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PC Gamer: Difference between revisions

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''Not to be confused with the magazine "'''PC Gamer'''", which is too shitty to have its own article.''
#REDIRECT [[PC Master Race]]
 
[[image:PC_Gaming_Master_Race.jpg‎|thumb|right|This is what PC Gamers actually believe.]]
 
[[Image:broken_computer.jpg|thumb|right|This is what happens when you overclock your PC.]]
 
[[Image:TurboButton.jpg|thumb|right|PC Gamers love the [[VTEC_Just_Kicked_In_Yo|Turbo]] button.]]
 
[[Image:PcCaseMod.jpg|thumb|right|If your PC looks like this, you are a [[fag|PC Gamer]].]]
 
[[Image:PcGamerMouse.jpg|thumb|right|Standard PC Gamer mouse. Allows you to play FPS one-handed, so you can [[fap]] while you drool all over the graphics in [[Crysis]].]]
 
'''PC Gamers''' are [[basement dweller|HARDCORE GAMERS]]. They are graphics hardware [[Nazi|Nazis]] who [[fap]] to [[Crysis|games that require a retardedly expensive PC to run]]. Only people suffering from a serious lack of brains would reasonably spend [[over 9,000]] dollars to soup up some shitty eMachines or Dell monstrosity that will become obsolete within a month for the sole purpose of [[nerd|playing games]]. PC Gamers are more concerned with [[Shit nobody cares about|benchmarks, specs and hardware]] than the games themselves, which is why they play shitty [[Crysis|tech demos]] disguised as games.
 
==PC Gamers: Identifiable Traits ==
PC gamers are an unusual breed, a subspecies of [[Fag|''Nerdus americanus'']], which are renowned for their game [[molesting|loving]]. However, PC gamers are even [[gay|gayer]] than other species of [[nerds]]. Most specimens of gamer tend to be [[basement dwellers]]. A PC gamer's lair is often a dark, shit-smelling room in the basement of their mother's house.
 
These types of gamers are very [[you|undateable]]. Most PC Gamers settle for [[Waifu|a 2D drawing of a loli]], or pictures of [[camwhores]]. When gamers do get [[hawt]] n' raunchy, they often engage in [[facepalm|facepalmingly]] embarrassing [[cybersex]] with [[fat]] [[furries]], which is often called [[fap]]ping to [[Habbo Hotel]].
[[lie|Girls can be PC gamers too.]]
 
They tend to be somewhat belligerent, while mainly comparing their computers like they would compare their [[dong|dicks]], even when the reality is that their penis is as useless as their computer.
 
[[Angry_German_Kid|Most PC Gamers]] will fly into a [[rage]] over certain technological limitations that causes serious [[butthurt]] when a [[hacker]] comes into play.
 
Most games that PC Gamers play are [[fps|first-person shooters]]. The object of these games is to kill as many people [[IRL]] to become heroes. Many [[fanboys]] have taken up this venerable challenge and all have become [[an hero|an heroes]] to satisfy their needs for losing their [[Mitchell Henderson|iPod]].
 
Some PC Gamers will overclock their PCs. This means they are willing to put thousands of dollars worth of hardware at risk for a few extra FPS in ''[[Skyrim]]'', and a slightly larger [[Epenis|e-penis]].
 
PC Gamers are also known to buy cases with transparent sides and fill them with pointless neon lights, in order to show off how [[fail|awesome]] their [[crap|gaming rig]] is.
 
== Building Your Own ==
Possibly the most outstanding showing of nerdom possible is to actually build your own computer, with the exception of doing the aforementioned and putting fucking Linux on it.
 
== Companies That Will Build for You ==
Here are the two companies that are most likely to fuck [[you|you]] in the ass.
[[Shit|Alienware]], a [[Bitch| subsidiary]] of [[Jews|Dell]], is a computer building company that [[Apple|charges way too fucking much for its computers]]. Related closely to iBuyPower, CyberPowerPC, and Vigor Gaming (lol robbed), Alienware's objective is to [[buttsecks|fuck you in the ass]] with prices. With computers that cost ten grand that can be built by Nerd Kings for a mere one and a half, and nearly all the publicity as opposed to how to actually build one's computer, it is obvious why so many console users look down on PC users as rich, stupid, or otherwise nerdy as hell. Given the fact that most console players are weed-smoking niggers that you meet over [[Halo|Halo 3]] or [[Call of Duty|Cock of Doody 4]], it's also a good note that nobody gives a shit what they think. They'll [[Dying Alone|die alone]].
=== Alienware ===
Though the Alienware case is badass. You can change the colour of LEDs on the front panel that make the case glow. The only drawback is the lack of the case window, and owning the case makes you look like a PC newfag.
 
=== Vigor Gaming ===
With flagship rig the [[Fat|Colossus]] beginning at six grand, you can be sure that this is the only company giving Alienware such a strong running for who is going to [[Jews|pwn your money the most]]. However, with the [[Ninja|Stealth]] model beginning at $600, they do attempt to redeem themselves. Too bad the Stealth is a piece of [[shit|shit]]. Vigor gaming's warehouse was burglarized by niggers around early 2010 due to [[Rudolph Zurick|shitty security]] and is now permanently closed down.
 
== Windows ==
[[Windows|Windows]] is the primary OS of PC gaming, although recently [[Steam|Steam]] has moved to be compatible with MacOs and [[Ubuntu]] as well. [[Unwarranted self-importance|PC gamers usually display an extreme adeptness for working with and cleaning, and basically performing routine maintenance on Windows other users are too lazy or stupid to do, and will often brag uncontrollably about it]].
 
==Things PC gamers like to do==
*Play [[World of Warcraft]].
*[[impossible|Use a mouse to play fps games]].
*Show off their [[series of tubes|water cooling system]].
*Download patches.
*[[Computer Science III|Update their drivers]].
*[[steroids|Overclock]] their PC, putting thousands of dollars worth of hardware at risk.
*Make mods, maps, and skins for someone else's game instead of putting that time and effort into [[Lazy Fuck|making their own game]]
*Use a [[Ubuntu|shitty operating system]] instead of [[Windows|Windows]].
*Complain about consolization of games.
*Never shower, socialize, or get laid
*Get [[virus|viruses]].
*Buy $5,000 video cards every month.
*Run benchmark tests.
*Proselytize about how great PCs are over consoles every chance they get
*Put [[pimp my ride|gay neon lights]] on their cases.
*Use [[Garry's Mod]] to make [[furry|zoophilic]] Renamon and Alyx strap-on porn.
*[[hypocrite|Pirate console games and run them in emulators.]]
*Realize that the PC has NO EXCLUSIVE GAEMS. T_T
 
==PC Gamers buy $5000 gaming rigs for this==
<center><youtube>4ViHA8Leu24</youtube></center>
== Gallery ==
 
{{collapsegallery|Gallery of PC Gaming Fail|Gallery of PC Gaming Fail|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Pcgamer.jpg
Image:hawtgraphics.jpg|Crysis aka graphics [[pr0n]].
Image:Crysis_nigger.jpg|You got any chikenz in ur PC?
File:PC games for the true gamer.jpg
Image:gamer.png|Yet another typical PC Gamer.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:AznPcGamer.jpg|What PC Gamers fap to.
Image:GrannyPcGamer.jpg|Even your [[grandma]] is a PC Gamer.
Image:Pcgamerlol.jpg|PC Gamer with leet [[AIDS]]-colored PC case.
Image:QuadSLI.jpg|Not even this much graphics hardware can keep you from [[fail|failing]].
File:Computer series of tubes.JPG|The cooling system in this PC consists of a [[series of tubes]]...
</gallery>}}
 
== Links ==
*[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.67044 Some britfag asking for it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBVmfIUR1DA Yes, ''that'' video.]
*[http://www.gamespot.com/pc/sim/streetcleaningsim/?tag=nl.e579 '''Street cleaning simulator''' gets a 9.5 out of 10] Your dream job in a simulator.
*[http://www.gamesinasia.com/chinese-couple-sells-their-children-to-traffickers-uses-the-money-to-buy-in-game-items/ Chinese couple sells their kids to fund gaming habit]
 
== See also: ==
*''[[Gamers]]''
*''[[Fanboys]]''
*''[[Valve]]''
*''[[Crysis]]''
*''[[Crysis 2]]''
*''[[Battlefield]]''
*''[[Killing Floor]]''
*''[[Modding]]''
*''[[Garry's Mod]]''
 
{{Gaming}}
{{stub}}
[[Category:Subcultures]]

Latest revision as of 16:35, 19 May 2022

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