View source for R9gay

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[[File:Sadpepewojak.png|thumb|left|The eternal fate of being a beta.]]
[[File:R9kexplained.png|thumb|r9k, the angry virgin hideout.]]

'''/r9k/''' (also known as '''/rk9/''', "Robot 9000", "arcanine", '''/r9gay/''', and '''/relationships9000/''') is one of the final boards added to 4chan on [[4chan#02.2F19.2F2008_-_The_Trial_boards_and_the_death_of_.2Fn.2F_-_News|February 19th, 2008]]. It is 4chan's official board for [[Faggotry|relationship advice]] (or rather ''lack of relationship'') discussing [[Incest|childhood memories]] and hooking up with fellow [[Basement dweller|r9friends]]. Its current iteration serves as the official [[Virgin|wizard]] board, complete with endless ''tfw no gf'', [[NORP|normie]] and womanhate threads.

After childhood memories of [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075931/plotsummary being ræped by a robot] surfaced in therapy, [[m00t]] took a page from [http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/ Randall Munroe's blog] and created the board. It is now moderated by the aborted fetus of the aforementioned tryst, a bot named "ROBOT9000" that prevents the same image or text from being reposted [[lies|EVAR AGAIN]].
It initially showed a lot of promise as the best general discussion board on 4chan, apparently immune to [[The Cancer|the failure]] that contaminated  [[B|/b/]]. 

However, m00t's little lab experiment has since turned into his [[FAIL|Frankenstein's monster]], as it has since been populated with [[OVER 9000|millions and millions]] of [[angst]]y teenage [[moralfag]]s who blow their load every time they realize that what they're saying can only ever be said again with slight variation. Every topic on the board is centered around their [[liberal]], elitist [[BAW|BAWWWWWW]]fest antics, taking no care to show anything but [[contempt]] and disrespect for their [[btard|/b/tarded]] elders and superiors. The aforementioned fags [[fail|bring it]] with [[Sandwich Chef|thread sandwiches]] made of [[NORP]]s, [[Dr. Phil]], and [[AIDS]]. If you're ever in need of a good [[ROFL]], any given [[thread]] on '''/r9k/''' will turn that [[death|frown]] [[lulz|upside down]].

The influx of [[sensitive]]fags came from the likes of [[Digg]] and [[Enturbulation]] after reading of [[4chan]] due to [[Project Chanology]]. Droves of butthurt [[LJ]] and [[dA]] faggots soon followed, bringing their constant whining about [[Anonymous]] being "mean" to [[Aspies]] and other [[Camwhore|innocent victims]], [[ED]] being a racist and homophobic [[lulzcow|attack site]], and generally being [[hypocrisy|pots accusing kettles of being niggers]]. This has [[YHBT|rankled the hackles]] of some oldfag /b/tards, resulting in some very [[children|ungentlemanly name-calling]]. Over the years, r9k changed dramatically.


==The [[Gentlemen]] of /r9k/==

[[File:Betauprising.jpg|thumb|center|500px|<center>[[Beta Uprising|The one thing this board will never achieve, other than getting laid.]]</center>]]


[[Image:Rk9anonwithrobothand.jpg|thumb|right|150px|/r9k/'s old [[Anonymous]] vision.]]

Initially a haven from [[The Cancer]] for [[B|battle]]-weary bonafide Oldfag [[B|/b/tards]], /r9k/ quickly became invaded with [[elitist|uppity]] [[newfags]] claiming [[Oldfag]] status and calling themselves "'''[[Gentlemen]]'''", "'''lu/r9k/ers'''", or "'''robots'''".

The term "Gentlemen" is certainly sardonic. It dates back to the days of yore when the denizens of /r9k/ would post in the manner of verbose ding-dongs in order to avoid the dreaded mute. These days, however, an influx of newfags - too new to have even been on /r9k/ since its birth, mere months ago - will refer to themselves as "robots". This influx has also meant that /r9k/ is often nothing more than /b/ with "MUTEBLOCK" on the end of every post and a few pixels changed in every image.

/r9k/ was created to give OC a safe space from memetic shitposting, which is why it had the robot. In the old days there were threads filled entirely with greentext stories. People said "epic" unironically and referred to themselves as gentlemen. The stories about being awkward, dropping spaghetti, and being rejected slowly took on an angrier tone, and the introduction of "Wojak" and "Sad Pepe" lead to a proliferation of feelposting, culminating in the board destroying line >tfw no gf. moot deleted the board. When it came back, it returned as a caricature of itself, more bitter and misogynistic than ever. It was very angry for a while, but slowly the most depressed and hateful posters left for wizardchan and /r9k/ became more capable of poking fun at itself. Smug Pepe emerged and this lead to a slew of original content, beginning with manchild stories, then POO POO PEE PEE, then good boy points and tendies and all the other garbage. This drew the attention of reddit and /b/ that this place was a haven for dank memery, not a sewer of sad, depressing greentext stories and bitter virgins who told you to fuck off if you mentioned having a girlfriend. There has always been a decent amount of shitposting, but suddenly the entire board went nuclear. Threads started sliding off the catalog about twice as quickly and the posting quality dropped dramatically. Now, the board is pretty much a tamer mixture of /soc/ and /b/. We don't know where all the feelfags went, wizardchan is even more hostile to them.

For /r9k/, there have been three eras.

'''The Gentlemen Era: 2008 - 2011'''

'''The Feels Era: 2012 - 2014'''

'''The Normie Era: 2015 - 20??'''


The change of eras is pretty much solely attributed to the growth of the internet, and consequently, the growing popularity of 4chan. The more exposure it got, the more people looked into it. The more popular it became, the more normie-lized 4chan became. All boards suffer from this, but due to the nature of /r9k/, it was hit hard.


After feelfags ruined it, robots are comprised mostly from these 4 types of people:

[[Image:Smugpepescrooge.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Typical Smug Pepe & Wojak content]]
# Virgin betas who desperately want a GF who ask for advice to other virgins on how to obtain said GF, with expected results. More often than not these robots simultaneously profess an unfathomable hate towards women, which brings the question of why they want a GF in the first place.
# [[Cuckoldry|Cuckolds]] who hate normies because they're more successful than they are.
# "Fembots" attention-whoring because they know pathetic virgin betas will both rage at them and put them on a pedestal.
# [[Wizardchan|Wizardchan]] refugees. The outcasts of the outer rim of society who recently lost their chan and haven't found out it's actually back. They are usually the most disfunctional omega autists on the entire website. They left /r9k/ in the first place because they couldn't handle the idea of normies browsing it; what's left of the ones that didn't commit suicide after the temporary disappearance of wizchan or wander off to "magicchan" has crawled back to /r9k/, where they slowly infest it with stories of pooping in their pants, while using feces-ridden "Smug Pepe" & "Wojak" image macros.


Some common terms used by robots are:

*KV - Kissless virgin. 
*Wizard - 30+ year old virgin, usually a failure aside acquiring pussy.
*Lich - 40+ year old virgin.
*Wraith - 50+ year old virgin.
*[[Cooldude|Chad Thundercock]] - The named personification of the stereotypical ‘fraternity’, sexually active alpha male.
*[[16-year-old girl|Stacey Thundercunt]] - The female equivalent of Chad. The unrequited love of the Robot.
*Gentle Femdom - A constantly remade thread comprised of faggots who want to be the girl in the relationship.
*Rose - Some camwhore no one but obsessive, lonely robots care about.
*Katya - See above.
*Smug Pepe/Smug Frog - The personification of /r9k/'s war against normies and Wojak's worst nightmare.
*Wojak/That Feel Guy - Visual representation of a robot's FEELS. Constantly abused by Smug Pepe.


It's not hard to see where this one's going: once the likes of [[B|/b/]], [[gun|/k/]], and [[hentai|/h/]] get a whiff of the [[faggotry|bunched panties]] emanating from /r9k/, [[Anonymous]] will likely [[vore|eat its own]].

== The old rules from era one==

[[Image:R9k rules.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Evolution in action.]]

'''/r9k/''' <s>was</s> is an imageboard where there were no reposts.
<s>Rules back then</s> ([[disregard that]], the robot was reinstated):

'''RULES''':
[[Image:R9k bot.jpg|thumb|right|200px|gleep glop [[Hitler|zeig heil]]!!1!]]
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no reposts.
Rules/observations/etc:
# If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
# The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
# Each mute time is 2^n (thanks, mathsfags) in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
# Quotes, eg >>1, are not viewed by /r9k/. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of /r9k/. (This also applies to >quotes)
# Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality is punished with the full force of the banhammer. Even testing R9K's parameters seems to draw the ire of the mods.
# Images are included. Slight changes in exif data, etc, however, seem to circumvent this rule, but like with text if you break the filter the REAL LIVE MODS will banhammer you.
# Your mute count never resets or goes backwards. (This will probably be changed eventually) Mute counts decrease slowly.
# You cannot post a picture without text.
# Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
# The too low in content filter was broken for a while, resulting in a lot of crappy mutes. Sorry. Mods have twice reset the mute counts because of this.
# Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
# The original algorithm was designed by XKCD: http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
# /r9k/ cannot [[Suicide|self-terminate]].

== How to troll /r9k/ ==
/r9k/ is one of the easiest boards to troll. Known methods for trolling include:

* Make a thread containing only >Tfw no gf
* Say Atheists are wrong and gay.
* Say abortions are wrong
* Say you're from /b/.
* Say you're from [[ED]].
* Say you're from /cgl/.
* Express conservative or racist opinions.
* Express liberal opinions.
* [[Guro]] or [[Shock Image]]s - Gentlemen are not true [[Anonymous]], and thus have not been hardened to the [[zippocat|realities of the world]].
* Post as a girl.
* Give them [[Constructive Criticism]] about how to improve themselves and be more appealing to the opposite sex (Points extra if you recall that nobody will pity them and the more they isolate, the more implausible is to them to have a normal life and having normal social relationships)
* Post as <font color=red>[[Namefag|Pepe, Peepe, P3epe, P3eepe]]</font>, or any of the variants; This is guaranteed to make you a successful troll.
* Bring up a moral debate about child pornography. 

Any of these guarantee [[at least 100]] posts.

== Workarounds (Muteblocking) ==

[[Image:R9kposter.png|thumb|left|200px|Average [[Basement Dweller|Gentleman]].]]

[[Image:Awesome-O.jpg|thumb|200px|[[m00t]] prepares to be boarded by his latest creation.]]

When the board was first created, you could work around the bot for text by quoting a few previous replies as this added uniqueness to your post. The [[Nazis|mods]] quickly fixed this part of the code and the bot now [[rapes|strip]]s quotes and replies before running the post through the [[Internet hate machine|database.]] 

Images can be reposted by changing the exif data, resizing, using a HEX editor, etc. before reposting. However, there are still actual mods on /r9k/, and they will issue swift and painful [[banhammer]]s to anyone who would oppose the new robot overlord.

The most common cheat is known as muteblocking. Just add "muteblock" (or mootblock or any other variation) at the end of your post. This only works if the post is a [[Spam|short one]] because the robot only checks the first thirty some characters of the message. For [[copypasta]], one must muteblock at the beginning.

Although technically you could get [[b&]], the [[mods]] don't seem to give a shit anymore.








== Differences from /b/ back in the day==
* The chaps of /r9k/ considered themselves to be far more sophisticated than the rabble of /b/, and refered to themselves as "[[Gentlemen]]". [[old meme|Of course, being the smartest and most sophisticated of the users on 4chan is roughly equivalent to winning gold at the Special Olympics]]. Another somewhat popular label is "lu/r9k/ers," which is a gross misrepresentation, since the majority of /r9k/ users are more likely to lurk [[LiveJournal|LJ]] than [[4chan]].
* /r9k/ gets far less traffic than /b/. While this does amount to fewer posts, it has its advantages. For instance, one can have actual discussions on /r9k/ without the thread being spammed by forced memes and kicked to page 10 by unoriginal material and camwhores.  
* The most obvious difference is, of course, that /b/ has had absolutely no original content whatsoever for about two and a half years. /r9k/, on the other hand, had nothing but [[Bullshit|fresh, new, and never-before-seen material]].
[[Image:R9kelitistfags.jpg|825px|center]]
* As seen above, /r9k/ users are far more [[Liberalism|politically correct]] and [[Waaaambulance|sensitive]] than average /b/tards. (Basically meaning they frequently say [[DOING_IT_WRONG|coons]] instead of [[niggers]]. [[Lolwut|This really makes a massive difference.]]
* [[E-psychiatrist|E-psychiatry]] is common practice on /r9k/ and it's never difficult to find an [[trying too hard|overzealous]] or [[attention whore|enthusiastic]] "troll" (the term is used loosely in this instance) offering an FBI profile on any given poster. If you're feeling [[emo|depressed]] or have any [[Closet Furry|personal issues]], /r9k/ has an [[13 year old boy|army]] of individuals ready to [[fellatio|serve your needs]] around the [[cock|clock]].
* /r9k/ perceives every woman that is slightly attractive or has an unusual nice appearance as a [[Trap|trap]].


== RIP /r9gay/ ==

{{Warning|[http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/            R9K is back]. Oh me gawwdz!!!1}}

[[Image:Moot-rape.jpg|thumb|right|m00t being ræped by '''r9000''''s daddy.]]

[[Image:R9ktrolledmoot.PNG|thumb|right|moot realizes what the rest of us knew months ago.]]

On January 17th, 2011, moot deleted the /r9k/ board from 4chan. The two types of robots found refugee in their respective new homes: the robots [[Shit nobody cares about|who seek gentlemanly discussion]] went to [[4chon.net|the new /r9k/]], which was created within an hour of moot's [[For the lulz|mercy kill]], while one other person decided to be [[Forever_alone|FOREVER ALONE]] and went to the [http://4chon.org/r9k/ other /r9k/], and the bawwfags [[virgin|who seek depressing discussion about bitches and hoes]] went to [http://bawwchan.org/ bawwchan] and now everyone is happy, forever alone, or sad(in the bawwfags case).

On October 23, 2011, it was resurrected, but that is pre-ancient history by now.

Like all boards on [[4chan]], /r9k/ is not without its [[Cancer|problems]]. Because the board's population is made of [[aspie]] [[nice guys]] and [[white knight]]s, /r9k/ has not generated any worthwhile [[meme]]s or even anything mildly [[lulzy]] over the course of its lifespan.

However, it still functions as a moderately good discussion board, and is still a good idea in theory. While one may still have to wade through a knee-deep pool of shit to get to the good content, this is really no different than any [[b|other board]] on 4chan.  How long the board will stay in its current condition is unknown, but the fact that the board went from great to rather shitty in about two months is not exactly a testament to its potential.

4chan's crack team of [[Nerd|experts]] has yet to determine how long the board will last in its current state. However, given how long /b/ has managed to survive while being terminally ill with cancer shows that there is still some hope for /r9k/. The best solution, obviously, would be for some sort of actual [[Mods|moderation]] and [[chemo]] on the part of [[moot]] and the 4chan mods. Of course, knowing moot, it is perfectly reasonable to expect two more [[World War III|World Wars]] and an [[Global Warming|Ice Age]] before any real help is provided.

Followup studies are grim, showing that /r9k/ has been fully overtaken by relationship bullshit, dating advice, and hookup threads. Yes, you read correctly, [[Gaia|fucking hookup threads]]. /r9k/ is also full of long-assed threads with "Is ED down or what?" every time [[ED is slow|ED breaks for a few seconds]], that get about 200 replies from both anonymous and tripfags. 

[[Last Thursday|Recently]] [[moot]] announced, via a sticky, that he was planning on setting up an individual relationshit board on 4chan. IF this happens, /r9k/ might get slightly less [[faggot]]ty for a while. Plus, newfags will have a whole new board to [[troll]]. Everybody wins. Except not, as /r9k/ sucks anyway, and the relationshit posters would come back after they realize that threads in their personal LiveJournal board don't get many replies.

[[Image:Moot revives r9k.JPG|thumb|left|moot on being a massive faggot.]]

But I think you ought to know /r9k/'s feeling very [[depressed]].

'''UPDATE:'''  With the creation of /adv/ice for the s/adv/irgins and /sci/ for the /sci/ducks, some tolerable level of lulz have indeed surfaced on /r9k/, much like bacteria covered in polysaccharides float to the top of a wastewater plant.  With the reappointing of several briefly-retired janitors and at least one full-time mod in /k/ and several previously hidden boards mainstreaming and drawing off the newfags, the board is getting back on its boil-strewn legs. /r9k/ is nothing but "Ask a (insert type of person different from lonely virgin here/lonely virgin)", relationship/sex advice and kids worrying about penis inspection day.
<br />
'''UPDATE:''' As of 1/17/11 /r9gay/ is no longer a part of 4chan. [[moot]] said this is because all of the Robots are whiny, pussy faggots, [[Brb soup|and then he went to make soup]].


==Oh God its Back==
On 10/22/11 [[Moot]] did the unthinkable and returned his evil creation, along with a politics board (/pol/), a DIY board (/diy/), and Harcore (/hc/). His explanation was that he had called out [[GirlVinyl]] for being a greedy whore and shutting down ED, and was therefore a giant hypocrite because he had shut down R9gay. Of course there was one huge difference; [[OhInternet]] is vastly inferior to ED, while 4chan post-/r9k/ is vastly better than 4chan with /r9k/.


==/r9k/'s <s>only</s> last raid==
[[R9gay/Raid|Was always going to be a complete success.]]


==Gallery==
{{cg|/r9k/|r9kgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Yotsubar9k.gif|Onwards to [[original content]]
Image:R9k Robot.jpg|The original incarnation of /r9k/ as per [[moot]]'s sticky.
Image:VICTOLY.JPG|I, for one, welcome our new robot overlord.
Image:R9kbanned.png|R9K has human slaves to do his dirty work.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:R9k9kget.png|The 9K and [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|9K1]] Gets.
Image:R9kmute.png|Original content, in my /r9k/?
Image:Robot sex.jpg|[[Rule 34]] on /r9k/.
File:Normieadvice.png|A wise man tells it like it is.
Image:Wojak.png|Typical robot.
Image:Fembot.png|Typical fembot.
File:R9k girl.jpg|another fembot
Image:Smugpepe.jpg|Normie-hating robot.
Image:Marvin1.jpg|/r9k/ before he was put on Prozac.
Image:R9k_100kget1.jpg|100,000 GET
Image:R9k_100kget2.jpg|I KNOW MY BOYFRIEND GOT THAT GET!
Image:R9k bot2.jpg|[[DA|A supposed /r9k/ mascot.]]
Image:R9k_2.jpg|r9k lays out an unwarranted mute
Image:R9k_3.gif|ALWAYS CHECK FOR QUOTES~!!
Image:R9k_4.jpg|Robot 9000 is ultrapopular with ladies.
Image:OH_NO!.jpg|Is originality really [[trying too hard|something to strive for]]?
Image:Azrael9k.jpg|The top hat and monocle distinguish not only /r9k/ users, but also their patron deities, from those of other boards.
Image:Nigger thread.jpg|[[Demotivator]] of a thread from early /r9k/.
Image:R9k how do you loosen an anus.jpg|Serious discussions.
Image:R9kthebest.JPG|/r9k/ is [[THE BEST]].
Image:R9k newfag thread.png|Yep, that about covers it.
Image:R9krekt.jpg|Yes, they do think of themselves this high.
Image:R9kdailythreadbreakdown.jpg
File:R9ksucks.PNG
File:Pepe hearthstone card.jpg|Rare Pepe [[Hearthstone|collectors card]]
File:R9klogo.PNG|400 hours in Photoshop
File:Neetlife.png
File:Theanustorn.png
File:R9k.png
File:R9k_9000000_GET.png
File:Vapid Specimen R9Gay.jpg|r9gay user irl
File:R9k_board.jpg
File:R9k_killing_post.png
File:R9k_killing_post_two.png
File:R9k_newb_thread.png
File:R9kelitists.jpg
File:R9kgurls.png

</gallery>}}

===The Cancer===
{{cg|/r9kjournal/|r9kcancer|center|<gallery>
Image:R9khookup.PNG|LET'S HOOK UP [[IRL]]
Image:Cancerkillingr9k1.PNG|OMG U GUYZ TAEK THIS SURVEY!!!1
Image:Cancerkillingr9k2.PNG|I MET DIS GURL AND I REALY LIEK HER HELP ME OUT GUIZE!!1
Image:Cancerkillingr9k3.PNG|IS LOEV WORTH IT???
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:R9k homemade sex doll.jpg
File:R9k my parents Discovered the Sex Draw.jpg
File:R9k bro rape.png
File:R9k Retard Stories.jpg
Image:Cancerkillingr9k4.PNG|WUT WAS UR FIRST KISS???
Image:Cancerkillingr9k5.PNG|HEAR ME [[BAWWW]]
Image:R9kbawww.PNG|BAWWWW MAH LIFE SUX
Image:R9kbawwwskewl.PNG|LET'S GO DOWN MEMORY LANE, GUIZE.
Image:R9kfemanon.PNG|I HAVE A [[Trap|VAGINA]] GIVE ME ATTENTION!
Image:R9kfriendzone.PNG|LET'S TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS SOME MORE, GUIZE.
Image:R9ksp.PNG|DRAW YOURSELF AS A ''SOUTH PARK'' CHARACTER, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT!
Image:R9kvirgin.PNG|I HAD [[Sodomy|SEX]], GUYS, LET'S TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS.
Image:R9kdrinkinggame.PNG|...
<!-- Image:R9k loves rule 34.PNG|typical user -->

</gallery>}}

==Videos==

{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|r9kvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>dWOvUxxo59o</youtube><center>'''NORMIES GET OUT'''</center>
|<youtube>Iq2yq4OT5iU</youtube><center>'''[[Unrealistic_expectations|How robots see themselves and r9k]]'''</center>
|<youtube>YEo33wjB5qc</youtube><center>'''Autism at its finest'''</center>
|<youtube>Ir71T_U-LMA</youtube><center>'''How to rehabilitate a robot'''</center>
|<youtube>51J31cpwOGo</youtube><center>'''/r9k/ rap feat. Smug Pepe & Wojak'''</center>
|<youtube>Q6hqOsURB8w</youtube><center>'''>tfw no gf'''</center>
|<youtube>SrvhTIlcbfE</youtube><center>'''>;_;'''</center>}}
|border=#498101|background=white}}
}}
<br>
<br>

==External Links==
*[http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/ /r9k/ LIVES ONCE MORE]
*[https://8ch.net/r9k/index.html /r9k/ with less normalfags and trap lovers]
*[http://hal.4chon.org/r9k/ /r9k/ on 4chon.org]
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/archive.php5?board=R9K All archived threads] on [[4chanarchive]].

===R9K Opines On ED===
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=385651&x=encyclopedia+dramatica The Gentlemen of /r9k/ "discuss" ED.]
*[http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/8/30/1395385/566217.html Thread planning a raid on ED.]

==See Also== 
*[[4chan]] and [[8chan]]
*[[Aspierations]]
*[[Beta Uprising]] - an insurgency conducted by beta autists like the one above.
*[[Chris Harper-Mercer]] - a r9gay frequenter who went postal IRL. 
*[[Incel]]
*[[Moot]]
*[[Reimu]] - [[NEET]] [[Incel]] who owns a dakimakura, representation of the average robot
*[[Shuaiby]] - /r9k/ user who found life after death [[Ronnie McNutt]] style
*[[Unrealistic expectations]]
*[[wizardchan]] - Close relatives to this board

{{chans|title=/r9k/}}
{{Dying_Alone}}

[[Category:2008]]
[[Category:Cliques]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]