Aircraftkiller

Aircraftkiller's mugshot. He has trouble looking into the camera.

Aircraftkiller (aka ACK - Powerword Jonathan Holmes) is an internet person who has managed to incite more drama than you can fit onto the average Livejournal. He spent most of his spare time pretending to be a good mapper for a nearly dead game by the name of Command & Conquer: Renegade shit game, and a mod called A Path Beyond an even shittier mod. He still continues his faggotry to this day.

In the past few years alone, he's managed to:

• Insult everyone and everything associated with Niggers.
• Say the word nigger at least 10 times a day, in song, even!
• Invent a Japanese name for himself and not tell anyone it, then claim it was his real name and that his actual real name was a fake one

He owns both a Livejournal and a DeviantART page.

I DESLIKE YOU

A noteworthy earlier troll he made was to make claims about his mapping talents that he made kids mad over, then enraged anyone who pointed this out in the most obvious way possible: Attacking their grammar and intelligence. This led to the creation of the now famous "I DESLIKE YOU" post, in which the offended party wrote a poorly worded retort, attacking Aircraftkiller in a hilarious fashion. The post, still viewable in the Renegade Public Forums' Hall of Fame, has been made into both a flash presentation and a ytmnd.

His real name

Aircraftkiller made his real name known to all for years. Then, in a tragic series of events where someone figured out that his WOL account, Tankcmdr6 (the name he used to play shit games on), had the password "NIGGERS" associated with it, he was forced to change accounts. He picked a new name, "JupiterKS". Having always believed that he was a Great Knight, sent from Jupiter to slay the great nigger beasts of our time. However, when questioned about the "KS" part, he merely stated that it was his real name, which he wasn't going to tell anyone. Aircraftkiller's real name, at least according to the state of Florida, has the initials "J.H.". Aircraftkiller decided to pick a new real name for himself, a Japanese name most likely stemming for his love of nigger slaying, and not tell anyone about it. Many niggers were slain, and not a single fuck was given that day.

His first girlfriend

Aircraftkiller's first girlfriend was born with a near fatal lung disease, which nearly caused her to die on several occasions. At some point, ACK managed to convince this poor soul that he wasn't that much of a douche and declared his love for her. Then she died during a fatal operation on her lungs. Months went by, ACK made regular updates to his Livejournal about how he could feel her presence watching over him. He wrote about how objects that had significant meaning to them both mysteriously disappeared, taken by her spirit to remind her of him. He even had mysterious dreams, where he was protecting her as the Knight from Jupiter. This dream was clearly a sign that she was with him at all times, that she cared for him. Or so he wrote. Then she came back to life. His sort of now ex reappeared some time later, alive and well. As it turns out, the operation was a complete success and she was simply recovering the whole time, it was her sister that lied about her death, just so she could get close to the guy that they both were pursuing. ACK, being the true douche that he is, saw this as a sign of true love and announced his undying love for her instead. They broke up some time later.

Sarah Meadows

His second girlfriend, whom ACK decided that he would marry less than a month after meeting her, eventually got sick of him for being a lazy bastard who never helped around the house. It didn't help that Sarah was also a compulsive liar and a thief, who managed to steal money from Aircraftkiller's mother while Aircraftkiller and Sarah were living together. On top of that, it was also reported that Sarah was an Army deserter that barely managed to escape being prosecuted to PMITA prison.

While living with Aircraftkiller in Indiana, not only did she cheat on him but she also did it with men over the Internet while fucking him every night for weeks at a time. Attention whoring comes naturally to Sarah Meadows. Her shitty artwork can also be found (in true attention whore style, making shitty fan art of Zelda and Sailor Moon) on DevianTART.

The Pretty Girl Within

Aircraftkiller's authenticated biography (cover shown)

Aircraftkiller, who claimed to be completely in love with his second girlfriend, bought her presents, as every good boyfriend would do. From ebay he bought the most beautiful dresses he could find. His second girlfriend, who for social integrity purposes will remain anonymous, received these dresses gladly.

One day, after a nap, she came into her bedroom and found her dresses, pantyhoses, shoes and more sprawled out on the bed. She assumed he was seeing a girl, which was not that bad in itself as the whole relationship was one big façade to make him look good to begin with. Looking for an explanation for this phenomenon, his girlfriend went looking for Aircraftkiller, who shortly thereafter walked into the front door in his underwear. When inquired as to his recent whereabouts, Aircraftkiller shrugged it off with a generic "Nowhere". As for the women's clothing on the bed, he told her they were meant for her.

Later on she was looking for some pictures from their shared digital camera on Aircraftkiller's computer, and ran across a folder that contained pictures that are best left unseen for everyone. Recoiling in horror, Aircraftkiller's second girlfriend laid her eyes on actual, high resolution photographs of Aircraftkiller wearing aforementioned dresses Aircraftkiller bought - not for her, but for himself. Upon inquiry, Aircraftkiller explained his girlfriend that she wouldn't understand why he dressed up like the pretty little girl he secretly was on the inside, because she did not understand how it was to live as a man, knowing you should have been born a woman. In the process he blamed God, because He, in his infinite wisdom, decided that Aircraftkiller must know what it's like to be on the other side. Truly, the LORD works in mysterious ways.

A Festering Boil

The day following the airing of Fox 11's investigative report on Anon, Aircraftkiller decided he'd prove his intellectual superiority to the world by making the following statement about 4Chan:

This whole "lulz" thing is so fucking stupid. I feel like my IQ drops a point every time I see someone say "im t3h lulz with OTHER INTERNET FUCKHATTERY BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT ANYTHING WITTY ON MY OWN TO IMPRESS MY E-FRIENDS" 4chan is a gigantic festering boil on the ass of the Internet, and it hurts badly. - Jonathan "Niggerkiller" Holmes

But apparently that wasn't enough:

I'm glad you didn't fall into the mind trap of Internet retardation. I think within a few years the people that say "lulz t3h teh moar" etc will be diagnosed with some kind of terminal illness, sad as it may be. - Jonathan "Niggerkiller" Holmes

The quotes can be found (yes, even after all the incidents he's still permitted to view the forums) here.

His Starving cats

Aircraftkiller's plea for money came in the shape of sympathy for his cats. Image subtext by Steppo

Aircraftkiller made a plea one day for donations. He stated that he, his girlfriend and his cats, were starving and needed money for food. He manages to rake in quite a considerable sum of money and it wasn't until Sarah decided to tell the community, that it came to light that he had lied about the whole thing. The donation money was spent on games and porn, which he didn't even have the decency to share with Sarah at the time.

See Also

• Retard
• Butthurt
• Fail
• Faggot

External Links

• [1] ACK's devianTART account. Newsflash! ACK wants to be part of an army simulator
• [2] ACK's fail site
• [3] HQ of a network of shit mods that ACK is part of. A hidden gem of the internet where thousands of aspies and retards just like ACK meet and play with their with their mods