much is yet known about this class, but we do know that the racials include an instant cast ability to kill 68 people on one 360 no-scope. The male model is loosely based on Anders /b/ Breivik.


The norn, as a result are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.
A race of giant anthrpomorphized cat things, 'nuff said.


==IGN's best looking game of 2012==
[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics.jpg|thumb|left|Almost as good looking as Final Fantasy.. 6]][[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics4.jpg|thumb|Groundbreaking graphics. Except the ground which looks unconvincing like all hell.]]Since NCsoft couldn't develop a good looking game they decided that they would pay off the retards at IGN so that they would make it the best looking game of [[lolwut|2012]]. GW2 fags try to defend this shit, despite the gaming actually sporting worse textures than WoW and generally just looking like vomit. The character models are so poorly done that even the original [[Quake]] is laughing.
<center>[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics2.jpg]]<br />
'''Compare the face models and the ground textures, and the shit-ugly WoW is still victor'''<br /><br />
[[File:Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics3.jpg|400px]]<br />
'''Wow so edgy. Looks almost like a bad-looking PS1 game'''<br /><br /></center>


== Asura ==
== References ==
[http://www.arena.net/blog/kristen-perry-on-designing-and-redesigning-the-sylvari] - Bulbasaur 3D Design<br>
[http://www.arena.net/blog/] - ArenaNet Blog<br>
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR2Esy83MQ0] - IGNEntertainment Commando Spoof<br>
[http://www.mmo-champion.com/forums/] - Discussion thread under off-topic / videogames<br>
[http://www.guildwars2.com/] - Official site
[http://www.ign.com/wikis/best-of-2012/Best_PC_Graphics IGN winner]


The elite-gamer class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the class on a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent (Only this time, with a kick-ass model).
{{crap}}
[[Category: Gaming]]

Latest revision as of 12:42, 8 October 2013

It has been suggested that this article should be merged with Guild Wars. To find out moar, spam the goddamn talk page.

Known as Guild Wars Electric Boogaloo as nobody wanted this shitty game released except the piss-poor WoW haters, who secretly wish they were playing that abomination instead, but their parents can't afford to buy it for them, so this is their only contact with the outside world.

NCSoft

NCSoft, NiggerCocksrSoft, is the parent company of ArenaNet, responsible for the death of World of Warcraft lol no still not as successful as that shit.

How It Started.

Your typical GW2 fan.
Your typical GW2 fan

Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, ArenaNet announced the sequel to the instant hit game Guild Wars. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on YouTube. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the CGI animation of epic proportions, You and your friends decided to give it a try and then never return to the shitfest.

You've played your fair share of MMO's in the past, but if one thing's for sure - once you go Guild Wars 2, you've got even less of a chance than Red Shirt Guy at getting laid.

GW2 is a unique, family-friendly MMORPG. It offers no levelling challenges, quests no longer exist and you have to pay for this shit.

Classes

Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as nigger traits

Known Professions:

  • Necromancer- A combination of theft from Diablo 2's necromancer and WoW's warlock.
  • Elementalist - Standard run-of-the-mill mage, with no distinction from any other role-playing game.
  • Guardian - A homosexual Paladin from WoW, played by fat virgins who want to "guard", or "protect" internet girls.
  • Ranger - The same as a hunter in WoW. Even has a stupid pet.
  • Thief - Exactly the same as the rogue in WoW.
  • Warrior - The same as warriors in every other RPG ever made, except this class can't use melee, since melee is terrible in Guild Wars 2, so you run around shooting shit with a rifle as a Warrior.
  • Mesmer - A whore with the ability to disappear, much like the sales of this shitty WoW clone.



Sylvari

Your typical GW2 fan.
Before & After

Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People

The camwhore class. These native plant elves were actually based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to [fags|blood elves]] in WoW.


Norn

Demographic: Anders B. Breivik

The family-friendly norwegian vrykul race. Fun Fact: The guild wars theme song is actually the Norn's main theme.

The norn, being this scary are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.


Asura

Demographic: Unemployed, 25-35 years old.


The elite gamers class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the race as a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent.

Charr

Demographic: Atheists, Furfags, You

A race of giant anthrpomorphized cat things, 'nuff said.

IGN's best looking game of 2012

Almost as good looking as Final Fantasy.. 6
Groundbreaking graphics. Except the ground which looks unconvincing like all hell.

Since NCsoft couldn't develop a good looking game they decided that they would pay off the retards at IGN so that they would make it the best looking game of 2012. GW2 fags try to defend this shit, despite the gaming actually sporting worse textures than WoW and generally just looking like vomit. The character models are so poorly done that even the original Quake is laughing.


Compare the face models and the ground textures, and the shit-ugly WoW is still victor


Wow so edgy. Looks almost like a bad-looking PS1 game

References

[1] - Bulbasaur 3D Design
[2] - ArenaNet Blog
[3] - IGNEntertainment Commando Spoof
[4] - Discussion thread under off-topic / videogames
[5] - Official site IGN winner

This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.
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