User:Ronald-Ann/Patrick Swift Read

/!\ WARNING /!\ Ronald-Ann/Patrick Swift Read was written by /b/tards about some "epic" shit they'll forget about in two weeks. You can help by removing all memes, porn, in-jokes, 13-year-old boyisms, and turn this into a decent page.

Patrick Swift Read

Patrick Read is a blithertarian trained conspiracy theorist operating out of a roach infested shanty somewhere along the side of an abandoned railroad line in southeast Virginia.

The last (syphilis induced sterility)(due to gay raep) in a long line of drunken, dimwitted Irishmen expelled from their home country for the betterment of the gene pool during the 1850s, night after night Read pours his ineffective semen out onto the floorboards of his shack and his equally ineffective words flood the internets via @SwiftRead

His only relief from the endless torment of mockery and trolling the internets bring him is the hour in which he simultaneously faps to Yaoi while hand cranking a radio that permits him to listen to Alex Jones.

Unable to maintain gainful employment due to being (shit, how do we explain his employment #fail?)

Like we said, bat shit crazy. That's no photoshop and it was forwarded to the Secret Service. He'll get cuffed and stuffed before we get this article right.

A Scanner Darkly? Yeah, this guy is basically Charles Freck come to life. Especially the part about discovering masturbation in the sixth grade.

Nightly Circle Jerk

Patrick frequently co-hosts Greg W. Howard's a nightly circle jerk on Twitter. Attendees may include

@keithdatrucker
@Dr_Rose
@burntpowder
@slingbrush

The circle of FAP.