View source for Kevin and Kat

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[[Image:kingqueenbitch.jpg|thumb|The Two Biggest Dumb Fucks in the 
Western Hemisphere: Kevin and Kat, who also happen to be dork-assed 
[[Rennies]], showing off their [[Rennies|Ren Faire Finest]], also known 
as the 
clothes they spent 8,000 American Dollars on instead of paying the 
dentist to remove the calcified [[cum]] stains they both have on their 
teeth.]]

'''Kevin and Kat''' (hereafter known as Kevin and Ferris), sometimes 
called '''"Kevkat"''' and not to be mistaken for [[Tom Cruise|TomKat]], 
is a [[Narcissism|narcissistic]] two-headed mutant creature which was produced from [[incest]] in 
Monroe, [[Louisiana]]. 

The creature masquerades as two dysmorphic, overweight, and 
unbelievably miserable people named Kevin (the Oliver Twist boy), and 
Ferris, the 
pill-popping gold-digging [[whore]] who fucks around on Kevin, yet 
manages to convince him that she's been faithful to him every step of 
the 
way, so that she can keep getting fed and fucked by him, even though he sucks in bed '''by her own admission.'''
[[Image:kevkat.jpg|thumb|Kevin and Kat are seen at an early stage of 
development, in this rare file photograph of their spawning tank.]]

Kevin is a short and [[fat]] [[ghey]] [[wapanese]] wetback [[nerd]] who 
thinks he is [[buddha|Buddhist]], but in reality he's a big dorky 
closeted [[homosexual]] [[bitch]] who stalks people on the internet, 
and who 
has anger issues because he knows, deep down, that [[Son_of_art]] 
fucked his girlfriend, back when she was 155 pounds lighter. 

[[Teh internets]] simply lacks the space to tell the entire ''true'' 
story of these two twistoids, but in the spirit of [[lulz]] and 
[[pwned|pwning]] these two [[fucktards]], we have to try.

==The Prize-Fighting IRA Bitch... NOT!==
Ferris has to be met to be believed. Suffice it to say that she comes 
from [[White Trash|Whitetrashville]], [[Mississippi]], but she managed to act just pathetic 
enough (and become just skilled enough polishing [[penis|knobs]]) to 
convince old men to give their pension money to her, to pay for classes 
at a small university not far from Whitetrashville. 

Ferris, never one to be stopped by the facts, claims to be [[Irish]], 
even though she doesn't have a drop of [[Irish]] in her, and claims 
furthermore to be from Surrey, [[England]], in her [[Live Journal]] info. She 
is 
obssessed with all things [[English]], to further obfuscate her own [[white trash]]  
origins, and claims to be "[[Irish]]" because she lacks any sense of 
personal cultural identity. This isn't surprising, considering she's a [[fat]], ugly midget[[whore]] who came from [[Mississippi]], where no one has any 
cultural identity. She makes up for her '''utter lack of beauty''' by 
imagining that she looks just like many beautiful actresses, and tries 
to mimic their characters [[IRL]], including dressing like them and 
dyeing her hair. 
[[Image:ferris2.jpg|thumb|The renowned [[whore]] Kat/Ferris, trying her 
best to be someone she isn't- in this case, "Death" from the works of 
Neil Gaiman (notice the actual images of Death given in the upper right 
corner of this image, and compare to the [[white trash]] girl trying to be 
Death).]] 

[[Image:hotwomen.jpg|thumb|left|Here are four of the beautiful, successful, 
and attractive famous actresses that Ferris thinks she bears some 
resemblance to (LOL). She also tries to act like them, dress like them, 
and 
in all ways possible, steal their screen personas, to make up for her 
lack of personality and looks.]]

She calls herself a "prize fighter", and she SWORE in her old [[Live Journal]] that when she saw two people that she accused of stalking her 
again, she was going to look them in the eye and tell them off. What 
happened when she saw them again, a few weeks later, at a festival in 
Monroe, [[Louisiana]]? She '''RAN'''- literally ran- to her [[idiot]] boyfriend 
Kevin and began shaking and crying and being hysterical (her usual 
state of mind), and they had to leave the fair, immediately. '''PRIZE FIGHTER BITCH''': Zero Points. Down in round one.

She walks around terrified of all the people she used to be friends 
with that she managed to [[fuck]] over and [[piss]] off, ducking into 
buildings to avoid them when they see her, and now does the same thing in the 
city of [[New Orleans]], where she fled to, ostensibly to pursue another useless 
degree but really to hide from the people who [[hate]] her (also known as "everyone") and to find another sugar daddy- one that has money, style, and 
a substantial [[penis]] that can actually get hard more than once a month, unlike 
Kevin. 

It's good that she left Monroe, [[Louisiana]]: the entire English and 
History departments at the university there '''[[hate]]d''' her within an inch of 
her worthless life, and everyone talked [[shit]] about her behind her back. It didn't 
help that she [[lie]]d everytime she opened her mouth, fucked rich men and 
tried to act wealthy, sucked the [[cock]]s of the university goats and 
pigs and campus policemen, and tried to accuse everyone of plagiarizing 
her work. 

In a stroke of genius, the head of the English department refused to 
have anything to do with her and refused to give her a job in his 
department. Kevin's mother works in the English department, and refused 
to 
stand up for Ferris because she (like everyone else who isn't Kevin) 
'''can't fucking stand Ferris'''.

Ferris, like all dumbass attention [[whore]]s, is eaten up with mental 
illnesses, including "anxiety disorder", for which she pops pills like 
M&M's. Sadly, lacking the money she needs to get her medicine 
regularly, she had to make do with illegal [[drug]]s and [[alcohol]]. She 
became a 
pill-headed drug-addict who attempted [[suicide]] by overdose twice, 
both 
times being saved by a friend that she later began to [[hate]] and talk 
[[shit]] about.

[[Image:frankhisname.jpg|thumb|Ferris dated Frank for a time, coming to 
see him as her father, but angrily taunting him and making him cry on 
his deathbed at the hospital after she discovered that he wasn't 
really 
going to be able to leave her much money.]]

==HIS NAME WAS FRANK==
Ferris tried her hand at some good old fashioned Gold Digging early in 
life. By age 14, she was fucking men that she thought looked rich 
enough to get her away from her duties milking goats and giving 
[[blowjob]]s 
in Mississippi. Lacking a father-figure in her life, she jumped into 
bed with a man far old enough to be her father; his name was 
'''FRANK'''. Frank was a lawyer in Bastrop, Louisiana, a town (if 
possible) 
even more saturated with rednecks than Mississippi. 

Frank was a good man, but he had a weakness for poor little headcases 
like Ferris, and he gave her the [[money]] and father-figure she needed. He 
died of [[cancer]] finally, though it's equally as possible that Ferris 
killed him by constantly talking to him and making his blood pressure 
shoot 
up with her annoying, whiny bitch voice. It was during this period in 
her life that Ferris (withdrawing deeper into greed and psychosis) 
began to imagine that Frank was ACTUALLY her father.

When Frank died, he asked that what he had left in his estate be given 
to Ferris. But due to high hospital bills, he had two dollars and 
fifteen cents left over. Ferris threw a fit and began stealing property 
from this poor dead man's home and harrassing his family, who had to get 
the [[police]] to make her leave them alone.

Burned out, and with only two dollars and fifteen cents to her name, 
Ferris took what furniture she could get from Frank and moved into a 
small apartment complex, sucking [[dick]]s to pay rent. While walking 
around on campus, she was telling everyone that her "father" was in 
"[[Australia]]". What Ferris didn't realize was that the rest of the staff 
and students at her university knew that the man she was fucking for money 
was dead, and they were shaking their heads as she walked around lying 
about him, calling him her "father" and saying that he was in 
"[[Australia]]". 

To escape the fact that she was despised and [[hate]]d by everyone, even to 
the point that she claimed people were trying to '''kill''' her, Ferris 
decided to change her name. She narrowed the list down to "Katrina 
Muhoney Talbot" (mixing together something that was Irish sounding 
with 
the name of an Englishman she saw on television) or "Mary O'Malley 
Gilliam" for maximum "[[Irish]]" impact, and maximum distance from her 
bullshit [[white trash]] origins. Later, she realized that changing names 
costs money, and she couldn't find enough [[cock]]s to suck to make the 
needed cash.

==Ferris the Whore Meets Kevin the Dorky Little Virgin==
While living alone and sucking the [[dick]] of a local newspaper editor, 
Ferris met Kevin, Monroe, [[Louisiana]]'s only 25 year old [[virgin]]. Kevin 
was 
a little Hispanic wetback [[nerd]], with an deliciously plump, fag-baiting [[ass]] packed tight and round with 
[[fat]] and which always seemed fatter because he squeezed himself 
into very tight pants (which he never found out was the reason the local gentlemen of color were so inordinately ''nice'' to him). He was also a student at the same University as 
Ferris and just as hated in the ULM Languages department, where he was 
majoring in [[English]]. He was the [[Latin]]-speaking [[nerd]] and the little 
fucking [[asshole]] who thinks he's better than other people because he 
speaks more than one language. In his very [[nerd]]y, small-[[dick]] 
world, people who can't speak more than one language (whom he 
scornfully refers to as "monoglots") are second class citizens. While other guys 
were off getting laid and being normal kids, Kevin was playing 
role-playing games and [[video games]].

The real reason why he's such a steaming [[fucktard]] is because he was 
the short, [[fat]] little [[nerd]] who was picked on every day of his 
life from grade school. By the time he was in college, he was devoted to 
the idea of exceeding the strong, popular boys who actually got to have 
[[sex]] with [[women]] by using his brain, doing math problems, and reading 
[[Latin]]. If Kevin could actually get off his [[fat]] [[ass]] and work out, 
he'd 
be a bully with muscles; instead, he became a [[nerd|"BRAIN BULLY"]], but he 
still wasn't getting [[laid]]. 

To make himself even more insufferable to others, Kevin became an [[atheist]], 
so that he could look down on religious people. He became a [[vegetarian]], 
so that he could look down on people who eat meat. Thanks to these fine 
[[dork]] attributes, he became an EVEN LARGER FUCKING [[Asshole|ASSHOLE]] than he 
was before, even though all his former friends didn't think it was 
possible. Kevin, hating all things [[white]] or [[American]], tries his 
best to be [[Chinese]], but only ends up coming off as a retarded fucking 
[[wapanese]] bitch. He is second only to [[Hidoshi]] in how fucking 
stupid and obnoxious he is at being [[wapanese]]. 

He claims to be staunchly anti-capitalist, and a communist or 
socialist; he claims to be a [[Zapatistas|Zapatista]], even though 
he also tries his best to hide the Hispanic heritage that he is so ashamed of.
[[Image:kev1.jpg|thumb|Kevin grins a playful grin in this candid 
photograph of him preparing to go visit the man he was dating before he 
[[raped]] Ferris and began dating her.]]
By the time he became a little whiny dickhead that had almost no 
friends, he was perfectly ready to meet Ferris and begin the greatest 
period 
of his life: dating a girl that was a universally reviled, 
drug-addicted, gold-digging [[whore]].

==Life in the Gulag: The Kevin Routine==
Kevin managed to talk Ferris into having [[sex]] with him (while she 
was in a bourbon and xanax-induced stupor), and they began to date. It was almost 
like a [[The Big Bang Theory|poorly-written adult sitcom: a drug addicted, used-up whore with 
aspirations of high-class riches and a pretend education dating a 
chubby-assed dork virgin who was also an intolerable know-it-all]]. 
But there was nothing funny about what came next.
[[Image:kev2.jpg|thumb|Kevin does a little spin as he contemplates how 
much better he is than everyone else. Meanwhile, other people are still 
getting laid with hot women, while he's fucking a fatass little 
pill-popping whore.]]
Kevin set about "repairing" Ferris. He subjected her to the '''Kevin Routine''', designed to make her a suitable female for himself.
 

The '''Kevin Routine''' consisted of:

-Convincing Ferris to move in with him, and give up her apartment, and 
any freedom or privacy;

-Calling Ferris "fat" in front of other people (even though his ass 
looks like a hundred pounds of chewed bubble gum, but hey, it works on BPD cunts);

-Making fun of the way Ferris talks (like a cornpone hayseed from 
Redneckville, MS) and telling her that "no one would take her seriously 
in academia unless she spoke differently";

-Forcing Ferris to stop eating meat (but not the bone) and making her become a vegetarian 
like him, and throwing tantrums when he found her storing a meat 
product- shrimp curry- for a friend in his refrigerator;

-Calling Ferris a "drug addict" and making her feel bad constantly 
about her former habits, and even once '''throwing her out of the house 
when he caught her smoking a cigarette''';

-Refusing to help Ferris get the anti-anxiety medication she needed, 
calling her "drug addict" and preaching his idiot asshole belief that 
Ferris' shrink was just trying to "addict" her to drugs, on behalf of 
the evil drug companies, and making Ferris believe that she could "cure" 
herself with his [[Scientology|bullshit techniques of meditation and "rational" 
thinking]];

-Throwing violent tantrums and causing Ferris to have an anxiety attack 
because she spilled some tea into his bag of "Splenda" sweeteners 
(Kevin is morbidly afraid of anything [[fat]] because he himself is 
such a [[fat]]ass, and [like all people in denial] he projects this fear onto 
every lardass he comes across and hates them.). He thinks being a 
vegetarian and using Splenda will stop him from getting [[fat]], but refuses to acknowledge he 
was already [[fat]], like all vegetarians; eating almost nothing but 
potatoes, pasta, candy, and carbohydrates packs [[fat]] on his ass every day.

-Making fun of Ferris' eating habits, and calling them "trailer park"- 
for instance, Ferris enjoys eating crackers with her spaghetti (don't 
ask; it's a white trash whore thing) but Kevin actually 
'''said''', in front of other friends, when Ferris asked him for crackers to go 
with her spaghetti: ''' "Sorry, I guess I didn't learn to eat in a trailer park."'''

[[Image:hotasianwhore.jpg|thumb|left|This hot Asian woman doesn't even know 
that Kevin exists, but this picture of her has made him capable of 
having sex with Ferris on the few nights they've tried.]]

-Force-feeding Ferris breakfast cereal, by violently grabbing the hand 
that she was holding her spoon with, to force her to stop "clinking" 
the spoon against her teeth, because the noise was annoying him- all 
this to demonstrate the "proper" way of eating things with a spoon.

-Sucking in bed, and sexually frustrating Ferris, and preferring to 
play video games rather than have sex with her

-Making Ferris feel less attractive than the [[Asian]] [[whores]] that 
he beats off to in his [[Asian]] [[porn]] collection on his computer.

-Emptying Ferris's bank account and making her financially dependent 
on himself for food and to finish her "degree" from the local 
university, and even forcing her to sell her shitty car for 300 
dollars, further cutting down her ability to travel at all without being given rides by 
him, or using his car.

-Preventing Ferris from watching her favorite movies: The "Kill Bill" 
series by Quentin Tarantino, believing that they were "too violent" for 
her.

-And finally, last but not least, forcing Ferris to have an 
'''[[<big>abortion</big>]]'''. (See next section)

Ferris, not used to being dominated so firmly by such a pathetic man, 
but hating her mother too much to try and leave Kevin and go home or to 
ask for money, found herself more thoroughly [[fuck]]ed than she had 
ever been by any rich older man.

==The Sad Fate of Invader Sophie==
Kevin and Ferris were too fucking [[stupid]] to use birth control or 
condoms (though the rest of the world begged them to), and Ferris got 
pregnant. Kevin, the 24 year old big fucking child himself, immediately 
threw a hissy fit. Though Ferris wanted to name the "girl" "Sophie", Sophie was never destined to make it out of the womb because 
of 
Kevin's jealousy, immaturity, and stupidity. Of course, we musn't heap 
all 
the blame on Kevin, even if he does deserve most of it; Ferris was also 
lazy, selfish, and a fucking [[whore]] [[bitch]] as well, and let him 
talk her into the [[abortion]].

Kevin is the member of the unholy pair who actually talked Ferris into 
(read: forced her to) having the [[abortion]]. His case against his 
developing daughter can be outlined as such: (And '''these are his words'''):

-It is a scientific fact, Kevin said, that women who have babies often 
let the babies come between them and their male significant others. The 
child would come between them, so it should be aborted;

-The abortion was not a big deal, [[Truth|because the child was not really a 
human being, just a "lump of cells" (like a "tumor", as he called it)]];

-The child was causing Ferris too much pain (she had a minor medical 
condition associated with the pregnancy) and he couldn't, in "good 
conscience", live with himself knowing that "something" that he "put in 
her" was causing her such discomfort.


Kevin began literally poking at Ferris' belly, and referring to the 
fetus inside as''' "The Invader".''' He finally began threatening to 
leave Ferris; he stated that under NO circumstances would the child ever have 
his last name, nor would he be responsible for it, and finally, when he 
threatened to [[suicide|'''kill himself''']] if Ferris had her baby, 
Ferris went and had it murdered at a cheap abortion clinic in Jackson, 
[[Mississippi]].

To cover this event, which Kevin was TERRIFIED his parents would find 
out about (but you can tell them by calling 
[http://www.ulm.edu/~english/directory.htm #30 on this list]), Ferris 
lied 
and told all of their other three friends that she had a "bladder 
infection". Then they both went and became fucking baby-killing 
murderers.

==The True Life Affair with Son_of_Art==
You won't believe this next part, but we assure you, '''it actually happened'''. Kevin had a friend who lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, 
who 
moved back to Monroe (where Kevin was busy fucking up the life of Ferris 
and 
being the little shit he is)- this friend was none other than the famous [[Son_of_Art]]. 
He had been friends with Kevin before he moved to New Orleans and made 
contact with him upon moving back. Kevin and Ferris went to his house, 
and Ferris and [[Son_of_Art]] became friends.

They became friends because while Kevin was at work teaching high 
school and calling his students "niggers" and "thugs" to all of his 
friends at home (an odd thing for him, considering he was never 
[[racist]] 
before he and his bad temper had to teach public school), Ferris was 
taking his car and visiting [[son_of_art]] every morning and having 
[[sex]].

==A Titanic Sex Scene==
On the first morning Ferris [[fuck]]ed [[Son_of_art]], he was up and 
about his house, and she entered his bedroom and slid under his 
covers. 
When he returned to his bed, she said to him '''"I want to do something devilish."''' When asked what that might be, she said '''I want to show you my [[boob|breasts]], so that you can see how much they look like Kate Winslet's from Titanic.''' She proceeded to get up, and disrobe before 
the lascivious eyes of [[Son_of_art]] who then soundly [[fuck]]ed her, 
making her squeal in a way that Kevin never could. This amounted to an 
initial pity [[fuck]], as Ferris had spent weeks crying and whining to 
[[Son_of_art]] about the routine that Kevin was putting her through. It 
turned into a month's worth of pity fucks. 

Kevin, who was a regular asshole to [[Son_of_art]] at times when they 
visited one another, made [[Son_of_art]]'s job easy- what guy wouldn't 
fuck the girlfriend of a guy who treated him like shit? Besides, Ferris 
had not yet gained the 155 pounds that she put on later, so she was 
moderately [[fuck]]able at the time.

This affair continued for three months. Ferris would come over every 
day to [[fuck]], bitch about Kevin, vent her frustrations and hatred 
for 
him to [[Son_of_art]], and eat hamburgers behind Kevin's back. One day, 
[[Son_of_art]] and Ferris even went to Kevin's own house while he was 
gone, and fucked each other in his bed and in other rooms in his house.

==It All Comes Tumbling Down==
Ferris, true to her sociopathic nature, waited until the high school that Kevin worked at let out for the summer; then, to hide her affairs (which 
could not continue due to Kevin being home all the time) broke off all 
contact with [[Son_of_art]] and his closest male friend, Seth, whom she 
also 
tried to [[fuck]], and began telling Kevin that she was "being stalked" 
by [[Son_of_art]]. [[Son_of_art]], in a rare show of conscience, 
decided that due to the fact that EVERY single human being that Ferris 
ever 
met or made friends with later came to hate her, it was possible that 
Ferris had over-stated her case against Kevin, and came clean. He met 
Kevin in person, admitted to the affair, turned over '''actual 
evidence''' 
of the affair, and apologized.

[[Image:kevex.jpg|thumb|Kevin is seen here being executed by the 
[[Vietnam]]ese Government for being a total fucking dumbass, and for being in 
denial 
about his girlfriend sleeping around on him.]]

Kevin, whose massive pride and [[Narcissism|narcissism]] would never allow him to 
imagine that the one girl who would open her legs for him could 
'''ever''' 
actually sleep around on him, refused to believe the sad truth. He 
decided that [[Son_of_art]] had overnight become a computer [[hacker]] 
expert 
and had "falsified" both emails and [[Live Journal]] pages where Ferris 
admitted to the affair, and believed Ferris when she denied the entire 
incident. 

He joined her in calling [[Son_of_art]] a "stalker" and even called the 
police on [[Son_of_art]], only to have them laugh at him. Kevin, the 
big fucking douchebag, refuses to admit the truth even to this day, 
even 
though he believes that it happened deep down. How does the world know 
that he believes it? 


==Kevin Jacks off Dani==
Over a year after Kevin and Ferris "broke all contact" with 
[[Son_of_art]], Kevin went onto the website of [[Dani Faulk]] and began 
talking shit 
about [[Son_of_art]] and even e-mailed a letter to [[Dani Faulk]], all 
of 
which can be seen at Dani's retarded [http://www.thecrookedheath.com/email.html website]. The "Email from an ex-friend" that Dani makes available at this link is from Kevin, who also speaks against 
[[Son_of_art]] in the shout box (as "Amicus"). Notice how Kevin's 
version 
of the facts omits [[Son_of_art]] FUCKING HIS GIRLFRIEND over and over.

[[Image:fatbastard6.jpg|thumb|left|Kevin is shown here, in a very recent 
photograph, after surviving the gunshot to the head inflicted on him by 
the [[Vietnam|Vietnamese]] Government after they found out what a stupid fuckstain he 
was. Note the Hispanic heritage that has clearly come out in him, along 
with his many chins.]]

Stalking anyone? Obsession? No, not Kevin! He's too busy being a 
[[faggot]] in New Orleans, Louisiana, teaching "elementary Latin" at 
Tulane 
University, as you can see from the schedule 
[http://www.tulane.edu/~courses/autumnt/F082.html here]: (second 
instructor down). The Tulane faculty is very proud to have such fine, 
upstanding individuals teaching Latin 101 to their bored incoming 
freshmen. It 
is believed, however, that there are more [[white]] people at Tulane 
for Kevin to teach, so that he doesn't have to make racist remarks 
about 
[[black]] people, like he did about the [[black]] high school students who didn't give a shit about the Latin he 
tried to teach them. Kevin is pursuing a Classical Studies degree at 
Tulane, putting off living in the real world as long as he can, and 
trying to get a degree that he can be proud of while working in a 
fast 
food drive-thru.

==Kevin and Ferris Kill Thousands of People==
In an act of righteous anger and justice, [[God]], who could no longer 
stand Ferris or Kevin, decided to kill them both. The '''DAY''' after they 
moved to [[New Orleans]], Hurricane Katrina struck, destroyed 
everything 
they owned, and forced them to return to Monroe, [[Louisiana]]. Thousands 
of people died so that [[God]] could take a shot at these two fucks. 
Sadly, they escaped with their lives, but they had to be subjected to 
humiliation back in Monroe, where the city-wide party that was thrown 
to 
celebrate them leaving was still going on. 

[[Image:hurricanekat.jpg|thumb|This photo shows some of the devastation 
caused by Kevin and Ferris, when they brought Hurricane Katrina down on 
the residents of New Orleans]]

The fact that these two shitfucks survived Hurricane Katrina answers an ages-old 
philosophical question: it is certain now that [[God]] either isn't 
real, or 
isn't as powerful as most people let on. Kevin and Ferris actually 
RETURNED to the University in Monroe, while living with Kevin's 
parents, and 
had to be further humiliated, being unable to be pretentious fuckstains 
in [[New Orleans]], where both had planned to be graduate students. 

A very long few months then dragged on, until they finally left again, 
and to this day, [[New Orleans]] is where they live. They both work at 
their respective universities, while Ferris looks for a new sugar daddy 
to 
[[fuck]] and leave Kevin over. It is hoped that at some future date, a 
black person thug in New Orleans will [[rape]] and kill Ferris and shoot 
Kevin down in the streets, and thus remove the scourge of Kevin and 
Ferris 
from the [[human]] race forever. Until that happy day, there is always a 
danger that Ferris will conceive again and spawn offspring. However, 
most people aren't too scared by this possibility; Ferris has shown her 
willingness to [[Abortion|murder]] one child, and there's no reason to assume that 
she wouldn't do it again and again.

[[Image:katheadoff.jpg|thumb|left|Ferris poses for a fake execution, which 
makes the rest of the world depressed at how fake the axe was. Notice 
how good Ferris is at having a dead look in her eyes. We can all only 
cross our fingers and hope.]]

==The Laughs Never End==
You can actually see Ferris lying about her background and her home of 
origin at her Live Journal. Notice how she claims to be from "Surrey, 
England" [http://little-goblin.livejournal.com/profile here.](This website has been deleted, probably from so many people hating this bitch) Notice 
the 
list of schools in England that she never attended, and take note of 
the fact that she actually gets honest and lists UNO as her current 
school, which it is. You can visit the basic English class she teaches 
by 
seeing her schedule [http://www.uno.edu/english/gradasst.cfm Here.] 
She's 
the third Graduate assistant from the Bottom. Take note, gentle readers, of the [mailto:mighty_hermione@hotmail.com email address].
But be careful if you decide to visit- if you 
tell her you came to see her after seeing this article, she may have 
an 
anxiety attack and die.

While busy claiming to look like all sorts of sexy women, she has currently centered her lack of personality on Helena Bonham Carter, 
as anyone can see who looks at her LJ icons 
[http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=little_goblin here.]

The only thing really honest about her Live Journal is the name: Little 
Goblin. That describes her perfectly.

==Kat/Ferris Finds Yet Another Dolt That is Desperate Enough to Fuck Her and Screws Over Kevin==
'''This just in!''' Kevin and Ferris have broken up! The KevKat entity is no more, and Kevin has reverted back to his virginal, whiny, nasty spic-assed [[fucktard]] self. Now that he's lost the one person would spread her legs for him, Kevin has devolved back into the little pussy asshole he was before, and become 145% '''more''' pathetic. I mean, let's face it; he was '''far more''' interested in computer games than he was in Kat/Ferris' badly-stretched cunt, but it was nice for him to have the option of fucking a warm body, as opposed to his hand and his online [[Asian]] [[porn]] collection.
[[Image:kfed444.jpg|thumb|FedEx and KevEx are now brothers under the skin, joined together in the painful loss of their women- except that Kevin Federline was fucking a woman that was way prettier, way smarter, and way classier and wayyyy the fuck richer than Ferris/Kat could ever hope to be. With any luck, KFed may land more rich, blonde pussy, but KevEx will only land his right hand and a jar of vaseline for "sex breaks" during the times he has his latest favorite computer game on pause.]]
'''But now she's gone''', having found an older man father figure who will "protect" her, let her eat meat, let her smoke, and let her use drugs. He may even feed her something other than the oriental flavored ramen noodles that Kevin gave her. Without a doubt, her new dumbass squeeze is fucking her brains out as this article is being written, and she's '''screaming her lungs out in a way that she never did with Kevin'''. Whoever the new fool is, he is expected to last for about 3 months, before she uses him up and dumps him too. Hopefully, unlike Kevin, he won't alienate all of his friends before that happens, and won't find himself alone in a huge city, jacking off and fighting with people on [[teh internets]]. By now, Ferris/Kat has accused Kevin of "stalking" her (read: trying to call her, talk to her, or accidentally driving down the same road as her) at least 15 times and she's run to the phone shrieking and crying and filed police reports against him.

Kevin is now called '''KevEx''', and can join [[Kevin Federline]] in a career being an even bigger fucking loser. His hatred for women has now increased 178%, and you can be sure that soon he will begin fantasizing about killing women while beating off and dreaming about Ferris/Kat, all to take out his frustrations on the fucking [[whore]]. He's too big of a pussy to actually hurt anyone or beat the living [[fuck]] out of Ferris, which she richly deserves. As the crime situation in [[New Orleans]] deteriorates, there is still a good hope that Ferris and KevEx will end up murdered. Perhaps Kat/Ferris' new [[pimp]] will just save some scumbag criminal the time and drown her used-up ass in the Mississippi River. Let's hope he does it before Kat/Ferris murders yet another baby.


==External Links==

<s>[http://little-goblin.livejournal.com/profile Ferris' Livejournal] (Please note how she belongs to the Live Journal 
community "I_R_A Bitches" and "Imissmydad" even though her father isn't 
actually dead.)</s> BALEETED  


==See Also==
* [[Dani Faulk]]
* [[Son of Art]]
* [[Wapanese]]

{{Timeline|Featured article November 2, [[2006]]|[[Uncyclopedia]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Jenn Pisstler]]}}

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