View source for Realman1000000000000

{{achtung|Realman isn't even a Real Man, he's a fucking PIG}}
{{spoilers|The following article covers hoarding, filth, and the struggles of a vlogger with delusions of grandeur}}<br/>

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'''Realman1000000000000''' aka {{yt|cu|Realmanpwns|Realman}} thinks he is the "[[Faggotry|Mac Daddy]]" of [[Jewtube]]; when in fact, he is a big fat drama loving [[attention whore]]. Using such phrases as "Your momma's doody hole", Realman can be found ruining your daily [[YouTube]] experience.  Pretending to be disabled and drawing off the government and drinking cheap generic vodka all day; realman is known for blowing snot rockets directly onto the floor, and also eating some of them as well. Ultimately, his anti-social disease gives way to multiple [[Fuckwit|personalities]], and failures across the board. He is one seriously notable fucktard.

Using YouTube as an outlet for [[conspiracy]] theories, e-begging, tough guy act; basically Realman is a [[Unwarranted_self_importance|self proclaimed]] "[[pwn]]ing artist". Being mentally ill just emphasizes his [[faggotry]]. Exhibiting such skills as phailing hygiene by bathing about once every 6 or more weeks. Realman has hobbit feet, and never trims his toenails, removing his socks on live blog to reveal fungus infected feet and toenails. Real mans philosophy of perfect hygiene is to shave his head, rather than purchase a lice shampoo. The lice will only come back due to the bed and his clothing not being washed. His washing methods consist of never doing laundry. Realman simply goes to the local dumpster at the goodwill drop off stations, and this is rumored to be where he finds socks and female clothing. One pair of socks will last him over a month; wearing them daily while stepping in dog shit in the yard, he simply turns them inside out. 

Realman builds his immunities by eating food that has been laying around, half eaten for 3-5 days, thinking that the mold is a good source of penicillin and will cure all that ails him. Most of his videos consist of him wearing the same clothing, for weeks on end. Realman endorses drug use and abuses his medicine cabinet; which include valium, vicodin, meclizine to name a few, and washes it all down with cheap vodka. 


<center>'''U DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE RETARDED'''</center>

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{{quote|None of you have lived my god damn life, not a god damn one of you!|Realman69 [[Rage|raging]]}}

==Brian's guide to building a perfect cigarette==
[[Image:REALMANSBOXOFCIGARETTEBUTTS.jpg|thumb|right|Realmans collection of cigarette butts .]]
Born and raised in Greenville, NC on the other side of the tracks at 2761 W 5th St; Brian has collected cigarette butts all of his life. He is a used cigarette butt enthusiast, Brian collects cigarette butts from local bars, city streets and the sanitation department helps him as well. Brian's favorite hobby is building a whole new cigarette out of Tuberculosis , herpes infected tobacco, thinking this will help build his immune system. 

Mr. Hogan, at the ripe age of 18 years old, began his career at the U.S. Government, where he convinced his drill instructor that he couldn't even tie his shoes, much less wipe his ass. Dishonorably discharged after 2 years of foul hygiene and bending over for all the men in the shower, he embarked on his new career of extorting the government claiming he has ''mental problems''. Brian has even stated that he has the mentality of a 14 year old. These problems stem from his mother breast feeding him until he was 15. Brian makes frequent early morning trips to avoid the rush hour traffic at the local crack houses for his roommates where he packs the pudding for five dollar bills. The rest of his day consists of watching YouTube videos and masturbating to [[Sxephil]] and other [[YouTube]] partners.

==Failure==
[[Image:Realman_tranny.jpg|thumb|right|Realman [[IRL]].]]
[[File:Realman frig.jpeg|thumb|right|You're fucking kidding right ?]]
Brian attempts to pwn people by picking out a singular word in their [[video]], and raging for minutes on end about the definition of the word. Priding himself as leader of all E-Gangs, including such groups as [[Anonymous]]. Brian has gone as far as to invent his own E-Gangs of sock channels in order to subscribe to himself and feed his ego of self importance. [[Fail]]ing miserably at the internet, has become second nature to Brian, so much so that he would favorite [[Davidsfarm]] videos and then rage yet again on the internets at why he was never included. This brings up the subject of Brian's sex life, having only been laid once back when he was in the military on a dare, he attempted to have intercourse with a female for the first time. This was Brian's turning point in life, after the encounter, he drank himself into a drunken stupor with cheap vodka, and vowing to never touch a vagina again. He freely admits to going to [[porn]] sites, and fapping to other males and his fetish for furries.



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Brian likes to indulge himself on [[blogtv]], where he is the only person on cam. Brian has a daily blogtv program, where he has a marathon of binge drinking cheap vodka, blowing snot rockets into the carpet. In some cases Brian even blows snot rockets into his hands and carefully digs the tasty part of the booger out of his hand and proceeds to eat it on cam, in order to further enhance his immune system. If you are lucky enough, you might even get a chance to watch him change into his socks. Many nights Brian can be found passed out on cam in blogtv, while madly attempting to catch flies with his open mouth. Brian's blogtv usually ends up with him rocking back and forth after consuming fistfuls of valium and many shots of cheap vodka. Blog famous Brian is most known for his misinformation about Youtube, the news and all current events.
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==Brian's Money Management Skills==
[[Image:REALMANPASSEDOUT.jpg|thumb|right|Realman passed out & living the dream .]]
After raping the government for $624.00 a month; Brian e-begs [[Youtube]] users for computer parts and donations of liquor, so that he can build the courage to have a [[blogtv]]. He frequently boasts about how many Youtube users are on his payroll, consisting of people who send him money weekly for his alcohol abuse. he takes their donations of charity to keep gas in the truck to maintain trips to the crack house. Donations are accepted via regular mail, [[Paypal]] or bitcoins.

Being the biggest hypocrite that [[Youtube]] has ever seen; Brian is a self proclaimed atheist, and his favorite channel of his is called Satansvids. Brian is not beyond being atheist, but going to the local church and soup kitchens begging for food on a nightly basis, so his hypocrisy will help pay for his dirty habits.

== External Links==
*<s>{{yt|cu|realman1000000000000|realman1000000000000}}</s> [[B&|Oops! Something went wrong.]]
*{{yt|cu|RealmanPwns|RealmanPwns}}
*{{yt|cu|RealmanLaughsAtRambo|RealmanLaughsAtRambo}}
*{{yt|cu|RealmanRedux|RealmanRedux}}
*{{yt|cu|RealmanResponds|RealmanResponds}}
*{{yt|cu|reelman1000000000000|reelman1000000000000}}
*[http://www.blogtv.com/people/realman1000000000000 Realman on BlogTV]

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