Afterburner

Afterburner's family portrait.

Afterburner is a regular on the Transformers message board Allspark. His posts are notable for their passive-aggressiveness; he seems hellbent on spreading his white genes to as many others as possible. He is quick to attack others, yet when those people respond, he falls apart like a lynched darkie, only whinier. He is also extremely paranoid, believing that a multitude of black men have been conspiring to destroy him from the moment he showed up on the Allspark. His real name is Cletus and he apparently works at a Church's Chicken. No one has ever seen a photo of him, but it is presumed that he is either very fat, very skinny, mexican, italian, spanish, mediterranean, or alien, has never had a woman, and masturbates quite often.

Sometime last Thursday, he began feeling jealous of longtime fan Hooks's popularity on the board, and started bashing him in creative ways, mostly about his race, because Afterburner hates them negroes.

Geeky flamewars ensued, and the argument spilled onto Hooks' drama-filled LiveJournal, where Afterburner stopped posting under his real name and became an anonymous pu55y. Eventually he began sending Hooks threats of legal action, hacking, slander, libel, lynching, raping, fellating, dismembering and calling the cops on him because he's black. Sadly, the poor cracker actually carried through with his threats, or at least pretended to. Now Hooks is scared to attend the gay robot convention due to fearing for his safety from a bunch of honkies with ropes and torches.

Unfortunately for Afterburner, Hooks is a rich jigaboo, and is currently suing the jizz-stained pants off him. If this succeeds, it may well be the first internet lawsuit to actually be tried in an IRL court. The settlement will likely include Afterburner being forced to attend the gay robot convention in blackface, as well as Hooks taking all of his toys and driving over them in his brand new H3 with the spinning 22s, possibly while listening to gangsta rap. Because Hooks is a coon.

As of 2008, Afterburner has turned the tables on Hooks. Afterburner is currently suing him for various gang-related crimes, most involving drugs, Glocks, and stank-ass hoes. Afterburner has claimed this will make him "King of the robot-lovers." Whatever that means. He has been quoted as saying "Transformers fandom will not tolerate crime and therefore no blacks."

External Links

• Hooks's journal. Sadly, most recent drama was deleted for legal reasons because whitey was coming after me.
• Check out this site and search Hooks. Afterburner was forced to go to a scrub site to bitch about his hatred of black peoples/crime.