Bullshit

Not to be confused with Crap, Shit, or Penn and Teller's show of the same name.

	“	All Wikipedia articles and other encyclopedic content must be written from a neutral point of view (NPOV), representing fairly and, as much as possible, without bias all significant views (that have been published by reliable sources).	„
	—TOW, bullshitting.

BULLSHITTING INTENSIFIES

The business equivalent of a magic spell. Note the lack of proper grammar: 'leverage' should be 'leverages'. This fucking millionaire literally cannot write correct english. Moreover, something cannot be both 'distributed' and 'centralised'; and unless the US patent office is issuing patents for management trends, a 'methodology' cannot be 'proprietary'.

The more-easily recognisable variety of bullshit

Bullshit is when you lie, but fail at it. Bullshitting is the aforementioned failure, and is considered a pretty good way of picking up some pussy at the local bar on a Friday night- by describing your rich, handsome cousin's life as your own, for example. Bullshit can also be used to describe nonsense, but is rarely used to do so.

Bullshit is when you lie, everyone knows that you are lying, everyone knows that you know that they know (etc), but it just doesn't matter because you are powerful enough to do whatever the fuck you want and what are they going to do about it? For instance, if you get ass-reamed by a large company and complain, you'll get a letter back saying "XYZ corp cares about all our customers", even though the fact that you just got ass-reamed demonstrates that they don't. It's bullshit. They know it's bullshit, you know it's bullshit, everyone knows its bullshit, but so what? It just doesn't matter, because there's nothing you can do about it anyway. This is what distinguishes bullshit from lying - bullshit isn't expected to be belived.

Etymology

Where does the word come from? Well, dur-hey, it comes from that brown fecal matter that cows produce when you've fed them too much beef, cheese, or small children (no shit).

The origins of the word "bullshit" do not require amazing deductive powers of internet nerds to deduce where the word came from. Why!? Just look at the word for a second...okay? Now find a cow and place your head directly under its ass (presumably after you have fed it large quantities of Chinese toilet paper). You must wait for at least 100 minutes until said cow delivers its large brown envelope. Note: this process is the only way to avoid becoming utterly confused about the true meaning of "bullshit."

If you're still confused, here are some more facts: At first, people used "humanpoop", but seeing as how the word "human" was not a four-letter word and to compare a human to a human would not be as lulzworthy as comparing a human to an animal, a new word had adopted. Also, people refused to use the word "poop" because it made them sound like a 13-year-old boy. Next, people started using "cowpie", but that was too unpopular considering that there were too many insults already found in the Insults for Dummies handbook that already used the word "cow" and there were too many complaints that the stuff did not even taste like pie. Additionally, "cow" did not pass the four-letter litmus test. Finally, after much trial and error, people switched to using the "bullshit." And there you have it, the history of bullshit.

It would also be worth noting that everything you have just read in the paragraph above is complete bullshit.

Bullshit of Note

• "The Bible is the most logical book ever written."
• "I am the leader of Anonymous!"
• "It's NOT a fucking Global Scam. We're going to SUE YOUR ASS!"
• "I am not a crook."
• "Read my lips. No new taxes."
• "ICP kicks ass!!!!!!"
• "Juggalos are actually pretty awesome people".
• "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
• "Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction."
• "I love my wife, and stand with her during her candidacy."
• "I did not smuggle drugs into school."
• "FUCK YOU I'M A DRAGON!"
• "I'm not running my campaign based on playing off white guilt."
• "I'm not a dogfucking, subhuman racist lunatic! Really, I'm not!"
• "I did not rape and kill a women in 1990."
• "Racism stopped in the 1960s."
• "What you're doing to us is exactly the same as what Hitler did to the Jews!"
• "I'm not stealing donations to flee to Mootxico, honest."
• "Fair and balanced."
• "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction".
• "Boxxy totally cares about everyone on the internet, she's didn't create Catiewayne.com just to sell gullible basement dwellers her used crap and convince us to go see a shitty movie that's going to suck balls".
• "We've really moved...beyond sensationalist journalism."
• "Help! We're being oppressed!"
• "Being Gay is normal."
• "I'm not a racist, that's what's so insane about this!"
• "He was a good boy! He dindu nuffin!"
• "I'm not too old to be President."
• "My band started playing the wrong song and I didn't know what to do, so I'd thought I'd do a hoedown!"
• Wikipedia is a reliable website
• "Circumcision does not affect sexual function, sensation, desire, or pleasure."
• Wikipedia Admins are cute, cuddly, and sexy.
• There are certainly negros on the internet
• There are certainly women on the internet
• "I have psychic powers."
• "I'm one of the top artists!!"
• "I'm the Kurt Cobain of this generation."
• "Nickelodeon needs to fucking die!"
• "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
• "Buddha was black"
• "Cultural appropriation"

Gallery

• 
• 
  That's right! You can get buff like this old fuck by taking a pill!
• 
  Certain people can be considered bullshit at all times.
• 
  "There are no homosexuals in Iran. I don't know where you heard that."

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External Links

• Best Bullshit site
• Now in TV form!