MySQL

This article needs moar Everything. You can help by adding moar Everything.

MySQL is a huge Microsoft spreadsheet that people take classes for because they cant use consoles. Built for speed at the expense of getting your database corrupted. Correct usage of MySQL will result in a database error. If you cannot access Encyclopedia Dramatica, you should blame MySQL all the time, even if you don't understand what it is. It will make you look smart. Really (see below for proof).

What the hell is SQL?

• In short, SQL is a Database.
• What the hell is a Database?
  • A database is an organized collection of information.
  • The information can be names, phone numbers, passwords, posts between users, etc.
  • For example: online communities rely heavily on databases to keep track of user login information.
  • Pretty much every bit of persistent and modifiable information on a website resides in a database.
  • The database not only stores this information, but organizes it, and facilitates easy searching of its entries.
• So what the hell is SQL?
  • MySQL is a particular type of Database.
  • Just as you can have different kinds of containers for storing items, you can have different kinds of databases for storing information.
  • Every container has its own characteristics, pros and cons.
  • MySQL happens to offer a lot of things that many developers like, and as a result, has become something of a standard in the web industry.

Correct Usage

Q: Is search working?
A: No, it is because of MySQL.

List of Things To Put in a MySQL Database

• Encyclopedia Dramatica
• IRC quotes
• Gay assignments on databasing that spell out a rude word if you use font size 1.
• Pr0n
• Teh internets
• The Universe
• Shitty MMO private server databases

List of Things not to Put in a MySQL Database

• Kusaba
• 4chan
• Myspace
• Facebook
• Ruby on Fails

Database Problems

• Database Error
• SQL Injection

See Also

• Oracle Corporation

MySQL is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.