View source for Aediot

{{Eduser|Pæperclip}}
{{ib|[[File:JacobMugshot.png|250px]]}}
{{ibhead|<big>'''Aediot'''</big>}}
{{ibrow|'''Powerword'''|Jacob Evan Stellmach}}
{{ibrow|'''Current Status'''|V&}}
{{ibrow|'''Time As Sysop| March 2020 - November 2020}}
{{ibrow|'''Kiwi Farms Thread'''|{{kf|89597|Ass Napkins}}}}
{{ibend}}
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3mfi6i1Kx8
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'''Aediot''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Jacob Stellmach'''{{jew}}), also known as '''[[User:Pæperclip|Pæperclip]]''' and '''Ass Napkins''' is a [[Jew|hustler]] who gives new meaning to being a "[[skid]]". He also owned the now dead .wiki ED.

Aediot was known for being an incompetent and petty fuck who was unable to keep the wiki up and running for a single day and throwing his admins under the bus by constantly blaming them for his inability to keep the wiki up for an hour. Having only run ED for 8 months, Jacob managed to fuck up the site entirely and get kicked out of the ED community for [[AIDS]] and [[fail]].

Previously, Jacob had started his worthless ED career at the tender age of 17 sometime in [[2014]] under the pseudonym of [[User:Pæperclip|Pæperclip]]. In less than a year, Paperclip was banned from the wiki and forums for being an [[autistic]] sperg and retard. [[Foreshadowing|Aediot was exposed for being a pedo and was relentlessly mocked about it]] until he ultimately [[ragequit]]. 

He showed back up in [[2020]] with a new name and a new lady, [[Zaiger|Zaiger]]'s ex-girlfriend [[Adezero]]. Jacob, who was about half her age, was dumped by Ade for being a couch surfing bum not worth of a moist tight vagina such as her's. He then manipulated a [[Borderline personality disorder|BPD mentally ill]] [[Scott Pilgrim vs. the World|Scott Pilgrim]] [[Attention Whore|girl he met on the forum]], while Ade went on to not have sex with [[TheRalphRetort|Ethan Ralph]]. Under Ade's tutelage, Jacob promised to bring back ED to its glory days and more! He promised paid jobs for writing articles and taking down the [[enemies of the lulz]]. It was almost [[fact|too good to be true]].
'''SPOILER:''' It was.

Buckle your seat belts and prepare yourself for a bumpy ride that includes child pornography, [[scammer|hustling]], [[BPD]] whores, [[taking down ed|attempting to take down ED]], incompetency, ass napkins, etc.

==Previous Antics and other Epic [[Fail]]s==

=== Onionland and the Dark Web ===
[[File:JUJ.jpg|thumb|2ND RESULT ON BING ]]

Jacob constantly identifies himself as a "darknet researcher". Jacob tries to leverage these claims to have le 2spooky4u informations about the scary seedy criminal underworld of Tor. It's safe to assume that "darknet researcher" really means "[[cp]] [[masturbation|enthusiast]]" so there's no reason to be afraid of him [[online]] or [[IRL]]. He's not some [[1337]] [[hax0r]] and really just a [[skid]], which is evidenced by his inability to keep a website like ED online and functional.

{{quote|Recently Anonymous launched OpDarknet, basically what happened was someone in the collective noticed a large amount of CP in Onionland and contacting the main hosting provider (Freedom Hosting) proved fruitless in removing the content so they took it down themselves.|Jacob refused to remove child porn so [[anonymous]] had to step in [https://www.transpire.com/insights/blog/entering-onionland/]
}}

Prior to this, Jacob had "allegedly" run a tor hidden service site called Onionland, known online as a den of [[child porn]], and who knows what else.

This section of the article is known to cause Jacob severe [[butthurt]]. Do not waste any time reminding him about Onionland for maximum lulz. He will insist and deny that the articles are incorrectly characterizing him, they aren't. Every single [[fact]] is always checked by teams of cute [[kittens]].

===Xerxes===
Sometime during the crypto boom in [[2018]], Jacob had a short-lived [[bitcoin|cryptocurrency]] that was an [[obvious]] [[I go chop your dollar|pyramid scheme]]. Jacob attempted to [[theft|scam]] some money off [[retards|investors]] with outrageous promises, but like everything else Jacob does, the ICO [[Epic fail|failed miserably]] and likely [[DOING IT WRONG|cost]] more than he ended up making. Before the scam ever blossomed into a beautiful shit napkin, Jacob deleted everything before he got anally pounded by the [[Government|U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission]]


{{Quote|A blatant [[Bernie Madoff|Ponzi scheme]] ICO: [[xerxes|xerxescontract.io]] is a high-yield investment programme, literally promising [[scam|200% annual returns]]. Where do they get these remarkable sums of [[money]]? Vague and nonspecific “arbitrage”, which was literally what Pirateat40 claimed for his 2012 Bitcoin Ponzi. They have an ICO for initial buy-in. I searched on the names and photos in the white paper and was actually surprised not to find the usual string of prior fraud convictions.|David Gerard [https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchain/2018/06/05/news-me-in-york-this-saturday-bitcoin-unpopular-kik-not-so-keen-on-blockchains-sec-vs-titanium-request-and-wikipedia-update/ on Xerxes]}}

=== The Hustler's Bible ===
{{Quote|Aediot understands his industry immediately, and takes you down an eccentric path that isn't afraid to shy from the norm in order to make it big in copywriting. 

His advice on playing it cool and the ideology of "no matter what happens, I'm eating steak" has resonated with me greatly on my path to becoming a great copywriter. 

Finding work has never been easier, I've been able to go right up to the top and inform CEOs that they are in need of my services to turn their product and newsletters into a tantalizing piece of delectable wordplay to both entice and excite."
|aediot}}

''Jacob [[autism|"The Hustler"]] Stellmach'' and two of his [[Nigger|hustler]] friends self-published a <s>$150</s><ref name="scam">[https://web.archive.org/web/20200908041622/https://hustler.money/ hustler.money - Wayback Machine], September 9th, 2020 archive</ref> [[Scam|'''$70''' "self-help" book]] called "The Hustler's Bible" (not to be confused with "A Hustler's Bible", a book written by a [[nigger]] that actually [[Epic win|succeeded in life]]). It is ironic to attempt to sell a $70 book about succeeding when you can't manage to fix your own broken wiki before getting [[b&]] by its own community. His shitty website for his book is currently down, which means that it's [[Fail|no longer even purchasable]]. Its the same thing as every other "get rich quick" scheme, except that its condensed in a 30 page booklet. Basically paying <s>5$</s><ref name="scam" /> '''2$''' per page of rehashed content from Rich Dad, Poor Dad and other typical economicsfag books.

== As "[[retard|CEO]]" of Encyclopedia Dramatica ==
[[File:aediot gofundme.jpg|thumb|right|A quick pump n' dump m'dear]]
Jacob [[Self-diagnosed|declares himself]] [[Faggot|CEO of ED]] despite no one knowing who the fuck he is outside of having some shady internet history. Jacob even went as far as filing paperwork incorporating it despite never writing an article himself. Jacob proceeds to be unable keep the site up more than a week at a time, gets sued because he has a "company" around ED, spends all day on [[Twitter]] and gets 2 retweets, makes his own forum only to have bots as users, and fucks a heroin junkie's ex twice his age. Jacob isn't just a junkie for weed and Adderal, he's also addicted to epic fail. Later on Jacob gets kicked out of Adezero's house after his refusals to leave, so he proceeds to ban her from everything.

After growing impatient ED was not gaining him the ultimate streetcred [[ED Government|moderators of ED]] involved in a criminal conspiracy, promising to teach them how to open lines of credit in other peoples names, and [[Censorship|how to take down]] any [[WordPress]] site that was deemed [[Enemies of the Lulz|"enemies of ED"]]. Why he thought anyone would fall for this I'll never know, it could be the [[weed]] or [[Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder|ADHD medication]] abuse but ''Jacob "[[Zaiger|Secondhand Zaiger]]" Stellmach'' didn't stop there because he then notified the same user that he would be selling the site to one of his [[Tor|dark web]] friends and not tell anyone about it, out of fear for it affecting donations he expected to receive for the [[Lie|lawlsuit]] against him.

{{Quote|I REGISTERED ON KIWI FARM TO SEE THIS SHIT UNFOLD AND I GOTTA ADMIT, EVEN THO ADZERO LOOKS LIKE ALF MIXED WITH THE CLEANING LADY ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER FUCKED ON THE DOWN LOW, AND GOT TITTIES SHAPED LIKE LOW MOISTURE MOZZ, I GOTTA GIVE PROPS TO AEDIOT FOR GETTING LAID WITH NAPKINS STUCK INTO HIS ASSHOLE.... SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN THERES A CHAD MOVE HIDDEN THERE LOL|Assblonker}}
===Plans to sell out ED===
{{Collapsegallery|Gallery of a clearly elaborated joke|aediot1|center|<gallery>
File:Aediotsignal1.png|"After this lawsuit ends I'm transferring ownership"
File:Aediotsignal2.png|"It's either splinter the retards or pony up law fees forever"
File:Aediotsignal3.png|"You think Oddguy can run the wiki?"
File:Aediotsignal4.png|"We have to fight it, it's retarded
File:Aediotsignal5.png|"Do you think I need to declare I'm leaving"
File:Aediotsignal6.png|"Counsel on what level"
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Trust me cat.gif|Trust me, I'm a [[dramacrat|cat]]
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

== As an [[Enemies of the lulz|Enemy of teh Lulz]] ==
[[File:aediot cloudflare abuse report.png|thumb|250px|Jacob filing an abuse report against dramatica.online's host in an attempt to try and [[Taking down ED|take down ED]]]]
* Promised numerous backups, instead prevented others to do such things, causing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Restoration 2020|Restoration 2020]] program to be bigger than ever (Thanks, kike.)
* He did remove the porn ads for a bit, but it was to advertise his scam shitty book
* Tried to fuck the ED jannies balls deep, as previously mentioned
* Tried to sell ED to his favorite Dark Web loli.
* Attempts to get us kicked off our host

=== ED quits AEdiot (November 22, 2020) ===

After the criminal conspiracy came to light, as well as everyone being sick of his inability to run the site, a new site was created and online in less than 12 hours, something that had taken Jacob weeks of posting about and crying about on twitter saying he had teams of people working and was costing him thousands of dollars was done in half a day by [[User:Umkemesik|1 person]]. 

There was no power struggle, no threatens to sue, no splitting of the community, Jacob is still living in his delusional world that HE is the CEO of ED and it's HIS wiki that is the real wiki and "will be up any day now guys I promise" but he forgot that [[Communism|NO ONE owns ED]] and in this case, ED [[owned]] him.

=== More Faggotry; Trademark Threats (March 14th, 2021) ===

On March 13th, 2021 [[User:Umkemesik|UMK]], Adezero, and Kaizen had a meeting with Conrad, the Sysops that got vanned prior to AEdiot's usurpation.  To no one's surprise, Conrad declared himself for [[win|team win]] and stating that .online was the [[fact|one true ED]].  UMK & Kaizen in turn told Conrad that he was welcomed back once he got out of Bubba's cell.  Conrad also alleges that he trademarked ED before Aediot filed for his.  Making Aediot's version a complete and total sham and a colossal waste of time, money, and effort for himself and the entire ED community.
</center>

== The Great '''Ass Napkins''' Saga ==
{{squote|
Upon the farms came a shifty jew,<br>
with a stupid cause and a folder of nudes,<br>
celebrating his victory before the battle.<br>
Warnings and woes he preached to the rabble<br>
but his hopes and dreams were shattered before page two.|[[User:CosmicSewerHobo|CosmicSewerHobo]], ''Collection 3'' (2021)}}

[[File:ASS NAPKIN 1.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Imagine making your girlfriend pick this up every day]]
[[File:ASS NAPKIN 2.jpg|thumb|200px|right]]
[[File:Aediots Response To Ass Napkins.png|thumb|right|Aediot declaring victory after she never posted in his thread.]]
On this lovely day on April 27, 2021, Aediot posted {{ws|KF favicon.png|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-adezero-aediot-breakup-trashfire.89597|another thread}} on [[Kiwi Farms]] whining about the ED [[Discord]] and his ex-girlfriend in an attempt to try to threaten and intimidate her into silence, since Adezero was allegedly giving TOP SECRET INFOS to the ED community about his plans to [[trademark]] Encyclopedia Dramatica. His [[retarded|diabolical]] plan to get the farms to make fun of her by posting [[dox]] and [[porn|nudes]] completely blew up in his face, as Adezero would later reveal that Aediot [[LOL WUT|uses napkins to collect his anal seepage]], [[Sick fuck|which he would leave around her apartment, and make her pick up regularly.]] This stunning revelation derailed his plan and the thread turned into over 100 pages of the Kiwis clowning on and brutally roasting Aediot, establishing him as a [[lolcow]].  

In his own defense and a sad attempt to garner sympathy, Aediot claimed that he has to shove napkins in his ass due to his fecal incontinence due to [[raep|rape]]. Allegedly his dad [[raep|raped him]] [[gay|in the ass]] as a toddler. However, his ex-girlfriend has stated that the most likely reason for his [[Butthurt|incontinence]], is that [[Fact|he has taken miles of hard dicks]] in his [[Goatse|stretched out asshole]].

{{Quote|Lmao the ass napkins

No it's a medical thing due to being raped at a young age. I don't really care who knows about it it's not like it's a quirk I enjoy or anything

If that's the best ammuniton Ade can provide then I've already won tbh|Aediot taking the "[[MeToo|I was raped]]" defense}}
{{Quote|what doesn't kill you makes you stronger|Aediot's dad providing his son's sphincter exercise  }}


[[File:Aediot Ass Napkins Admission.jpg|600px|center]]

Unsurprisingly, his measly attempt to cope and defend himself only increased the absolute flaming KF was giving him by tenfold.

Later on, the [[Whore|independent, strong woman]] [[Ariel Rose Sapeda|Putrid]] would post on the thread, embarrassing herself in front of EDF and KF users alike, [[Lol|getting shat on by both sites]], [[Attention Whore|in a desperate attempt to gain attention]] and to also get Mr. Ass Napkins to have sex with her.

Two days after the thread got started, it was temporarily locked by Kiwi Farms' [[moderators]], due to the sheer amount of shitposting and [[lulz]] that has come straight out of [[EDF]]'s userbase, [[Win|driving the jannies and regular KF users insane]].  The next day the thread was unlocked culminating in [[MASSIVE_DAMAGE|massive lulz]].
<br>
</br>

<center>
<youtube>
https://youtu.be/L_UfQC0lmMc
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== Jacob Stellmach showers with and grooms a 16 year-old boy ==

[[Last Thursday|Last Thursday]], Jacob "Paedoclip" Stellmach's old friend, .wiki admin, and room mate, Ashinine, spilled more beans and revealed how Jacob met and groomed him at the ripe age of 16. Yes you read that correctly, he was '''16''' when he met Aediot. He also revealed more about Aediot like how;

* Jacob [[Pig|smells like shit]] (shocking) and doesn't shower or clean his room <ref name="shower">[[:File:Ashine1.png|Ashine1.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* [[Poor|He's broke, homeless, living out of air bnbs]] he gets money through various scams and begging for money from friends or just stealing it <ref>[[:File:Ashine2.png|Ashine2.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref><ref name=airbnb">[[:File:Ashine5.png|Ashine5.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref><ref name="arab">[[:File:Ashine4.png|Ashine4.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* The only way he'd take a shower is if his roommate (male) [[Faggot|would take them with him]] <ref name="shower"/>

* His asshole is so loose because his family members would [[Baby Fuck|run trains on him]] <ref>[[:File:Ashine10.png|Ashine10.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Ashine8.png|Ashine5.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* [[LSD|Gets really high]] and thinks [[LOL WUT|he can communicate with demons]] to make deals to make money, yet he's still poor <ref name="amazon">[[:File:Ashine8.png|Ashine8.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* [[Jew|Jacob sold his car]] and left him homeless in [[Chicago]] <ref name="arab"/>

* Tranny fetish (has yet to hook-up with [[Chris-Chan]]) <ref>[[:File:Ashine7.png|Ashine7.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* Accepts BJ's from minors <ref>[[:File:Ashine9.png|Ashine9.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

* Would leave his shit [[Sick Fuck|napkins in the garbage and floor]], left them at the air bnbs when they'd leave <ref name=airbnb"/>

* [[419_Nigerian_Email_Scams|Makes his money by buying ids/cc #'s on the dark web]], getting stuff on amazon with stolen cc and have the items sent to a drop site where he'd then sell them for bitcoin <ref name="amazon"/>

* [[Lol-cow|26 years old and still doesn't have a drivers license]]. <ref name="arab"/>

* Confirmed AEdiot believes he has [[Wizard|magical powers]]. <ref name="amazon"/>

{{Collapsegallery|Ashinine Tells-All|aediot2|center|<gallery>
File:AEDiot_buckethead.jpg|Used to contain his Pedo-Powers
File:AEdiot_doublechin.jpg|Elton-John knock-off
File:AEdiot_KO.png|Typical work day, no wonder ED was down
File:AEdiot_pig_pen.png|Yes, lives like a pig
File:AEdiot_schoolshooter.jpg|Yes, a fucking fortnite gun
File:ashine1.png|Jacob Sandusky
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:ashine2.png|Jacob's Asshole is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
File:ashine3.png|Jacob, grooming a 16-year old boy
File:ashine4.png|Geeze, who would have thought?
File:ashine5.png|Coming to an airbnb near you
File:ashine6.png|Jacob trying to hire legal consel from a 16-year old boy
File:ashine7.png|Tranny dick pics and Jewish Tricks
File:ashine8.png|AEdiot's Amazon Scams
File:ashine9.png|[[sick fuck]]
File:ashine10.png|Family cocksleeve
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Trust me cat.gif|Trust me, I'm a [[dramacrat|cat]]
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

==November 4, 2021: V&==
{{quote|Jacob Evan Stellmach, 25, of the 5100 block of North Sheridan Road, Chicago, was charged with retail theft in the 6800 block of Carpenter Road on Nov. 4.|{{archive|hivN3|Chicago Tribune}}}}

On [[Last Thursday|November 4, 2021]], Jacob got charged with [[Stealing|retail theft]] in the 6800 block of [[Mario|Carpenter Road]] of [[Chicago|the Raq]]. Turns out [[Steal This Wiki|stealing the wiki]] wasn't the only hustler move he wanted to pull out.

According to Police reports, Jacob was seen parking his bike at a broken fence and putting on a Ski Mask were he ducked into a commercial lot.  Police were called and while talking to the homeowner, Jacob strolled back to his bike with the stolen goods <ref>[[:File:Stellmach_theft2.png|Stellmach_theft2.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>. The merchandise included two baby Owlet Smart Socks, and two Magic Keyboards for a total of $856.00 in retail theft.<ref>[[:File:Stellmach_theft1.png|Stellmach_theft1.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

When asked if the items were stolen, Stellmach replied [[Chappelle|"I plead the fifth"]].  When asked if he could provide a receipt, Jacob nodded "no". Subsequent viewing of store footage showed [[Looting|Jacob walking out with the merchandise]].

{{Collapsegallery|Arrest Records|aediot4|center|<gallery>

File:Stellmach_theft1.png
File:Stellmach_theft2.png
File:Stellmach_theft3.png
File:Stellmach_theft4.png

</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

==Current Whereabouts and Court Dates==

The Main Event match of ''The People of Illinois v. Jacob Stellmach'' will be held at the Skokie Courthouse on '''December 22nd at 1:30 pm CST, room 103. 

Please send all thoughts and prayers, and lawsuits to:

5101 North Sheridan RD unit#413
Chicago, IL 60640 <ref>[[:File:Stellmach_theft4.png|Stellmach_theft4.png - Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

== Gallery ==
{{Collapsegallery|IF HE SHOOT YA|aediot3|center|<gallery>
File:Mr ceo2.jpg
File:AediotSuck.png.jpg
File:Baen.png
File:FATJEW5.jpg
File:Likeicare clowns Aediot over Xenforo.png|Aediot on the subject of him not being able to set up a forum

</gallery>|<gallery>

File:Aediot.jpg
File:Aediotfag1.png
File:Aediotfag2.png
File:Aediotfag3.png
File:Adepoopnapkins1.png
File:Adepoopnapkins2.png
File:Aediotcleanitup.png
File:Edwikimerch.png
File:Cleanitup.jpg
File:Aediotnapkin.png
File:Floydaediot.png
File:Kfcnapkins.png
File:Aediotcockvore.png
File:AediotPooperScooper.jpg
File:AediotNeat.jpg
File:Assnapkinsgangsta.png
File:Aediotbunny.jpg
File:Aediotshitted.jpg
File:AEdiotLovesBlackCock.jpg
File:BLACKEDAediot2.png
File:Aediotancestor.png
File:aediot goatse napkin.gif
File:AssNapkin911.jpg
File:AediotJesus.png
File:Aediotpoopbed.png
File:Aediotfucked.jpg
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

== External Links ==
* <s>{{Website|Aediot-favicon.png|http://aediot.cash|aediot.cash}}</s> - His gay personal website.
* <s>{{twitter|7Deadly7ins}}</s> - His Twitter. Banned.
* <s>{{twitter|AEmenace}}</s> - Now with more [[edgy|edge]]. Banned again.
* {{Wikilink|User:Aediot|Aediot}} - His TOW account
* {{Linkedin|in/jacob-stellmach|Jacob Stellmach}} - Go on, [[No|hire this fag]] to write for you.
*{{Skype|live:.cid.a7da4f4574e4c8de aediot Æ}}
* {{ws|KF favicon.png|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-adezero-aediot-breakup-trashfire.89597|KiwiFarms Thread}} - Probably the most epic self-[[owned|0wn]] so far this decade.
* [https://www.gofundme.com/f/legal-fees-for-kangaroo-court?utm_campaign=p_cp_url&utm_medium=os&utm_source=customer Jacob's GoFundMe] he planned to use to pump and dump the wiki with.
* {{EDF|t|1510|EDF Thread #1510 "ASS NAPKINS"}}
* {{ws|KF favicon.png|https://archive.fo/Vsonp#selection-10139.0-10139.101|Twitter Thread}} - Owning The Libs By Telling An Autistic 12 Year Old To Suck Your Dick
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20180604201909/https://xerxescontract.io/ Xerxes on wayback]

== References ==
<references />

== See Also ==
* [[Ariel Rose Sapeda]] - sysop who runs the "official ED twitter" to get free [[Child porn|genshin impact]] money.
* [[Adezero]] - former gf
* [[Disgraced Encyclopedia Dramaticians]] - The full list
* [[𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕵𝖊𝖜𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗 𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘]]
* [[Zaiger420]]

<div class="nomobile" style="position:fixed; bottom:0;left:0;z-index:100; pointer-events:none">[[File:Chilljacob.png|170px]]</div>

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{{timeline|Featured article December 23 & 24, [[2022]]|[[December 21, 2012]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Christmas]]}}
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[[Category:People|Stellmach, Jacob]]