View source for User:DekoMan91

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{{hipcrime}}
{{right|{{userbox
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| id       = [[Image:ED_USflag.png|60px]] 
| id-c     = #912727
| info     = This user is an [[Editor]].
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{{right|{{userbox
| border-c = #000000
| id       = [[Image:Tooldickwrench.jpg|27px]] 
| id-c     = #000000
| info     = This user fixes the fuck ups [[you]] shat out.
| info-c   = #93A8C1
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{{right|{{userbox
| border-c = #000000
| id       = [[Image:1271283962909.gif|60px]] 
| id-c     = #000000
| info     = This user travels a lot on [[ED]].
| info-c   = #808080
}}}}
{{right|{{patrol}}}}
{{right|{{userbox
| border-c = #49463C
| id       = [[Image:Preview.png|60px]] 
| id-c     = #8E8672
| info     = The [[Preview is for Pussies|preview]] button is this user's best friend.
| info-c   = #CCB170
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=DekoMan's [[TL;DR|long, long tale]] of drama; My history of joining the internet, becoming an attention whore up to the point where I don't give a shit anymore=
==2001-2006: The Dark Ages==
===2001===
[[Germany|DekoMan]] and his family discover the wonder known as the [[Interwebs]]. It is a really dark time for these sacred people, as they need [[AOL]] to use it, which requires its shitty webbrowser to be open the whole time for a connection otherwise they are completely offline.<br>

===2001-2003===
Nothing except for him playing [[Counter-Strike|Counter-Strike 1.0]] with shitty POD bots the whole time because his interwebs sucks too much to play online.<br>

===2004===
[[Image:GmanGif.gif|thumb|Half-Life's reaction to DekoMan.]]
DekoMan gets [[Half-Life 2]]. He is eagerly waiting to play it, only to discover the game needs a DVD drive for it to install which he doesn't have because he is a cheap fuck. After months of waiting he gets a DVD drive. Hoping to finally play the shit he then discovers it also needs a constant internet connetion for him to be able to play it which isn't the case with AOL's shitty service. [[BAWWW|He is pissed]].<br>

===Spring 2005===
He can finally play the shit. In fall of 2005 AOL gets its shit together and it becomes more acceptable so he gets himself some [[Counter-Strike|Counter-Strike: Source]] to be able to play some online shit.<br>

===Spring 2006===
[[What|DekoMan gets an offer to join a CS:S clan after playing really well on a deathmatch server]]. Not realizing that anyone can be good on mentioned server he still accepts the offer, thus slowly starting his [[Attention whore|whoring for attention]] for years to come. In the summer of 2006 he is sick of [[Lie|the clan full of pussies]] and decides to leave, but not before causing some seroius [[drama]] about [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|him being the best]].<br>
During this year he discovers [[torrent]]s.

==2007-2009: Drama unfolds==
===2007-2008===
In 2007 DekoMan [[Fail|gets his Steam account banned]] by cheating on ''Counter-Strike: Source''.<br>
He then starts drawing shitty images on paper over the course of 10 months, mostly consiting of a [[WTF|muscular Super Mario and Luigi killing characters of the TV show ''Camp Lazlo'' with a chainsaw and stuff]]. This event leads him to the next big step in his history.<br>

===April 2008===
[[Image:DM-Pic19.jpg|thumb|[[Typical]] comments made at the time.]]
DekoMan joins [[deviantART]] (HOLY SHIT you know [[Drama|where this is going]] now). After having seen a random episode of [[Bullshit|''Ben10'']] on the 19th April on TV he decides to make images about the character [[Gay|Ditto]], who sucked balls but still. On the same month he gets [[Portal]] on a class trip to [[Berlin]], which he [[fap]]ped on for several months. In June of the same year he creates an account on [[YouTube]], mostly uploading videos containing copyrighted material, including the episode of ''Ben10'' he has seen a few months ago which gets removed only 10 hours later. He doesn't really do much there until a year later.<br>

{{collapsegallery|'''Gallery of Bull'''|dmgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:DM-Pic1.jpg|
Image:DM-Pic2.jpg|
Image:DM-Pic3.jpg|
Image:DM-Pic4.jpg|
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:DM-Pic5.jpg|
Image:DM-Pic6.jpg|Not... 
Image:DM-Pic10.jpg|...stolen...
Image:DM-Pic11.jpg|...at...
Image:DM-Pic12.jpg|...[[Lie|all]].
</gallery>}}

===June 2008===
[[Image:DM-Pic8.jpg|thumb|While advertising shit like this gets him some [[Lie|positive feedback]] like ''"Nice"'' people are secretly laughing their asses off.]]
Now in the possession of the Source game ''Portal'' and with it a new Steam account, DekoMan finds the ''Empires Mod'', which he plays for a while before he decides to [[drama|register on the mod's forum]]. Here even more drama unfolds as he not only makes comments in the style of a [[12 year old]] and advertises his shitty deviantART pictures in self-created threads, he also applies for the membership of an Empires clan. After noticing that nobody wants his fat ass in their clan he [[WTF|founds an own clan]] in September because he thinks having a clan tag in an username is [[No|cool]] and [[NO|makes you better than everyone else]]. [[OMG|The  clan gets deleted two weeks later]].
{{quote|DekoMan{{colortext|Red|*}}, shut the **** up, they obviously dont want you.|Mr.Bungles <small>({{colortext|Red|*}} Username changed for consistency)</small>}}

===January 2009===
DekoMan starts a second attempt at creating a clan for Empires Mod. When noticing that [[nobody gives a shit]] about him anymore he hides his miserable fail under the cover of an [[April Fools|''"HAPPY NEW YEARS"'']] joke, leaving everyone just rolling their eyes. Just two days later he is advertising a Steam group he created [[FAIL|which fails within a week]]. He is now officially a faggot on the forums.

<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|dmdaquts2|background-color: white; width: 700px; height: 100px;|font-weight: bold;
|I thought you already made a clan, then had it die.
Wait, was it some other person?|Cyber-Kun

|Your forum makes my eyes bleed.|Cyber-Kun

|ow ow ow!

but yes he's right, your clan will live 3 months longer with forums....even if you're the only member.|bitchslap

|Actually, its straight up pathetic and stupid...|KILLX

|[[Truth|Or, you actually intended to try and start a clan *again*, but upon seeing the responses here, decided to go back on yourself and pretend it was a joke all along in a pitiful attempt to retain face in the Empires community.]]|Omneh 

|I am going to kill DekoMan{{colortext|Red|*}}, like a genetleman would do it...|Satanchild666 <small>({{colortext|Red|*}} Username changed for consistency)</small>
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

===February  2009===
DekoMan's first major mental break down happens on deviantART after he notices he doesn't get enough attention with his [[Crap|'art']]. He thus [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|deletes every image in his gallery, removing every 'friend' and watcher]] and [[Butthurt|writing a journal that dA sucks]]. During this period, he seeks attention by increasing his pageviews by [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|favoring every image he sees on the front page and by running a proxy software that faked 50-60 views everytime he uses it, thus giving him 2.000 additional pageviews in just two days]]. [[LOL|After 2 months though he is back]] being [[Shit|serious]] again.<br>

<center>'''Comments made on his dA profile during the two great days of attention whoring:'''</center>
<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|dmdaquts1|background-color: white; width: 400px; height: 100px;|font-weight: bold;
|thanks for the +fav|Complete-Loser

|thanks for the fav|RCarte

|thanks for the add!|Brit1989

|Thanks for the fav! ^^|sodenoshirayuki

|THX 4 The FAV|shiko6
|Thanks for the fav. :)|mrsusan
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

===Summer 2009===
DekoMan gets [[Valve|''The Orange Box'']] ([[Team Fortress 2|you see where this is going]]). After playing through Half-Life 2 again and its Episodes he discovers [[Team Fortress 2]], opening a new can of delicious drama for him. After playing for several months he discovers people can be [[E-peen|famous]] on YouTube by creating shitty [[Garry's Mod|GMod]] videos only [[Truth|consisting of the game characters being dumb and making faces in the shape of a vagina]]. Being too cheap to buy the mod himself he just gets it from a [[torrent]] site as well as a [[Shit|half-decent]] video editing software along the way to not be stuck with [[Windows Movie Maker]].<br>

===Winter 2009===
After several videos he unintentionally creates a new [[Forced meme|fad character]], which happens to be popular among all the mentally issued 9 year olds who are watching his videos. What is he all about? Just the [[nigger]] character of Team Fortress 2 [[What|saying 'See?' while pointing out very obvious shit and then blows up people]]. Of couse an own fan group on [[Steam]] to [[Faggot|raise his ego is in the works at this point]].

<center>{{Frame|{{fv|dm91vids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>HlkcvjNTjnI</youtube><center>'''The video that started it all.'''</center>
|<youtube>8HjK3wWhVnc</youtube><center>'''The great combining of the forced memes.'''</center>
|<youtube>Q0R3lH1_PpE</youtube><center>'''Even more forcing.'''</center>
|<youtube>FHer4ypZurs</youtube>
|<youtube>rLbsnAJP9HE</youtube>
|<youtube>XanIs70wnSY</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

==2010-2011: The diminution of whoring==
[[Image:DM-Pic7.jpg|thumb|right|DekoMan's reaction.]]
[[Image:Rainbowheart.gif|thumb|left|[[Vox Dramatica prize|I'm awesome.]]]]
[[Image:Rainbowheart.gif|thumb|left|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/index.php?title=Vox_Dramatica_prize&oldid=339678 2x VD recipient]]]
===Spring 2010===
His subscriber count on his channel reaches 1,000, [[Self-important|making him very happy spawning a shit ton of videos celebrating the event as well as a news article on his fan group]], which now has [[At least 100|over 100 members]]. A few months after the revival one of his so-called internet-'friends' mentions that his forced fad character (which now appeared in every video he makes to not piss off the [[fanboi]]s) appears on the Team Fortress 2 article on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], thus getting him in contact with the site for the first time in his life.<br>

===Summer 2010===
After his mental breakdown on deviantART in 2009 he decides it is time for [[Web 2.0|round two]] after realizing Team Fortress 2 [[Truth|is just a big pile of shit]] and so he [[Deleting Your YouTube Videos|deletes all videos related to the game]] and all of his subscibers, now having well [[Over 9000|over 1,900]]. This isn't for long however, as only [[Fuck off|two months later he starts making TF2 GMod videos again]], after realizing that [[Fail|Sub4Sub]] wouldn't get him the attention he needed. He spammed at least 30 videos in one month, thus winning back 1,000 subscibers in that time.<br>
[[ಠ_ಠ|This revival is short lived however]], as in October of 2010 he stops making videos AGAIN, thus leading to the deletion of the whole account on the 9th January 2011 after wasting a whole weekend watching a special [[Avatar: The Last Airbender]] marathon on TV to make sure he isn't going to make another revival. He deletes his deviantART profile two months later.<br>

===Summer 2011===
When he decides to check out the site that mentioned his forced character in May 2011, he gets redirected to [[OhInternet]], which leaves him pissed because even though he visited the site just once he knew after reading the whole article about Team Fortress 2 that the site was telling the [[truth]] [[Yes|about everything it had an article about]]. He finds ED.ch, which at the time was very unfinished and broken, but it still contained the original TF2 article he [[Gay|loved]] so much back in the day, so he digs in the deepest corners of the internet to find a backup archive of the site containing most of the many missing images and articles. His dedication to bring the site back to its former glory starts on the 1st June 2011 when he creates an account on the site.<br>
Just when he is starting to realize that [[Truth|attention whoring is not good]], he [[Fag|forgets about all that]] in the summer of 2011 when he starts to make a [[mod]] for [[Fallout|Fallout: New Vegas]], his new fapping material, thus leading to more drama. Working several months on the mod which aimed to improve the fucked up landscape of the game, he slowly becomes tired of running through the game world like an asshole looking for problems instead of just playing the freaking game. He then gives the mod to [[Brony|AWZ]], a brony/[[attention whore]] who just added DekoMan to his [[Steam]] friends some weeks earlier to stalk him even though DekoMan is currently in the phase of his life where [[Yes|internet-friends are obsolete]].<br>

===Winter 2011===
After realizing that the person he gave his [[Shit|mod]] to is a brony, he goes to the site-[[admin]]s proclaiming he wants his mod back. After being successful, the brony [[Butthurt|raged on the website's chatroom]] thus gaining a massive [[banhammer]] from the admins. So what did he do after he got his mod back? He works on it for a week and after realizing people found out his [[Old|'new']] versions of the mod are inferior ones of the brony versions he deletes the mod completely. He later [[An hero|bans himself]] by giving a clueless fellow user the tip to pirate [[The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim]] to not support [[jews]]. [[Fag|Apparantly he hasn't learned anything from the past]].
{{quote|That horrible Dekoman91 person got banned.
Any chance that this mod gets another update?|iyumichan}}

==2012-2013: Not giving a damn and boring==
===Spring 2012===
DekoMan thinks he has re-uploaded all images he could over the 8-9 months he was on [[ED]], thus leading to [[Done with ED|him leaving the site]]. The experience he gained from the site however molded him so much that, after seeing and reading so many articles of people who shared the same fate as him, he [[Maybe|swore to never attention whore again]].<br>

===2012-2013===
DekoMan gets into a job-creation measure for over a year which just consited of him driving 50km every day to sit on his ass and smoke with other people sitting on their asses and [[smoking]]. [[Never|Sometimes]] they have to do some [[Weed|'gardening']] stuff but that's it. After the year, he still hasn't got a job making him [[Truth|a really useless piece of shit]].<br>
In May 2013 he gets invited to the beta-testing team of a [[UT2004|mod]] after he [[God|showed the experience he gained from editing ED on their wiki]] and reporting hundred of bugs on their forums. This is short lived however as just a few months later the mod development is discontinued after [[LOL|one of the team members went batshit insane]]. [[O RLY?|To everyone's surprise it wasn't DekoMan this time]].<br>

===June 2013===
DekoMan starts a [[Social experiment|self-experiment]] on deviantART to prove the site's complete obsolete''ness''. Disguised under the [[No|cleverly contrived]] username ''TheUltra[[Attention whore|AW]]'' he creates two true masterpieces of art depicting [[Super Mario|Super Mario and his brother Luigi]]. Shortly after the image upload he starts to add every image he sees on the frontpage to his favorites, [[What|leading to 15 watchers, 21 friends and 700 pageviews in the course of one week]].
<center>{{Bigpic|DM-Pic9.jpg|1400|300|}}</center>
{{quote|hahaha I love your Mario|[[Retard|minecraft78]]}}

===September-November 2013===
[[File:CaillousEditsGetReverted.GIF|thumb]]
Now just [[Lazy|sitting on his ass]] at home [[shit]]ting on the toilet every day, eating, sleeping and having nothing better to do except for shitting, he upgrades his computer to do more stuff than just playing [[solitaire]] 14 hours a day.<br>
He plays [[Far Cry]] 3, which he thinks sucks if it wasn't for a mod that made the game more hardcore, F1 2012 after reading [[Lie|it is a good racing game]] but totally sucked after the first 10 races even with a [[PS3|controller]] ([[Pirate|good thing it was pirated]]), [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine]], a game so boring he doesn't even finish the first mission ([[Lazy Town|again, pirated]]), and finally games on a [[Nintendo|NintendoDS and GameCube]] emulator which ran like shit before the upgrade.<br>
The last week of October he spends a week playing [[The Legend of Zelda|The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess]]. After playing it, he finds out the game sucks balls because it was so easy he didn't die once ([[Fail|one time but he fell off a cliff]]) and the final boss the game built up to was not bad-ass but batshit insane and has smoked to much weed. The good thing though? He can confirm the following statement on [[The Legend of Zelda|ED's Zelda article]] is true.
{{quote|[[Sick fuck|Midna: [...] Turns into a blue-skinned, marginally hotter Zelda (despite having a really fucked up hood and haircut) at the very last 30 seconds of the game, allowing for some decent fapping material, [...]]]|ED}}<br>
So what else is there for him to do besides [[No life|playing shitty games, shitting and fapping]]? While looking on his external drive he finds the archive he helped restoring ED with and in November 2013 he starts working on the site again.

===December 2013===
<center>[[Image:DM-Pic13.jpg]]</center><br>
[[Image:DM-Pic14-3.jpg|thumb|Damage report after [[11]] hours.]]
He tries a second dA experiment. This time going [[Obvious|undercover]] as ''MedinezZ'' he goes to the extreme to find possible nominees for a Sick Fuckery award. For this, he creates three masterpieces of art, one of a [[monkey]] with a pile of [[shit]] and two others with... just look at the gallery below. The [[Stupid|masterplan]] this time was to [[Unrealistic Expectations|live for one month in the internet dungeon of faggotry]], mimicking [[Retard|the every day, typical behaviour of your typical tartlet]] perfectly.<br>
The plan [[fail]]ed however, as only after 11 hours after the account creation it gets suspended for [[policy]] violation, as his masterpieces were reported for ''Sexualized Minor'' and ''Explicit Pornography''.<br>
In the end [[What|he earned 240 pageviews, 7 watchers and 7 llamas in those few hours]].

<center><gallery>
Image:DM-Pic16.jpg|They just couldn't handle the awesome.
Image:DM-Pic17.jpg|''"I shortly had the mature filter off when I stumbled across this... It was a mistake."''
Image:DM-Pic18.jpg|[http://thebigchillqueen.deviantart.com/art/Omniverse-Ditto-418335789#comments ''"PLEASE never post stuff like that on my art or profile...I don't like it."'']
</gallery></center><br>

<center>{{Bigpic|DM-Pic15-2.jpg|1400|300|}}</center>

==2014==
He got a job, arghurblrghhurrblagurhurzurr .

<center>[[Image:DM-Pic20.jpg]]</center>

=[[TL;DR]]=
[[File:DekoMan91 EDProfilePic02.jpg|left|200px]]
[[File:Fattymess.jpg|thumb|DekoMan while being overly active on ED.]]
[[Truth|DekoMan91 is a fag]].