View source for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

{{needsmoar|muck and scuttlebutt about this insane commie}}
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{{gotis}}
[[File:CrazyCortez.jpg|thumb|I'M MUY LOCA, BITCH!]]
[[File:Alexandria-Ocasio-Cortez.jpg|thumb|Karl Marx tugs at the stinky clit of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's maruta bum bum.]]
[[File:AOCFun.png|thumb|The democrat and the republican.]]

'''Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez'''{{communist}} is a {{Age|1989|10|13}}-year-old [[privilege]]d [[millennial]] [[satanist]] who, on June 26, [[2018]], [[Fraud|somehow]] managed to defeat superior congressman [[You're a fucking white male|Joe Crowley]] in the [[Democrat]]ic primary race for [[New York|Jew York]]'s 14th congressional district despite being a [[Fugly|butt-ugly]] [[communist]] [[retard]] who has no experience whatsoever in [[politics]] or [[life]]. She then went on to win the seat itself, and took up her new role in January 2019, declaring that she planned to introduce fully-automated communism throughout the continent formerly known as "North America" by Easter at the latest.

Hopefully she gets anthrax from an anthrax laced cookie given to her by Trump, so this Honduran maruta can spend the rest of her little worthless eternity being dissected alive by professional surgeons.

Immediately after pulling off one of the greatest upsets in [[American]] [[politics]] since [[Donald J. Trump]] defeated [[Hillary Clinton|Adolf Satan]] in the [[2016 Presidential Election]], Ocasio-Cortez-Maruta was quickly [[adopted]] by the fuckwits on [[Liberal]] [[Twitter]] as the new face of the Democratic party and next-generation's answer to [[Bernie Sanders]] – a communist man who almost seems sane when compared to the columphophobic terrorist that is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortex "Maruta".

What will be her downfall? [[Plagiarism]]? Leaked [[Porn]]? [[Unit 731]]? [[death penalty]]? [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5905247/Girl-Bronx-Alexandria-Ocasio-Cortez-actually-grew-wealthy-Westchester-County.html '''Lying about her backstory'''?] [[Jews]]? ([https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora/Round-Three-Ocasio-Cortez-backpedals-on-two-state-solution-comments-562736 srsly]!) ({{archive|zQMNJ|SRSLY!!}})

She's bound to fall, and fall hard, real soon--so let's spank this [[beaner]]'s ugly chimp ass for all the [[Lolcow|LULZ]] we can now!


== Girlhood: "I'm Still, umm, I'm Still, Sandy Buttcheeks from <s>da Bronx</s> Westchester" ==
Contrary to her [[Lie|sob story]] of growing up as the poorly-groomed, stinky destitute daughter of a [[Your Mom|useless-eater crack whore]] in the Bronx, suburban "Sandy" [https://www.livetradingnews.com/socialist-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-lied-to-voters-96872.html#.W05ckDWK_TM actually grew up in a fairly decent house in neighboring Westchester County]. (The budding big teta'd socialist's lie was exposed when [[TMZ]] broke the story that Ocasio-Cortez's slave-made [[iPod]] [[Some argue|was rumored]] to hold only one song on perpetual loop: JLo's [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45C16tToen8 "Jenny From the Block."])

[[Scandal]]! How could Sandy save her image as a down-with-the-struggle chula who struggled to overcome poverty (and every -ism in existence)? By throwing her mami under the bus, of course!

{{quote|[[Image:OcasioCortezHouse.jpg]]|'''My mom scrubbed Brooklyn toilets so I could live in this rented townhouse.'''|--"Sandy" Ocasio-Cortez throws mami under the rapist bus, 2018}}


So Sandy's first scandal quickly passed--though [[some argue]] that Ocasio-Cortez's tale of her toilet-scrubbing mami is yet another lie, lifted from the Jennifer Lopez [[White knight|White Knight]]-saves-Brown-Girl [[shit|movie]], "Maid In Manhattan."

==2010: Before She Turned Puta Loca==



Believe it or not, Alexandria "Sandy" Ocasio-Cortez was actually pretty fun-loving once, willing to bounce her tetas in the name of la vida loca. In these screengrabs from a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj2Xald7NYQ 2010 Boston University ripoff of The Breakfast Club], "Sandy" Ocasio-Cortez channels her Inner Spicy Latina and bounces along to gringo music. 

Any claim she grew up a chula in da Bronx died with the emergence of this evidence of her knowledge of 'burb culture.



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==2017: Thievin' At the Bar==
{{quote|[[Image:Alexandria-Ocasio-Cortez-bartender.jpg|thumb]]|'''I have a degree in economics, so don't tell me how to make drinks'''|--Alexandria "Sandy" Ocasio-Cortez, 2017}}


Eventually, she graduated from [[Boston]] University, and became an [[Whore|intern]] to Ted Kennedy. When the CIA assassinated Kennedy by spiking his [[coke|nose candy]] with [[LOL|Dran-O]], she moved back to [[Jew|New]] York City. There, she used everything she had learned about [https://twitter.com/bennyjohnson/status/1018874752126148616 Economics] and [https://www.newsweek.com/ocasio-cortez-slams-israeli-occupation-walks-it-back-i-am-not-expert-1029386 International Affairs] at [[AutoAdmit|Boston University]] to become a bitter-culo [[Drug dealer|bartender]].

"Sandy" is [[Puerto Rican]] (in case you hadn't noticed), and Ricans gonna Rican, so Ocasio-Cortez naturally couldn't help stealing tips from her working-class co-workers (just like she will do to [[you]] to fund gibs for her constituents). Srsly:


{{quote|At the end of the night, when it came time to split the $560 in tips she had gotten at the bar, Ocasio-Cortez [[Jew|gave the waitress only $50]]. After the waitress complained to her manager, her take was doubled to $100, a source said.

“It says so much about her character,” said my source. “From that point on, I wouldn’t talk to her. I couldn’t look at her.”|--Coworker at FlatsFix [[Mexican]] restaurant}}

But those [[bitches|putas]] were [[white]], so who gives a shit, mang?

==2018: Thievin' The Primary==
[[File:Alexandria ocasio-cortez and her communist eyes.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A Warning From History]]
Being an uppity [[millennial]] [[bitch]] who doesn't know [[In the kitchen|her place]], Ocasio-Cortez was never one to wait her turn. You see, her opponent, [[Joedaddy505|Joe Crowley]] hadn't dropped dead yet, and he hadn't yet consumed enough Christian baby blood to be reanimated via [[Jewish]] Necromancy to serve as Speaker of the House like [[Nancy Pelosi]], so as per the [[Protocols of the Elders of Zion]], Ocasio-Cortez was to serve as a concubine to [[Harvey Weinstein]] for ten years before she could be allowed to run for fucking dog catcher, let alone Joe Crowley's House seat. Unfortunately, as Weinstein is currently servicing [[Bubba]] in jail, there was really nothing forcing her to abide by the Protocols, so she launched her own primary challenge with basically no [[Jewgold|campaign funding]] and no political outreach other than [[Failbook|Facebook]] and [[tumblr]].

Crowley was, however, enough of an establishment oldfag to be set in his ways, and believed that [[Jews|Wall Street]] [[Jewgold|money]] alone would be enough to carry him to victory. While he allowed Mossad to do his campaigning for him, he would be free to jockey for Speaker of the House when Pelosi finally ran out of [[Incel|virgin]] blood to stay alive, without having to pay any attention to the [[niggers]] and [[spics]] that make up his district in Queens and the Bronx, or their [[Welfare|issues]]. He was so sure of this strategy that he [https://web.archive.org/web/20180712141837/https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/19/opinion/joseph-crowley-alexandria-ocasio-cortez.html didn't even bother to show up to his debates]. And why would he? This strategy worked so well for [[No|President]] [[Hillary Clinton]], after all!

Having apparently learned absolutely nothing from 2016, the year [[The Donald|Our Lord and Führer]] ascended to His rightful place in [[America]], Crowley failed to take into account that palling around with kikes and ignoring your voters is, in fact, anathema to voters, even of the [[black]] and [[Spic|brown]] variety. And because this is [[Jew York City]], Ocasio-Cortez is all but guaranteed to win in November, meaning we have some washed-up old establishment shabbos goy to blame for this shrill bitch being inflicted on us come the general election.
{{clear}}

==On Second Thought...: Gringo Dems Not Feeling WEPA! About Sandy==
[[File:Ocasio buttons 0.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Hmmm... maybe this "Sandy" chica ISNT the best message to send the voters...]]
{{quote|All sorts of Democrats are sounding the alarm. They seem to get what Ocasio-Cortez’s pseudo-Marxist agenda represents for the party. They range from the former speaker, Nancy Pelosi, to Congressmen Alcee Hastings of Florida (“meteors fizz out”) to Bill Pascrell of New Jersey (“she ain’t gonna make friends”), to name a few.|{{archive|zQMNJ|Ruh-Roh!}} }}

Well, that didn't take long. Barely a week after it was pointed out that the Dem [[drunk|Irishman]] she defeated, Joe Crowley {{archive|2pzOG|will remain on the ticket on the Working Families Party line}}, the first prominent Dem, ((((Joe Lieberman)))){{Jew}}, has {{archive|zQMNJ|suggested voters spit out}} the spicy [[Latina]] in favor of the saucey [[Irish American]].

Primary elections on August 8th proved that, unlike [[Spics|da Bronx]], [[White Devils|Midwest voters]] just weren't "feeling" the Sandy vibe. Despite a barnstorming tour of speeches on behalf of various "[[Socialists|Socialist Democrats]]," '''ALL''' of Sandy's picks were [[Assrape|defeate]]d. Here's the [https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/08/08/democratic-socialism-sanders-ocasio-cortez-2018-primary-results-219161 lineup]:
*Michigan: [[Sand nigger|Abdul El-Sayed]]...[[pwned]]
*Michigan: [[Sand nigger|Fayrouz Saad]]...[[pwned]]
*Kansas: [[Dumbass|Brent Welder]]...[[pwned]]
*Missouri: [[Nigger|Cori Bush]]...[[pwned]]

==...well, except for Pervy [[Bernie Sanders|Bernie]]==

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==External Links==
*[http://alexandriaocasiocortez.ytmnd.com/ '''Alexandria Ocasio Cortez Campaign Song''']
*[http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4029236&mc=9&forum_id=2 '''Is there really an Ocasio-Cortez lookalike in Girlsdoporn Episode 6?'''] [[AutoAdmit]] asks the IMPORTANT questions! (Archived {{archive|9DqaU|1}} {{wayback|http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4029236&mc=9&forum_id=2|title=2}})
*[http://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/178969066/queen-ocasiocortez '''4chan politics votes Alexandria Ocasio Cortez 'Queen of Hatefuckable''''] (Archived: {{archive|KHq7X|1}})
*[http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4028459&mc=80&forum_id=2 '''Is this Alexandria Ocasio Cortez in her PRIME? 2010 BU vid'''] (Archived: {{archive|U5e8e|1}} {{wayback|http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4028459&mc=80&forum_id=2|title=2}})
*[https://www.aei.org/publication/the-uninformed-economic-views-of-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-in-2-charts/ '''The uninformed economic views of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, in 2 charts'''] (Archived: {{archive|UKlzh|1}} {{wayback|https://www.aei.org/publication/the-uninformed-economic-views-of-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-in-2-charts/|title=2}})
*[http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4028115&mc=31&forum_id=2 '''Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: "Unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs"'''] (Archived {{archive|6wlLg|1}} {{wayback|http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4028115&mc=31&forum_id=2|title=2}})
*[http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4026981&mc=62&forum_id=2 '''Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez discusses Israel/Palestine'''] A [[beaner]] who hates [[Jews]] can't be ''all'' bad. (Archived: {{archive|w82PG|1}} {{wayback|http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4026981&mc=62&forum_id=2|title=2}})
*[https://pagesix.com/2018/07/01/ex-co-worker-no-fan-of-democrat-darling-alexandria-ocasio-cortez/ '''Ex co-worker no fan of Democrat darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez'''] (Archived: {{archive|huKXR|1}} {{wayback|https://pagesix.com/2018/07/01/ex-co-worker-no-fan-of-democrat-darling-alexandria-ocasio-cortez/|title=2}})
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5905247/Girl-Bronx-Alexandria-Ocasio-Cortez-actually-grew-wealthy-Westchester-County.html ''''Girl from the Bronx' Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who beat high-ranking Democrat Joe Crowley, faces questions over her 'working class' background after it's revealed she grew up in a wealthy suburb north of New York City'''] (Archived: {{archive|c0bP4|1}})
*[http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4023088&mc=7&forum_id=2 [[AutoAdmit]] '''makes a prediction...'''] (Archived: {{archive|c8MiR|1}} {{wayback|http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4023088&mc=7&forum_id=2|title=2}})



{{cg|Gallery of beaner Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez|AlexGallery|center|<gallery perrow="4">

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{{Timeline|Featured Article March 11 & 12, [[2019]]|[[Monster Girls]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Sonicfox]]}}