View source for User:BigMeatHuggins22/Dragoneer

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{{needsnomore|art of Dragoneer}}
[[File:DragoneersBrain.jpg|thumb|center|Let this set the precedent for the entire article.]]
[[Image:Sean_Piche.jpg|thumb|320px|NEW JERSEY (AP) — Engineers with Halliburton Corp. (NYSE: EVIL) have announced the formation of an exploratory well on the forehead of Sean Piche. One engineer was quoted as saying that a conservative estimate of the well's potential could be up to 100 million barrels of light fat-fuck crude. If this turns out to be the case, it could power the Internet for a couple of hours.]]
[[File:Seanpichedilbert.png|thumb|Sean Piche is one of the main characters in [[Dilbert]].]]
'''Dragoneer''' (a.k.a. '''The Dragoneer''', '''[[Fag]]oneer''', '''Preyfar''', '''Inkjammer''',  '''[[powerword|Sean Piche]]''', or lately '''Princess Piche'''), born March 25, 1983, is a balding, morbidly obese 37 year old [[manchild]] [[lolcow]] who is the current owner and director of [[Furaffinity|FurAffinity.net]]. Dragoneer, as the CEO of furry, is stupid in ways that make typical bouts of furry drama look tame by comparison. He fucks up in ways that are inconceivable to anyone outside of the furry community, and end up being completely disastrous for anyone caught in them. Furthermore, his overarching laziness and sloth, inability to learn from his mistakes or even be honest has caused his online presence to be trailed by a conga line of goofs, gaffes, and controversies that will follow and haunt him (and anyone who associates with him) until the end of time. 

Dragoneer’s fursona is based on a [[fanfiction|unique breed]] of [[Digimon]] called a Murasadramon, which is essentially some mutant hybrid of Guilmon and Exveemon combined into one abortion of an [[original character]]. Wikifur sources mention that a Murasadramon uses plasma and electrical-based attacks, but an [[EDiot]] research team was able to conclude the following [[fact|facts]] about this rare variety after many decades of [[autism|intense study]]. This species of Digimon can distract [[you|casual observers]] from it’s lack of a [[fat|proper diet]] and aversion to basic hygiene. It prefers the damp and dark microcosms of their parents basements where they dwell in solitude for several years, subsisting on a diet of Cheetos, Hot Pockets and Gatorade. They continue to live like this until they reach the late middle age state and move out to a single bedroom studio apartment. They often [[Anthrocon|migrate]] in large flocks to stand around in ceremonial displays of dominance where their collective body odour could suffocate an entire hotel lobby. A lot of the adult life of a Murasadramon involved being a massive fucking [[whore]], [[dicks everywhere]] doesn't  even come close to describing how much porn there is of these creatures, there's almost as much porn of this one species of digimon as there is of [[Renamon]]... well alright not '''that''' much.

You want more information? [[RTFM|Read a fucking book]], just so you don't turn into this greasy, pious [[faggot|megafaggot]].

He is also a closet [[Babyfur]], and at one point his character and the character of his then-boyfriend appeared on the back cover of [[Softpaw Magazine]] as [[Pedobear|children in tight underwear]] and also in a unfinished comic (available in the gallery below). Of course, this minor fact is a constant source of hilarity for [[lulz]] connoisseurs and is a shameful past that Sean tries to hide at all costs. We still know he's beating it to cub, he's just so much of a phenomenal coward about it that he won't allow anyone on his platform to beat off on it too.

He currently resides in [[yuppies|Northern Virginia]] in the Washington, D.C. area with other [[furries]].

==Personal Life==
[[File:Dragoneerfat.jpg|thumb|left|If chairs could talk, this one would be begging for the sweet release of death just to escape being so close to this fat fuck's sweaty asshole.]]
[[File:Preyfar_ac99.jpg|thumb|right|He wasn't always so fat and bald ([[Anthrocon]] 1999)]]
Dragoneer is one of [[whore|those people]] that always somehow manages to have the latest fancy gadget to hit the market. He owns a [http://twitpic.com/2d4d06 Alienware desktop computer, a HDTV, a fursuit], [http://twitpic.com/cs6ef at least one] [http://twitpic.com/2gcekq custom built computer], a [http://twitpic.com/2fwrox Droid cell phone], iPhones that he can make into sandwiches and probably much, much more. Don't forget he's [[always]] commissioning some [[Offended|great new pieces of art]] of his [[original character]]!

He's also an [[alcoholic]] and likes to [[File:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|talk about his experience with other furries about being drunk]], which happens often because he is [[Dying alone|alone]]. He was warned several times at [[Anthrocon]] 2010 for inviting a couple of [[jailbait|17/18 year old furries]] ([http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xanthosking xanthosking] and [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/zharr18 zharr18]) to have a drink [[rape|in his hotel room]], which is illegal. But, they were [[canada|Canadians]], where the legal drinking age is 18. So it's [[awwright]]!

Dragoneer is also a supporter of ''Making The Fandom Look Good™''. He was quick to proclaim a FA user named Dogbomb [[An hero|a hero]] after [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4296204 sat in fursuit with a kid] suffering from Cerebral Palsy, saying how it improved the fandom's image while he was simultaneously drawing and commissioning furry porn. Yes Dogbomb, you're literally god's gift to the earth for sitting with a cripple, you win a years supply of [[viagra]] and a [[golden shower]] so sayeth Princess Piche. Clearly Sean doesn't think running the largest furry porn [[cumdumpster|repository]] on the internet is contributing to the [[Yiff|problem]].

[[File:Dragoneer noanonallowed.png|thumb|Coming to all good ED articles near you]]
His most notable method of gaining popularity is also known as "playing the [[cool guy]]" (read: INSATIABLE [[memefag|MEMEFAG]]), which consists of posting a link to the most popular [[YouTube]] video of the moment, filling his posts and tweets with [[memes]] (while not knowing what they mean), countless attempts at [[chanspeak]] and countless references to [[TF2]], [[Portal]], and [[b/|/b/]]. This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account Fender to make updates, which usually consist of pure [[Anti-lulz]] (take this for example). This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account  [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/fender/ Fender] to make updates, which usually consist of pure Anti-lulz (take this for example). Dragoneer will constantly claim to be open-minded about Internet culture, but if you tell him you're an [[anon]], a [[goon]], and/or post on [[ED]] (or merely have references to those on your profile), you'll almost certainly receive his banhammer since anonymous is always conspiring against him or some shit. Because being cool is a privilege only Dragoneer and his crew have. This can all be accurately described as FA being an echochamber of fat smelly retards sitting around all day sniffing their farts totally convinced they are [[hubris|the wittiest, smartest, most intelligent furries the world has ever seen.]]

===Career===
[[Image:Sean Piche Resume From LinkedIn.png|thumb|Sean Piche's resume from LinkedIn. All the periods of unemployment show how successful he '''really''' is at his career.]]
[[Image:Sean Piche at Camp Chaos.jpg|thumb|Group photo taken at Camp Chaos in Reading, PA in early 2004. Sean Piche only survived there for 4 months before being kicked to the curb.]]

Dragoneer has had quite an [[boring|exciting]] career as far as furfag losers go. He's [[failed|worked]] as an animator for VH1/Viacom and even worked in the [[Terrorist|middle east]]. This is proof that America spends so much money on its military that even someone like Dragoneer can get a piece of the action.

====As an animator====
Sean once worked for a couple of weeks in an animation department, where he composed the background of a few scenes for "ILL-ustrated", and did the text formatting for the credits page. His job was to be involved with a little cartoon on VH1, circa 2003. Sean didn't stay because he wanted to take the place of the character designer and become an animator, even though he had no artistic background or knowledge to perform this kind of task. His contract with VH1 was terminated prematurely, and it remains the best work he has ever had to this day.

====Army career====
Apparently, someone at the DoD decided it was a good move to give Sekrit clearance to him so he could develop computer systems in [[Kyrgyzstan]]. He may tell you he was sent to Manas Air Base to handle top secret data, but all he really was was a glorified [[Script_Kiddie|MSCE]], hooking up computers to ethernet cables and reinstalling Windows XP on the base's Dell Optiplex machines. (Nothing that could land on WikiLeaks.) However, having "IT technician for the DOD" gave him some seizures of power, even if said computers were used like cybercafes: to allow soldiers to communicate with their families and look at porn. This is more evidence of the [[Furluminati]] in action.

Fortunately, he was never given the opportunity to ever deal with anything classified there, so America remained safe from this buffoon at least. Again, he was sent back in the country circa 2008 for [[fat|medical reasons]], [[lazy|being unproductive]] (since he had to "manage" FurAffinity), and perhaps because he was too dumb to stay in service anyways.

====A trailer park boy goes to the big city====
[[At least 100 years ago]], Dragoneer lived in [[Philadelphia]], and ended up being hated by all the furries there. To this day he hates Giza and [[Uncle Kage]] because of what happened there. [[Some argue|One side]] of the story is that he was a borderline-crazy dumbass who appeared to have genuine psychological problems and thus people began avoiding him. Of course, his paranoia about this didn't really help things either. Dragoneer, being still obsessed with events almost a decade old, recently revealed more when responding to the latest surfacing of the [[facts]] surrounding [[Jibba Foxcoon]] (namely, that [[2 gryphon]] is an [[asshole]], but I repeat myself):

{{tinyquote|Giza was angry at me because I called him out for cheating on Phil da Feline. Way back when, Giza and Phil da Feline were dating. Phil walked in on Giza sucking another guy's dick, they got into huge drama, fights ensued. A while later, they got back together... and at MFF, same shit happened together. One day Phil came over to my place, crying, claiming Giza tried to take advantage of him... and I went ballistic. I started openly called Giza out via my LiveJournal for cheating on Phil, lying and being a general douchebag. I wasn't very mature about it, but given what happened... I didn't really care. We had a huge drama war, and Giza eventually went to Kage to ask Kage to "fix" his problem. Namely, get rid of me So Kage did. Kage defended Giza (and blindly at that), refused to even hear my side of the story, and Kage kept saying if he wanted to cheat on Phil then that was Giza's right. And he defended that. I called shenanigans, but Kage had already made up his mind before he even spoke to me. Because I stood up to Kage, I got "promoted" from convention operations to "sales guy" for the artist's alley. So I left. Basically, they knew I'd do that... and I have no regrets about it. I wasn't thrown off AC (and I have several FA staffers who will back me up on this), but if they want to look at that way then I guess by demoting me they kinda did. In the end, Kage defended Giza's right to cheat on Phil, and I left Anthrocon and ended up going to Fur Affinity. Giza still takes pot-shots at me every once and a while. He does not seem to have the ability to let bygones be bygones. Some of my friends on Anthrocon's staff send me logs and shit when he goes berserk over it. I posted a journal two years later saying I wasn't going to Anthrocon, I was bailing on the con... and Kage took that as me outright attacking on AC. For... some reason. Thing was: I was at risk of losing my apartment due to financial problems at the time (animators didn't get paid a lot) and couldn't afford the con. I put life ahead of furry. The last thing Kage ever said to me was "Welcome to my shitlist, asshole." Why? Because in that same journal some people called Anthrocon "Kagecon" in my LiveJournal. And he detonated on me. This had nothing to do with Growly at all. Kage hasn't spoken to me since 2005. Even when we had stood in line next to each other for an hour to go to MFF in 2006, he wouldn't speak to me. Or even acknowledge I was there. It was cute.}}

====IMVU====
[[File:1275946582.dragoneer_idoubledown.jpg|thumb|Imagine being so fat, lazy and having so much [[unlimited disposable income]] that you use two 4th gen iPhones instead of slices of bread]]
Sean was employed by [[IMVU]] to run [[FurAffinity]] full time, a job he did [https://forums.vivisector.org/index.php?topic=708.0 extremely poorly] despite it being his dream job and what he's wanted since taking ownership of the site. Previously, he worked for [[Amazon]] and as a government contractor in the [[IT]] field. No one is sure what his specific job was, because he [[CIA|encourages bullshit rumors to obscure more accurate rumors]]. However, fortunately for us some people watch his [[Twitter]], where he's [[retarded|not particularly guarded]] about all the [[TF2|stuff]] he does at work on the [[you|taxpayer's]] dime. It would seem that his job consists of him [http://twitpic.com/28xvb7 re-arranging his desk], [http://twitpic.com/1hkj54 playing video games], [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/20130771963 chatting on YIM] and managing Blackberry service plans. Sometimes he has to do [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/12599983586 actual work] and he whines about it. Your tax dollars at work!

He was also responsible for managing Furaffinity's [[Jew Gold]] that comes in from donations and ad revenue, until [[IMVU]] took a look at him and realized they didn't want him touching their money. When he WAS in charge of finances, Furaffinity was always low on funds and every time a server slows down or breaks due to poor coding, [[moar]] money was needed to fix the problem. Where did all that money go? Remember the iPhone Sandwich earlier? [[Theft|yeahhhhhh...]]

If you post a journal and question where all the money went, you'd get a private message from Dragoneer (which are not private by the way, since [[FurAffinity]] staff are able check notes for 'security reasons'). He will politely ask you to remove the journal entry, or he will have no choice but to ban you. If you keep questioning where the money goes, you will get permanently banned. See [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1580816/ this journal] as an example on what not to do.

Judging by his [[Furaffinity|track record]] at running servers, there's probably a reason he's not doing more at work. Would [[you]] let him work on servers, especially with potentially classified information on them? Yeah, we wouldn't trust him to run a bath, let alone what he's doing these days.
{{clear}}

====Owner of Furaffinity====
[[Image:Sean Piche spends 150 dollars on a power cable.PNG|thumb|$150 on a power cable? FA's donations hard at work.]]
[[File:Neer-fnaf.png|thumb|How unexpected of someone to accept free ad-space on a very well known site for fetishists.]]
[[Banhammer|Premier]] Dragoneer of the Furfag [[Scumbag|Communist]] [[Admins|Party]] is the supremely [[lie|completely competent]] [[Blowjob|head]] [[Administrator]] of FurAffinity.net, [[Ego|a job he cherishes]]. Arcturus, the prior owner, assigned him to this position because he assumed Sean would be a useful idiot like everyone else. Dragoneer eventually gathered enough [[drugs]] or money or whatever he needed to buy Arcturus out, and sat upon the shit throne that was FA. He may be quick to tell you how difficult his "work" is, but don't be fooled - the only real difficulty he has is banning anyone who speaks out against him, dealing with (or starting) controversy, and trying to hide his obvious gunshyness for babyfurs! Since he's too [[lazy|indolent]] to do any real work himself, he assembled a [[fail|top-notch team]] of staff to do stuff for him... badly.

Actually, to give him credit he DOES do something that could be very loosely construed as work. Things like:
*Sealing the deal like [[The Donald]] with [[Five Nights at Freddy's]] dev Scott Cawthon, offering him free ad-space on his disgusting website.
*Spending $150 on a power cable, because spending an [[Over_9000|over 9000 percent]] markup on a cable is a sensible thing to do.
*Handling [[DMCA]] complaints like a child. He will ban you for sending one in before posting it on his [[Twitter]] and will publicly mock you because you asked him to do [[work]]. If this happens to [[you]], a [[Allan|proven alternative]] is to send the DMCA to their [http://inforelay.com/ Datacenter/ISP] [[spam|multiple times]], who will eventually [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/statuses/26508573833 tell him] to stop being infantile and remove the content.
 
If you're an [[furry art|artist]] and upload furry porn, you will have around 20 or 30,000 pageviews, if not more. In fact, you might even multiply it by 10, as [[FurAffinity]] only counts registered members' views only. This has always been the strategy of FurAffinity's staff, as admitted by [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lexyeevee/ Eevee], a site coder on [[Furnet]]'s #FurAffinity-Dev chatroom years ago. (Eevee was banned in mid-October for exploiting a huge security hole in FA's new "comment hiding" option - being able to "hide" comments even if you weren't the owner of the journal/submission. Eevee is definitely [[an hero]] for finding this out. Details of the exploits can be found [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329409.html here] and [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329817.html here]).

By this efficient philosophy, "devaluing" the site's audience on purpose justifies the donations, and, as always, all the [[gullible]] members believe this.

[[Image:Furry_Numbers.jpg|thumb|right| Commissions!]]
{{clear}}

===Sean Piche & The furry drama scene===
In spite of his preaching of 'making the furry scene look good', the most hypocritical and infuriating aspects of Dragoneer is that he actively engages in the furry drama scene, a mecca of [[unfunny|wit]] and [[circlejerk|one-upmanship.]] You can bet that if there's a post about Dragoneer, FurAffinity, or one of his other passions, he'll show up and probably make a fool of himself. It is then up to [[you]] (or the [[moderator]]s) to either mercy ban him or use his low-wattage intellect for [[lulz|amusement]]. For example; he's still obsessed with the Philadelphia furry community and the [[Anthrocon]] crew, but nearly every single one of them thought he was too ignorant, noisy, and annoying to be around, even for a furry degenerate. People that deal with [[Uncle Kage]] on a regular basis basically informed him that he talked too much and that he should never be on staff again, kthx. As a result they started avoiding him, something that even he was able to notice, as can be evidenced in [http://lists.claws-and-paws.com/pipermail/pa-furry/2003-November/005695.html this poor attempt] at subtle sarcasm on the PA furry mailing list. He moved out of that area in the early 2000s but still harbors a grudge against them to this day, as evidenced in the [http://forums.vivisector.org/index.php/topic,113.0.html ongoing feud] between [[Uncle Kage]]'s Macrophile Denial-fest and Sean's vanity con he purchased with that sweet, sweet gummint-contractor money.

It is all well and good if Sean or one of his many fanboys badmouth Kage or spread unverifiable innuendo, but if you do the same about FA and/or Dragoneer himself Sean will revert to making bad jokes and pretending to take it all with good humor (and not being very convincing) until he thinks he can vent with some privacy, at which point you have earned yourself an [[Internet tough guy|enemy]] for life.

In the spirit of starting drama, here's some things he doesn't want you to bring up:

====ZOMG HE HAS A BROTHER====
It seems Sean's brother, name currently unknown, was let out of its cage Christmas Eve, to celebrate with the rest of the Piches. Its level of intelligence, looks, and behavior comes to the light as the creature immediately began to chew on the couch and shit on the floor. Sean has never spoken of this failed abortion, most likely because even he is ashamed of this disgrace to humanity. What Dragoneer doesn't realize is that Encyclopedia Dramatica is an archive of failures on the internet, and when he finds out that his deformed blob of a brother has been found out and archived into the history of drama, rest assure he will deny his brother as much as the [[holocaust]].

<center><gallery>
File:WATSOVERTHERE.jpg|The animal hunts for its prey.
File:Itsafurfag.jpg|Even this thing wants to be a furry. It'll fit right in.
File:Brother Facebook.jpg|The Typical Facebook User.
File:LikeThis.jpg
File:FatherandSon.jpg|Even his father cringes at the touch of his offspring.
File:PerfectComparison.jpg|The resemblance is almost perfect.
File:OHSHIT.jpg|OSHI-
</gallery></center>

====Sciggles====
{{Spoiler|As predicted, Sciggles separated from 'Neer in early 2016!}}
[[File:Sciggles_neerhead.jpg|left|thumb|Sciggles poses next to a decapitated Dragoneer.]]
[[File:Sciggles_Is_A_Dominatrix.png|right|thumb|Look at Dragoneer. Not only being dominated, but also being a BITCH-ASS ANAL VORING FURFAG!! And why isn't she makin' him a sammich?]]
'''[http://www.furaffinity.net/user/Sciggles Sciggles]''' (a.k.a. '''[http://www.facebook.com/Sciggles Susan Scoggins]''') <s>is</s> was Dragoneer's [[Wife]], until she left him in early 2016 for a [[Brony]] who was actually [https://forums.vivisector.org/index.php?topic=878.0 better looking than him]>. She is several years younger than Dragoneer, and was young enough when they met that she couldn't legally consume his favorite [[alcohol|alcoholic drinks]], [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/statuses/14184260961312768 butthat didn't stop him from giving them to her anyways], backing up beliefs that he [[Pedo|likes 'em young]]. Sciggles <s>is</s> was Dragoneer's <s>biggest</s> only fan and even [[Obsession|made a Dragoneer hat and plushie]] and wore them to [[Anthrocon|Anthrocon 2010]]. Did we mention [[Slut|she was with another guy at the time]]?

It is rumored Sciggles is doing it [[for the lulz]], ultimately with the goal of marrying Dragoneer before filing for [[divorce]] and taking half of his precious belongings or waiting for the inevitable [[heart attack]] from consuming so many [[Jenkem|energy drinks]] and reaping the reward: the world's largest furporn collection. If she's not, well, we feel sorry for the kids that will one day inevitably stumble upon Dragoneer's anal vore porn collection (you think that's [[srsly|a joke]], don't you?) Besides, everyone knows that Dragoneer will never have [[jailbait|kids]] because that means he'd have to stop buying [[over 9000]] [[iPhone]]s a month and buying, well, anal vore porn sketches from high-priced artists.

During the Closing Ceremonies of FurAffinity United 2011, Dragoneer showed he was truly a [[Loser|classy gentleman]] and proposed to Sciggles in a room full of random furfags, in an scene worthy of a banned horror film.
<center><youtube>nWLU2HDBofg</youtube></center>

In early [[2016]], Sciggles began drawing a bunch of art for a guy called [[Edgy|Fireenvy]] who is the worst combination of both [[Brony]] and [[Furfag]]. Dragoneer, too stupid to realize he was being [[Cuck|cucked]], was perfectly okay with her drawing [[Porn|obvious romantic art]] with this guy and considered him a [[friend]]. He eventually figured it out, but [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7506046/ tried to cover it up], thinking nobody would notice she was practically hanging off another guy.

====Dox====
In December 2010 Dragoneer got ''another'' new cellphone and proceeded to use [[Twitter]] on it, neglecting to turn off the [[Stalker|Geolocation feature]] causing him to dox himself. [[Lulz.net]] got ahold of [http://twitter.com/#!/Dragoneer/status/12257132208455680 this] [http://twitter.com/#!/Dragoneer/status/12135853908299776 information] and caused Dragoneer to bawwww about it on [[Livejournal]], claiming that people hate him just because he's an admin.

He <s>lives [http://maps.google.com/maps?q=12004+Starboard+Dr+%23302,+Reston,+VA+20194&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=12004+Starboard+Dr,+Reston,+Fairfax,+Virginia+20194&gl=us&ei=67AATaH0L5CmnQe-sczlDQ&oi=geocode_result&ved=0CBYQ8gEwAA&t=h&z=16 here]</s> moved [https://goo.gl/maps/mF61gPTAHeN2 here] and works [http://www.usis.com here].

==Progression in Allegory==

[[File:Dragoneer_is_Homer_Simpson.png|center|500px]]
<center>He doesn't die, he just slows down until he reaches absolute zero and [[fat|encompasses all the matter in the universe]]</center>

[[Image:DragoneerIRL.jpg|thumb|[[piss|That isn't apple juice in the jug.]]]]

===You are Manipulated===
[[Image:Lolwutneer.png|center|Here's one of the multiple attempts from Dragoneer at sockpuppeting, but resulting into an epic failure.]]
If you upload anything containing a dragon, a penis, and/or any male Digimon (preferably Murasadramon, as that is Dragoneer's fursona) on FurAffinity, you will definitely be watched by Dragoneer himself. Great! You two are best friends now! You wouldn't grieve against a friend, would you? Dragoneer will [[lie|love your art]], even if your gallery hasn't received a single visit in weeks. If you're really good, there's a chance that he'll request you to draw something involving his character he will +fav, or even commission you, or better yet, make you an admin!

Samefaggotry is also a common technique used, even abused by Dragoneer on FurAffinity. Sometimes, he logs on as Sciggles to backup his arguments, and even often another unknown random account that nobody knows. However, he often tends to fail hard using this technique, which requires to log out and log in as your sockpuppet account. 

[http://inkjammer.deviantart.com/ His DeviantART] has also been used to reinforce his arguments in favor of himself, claiming that he is awesome and a legit administrator. Unfortunately, everyone saw him coming a mile away due to his response time. Thanks to DeviantART (and certain administrators who are aware of Dragoneer's actions there), you can easily hide or delete these comments.

===I am banned. What do I do?===
[[Image:AllanNeerOMG.jpg|thumbnail|right|Give Dragoneer a special favor and he'll unban you!]]
[[Image:Dragoneer_bans.jpg|thumb|left|In art form.]]
"One shalt drink the semen of the Dragoneer to be forgiven for their acts and get unbanned."

This is the secret! The Dragoneer may ask you to:
*Draw his request, or ask you to commission one of his favorite artists to draw his character fucking yours.
*Donate at least $50 ($100 or more if you're permabanned) to retrieve access to your gallery.
*Never question his strategy, actions, or anything his staff does, especially [[Pinkuh]].

In addition, you may be required to watch him in return and to write a journal, apologizing for being a troll (or an undisciplined puppy) and state that you will quit grieving and obey the rules forever.

If you are an artist or just a user who draws porn, you have to additionally leave the other sites you post at, post exclusively on FurAffinity, and keep a low profile. This literally means offering your ass to Dragoneer, because he owns the Internet's most popular furry website, if not the fandom.

It actually worked for Wildwulf, aka Brandon Vongthongthrip, a notorious zoophile previously banned to avoid FurAffinity's bad reputation. FurAffinity didn't want to be shown as a harvest for [[bestiality|zoophiles]]. However, he and FurAffinity remain one.

===Dragoneer versus Other Sites===
Dragoneer is a pretty cool guy, but when you know him more personally then it becomes interesting. Here's a sample of a conversation from the week following [[e621]].net's takedown by InsaneKangaroo, and some WYS goons - a group of pro-FA furry [[whiteknight|whiteknights]] [[blowjob|showing their support]] to Dragoneer.

This [[Anon]] knows Dragoneer for about two years, and confirms Dragoneer's opinions and ambitions toward rival, yet better websites, instead of improving his own.

{{cs2|DragoneerChatTranscript|Chat Transcript|
<pre><Dragoneer[AFK]> As an admin I'm obliged to condone IK's actions<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> but personally I understand his motivations and respect that.<br>
<Anon> i see. thought you had something against him..<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> He's a friend of mine<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> I, and many others respect his idea to fight illegal content<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> that's what communities are made for. Working together<br>
<Anon> Others like the WYS crew?<br>
<Anon> I'd join these guys<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> You welcome!<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> Arcturus never was a good admin and never did anything good. Ever.<br>
<Anon> So you prefer to see e621 under the control of a dildo factory?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> What's wrong with that? :)<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> more seriously nobody needs e621. This site always encouraged illegal activities, Every FA artist complains about it.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> No age check, incompetent staff.<br>
<Anon> heh yeah. when flaming your mods they could get a fucking mirror.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> :D<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> Arc asked for it, good riddance<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> we'll have to watch the "new version" anyway.<br>
<Anon> goverments changes, lies remains.<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> like ten low ranking artists posting their own shit on e621.<br>
<Anon> Allan reposted his whole gallery too :B<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> my bad.. 9<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> 99% of the submissions are posted without Artist's consent.<br>

<Anon> it just remains an alt. for when FA crashes.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> Nah<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> some can't just wait a few hours without having their dose of furry porn.<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> [[lolwut|No one wants an alternative to FA]]. No one needs it, requires personnel and a competent staff.<br>
<Anon> Pedobunny?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> ...to be closed soon<br>
<Anon> oh i see :3<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> also, FA's registration is back, guess this answers your question :)<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> I'm a WYS member, so what?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> I have the right to be on any community I want, say whatever I want outside FA.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> TBH I could have reported e621's illegal content myself and it would make no difference.<br>
<Anon> yep you're a citizen like evrybody<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPC-isxrhTs<br></pre>
|0}}

'''[[Tl;dr]]''', Fagoneer thinks FA should be the only furry site ever and that he is a total Nazi. What is new?

===Well obviously we have a rapist in Furaffinity===
Zaush "the furry rapist song"
"He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
We got yo chat logs and all them notes, you are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real.
You are really really really really so dumb. I was attacked by some creeper in the fandom.
So dumb, so dumb, so dumb so
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
He's a popular artist, draws lots of porn, likes sizeplay, and was a swinger.
And I seen the notes when he was rapin her, and that's not all that he did.
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
Well, obviously we have a rapist in the furry fandom. Are you serious? I have your chat logs, I have the notes, I know what you said, even though you hid, we all found out.
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy."
[[File:Zaushsohorny.jpg|thumb|right|Run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy~]]

A "popufur" furry named Zaush right in king fur's(dragoneer) convention raped a girl at a furcon.  But rather than turn in Zaush to the cops, cause the guy constantly had money being flung at him for commissions, he told the girl who got raped to try and like it.
Well the victims brother didn't give a shit about "protecting the image of furry", rather than let 'neer get away with helping a rapist, he bashed right through Fa's security, with not even so much of a challenge.  The brother then proceeded to wreak havoc on furaffinity.  Hacking all the mods and admins, trying to get as much information to put Zaush and Dragoneer behind bars.  He took screenshots of extremely damning stuff that the Admins had said and spread it all about.
{please post the screenshots by the hacker to get Dragoneer behind bars}

===DDoS attack and GoFundMe scam===
[[File:Dragoneer debt.png|left|300px|thumb|[[I accidentally X|"Whoops I accidentally all your money for personal debt"]]]]
[[file:Massive_furry_ddos_dragoneer_tweet.jpg|220px|thumb|Down, down it goes.]]
During October 2014, a massive [[DDOS]] attack struck the world of [[furry art]], taking [[FurAffinity]] and SoFurry completely off the internet for a few days, and temporarily knocking other anthro porn sites such as [[Inkbunny]] and Weasyl offline. Dragoneer was named prime suspect after it was revealed that a fundraiser which had been set up after the attack to protect against future attacks [http://pbs.twimg.com/media/B0Ls25UIQAMNtX-.png:large had in fact been created hours *before*] the actual attack. [http://www.reddit.com/r/furry/comments/2jk5mv/breaking_furaffinity_fundraiser_page_created/clcj66p He responds] by claiming it was coincidental [[Bullshit|shitty timing]] 3 times in a single post. 

GoFundMe pulled the plug on the fundraiser and suspended his account after evidence that it was a scam was brought to light (as if supporting cartoon animal pornography wasn't a good enough reason to start), but later [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/523611919978987521 reinstated his account] so he could still collect the money and user names of everyone he managed to scam.

This happened 2 months after he had set up another [http://www.gofundme.com/7paw6o GoFundMe drive] just so [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6048518/ he could buy himself] a new Cintiq tablet. More coincidental timing, right? The selfish goal of $2,500 was reached by 17 [[Furfags|people]] in 7 months, including $200 from his dumb fiance [[FurAffinity#Sciggles|Sciggles]].


===Programmer Is Denied Payment and IMVU Intervenes===
It recently got exposed that a programmer that's been working with Dragoneer's seed-stained wall of a site since October of 2015, and it further got released in a recent discussion video said programmer posted [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30eEXUnoKus&feature=youtu.be (which is viewable here)], that he found out he's essentially been working for free and Dragoneer and staff registered his work contract to [[IMVU]]. Thankfully, IMVU actually decided to be badass and swiftly [[Justice|kicked the living shit]] out of Dragoneer for refusing to pay his coder his past dues. Now, we're gonna cease even getting into how much of a worthless lump of cunt juice Sean [[Bitch|Bitche]] is. Since it's been obvious since the first sentence of this article that Dragoneer doesn't give a fuck about anything aside from consuming mass amounts of food to keep his [[Tubgirl|"Hershey Kiss"]] body shape that he's accustomed to. The heart of the matter here is despite a community fully comprised of closeted homosexuals that barely missed the hook of the wire hanger, it's pretty shitty to deny a programmer his payments when he's been helping to work on your website full-time for months on end without any compensation whatsoever. [[Shit nobody cares about|If this doesn't tell you this community is becoming corrupted by its own fatass cocksuckers, I don't know what does.]]

The point of this story is Dragoneer is conducting illegal behavior by denying his own "employees" payments. So suffice to say, Dragoneer deserves to have some form of legal litigation put against him. Especially since said programmer was determined to help initiate new code to replace the shitty fucking toddler level code that the site has been using that's on the level of an old HTML site from the late 90s. But it turns out these [[cuntpaste|cuntpastes]] don't take too kindly to positive change with their code. Codes that's by the way, that's so out of date it might as well be dressed with powdered wigs. We can only hope something develops further out of this situation, mostly because it'd be funny to see Dragoneer turn up the waterworks over any form of legal action against him so he can go into a food eating depression and kill himself from cholesterol poisoning.

We can only hope.

But alas, it turns out that the payment that IMVU forced out of Dragoneer has been fully processed, and there is no longer a call for legal action. I guess that means we can leave Dragoneer alone on this matter.

Sorry, that was a shitty joke. We're still more than obligated to shit all over his fat ham-glazed face.

==Gallery of Horrors==
Dragoneer can [[trace|draw]], too! Actually, all he can draw is gay Digimon porn, but occasionally he requests himself raping people he hates or have banned.
<br clear="all">
{{cg|Dragoneer|Dragoneer|center|<gallery>
File:Preyfar Hates Babyfurs.jpeg|thumb|Dragoneer sure hates babyfurs
image:49448 hexxy neer.jpg|thumb|I hate cub porn! I mean it guys!
Image:Ediskrad_preyfar2fh5.png|MOAR cub art!
Image:Shiuk_underwearplay.jpg|EVEN MOAR!
Image:Wolfblade_glaidendragoneer.jpg|Dragoneer is going to [[rape]] you.
Image:Dragoneer_Patachu_Cub_Commission.jpg|Dragoneer hates cub so much he has to commission 'em!
Image:1182999683.dragoneer_dgr_evoneer.jpg|What Dragoneer believes he is.
Image:1279070853.dragoneer_dgr-dick.jpg|Digimon shota! Digimon shota everywhere!
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:I Believe In Sean Piche.jpg|thumb|Quick, Chase! To the Fatcave!
Image:1275282975.dragoneer_neersuit.png|What a [[fag|rebel]]!
Image:1274390669.dragoneer_fau3_badges.jpg|Note: the background of this picture is a wallpaper by [[http://ker-.deviantart.com/art/Mario-World-HD-19771526 some vector artist]] used by Dragoneer without permission for [[advertising]] his furry convention, FA:United. [[Lawsuit]]?
image:Jarate.png | Use as a Team Fortress 2 spray. He plays on the Furry Pound servers.
Image:Neerallan.jpg|Dragoneer killing [[Allan]]. Inspired [[patachu|some artist]] to draw the exact opposite. He got permanently banned for this.
Image:1279445288.dragoneer_dgr-aquilus_sketch_.jpg|Cocks, cocks, and more cocks. Dragoneer's entire gallery is about the same thing: gay dinosaur porn.
Image:Dragoneer_01.jpg|Dragoneer designed his own [[dildo]]. He loves himself so much, he dreams about getting anally raped by his own fursona.
Image:1277577957.dragoneer_fend_n_neer.jpg|Your donations at work! Here are a couple of fursuits owned by Sean Piche. A Preyfar fursuit is in the making.
Image:Fagoneer.png|Dicks Everywhere!
Image:Preyfarpg2.jpg |Dragoneer's Preyfar character (the [[Gay|purple]] hyena) appears in an unfinished cub comic.
Image:Preyfarpg3real.jpg
Image:1276478521.shiuk page 4.jpg
Image:Dragoneercomic_page_5.jpg|[http://web.archive.org/web/20070111083224/http://www.nothingkat.com/downloads/FALog110606.txt <~Dragoneer> I hate the stuff (cub porn) immensely myself.]
Image:Dragoneercomic_page_6.jpg|The rest of the files for the comic were "corrupted". GEE I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS. (Sources say the rest appeared in Softpaw Magazine, if you're a sick fuck who owns this issue, please upload the rest for epic lolz and one million internets).
Image:sp4back.jpg|Here's the back cover of Softpaw 4, featuring Preyfar and Crome.
Image:Dragoneerassgas.jpg|[[Wut]]
Image:smelly dumb dragoneer scum.jpg
File:dragoneer_lunch.png|Dragoneer preparing a completely normal lunch at FA:U
Image:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|Geez, this guy needs a life.
Image:Dragoneerfourloko.jpeg|Getting drunk on Four Loko and liveblogging about it is one of Dragoneer's favorite hobbies.
File:Ferrox LLC.png|Pennsylvania Department of Revenue registration for Ferrox LLC.
File:Dragoneer debt.png|Oy Vey! The goyim know!
</gallery>}}

==Butt Devastated==
[[File:DragoneerJournal.png|thumb|Dragoneer's journal on the subject.]]
Perhaps as divine karma for letting [[Allan]] [[Allan#Back_on_FurAffinity|back on FurAffinity]], Dragoneer lost about 75% of his "valuable" [[Plastic crap|collectibles and memorabilia]].

All together now: [[And nothing of value was lost]].

==Trivia==
[[File:Zaushblacksquares.png|right|thumb|If anyone else did this, they'd meet the [[banhammer]].]]
*Dragoneer is a secret [[babyfur]]. <strike>This is why cub art is still allowed on FurAffinity, regardless</strike> of it being shit. He even told the [[UK]] users to [[GTFO]] when their lolicon ban came in.
*His best friend is a sex offending [[pedophile]] who got banned from FurAffinity, but still gets to see kids in real life.
*Every administrator he has ever hired has been a pedophile/zoophile/anal retentive [[Nazi]] bastard, most notably the notorious dogfucker known as Chase.
*His nephew date-raped a girl, went on a crime spree, then got busted trying to steal some of Dragoneer's shit at his mother's house.
*If Dragoneer posts something on his blog, everyone must agree with it. ALWAYS.
*FA isn't his website. He stole it in 2006 when he was just a lead moderator. He claimed that he invested over $2,000 in donations to become "legit". Having all the moderators on your site sure helps!
*It is a known fact that Dragoneer relaxes the rules to his [[sick fuck|favorite]] artists. For example, in April 2010 [[Adam Wan]] [[Delete fucking everything|DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING]] from his gallery and replaced each submission with a black square. Even though that's [http://wiki.furaffinity.net/index.php?title=AUP in direct violation of multiple portions of the AUP], Dragoneer said nothing and refused to do anything about it.
*[[Glenn Beck|Dragoneer raped and murdered a young girl in 1990]].
*[[WTF|Former president of the United States Barack Obama follows Dragoneer on Twitter, for some reason.]]

{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest4|background-color: white; width: 500px; height: 300px;|font-weight: bold;


|“Because they're mass [[hacking]] accounts, using [[phishing]] techniques and other shitty script-level methods to [[steal|hijack]] people's shit (mostly due to people's own stupidity) and he's doing it in your name.”| –Dragoneer, [[rage|raging]] over [[raeped]] users

|"I don't want to rotate banners, as that's very bandwidth heavy and would be a little counter-productive. I'm not AGAINST it, but I don't want to."| -[[Doing it wrong|Administrating a website doesn't require work.]]

|“You had severe resentment towards us over it, but you've always been civil to me... so I dunno”| - A very confused Neer

|"I generally [[Lie|never]] go to ED. <nowiki>"Facts"</nowiki> are sometimes optional there."| -Dragoneer

|"Dragoneer is a thief. What right does he have to harass [[Allan]] for swindling donation money when he's doing the same thing and far worse? The site's layout is using something that would be fine 10 years ago but many sites have better, the servers are junk, the staff are all pedos. He hires friends and incompetents to mod the site while openly allowing popular people and friends to break rules and do what the fuck they want.

Fursuits, iPhones used as bread, commissions, name it, he's not spending money on the site. If he were, the site would be better."| -Anonymous

|"When I met Dragoneer at AC, it was really disturbing, for, he had no other subjects than his characters and who drew them. I really had a weird feeling, like having a 12yo in front of me into his Digimon games... Sean (Dragoneer) is devoid of maturity. Just like a kid in middle school who bullies others around, he tries to be a smartass toward those who are around him, including; and especially artists. ''look; here's V**** this guy sucks, he thinks he's better than N**** but he's just a ripoff.'' Meeting Sean like this really made me feel bad for frequenting such retards."| -An anonymous artist

|"Furaffinity is free, unlike Deviantart who charges you to access certain content, options and discussion boards, that's the reason why I decided to create Furaffinity. Freedom and respect versus profit altough we are not a paysite, hosting Furaffinity requires a budget so we let the freedom to the users to donate, and these users are granted of my respect and my interest."| -Dragoneer, being hypocrite

|"No, Deviantart is the wrong site to go if you want to get a name in this community, that's the reason why I created [Furaffinity] Y'know, the photoshop artists like Axer, Vaporotem or Barachan may be blindfolded by the pageviews they make here, but they only support an egoistical administration that doesn't give a fuck or know shit about the furry culture, and the few members like Skifi, who actually play a role of mediator here; are even more retarded for not seeing the truth."| -Dragoneer, publicly admitting he hate Deviantart on IRC

|"Why do you want an alternative to Furaffinity? We're here for good."| -Dragoneer
}}|border=blue|background=white}}

==Contact==
*[http://www.furaffinity.net Furaffinity, Dragoneer's Pride]
*{{Furaffinity|Dragoneer|Dragoneer's Furaffinity Page}}
*{{Deviantart|Inkjammer|Dragoneer's DeviantART page}}
*[http://www.facebook.com/sppiche Dragoneer's Facebook]
*[http://www.twitter.com/Dragoneer Dragoneer's Twitter page]
*[http://www.faunited.org/ FA United page]

==See Also==
*[[Fur Affinity]]
*[[Ruining The Internet]]

==External links==
*[http://faleaks.malicelabs.com/from/Ferality/ Dragoneer telling a rape victim from his site to STFU because he doesn't want to lose all the traffic. Greed much?]
*http://e621.net/post/show/51542/
*http://fagoneer.tk
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/dragoneer-preyfar-firepyro-sean-piche-spottybitch-princess-piche.34077/ Forum about Dragoneer]

{{Furfaggotry}}
{{lezz}}
{{dyingalone}}

[[Category:Furries]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:People]]