View source for Denmark

Denmark is a [[boring]] ass country with nothing but [[Arab|Sand niggers]] and [[snow]]. The government picks up the snow from Greenland to get rid of the Sand niggers, but it doesn't help. Therefore they send some of them to Iceland. <s>Also, the Danes once were vikings, but the organization of banned [[NAMBLA]] members named [[EU]] decided that Denmark should be [[Fucktard|civilized]] like the rest of the [[Gay|wonderful]] countries in [[Europe]], so now they [[fail]] at raping other countries (as shown at one of the pictures to the right).</s> Haha, disregard that I suck cock. The Danes only settled down in other countries peacefully during the [[Norwegian|Viking]] Age, thus the [[Arab|Danes]] were only being annoying, like [[Jew|Jews]], this would eventually lead to the [[Final Solution|massacre of Danes, known as the St. Brice's Day massacre.]] The [[Norwegian|vikings]] went sailing in their boats to what they called "[[Britfag]] Land" to [[rape]] their [[Bitch|women]] and raid their homes for the <s>l00t</s> [[lulz]]. But one thing do the Danes have in common with the vikings... They all start drinking at the age of [[13]].
[[German|The Danish language consists of throwing up and making weird noises.]]

==History==
So, you are here to study the [[Shit no one cares about|interesting history of Denmark]]?. Well, the Danes have lost every land battle they have ever fought. Congratulations! You now have master's degree in Danish History.

It all began when Denmark was united in 965 AD by Harald [[Internet|Bluetooth]]. However their Independence was threaten by the Christian Emperor [[Adolf Hitler|Otto II]] of the [[Christian|Holy]] [[Roman Empire]]. In the year of [[God|our lord]], 973 AD, the Mighty Germans could not stand their [[Muslim|Pagan]] Danish neighbours any longer. [[Adolf Hitler|Otto II]] mobilized an army and launched a blitzkrieg on Denmark. Luckily for Harald, a [[sexy|handsome]] [[Norwegian]] named Haakon Sigurdsson, leader [[Skyrim|Jarl of Norway]], agreed to help the Danes fight off the Germans. It all went well until a peasant revolt broke out in Norway. This forced Haakon to quickly sail back to Norway. Haakons return to Norway gave the Germans free passage to rape Denmark under [[Fail|one day]]. [[Adolf Hitler|Otto II]] Then demanded that [[Internet|Bluetooth]] would cede his sorry ass to the German realm and also be baptized to the superior religion of [[Christianity]]. 

After the defeat, Harald [[Internet|Bluetooth]] would be known as Harald [[loser|the Loser]]. After this [[shit|nothing interesting]] happens in Denmark until 980 AD, when [[Serbia|Slavic]] raiders invaded Denmark. This would be the key to Danish independence. Sweyn [[Wise Beard Man|Folkbeard]] would use this chaos to his advantage. He agreed to let the Slavs fuck every Danish female, adults and children alike, in exchange that they would help him carve out his own new kingdom, called Denmark 2.0. The Mighty Germans took notice off this. Though because Denmark was already [[Christian|Christian]] they decided to go easy on Sweyn and his people. The [[Christian|Holy]] [[Roman Empire|Roman Emperor]] just demanded x amount of [[Booty]] each year.

About the same time Sweyn was crowned King of Denmark 2.0 a more superior slave, named Olaf Tryggvason, took the throne of Norway. Tryggvason had launched a raid on England and would be the first [[Norwegian|Viking]] to ever sack London, and get past London Bridge, a few years earlier. This made Sweyn [[Wise Beard Man|Folkbeard]] fear Olaf, especially since Olaf said this; "Hurr The Danes and the Swedish tribes are all pussy cunts! Thus I should be the rightful ruler of all Scandinavia." -Tryggvason's envoy, Saga of the [[viking|Norse]] Kings. Folkbeard would waste most of his term in office to plan the death of Tryggvason, but Sweyn knew he could not do this alone with his huge army of [[Pussies|Danes]]. Good for him, a sexy [[Swede]] known as Olaf the [[Arab|Swede]] agreed to help the Danish king. So did the [[Norwegian]] Jarl named Eirik Hákonarson.

Rumors had it that Olaf Tryggvason was sailing home from a [[Rape|raiding]] campaign in the [[Lithuania|Baltic]]. Sweyn quickly sent word to Eirik and Olaf to [[Trap|surprise]] Truggvason at Oresund. When Olaf Truggvason finally came to Oresund he was humbled to see that the joint Swedish, Danish and Norwegian forces of 70+ ships that were waiting for him. Even though Tryggvason only had 11 ships he was not a huge pussy like the Danes and Swedes, so he decided to attack. This would be the Battle known as "the Battle of Svold" 

   
King Olaf stood on the Serpent's quarterdeck, [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|high over the
others]]. He had a gilt shield, and a helmet inlaid with [[gold]];
over his armour he had a short [[Communist|red]] coat, and was easy to be
distinguished from other men. When King Olaf saw that the
scattered forces of the enemy gathered themselves together under
the banners of their ships, he asked, "Who is the chief of the
force right opposite to us?"

He was answered, that it was King Sweyn with the [[Pussy|Danish]] army.

The king replies, "We are not afraid of these soft Danes, for
there is no bravery in them; but who are the troops on the right
of the Danes?"

He was answered, that it was King Olaf with the [[Arab|Swedish]] forces.

"Better it were," says King Olaf, "for these [[Arab|Swedes]] to be sitting
at home killing their sacrifices, than to be venturing under our
weapons from the Long [[Penis|Serpent]]. But who owns the large ships on
the larboard side of the Danes?"

"That is Earl Eirik Hakonson," say they.

The king replies, "[[Elitist|He, methinks, has good reason for meeting us;
and we may expect the sharpest conflict with these men, for they
are real Norsemen like ourselves]]." -Sagas of the [[Viking|Norse]] Kings

===TL;DR===

Despite their lush and extravagant history, the only thing Denmark is actually known for is this newsroom backdrop they stole from Assassin's Creed.
<center>
{{frame|[[File:Danish News Backdrop Fail.jpg|600px]]|background=black|border=black}}<br />
{{frame|<youtube>-QGX39uhB6A</youtube>|background=black|border=black}}
</center>

==Current History==
Denmark, 
[[Lego|Legoland]] (also known as Denmark) is a small [[communist]] country in [[Scandinavia]]. It is ruled by an old whore named Queen Margrethe II who's gonna die in a few years from alcoholic diseases. Denmark is known for making [[Shit nobody cares about|Lego, the letters ]][[Æ]][[Shit nobody cares about|ØÅ]] and the [[Muhammad Cartoons]]. They spend 26% of their lifes on drinking, 57% of their lifes sleeping after they drink and 17% of their life on [[life]].

Basic education in Denmark is still l00ting school, a holdover from Viking times. To pass ninth grade, you must l00t 3 things from your burning teacher, while raping his women, cursing his art and being [[Over 9000|over 9000%]] drunk at the same time. This makes Danish culture rather similar to that of the [[negro]].

==Politics==
Denmark's politics is based on 3 paragraphs, as no Dane is capable of being in charge of the country (apart from the alcoholic and narcotic Queen Margrethe II and Lars Løkke Rasmussen who doesn't do shit anyway).

§1 - l00t

§1.1 - 1 kg of l00t or less counts for 50 xp.

§1.2 - 1-5 kg of l00t counts for 100 xp.

§1.3 - 5-10 kg of l00t counts for 250 xp and the amount of kg in spareribs.

§1.4 - 10 kg of l00t counts for 500 xp and the amount of kg in spareribs.


§2 - Rape

§2.1 - Rape a [[Bitch|woman]] and finish under 5 minutes counts for 50 xp.

§2.2 - Rape a [[Bitch|woman]] and finish in 5-10 minutes counts for 100 xp.

§2.3 - Rape a [[Bitch|woman]] and finish in 10-30 minutes counts for 200 xp and the amount of minutes will count as  - (minus) in Øre (the Danish cent) in your taxes (example: 30 minutes will - (minus) 30 Øre or 4 cent everytime you pay taxes.

§2.4 - Rape a [[Bitch|woman]] and finish in 60 minutes or more for 400 xp and the amount of minutes will count as  - (minus) in Øre (the Danish cent) in your taxes (example: 60 minutes will - (minus) 60 Øre (1 krone) or 8 cent everytime you pay taxes.


§3 - [[Wimmins]]

§3.1 - If your bitch says [[no]] to your request, you either hit it, cap it's head off or [[KILL IT WITH FIRE]].

§3.2 - [[Wimmins]] imported from Amsterdam, Germany and Sweden can be rented from 09:00-03:00 (9 am to 3 am) from the Copenhagen City Hall for 250 kr. ($43). Delivery costs 50 kr. ($9) extra.

==Economy==
[[Image:hoeng-shit.jpg|thumb|right|Stupid shit cheeses]].

[[Image:Danmarkdwarfed.jpg|thumb|Mr President compares cock size with Dane Viceroy Fog Rasmussen]] 
Denmark's main export is Legos; second to that are dairy products, followed closely by cartoons of Muhammad. The Danes were great [[Rapists|looters]] [[Last_Thursday|back in the day]], and there are a small remaining group of [[Vikings]] who have avoided contact with the modern world and have been known to raid merchant ships bound for Narvik, Norway.

The only things that Danes import are [[Swedes]], who come, drink all the booze in the country, and piss everywhere. This, of course, angers the used-to-be-vikings, but because they are now [[fags|Socialist hippies]], they don't do anything about it.

==Inventions==
Denmark's inventions are numerous and epic from Danish bacon and Danish pastry, to the [[pedo]] storyteller Hans Christian Anderson to Tycho Brahe's psychic midget Jebb and alcoholic pet [[furry|moose]], (who fell down the stairs whilst drunk and died), thus prophesying Fahrenheit 9/11.

==Language==
Every girl in Denmark likes charming dirty sentences, and here are one of the best.

Your beautiful eyes make me think about my hairy balls - Dine smukke øjne får mig til at tænke på mine behårede boller.

<center>'''The danish are also said to have uncanny skills in the language of Ænglisj:'''</center>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>anx9giJf3MI</youtube>|background=black|border=black}}</center>

==Equal Opportunity==
[[Image:Katja.gif|thumb|Denmark's biggest star.]] 
Denmark is world famous for their woman friendly labor market. If a woman wants a job in Denmark, she just has to have an education from the porn industry and blonde hair. Actually only 56% of the women in Denmark are employed in the porn industry the rest are in prison, but about 1% are hardcore lesbos.

==Food Culture in Denmark==
The average Dane eats whatever he/she can get with alcohol in/on it. This means, for example, that no normal Dane would have any problems drinking only beer for breakfast, anything else alcoholic goes just as well. And then just keep drinking beer the rest of the day until he/she passes out. The rich Danes, however, ''may'' exchange the alcohol with actual food. And then down some bottles o' wine for dessert.

==Gay Culture in Denmark==
[[Image:Blonde16oldgirl.jpeg|thumb|A typical 15 year old danish boy. A perfect candidate for man-boy [[rape]].]]
The gay culture in Denmark has expanded to a degree for which there are no words nor sentences to describe.  Too many young Danish boys seek to become gayer than the rest, resulting in [[gay]] bars having to invent membership systems to prevent their bars being overrun by what seems like a lot of [[homosexuals]], but most likely includes a significant number of what are in fact, very, very confused heterosexuals.  And now with the release of the award winning Danish film [[BRODERSKAB]], even the Nationalist Right, aka Neo-Nazis, are going gay.  That's right, two of the most unlikely bed fellows are now fucking like rabbits in Denmark.  It doesn't get any better than this.

==Racist culture in Denmark==

Now apart from the above mentioned Gay-Neo-Nazism that is apparently flourishing in Denmark, there is also quite a bit of good old fashioned racism.  Here is some sensitive and insightful Danish commentary on our colored cousins:
<pre>
[00:19] ShadowCrush: srs DK is full of them
[00:20] ShadowCrush: they're "fleein'" from they battle they say
[00:20] ShadowCrush: thourgh, I know it's a tactic
[00:20] eins: ic
[00:20] eins: lol
[00:20] ShadowCrush: to DESTROY THE HUMANKIND!!!
[00:20] eins: OMFG
[00:20] ShadowCrush: they arn't humans
[00:20] eins: they are sand monkeys
[00:20] ShadowCrush: they're more like... monkeys
[00:20] ShadowCrush: yeah
[00:20] ShadowCrush: sand monkeys
[00:21] eins: lol
[00:21] eins: towel heads
[00:21] ShadowCrush: wam. sand monkeys?
[00:21] eins: lol
[00:21] ShadowCrush: nm
[00:21] ShadowCrush: they gotta be stopped
[00:21] ShadowCrush: send in China
[00:22] ShadowCrush: they gotta have the biggest army in world
[00:22] ShadowCrush: just why don't those sand monkeys have a brain?
[00:22] eins: i think they do
[00:22] eins: but its smaller
[00:23] ShadowCrush: what? they have a brain?
[00:23] ShadowCrush: where?
[00:23] ShadowCrush: since when?
[00:23] ShadowCrush: how?
[00:23] eins: its just small
[00:23] eins: liek an ant's
[00:23] ShadowCrush: probably smaller
[00:24] ShadowCrush: black shit of the south. well, here they are, no offence
[00:25] eins: to bad the duke of edinburgh is no loger a danish prince
</pre>

==Fun Things to do in Denmark==

A quick ferry ride to the Faroe Islands will provide all kinds of wholesome family fun.

<center>
<gallery perrow=5>
File:Faroe Islands Whaling 01.jpg
File:Faroe Islands Whaling 02.jpg
File:Faroe Islands Whaling 03.jpg
File:Faroe Islands Whaling 04.png
File:Faroe Islands Whaling 05.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Danish sites==
* [http://www.arto.com/ ARTO] - The Danish MySpace for [[Lolicon|loli's]]. 

* [http://www.dr.dk/ DR.DK] - Actually a pretty nice television station. Why? Because of [http://www.dr.dk/pirattv/klip/aktion-cykeltyve/ this.]

*[http://www.dnsb.info/ dnsb.info] - Above mentioned danish Nazi Party


==See Also==

* [[Danish]] - Their [[Norwegian|incredibly]] [[Swedish|gay]] [[language]]
* [[Europe]]
* [[Iceland]]
* [[Norway]]
* [[Rita]] - A forced meme on 4chan that supposedly came from [[shit nobody cares about|some Danish cartoon]].
* [[Sweden]]

{{commonwealth}}

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[[Category: Locations]]