View source for User:Mr Jonzz/Archive1

[[image:GOOD_SHIT.gif|right]]

<br>

== Things to Maek and Do! ==
[[Image:TooMuchHair.jpg|thumb|right|Too much hair... (;_;)]]
1) Obtain Gypsy Female

2) Extract Hymen

3) Fry using Olive Oil

4) Secrete within Gypsy Camp

5) Call Police

6) Report Cannibalism

----

If you would like moar information in relation to [[vagina|hymens]] then please ask your parents; a teacher, an [[pedobear|elderly librarian]] or failing that the guy who's always hanging around outside the Post Office and smells of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mint_imperials  Mint Imperials]

----
{{Clear}}

[[Image:Crab.gif|center]]

{{Rainbowsmall|PHEAR MY CRABS}}
{{clear}}

== Whut? ==

I liek typose; thy ar my bred & wyne; lik Kommunion onle lesz old-preest cex aftawudds.
[[image:Inyurwikieditinyurpages.JPG|right]]

{{Clear}}

== Halloween Necro-Run 2011 ==
'''Coffin Jonzz Rides Again!'''

Over [[last thursday|Halloween night]] me and the guys broke into a crypt and [[fuck|blasted]] some [[asking for it|old daed chick]]. It was totally hawt and I honestly can't recall the last time I spunked so hard that I put my back into spasms, I nearly shat myself with glee. The fact I didn't have to use a rubber was a nice little bonus; straight bare-backin' [[u mad|like a boss]].


<center>
<gallery>
Image:Areallyrealcrypt.jpg|The Venue
Image:Areallyrealghost.jpg|A fucking Ghost
Image:Areallyrealnecro.jpg‎|Cock hard...
Image:Areallyreaddaedholulz.jpg|Fuck me, what a cutie-pie!
</gallery>
</center>

If you would liek moar than ploz to be asking, I will send you for [[Faggotry|PAYPAL]] mon€y$!

[[Noodz|I do N00dz too... Oh ¥eeeeeeaaaaah!]] [[Image:akoolaidicon.gif]]
{{clear}}

== The Teachings of Sir Hilary de-Ramäkat ==
[[image:Dramacrat.jpg|thumb|right|Sir Hilary de-Ramäkat]]

<br>

* Dogs are [[Gay|gay]], every last one of the bastards.
* Mice always taste better after you've [[asking for it|chased]] them.
* Never leave your [[Put_shoe_on_head|galoshes]] beneath a willow-tree.
* Always wash your paws after [[rape|eviscerating]] a pheasant.
* [[Electric Boogaloo|Predator 2]] isn't actually as bad as you think.
* Most humans aren't interested in [[omegle|feline genitalia]].
* [[ED]] is rife with [[User:Gray|OCD ASPIES]].
* [[AIDS]] isn't the 'Death Sentence' it used to be.
* [[User:Another_n00b|Another_n00b]] is an anally-aggrieved little faggot.
* [[User:JetFlash|JetFlash]] nuzzles his own mother's dick-nipples with gusto.
* [[Nostradamus]] is the only person ever to have predicted their own ED [[User_talk:Megamaniac|entry]].
* Cats are [[Truth|best]].
{{clear}}

== Plans for 2012 ==
[[image:Eggchan_sage_epin.jpg|thumb|right|I want to anally violate this girl whilst squirting shampoo into her eyes.]]
Well, 2011 was shit... no shitter than 2010 but still pretty fucking shit.

* I accidentally killed my sister's fish with whisky (RIP Warren & Faye).
* A microwave-door exploded in my face (al Qaeda?).
* My best-friend is going down for embezzling the best part of 200K from his employer.

I never saw dick of that fat-cash; the fucking cunt.

Hopefully this year I'll discover a doctor capable of completing the old 'Reverse Jacko' procedure on a budget and then land me some cocoa-cock crazed whores.

Stay lucky fuckers.[[image:ED_Plaque.jpg|thumb|Mazel tov... motherfucker!|right]]
''Resolutions:''
* Finish all of the [[Portal:Gaming|shit computer games]] that I purchased in 2011.
* Learn to crotchet (and/or) knit.
* Remix "[[Almost rapped|Gangster's Paradise]]" by Coolio.
* Kick a pigeon.
* Dance upon a child's grave.
* Write a letter to my local [[Homosexual|Catholic priest]] threatening '[[cp|revelations]]'.
* Execute Coolio to ensure greater [[Apple|iTunes]] sales of aforementioned remix.
* Flatten some coins on a railway track.
* Become [[nigger|Black]]
* Convert to [[Jew|Judaism]]
* Commit 'The Perfect Rape'.

== The Great Wikipedia SOPA Shutdown ==

Yeah, fuck that shit... GOOGLECA$H TO TEH RESCARU!11

<center>[[image:Blackout_bypass.png]]</center>

<center>Read moar about it here... [[SOPA]]</center>

== My bid for GLORY! ==

Today I put in a request for '[[Portal:Gaming|Gaming Portal]]' caretaker... I got sick of looking at the same 'Featured Article' day-after-day so took positive-action... if I don't get the gig it's probably because all the mods here are filthy fucking [[Faggot|shirt-lifters]].

== I can haz Sig? ==

Mr Jonzz [[image:Jonzz%2Bsig.png|25px]] 13:39, 23 January 2012 (CET)

== Punishment Wank ==

I blew a shot I had with a relatively 'fit' bird the other night by being violently sick down her top... as a result I decided to pull my pud over a golem.

{{quote|No Dogs with cocks over nine inches.|[[Dalavesta]]}}

<br>
== Happy Easter Faggots! ==

[[Image:Easter_batman_jesus.jpg|center|frame]]

<center>The plastic capsule contained within [http://www.kinder-chocolate.com/kinder-eggs.html Kinder-Eggs] makes an ideal receptacle for your home-made semtex.</center>

<center>You can learn more about the miraculous return of [[Jesus|Zombie-Jesus]] here: http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Easter</center>

==Archivin'...==

[[Image:EAZY_E_MIC.png|center]]
{{quote|So {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, {{Wordfilter|text=Black Person|color=white|background=black}}, please,
 
Since you're on the {{Wordfilter|text=Penis|color=white|background=black}} why don't you drop to your knees.|[[AIDS|Eazy E]]}}


<br>

== GPKFTW! ==

{{collapsegallery|If your parents say you dress like you should be in a carnival...|GPK|center|<gallery> Image:Alien ED GPK.jpg
Image:Shrunken_ED_GPK.jpg
Image:Newly_Dead_ED_GPK.jpg
Image:ED_shoulders_GPK.jpg </gallery>|<gallery>  </gallery>}}


<br>

==Go easy bro'...==

[[image:Adam_Yauch_MCA_RIP.jpg|center]]

<center>'''Adam Nathaniel Yauch''' ''aka'' '''[[Beastie_Boys|M.C.A.]]''' ~ August 5, 1964 – May 4, 2012</center>


==The O.C.==

Moved to [[User:Mr_Jonzz/OC]]

==Musical Appreciation==
<center> 
Yo... I'm like a [[Rudy Eugene|dead corpse]]
Crawling out the dirt, on some [[zombie]] shit
Aiming for your neck to bite the flesh where the veins connect
My brain's incorrect, traumatise you in a sec
My raps are like crackin' a dead satanic intellect
[[Jessi Slaughter|Slaughters you]], I got more for you
[[Guro|Gore]] for you, your flesh is sort of blue
You'll be begging someone to pull me off of you
When [[1 lunatic 1 icepick|I'm stabbing you]], I offered you a chance to leave
You'll only understand when you bleed
There's no talking to you...
Just shovin' a fork in you
Who the fuck you talking to?
I'm pure death in the flesh, I'll arrange a coffin for you
My knife packin' status, got you shook
A lot of crooks'll respect my rep, step
Kid I advise you not to look
Turn your head, or you'll turn up dead
Put you sleep inside a burning bed
Learn from what I said
I'm mushin' your peeps
Then I'm skooshin' you deep
Beneath, with the deceased
Rest in Peace...

I... injure you with [[Ninja]] crews
Contemplate what sin to do, negotiate with [[Satan]]
Cause it's his decision too
Hold a sword like [[Finding Forrester|Ghostdog]]
Leaving blood and gross gore
So disgusting that your corpse is not allowed in most morgues
So jagged and decrepit kid that the maggots rejected it
I dumped it in the sea and killed all life except for [[Cthulhu|squid]]...

<br>
<span style="font-size:2em;">[[LOL WUT|What?]]</span>

<br>
Walk the wrong path, deviated by demons
While you faggot motherfucks inebriated by [[semen]]
Lure you in my [[Internet|web]] check the code your boys' is red
If they look for you they'll find you in the mortuary dead
Fill the clip up with the lead then put the [[Om nom nom|biscuit]] to the head
After I ripped you up to shreds I'll take a sip of what you bled

Don't ever try and hawk a riff cus I don't wanna talk
I'll play the kind of [[sport]]s the way you catch a [[Indian|tomahawk]]
Open up your skull, fragments fall to the ground
Take a [[Weed|toke]] and [[Coke|sniff]] a pull now your drawn to the [[Music|sound]]...

Thugs cry '' "[[Period|Blood!]]" '', supported by the hemp and the [[guns]]
Y'all tempt me to [[Do a barrel roll|flip]], so morbid when I empty the clip
It's awful how we decorate your coffin, send me the [[Vagoo|clit]]
We celebrate with ''[[Cannibal|Henny-Bloodshakes]]'' that render me sick
Whatever ya fix, get fitted with the milli of chrome
Rap [[Soccer|Vinnie Jones]], I dis-attach, snacks from the bone
And ate the last witnesses
[[Ketamine|K]]'d out on medicine
Health nut, crush up my [[Vegetarian|wheat-germ]]
Chase it with [[heroin]]
Guerilla-biscuits, bustin' your windpipe into splinters
Another thing to cause [[pain]] in the frost in the winter
[[ED Government|Circle of Tyrants]], rock an inverted cross [[Bling|iced-out]]
Blood-farmer, two in your face
Get erased, lights out...

Spikes out for dishrags, keep 'em on the hip like shitbags
You don't want it [[fag]]
You're left in the bubble covered, we'll shoot up fair
Stay bent, like breathing rubber
So be advised
Lucifer's rising the [[Magic|invocation]] of my demon brother...

Splattered in blood, lather my thought patterns with [[drugs]]
Morbid visions of [[Guro|cadavers]] ravaged by maggots and bugs
[[Offended|Beetles crawling out of your eyes sockets
Pus pouring out of your mouth on top of dry vomit
Billions of body bags, blood-drenched battlefields
Big butcher knives, you fucking faggots
You get your fucking face erased from your cabbage]]...

Tangled and gored, the top half of your body hangin' off the door
Spasm and splash your organs across the floor
Its death, when the slug hit the bullet-proof vest that
I took from the [[Pig|policeman]] after [[Headshot|I blew off his head]]
We [[Anders|Knights of Satan]] serving Satan's sadists
God is an [[atheist]]
You fucking idiots, your bitches give [[Blowjob|brain]] to us
Save yourself at the altar of sacrifice
We criminally insane, escape from Belle Vue
Sniffin' on [[cocaine]]
Don't even try it, its Ill Bill, the ''[[Food|gourmet]]'' of violence
Donate my brain to science, vacation insane-asylums...

Come one come all to my [[Juggalo|Carnival of Carnage]]
Where I'll... slice and dice and peel off your shell like an [[Florida|orange]]
I'm too precise not to be nice
I nail you like [[Jesus|Christ]] you'll pay twice the price
I put brains on ice
For preparation prepare for the separation
Of your foundation so come get your frown [[Based God|basted]]
In hot-sauce I'll roast ya like hotdogs on an open fire
I'm a trig like Meyer <!-- this is the only line I don't understand, what's a trig? -->
But don't admire the entire picture
cause I'll [[Saddam|hang you like a fixture]]
So when you enter the mixture
Use [[Extreme porn|extreme]] caution, because it only takes one portion
To perform an [[abortion]] with the steel that I force in
You feel lost when you get tossed in the bottomless gorge
The heroin-horde got guns and swords <span style="font-size:0.75em;">swords</span> <span style="font-size:0.5em;">swords</span> <span style="font-size:0.25em;">swords</span><span style="font-size:0.12em;">...</span>
</center>
<br>


==Anniversary?==

{{User:Oblique/TimeOnED|year=2011|month=05|day=27}}

''Mr Jonzz (Created on 27 May 2011 at 02:16)''

Guess I missed it LOL... - [[User talk:Mr Jonzz|Mr Jonzz]] [[Image:MJHS.png|17px|[[User:Mr_Jonzz]]]] 16:40, 1 June 2012 (EDT)


==EDiting==

{{User:Mr_Jonzz/Approve| creating your own '''Approve''' template and then going on to approve yourself for doing so.}}

==FanClub==

<center><big>[[mad|01:04 <%Andres> I<br />
01:04 <%Andres> HATE<br />
01:04 <%Andres> THIS<br />
01:04 <%Andres> JONZ]]<br />
</big></center>

<br>

{{Quote|ok how do i start something new so i can stress my [[Retardation|displease]]|[[Casplat]] 03:44, 19 July 2012 (EDT)}} 

<br>

{{Quote|If you want to do something about this, go to the site and start erasing the crap posts (on the [[Mariozplaze]] article) and sending Zaiger, Hipcrime, Andrés, Mike the Great, and finally, Mr. Jonzz, hate mail about what they did! 
Let me know about what you did in a PM! 

(Note: [[Lie|I didn't do MOST of what they said I did]]!)|[[User:Mariozplaze]] on Jewtube}}

==fap-fap-fap==

[[File:I Am In Love.png|frame|<center>I love her, I love her hair;<br>
I love her in her underwear...<br>
I love her eyes, I love her nose;<br>
I want to tear her panty-hose,<br>
Then rape her 'til she bleeds.<br>
Slut.</center>|center]]

<br>
[[File:Wheelchair User.png|frame|center|<center>Gliding down the corridor,<br>
My new true love... my crippled whore.</center>]]

==Currently my favourite image on Wikipedia==

<center>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-penetrative_sex#Types_of_non-penetrative_sexual_activity</center>

<br>
{{rainbow|LOL TITWANK!}}

<br>

<video type="vimeo" id="41281959" width="425" height="329" position="center" />

 

{{quote|<small>I love fucking, straight up. If you don't love fucking you're probably a homo...</small>|Necro}}

 

<br>

<pre style="font: 10px/5px monospace;">                                                  

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          `'+++##+';:':';;;;'''',                  

          :#@'''++++''''';:;;';';                  

        .++:`  `':+';'''';:;''''                  

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                        ;++++'#'++`                

                        :#++++++#@.                

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                          ,#''+#++.                

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  ,                      ''+'@#';          `    

  ;+                      ;+#+;;;;.        ,.    

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      ;#+++++++;  ++++##+#++++@#:+@#,.#+++',      

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        `#+++++++'##@##++#+#+##+''##+;+'#+;:`    

          '#+++++++++#+''#++'##+'++##'+'#+':,`    

            ,#+++++++++'.+''++++''++##';+#+;''.    

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                    '++@@#+#@##########+'++:      

                    `'+@##+############+;``      

                      ;+##############;,`          

                      .+;..,,......`              

                                                  

</pre>

 

<br>

 

==Elderly Nigger Appreciation==

 

<video type="vimeo" id="18014728" width="425" height="329" position="center" />

 

{{quote|<small>This [[Earth|world]]... is going up in [[War|flames]] and [[Government|nobody]] wanna take the blame... Don’t tell me... how to live my [[No life|life]]... when [[you]]... never felt the [[pain]]...</small>|[[Old people|Charles Bradley]]}}

 

<br>

==GUSTA==

[[File:01100110011010010110110001100101001000000111010001101001011101000110110001100101.png|center|wut?]]
{{clear}}

{{quote|I got an attitude as thick as a [[Bubba|convict's]]
Bomb ticks, my heart beats as I tap out some [[Hard gay|hard]] shit
Watch this, the [[Xenophile|Martian]] that you didn't think could do
break through with an edit that'll [[Troll|rock]] your whole crew
Thought you knew; I ain't no [[punk]] or no [[Diaperfag|pooh-butt]]
Step to me? The cops are still diggin' [[niggers]] up...}}

==2ndBirthday==


<Center>'''Registration time:02:16, 27 May 2011'''</center>

{{rainbow|hb2me!}}

==Gutterballs==

<video type="vimeo" id="44617538" width="520" height="329" position="center" />

<br />
<center><youtube>Ex4IKMMRDWQ</youtube></center>
<br />
<video type="vimeo" id="68761077" width="800" height="600" position="center" />
[[File:Facebook_Meh_Hand.png|center|MEH]]

==KYF==

<center>{{frame|{{frame|{{Frame|[[File:KillYourselfFaggot.png|800px|Pretty much.]]|background=black|border=black}}|border=palegoldenrod|background=black}}|background=black|border=black}}</center>

==Mutilation==

<Center>
Mutilate the beat like a [[bear]] mutilating [[Anus|meat]]<br />
Shoot you with a [[Numbers|.38]] in the face, too late to bleed<br />
[[Cutting|Lacerate]], never procrastinate with [[Lolcow|beef]]<br />
Decapitate any [[rap]]per that [[hate]] on the thieves<br />
Please, [[I told you I was hardcore|I'm more street]] than your whole fleet<br />
[[Police]] lock you up, you're fucked till your asshole bleeds<br />
Plus some chubby [[Mike Tyson|Clubber Lang]]-lookin' motherfucker named [[Bubba]]<br />
Gang-bangin' you with no rubber<br />
You bleed like hemo', chop you like Premo<br />
Pop your mop-top off, [[emo]] like you got [[chemo]]<br />
Blast a [[Gun|burner]] like Dillinger, brown Derringer<br />
[[White power|Vern Schillinger]], brain hemorrage'll<br />
Turn to gelatin, [[bird]] skeleton<br />
[[Double nigger|Charcoal black]], melanin<br />
Spermin' in [[Blind|Helen Keller]] women<br />
[[Schizophrenic]] with the most elegant etiquette<br />
Till I flip like a predicate felon<br />
Somebody get a medic...
</center>

<br />
<div style="margin:0 auto;border-radius:150px;max-width:450px;;max-height:290px;box-shadow:0 0 64px tan;">[[File:Kitty.png|:3]]</div>


==The End...==

<center>{{frame|{{Frame|[[File:Samuel L Jackson Pulp Fiction Gun.gif|Page's Closed!]]|background=white|border=Black}}|border=white|background=black}}</center>

<br />