View source for Nawlins

[[Image:New_Orleans.jpg|thumb|A typical resident enjoying the sites of downtown New Orleans.]]
[[Image:Neorleans.jpg|thumb|Come visit the "Underwater State".]]
{{quote|'''[[Black people|Black people]] reside in New Orleans. [[No|Blacks will study the Torah?]] God said, let’s bring a tsunami and [[DO IT FAGGOT|drown them.]] Hundreds of thousands remained homeless. [[Over 9000|Tens of thousands]] have been killed. [[For the lulz|All of this because they have no God]]'''|Chief Sephardic Rabbi Ovadia Yosef,<br>May 5, 2009 (Archived: {{archive|J9fp|1}} {{wayback|https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3138779,00.html|title=2}})}}

'''New Orleans''', sometimes [[Your mom|'''The Big Easy''']], was once a humid, rancid shithole in the [[US]] state of [[Louisiana]] populated solely by [[niggers]], believed by anyone who didn't live there to be "[[hookers and blow|a good time]]."

The only time of the year that New Orleans even came close to being a good time was [[party hard|Mardi Gras]], which was kind of like the Mummers Parade with [[booze]]. Otherwise, New Orleans was known for its crappy [[handegg|football]], domesticated jazz, faux zydeco, termites, [[poverty|po'chilluns]], and [[cat]]fish.
On August 28, [[2005]], almost the entire population either [[Katrina|drowned]], or migrated to Memphis, [[Tennessee]]. Which is fine either way.

== Example Usage ==
"[[George Bush doesn't care about black people|I don't care]] about this Louisiana/New Orleans shit because they're all just a bunch of [[hick|banjo playing]], [[a cat is fine too|possum eating]], overalls wearing, straw hat wearing, bigamist, tries to <s>get you to</s> [[marriage|marry]] his [[fat]] [[ugly]] [[twin]] daughters, family [[kidnap]]s you when you refuse, [[Josef Fritzl|keeps you in a hole]] in [[basement dweller|their basement]] and [[cannibal|eats you]] because all their protein tastes like [[Korea]]n food, swamp trash.

"[[also, cocks|And black people]]."

== The [[pwn|Pwnage]] of Katrina ==
[[Image:Katrina.jpg|thumb|A typical New Orleans recording artist.  New Orleans, the birthplace of modern jazz, is famous for live music.]]The trigger of the great migration of August 28, 2005 was a giant swirling air blender sent down by [[God]] to finally put an end to Mardi Gras; which he saw as a competitor for his lagging celebration of Easter. [[God]] called this destructive force [[Katrina]], after his favorite [[phone sex]] girl. 

[[Al qaeda]] has claimed responsibility.

[[Image:poorwhites.jpg|thumb|Brave souls [[looting|finding]] what food they can to survive.]]
[[Image:lootingbastard.jpg|thumb|An evil [[looting|looter]] stealing cookies.]]

===The Aftermath===

The storm thoroughly [[Perma-ban|banninated]] New Orleans, so it created a new username, "Atlantis 2: Electric Boogaloo" since [[Atlanta]] had already secured itself "Atlantis" in case [[God]] finds a similar fate for them. Formerly humid and rancid, it is now wet, humid and rancid. Residents who are unable to adapt to life underwater have since [[death|died]]. The other, non-migratory [[pussy|pussies]] remain behind, [[bitch|bitching]] and moaning about the storm despite knowing that they come half a dozen times every year. Some of them didn't even have insurance - these people are known as [[fucktard|fucktards]]. You will see them soon crying and singing in telethons to raise money from poor saps in the rest of the country who take pity on them for '''choosing to live in a city in the path of hurricanes every fucking year without insurance.''' Contributors are also [[fucktard|fucktards]], but will feel good about themselves anyways, despite having paid the taxes for the relief plus charitable donations whose tax write-offs are negligible.

===Looting vs. Finding===
According to a [[meme]] which swept through [[Livejournal]] like [[chlamydia]] through a [[High school]] [[dance]] team, it is extremely easy to confuse [[looting]] and [[theft|finding]]. The distinction is obviously a [http://www.livejournal.com/community/blackfolk/2420240.html very sensitive issue] which needs to be treated with [http://www.livejournal.com/users/jameth/1961928.html the utmost caution] and [http://www.livejournal.com/users/jameth/1961439.html respect for others].  For a helpful guide to differentiating between finding and looting, please see [[looting]]. 

===Quote from [[W]]===

[[Image:HURRICPWNED.JPG|thumb|These people have been [[pwned]]]]
"sh!t im white and id be lootin too if i had the chance, why not, i bet half them people are looting becuase they are stranded and [[hungary]], and if i had to waid threw chest high waters id need a few drinks too, ive seena few photos of the looting soo far and almost everyone was ALL [[white people]], so whos the n!gger now b!tch"[http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/index.cgi?okay=get_topic&topic_id=1993736]

===Causes===
According to the ever insightful weather website [http://www.godhatesfags.com], the [[batshit]] insane Minister [[Phelps]], the exact cause of the tragedy was clearly [[homosexuality]].  [[God]], in an effort to stop [[Southern Decadence]] decided instead to smite the people of New Orleans for their abominable sins.[http://www.godhatesfags.com/featured/20050831_thank-god-for-katrina.html]

An alternate explanation is that [[God]] really digs [[gay marriage]].  After all, both [[Louisiana]] and [[Mississippi]] passed Constitutional Amendments banning gay marriage by wide margins (more than 70%) last year.  Ours, clearly, is a [[rage|vengeful]] and angry God with a thing for watching [[CP|boys kissing]].

A third possible cause is that "[http://evesapple.blogspot.com/2005/08/i-do-not-make-this-shit-up.html Louisiana has 10 child-murder-by-abortion centers - FIVE are in New Orleans]".  This is clearly proven by the fact that satellite images of Katrina look like fetuses.

Finally, ''Katrina and the Waves'' were playing in New Orleans at the time. [[Coincidence]]? Or something more sinister?

[[Image:Nolafetus.jpg|frame|none|The resemblence is uncanny.]]

One solid conclusion can be drawn from these competing [[theories]]: it's all God's fault, and He's a bit of a [[schizophrenic]] [[asshole]].  Also, it's [[rapetime]] at the convention center!

==Gallery==

{{center|
<gallery>
File:Looting.gif
File:Beernigga.jpg
File:Nawlins.jpg
File:Hurricane Katrina Sheeeit.jpg
File:Katrina Sunshine.jpg
File:Mastercard.jpg
File:Small_Flood.jpg
</gallery>
}}

==See Also==

[[File:Old People - Flasher Grandpa.jpg|thumb|He got more beads than your girlfriend.]]

*[[Deepwater Horizon]]
*[[Looting]]
*[[NawlinWiki]]
*[[Louisiana]]
*[[IRL drama]]
*[[Atlantis]]
*[[Southern Decadence]]
*[[George Bush doesn't care about black people]]
*[[Climategate]]
*[[Haiti]]
*[[SANDYLOOTCREW|#SANDYLOOTCREW]]

== External Links ==

*[http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/9/6/34041/87727  New Orleans: A Choose Your Own Adventure]
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{{Timeline|Featured article August 31, [[2005]]|[[Ninjas vs. Pirates]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[George Bush doesn't care about black people]]}}

[[Category:Locations]]