View source for TJ Lane

{{spoiler|HE WAS CAUGHT CAMPING FOR NOOBS AND WILL RESPAWN AFTER THREE LIFE SENTENCES}}

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<center>[[file:TJLanetldr.jpg]]</center>
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[[File:TJ Lane smirk.jpg|thumb|U mad bro?]]
[[file:TJ Lane Middle Finger.jpg|thumb|Edgiest court appearance evar]]

A fine example of citizenry from [[Ohio]], TJ Lane posted the above status update via Facebook two months and several states away before the actual shootings occurred, but news companies are treating it like he posted it the fucking hour before. TJ (which is short for Thizzlehat Junction) was apparently the subject of some extreme [[trolling]] and [[bullying]], which prompted him to bring a gun to school and [[Call_of_Duty|shoot some people for fun]]. 

His [[High Score|killcount]] stands at [[fail|3]], getting only hitmarkers on 2 others. Dumbfuck should have used [[rape|Stopping Power]]. News agencies flipped their collective shit and Facebook Newsfeeds were shitspammed with ZOMGZ! and redirects to Huffington Post. However, as with any school shooting or killing spree of this sort, all the names of the victims were quickly forgotten, but TJ's name and middle finger continued to hold a place in everyone's memories.

[[Last Thursday]], he was sentenced to 3 life sentences of endless mansex with Bubba in a poorly maintained, filthy Ohio prison.

<center><youtube>8WvzSThFw6k</youtube></center>

==Graded Score==
{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
|-
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
|'''3'''/20 
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
|8/20<br /> 
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
|18/20
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
|20/20 
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
|20/20<br />''T-Shirt & Escaped Prison on [[9/11]]''
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 69/100 ('''D''')</big>
|}

<center>'''First sk00l sh0tt3r to get a second chance, yet you still fucked that up.'''</center>
<center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center>

{{Wanted|1}}

== Wat happin??/? ==
[[file:Michigan lol.jpeg|thumb|200x|Wearing the sweatshirt of Ohio's [[Michigan|arch rival]] for ultimate lulz]]
The following is a rundown of Monday, February 27, 2012:

*<i>3:45a.m. TJ is reading [[The Catcher in the Rye]]. </i>

*<i>4:56a.m. TJ wipes the cum from his book with his hand and closes the book.</i>

*<i>4:56a.m. TJ finishes licking the semen from his fingers, and proceeds to pull up his skidmarked Superman Underoos.</i>

*<i>5:30a.m. After raping his cat, TJ sits down at his kitchen table with some cereal and visits [[shit|4chan]] on his [[iPod]].</i>

*<i>5:56a.m. After [[fapping]] into his milk and drinking it, TJ saves [[loli]] to his iPod's memory.</i>

*<i>6:30a.m. TJ takes a nap in his hugbox, setting it to Extra [[special|Love]].</i>

*<i>7:10a.m. TJ takes a dump on his sister's panties, then uses the shit as warpaint, also smearing dookie over his balls and buttcheeks, causing him to moan loudly. 

*7:15a.m. He grabs his cool new Nerf gun he got for Christmas and tosses it in his backpack so he can show his friends at school.</i>

*<i>7:28a.m. TJ walks into the cafeteria of Chardon High School and up to his five best buddies, pulls out his Nerf gun and fires live rounds at their heads, killing one and wounding four others.</i> 

Prior to the actual firing, the kid that was killed in the direct shooting was quoted:
{{quote|TJ, Cut it out! That stings! *BLAM*| Goodnight Sweet Prince}}

Our friend TJ fled the scene, retreating north of town before [[pussy|turning himself in]] to some random people that were waiting for the bus.

==The Trial==

Seeing a great opportunity for lulz, Lane scribbled the word "KILLER" on a white shirt. The boy proceeded to hide the shirt until he took his place among the trial, spawning enough [[BAWWW|BAWWWWing]] and [[butthurt]] to power New York City for a month. Sadly all of this raw power went to fuel the countless supplies of farming equipment and to the numerous hunting rifles aimed at deer scattered around [[ohio|the state]]. 

{{quote|This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. Fuck all of you.| Greatest closing statement ever}}

[[File:TJ Lane killer shirt.jpg|thumb|This is what the <s>dumb fuck</s> [[troll|noob]] wore to court.]]
[[File:Tjlanetoystory.jpg|thumb|Sid?]]
[[File:TJLANEGIFSHIT1.gif|thumb|Losing the grin when you realize what fate lies within.. (prison)]]

Realizing just how much butthurt he generated, Lane couldn't put up a defense in court because he was too busy laughing his ass off, as he was called a "disgusting human being". Worth noting, however, is that these are the same breed of moralfag that say anyone who shows them a picture of goatse is a "disgusting human being". To [[raeg]] the crowd even more, Lane gave an inspiring speech to us all that ended in "Fuck all of you" and flipped the bawwwing moralfags the bird. Rage, butthurt, and batshit insanity followed, as Lane trolled the entire courtroom with this swift move. 

Unfortunately, his Jew of a lawyer couldn't save the case following this, because Lane did not consider making the jury butthurt in his master plan. The Judge sentenced him to three lifetimes in jail (only in Ohio can someone stay in jail twice as long as they lived after they die), with charges of maximum trolling. 

Though his [[high score]] [[fail|pales]] in [[columbine|comparison]] [[Sandy_Hook_Elementary_Massacre|to]] [[Aurora_Theatre_Shooting|others]], our [[loser|hero]] managed to stir up enough butthurt and drama for him to be remembered as a legend until two weeks from now, when Ohioans are too drunk/stupid to remember who the fuck he was (unfortunately for him, [[OpRollRedRoll|another crime]] in the state was getting more media attention, causing his epic deed to go into relative obscurity).

== Prison Life ==

[http://www.cleveland.com/court-justice/index.ssf/2014/09/from_pot_to_pokemon_prison_rec.html According to sauces], TJ spent the first 18 months in the big house playing the [[Pokemon]] card game with himself, pissing on prison walls like an animal, and playing the role of class rebel in his education courses. He claimed that he couldn't read because it hurt his neck (despite the fact that he was hoarding books in his cell), and that learning gave him a migraine, and he found that drawing pictures of [[kittens]] on his schoolwork made for a better learning experience. No, srsly.

He was also busted for giving himself 3 tattoos on his bird chest (unknown what the tattoos were of, but believed to be a combination of Pokemon, kitty cats, and the word "killer") and smoking grips of marijuana with the other kool kidz. This resulted in loss of recreation privileges, as if he had any interest in working out or playing basketball anyway. 

So basically TJ is continuing to be the backwoods edgelord who shot and killed a couple kids, jerked off to the memories of said killings, and rebels against the system and its institutional learning facilities. The best part of the prison records report was a quote from a teacher who said "he also does not wear deodorant to the point no one wants to sit next to him." Now *that's* [[edgy]]!

== Can't Chain the Lane ==
[[file:tj lane escape mugshot.jpg|thumb|230px|As his face reveals, he's been suffering from a lot of painful buttseks in the pokey.]] 

Then on [[9/11]] of [[2014]], in another example of razor-sharp hillbilly edge, TJ and the man presumed to have been reaming his ass in their cell escaped together while the guards were busy participating in [[JEWS DID WTC|remembrance]] rituals. TJ became the first person ever to get a second chance at achieving the high score in life and will likely return to the [[Chardon High School|same school]] to redeem his low killcount. The <s>man</s>boyhunt is on.

<s>TJ IF YOU'RE READING THIS HMU YOU CAN STAY AY MY PLACE.</s> Lol disregard that, the dumb fuck already got caught [[LOL|6 hours]] after escaping in front of a [[hillbilly|farm house]] in the woods, armed with a fucking '''pitchfork'''. 

[[file:tj lane pitchfork.jpg|thumb|360px|center|You'll never take me alive! lol jk I miss buttsex already]]

Lane was promptly shipped to the super-max slammer in [[Youngstown]] where he now enjoys 23-hour lockdown in a cell the size of a parking space. At least now he has his own jack shack in which he can masturbate to the memory of those teenagers he shot dead in peace for the rest of his life.

Second chance score: '''0 kills'''. Could have maimed a cop with your hay poker, or at least tried to [[an hero]] with it, but no, you chose to live out the rest of your life enduring painful buttsex on a regular basis instead. YOU SUCK, FAGGOT. HANG YOURSELF, IT'S THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THE BITCH LIFE.

== Evolution of Lane ==
[[File:EVOLUTIONOFTJLANE.jpg|710px|center]]
[[Last Thursday]] in [[2015]], a new pic of TJ was leaked to the public; he now looks like a long lost member of The BeeGees.

== OMG! There's a Fanclub?! ==

Yes. Lots of edgy teenage girls seem to obsess over this punk, similar to the way [[Columbine]]rs get wet by the 2 fags, [[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]]. Many girls complimented his look, only further proving that women are fucking retarded as TJ is one ugly son of a bitch. Even though the TJ Lane story is old news at this point, there continues to be hundreds, if not thousands, of creepy fangirls. So yeah... Have fun feeling comfortable after learning about this, dude. News article [http://archive.is/AZWPt here].

== Gallery ==
{{cg|'''My love for you is like a bullet'''|tjgallery|center|<gallery><perrow=4>
image:TJTeddy.jpg|Be his!
image:TJEmo.jpg|My life is so hard :`(
image:TJsexyvneck.jpg|Bitches love faux leather!
image:TJLANETOYSTORY.gif|Sid confirmed.
</gallery>|<gallery>
image:TJTuffmofo2.jpg|He had to do extra chores after asking his mom to take these. "But <i>MOOOM..."</i>
image:TJderpolice.jpg|Supar dupar Ohio crack spechalists arrive on the scene, includes 4 [[Counter Strike|Counter Terrorists]] a [[nigger]] and a derpy idiot.
image:TJschoolsout.jpg|Kids celebrate getting out of school for 2 days.
image:TJschoolsout2.jpg|Lesbians coddle as one sneezes into her hand, the girl on far left doesn't give a fuck.
image:TJTuffmofo1.jpg|[[truth|He will fuck your shit up]]
image:EMOTJLANE.png|TJ as an emo kid. Roflmao.
File:TJ Lane Dick.jpg|TJ is not gay
image:TJLANEPIMPLEFACE.jpg|Pimple-faced Pumk.
image:TJLANEACNEWTF.jpg|It's still there!
image:TJLANEBEEGEES.jpg|TJ has become level 20! Wizard class unlocked.
image:TJLANEMUGSHOT.jpg|Not so tough when you're getting fucked up the ass by gorillas, bitch.
image:TJLANEGIFSHIT2.gif|Flippin' the bird.
image:TJschoolsout.jpg|SCHOOL'S OUT! 
File:TJLANEnew.jpg
</gallery>}}

== Youtube ==
{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|VIDEOS|background-color: grey;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>vzHNSyEgTHo</youtube> <br> <center>'''Earliest News Video''' </center>
|<youtube>zGede2uSOkU</youtube> <br> <center>'''TJ in the Courtroom'''</center>
|<youtube>yrj1GmHlPwo</youtube> <br> <center>'''Ape Escape'''</center>
|<youtube>QjkykOGVUv4</youtube> <br> <center>'''Recaptured'''</center>
}}|border=blue|background=blue; margin: .5em auto;}}
}}


== Related Articles ==
[[File:hello.jpg|thumb|right|TJ's anus after 3 years in prison.]]
* [[School]] [[School Shooting|Shooting]]
* [[Gun]]
* [[Bullying]]

== External Links ==

*[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/27/chardon-high-school-shooting_n_1303689.html Summary of the shooting]
*[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17182562 Now Europe knows, and thus is not surprised but very amused]
*[http://www.people.com/article/high-shool-shooter-tj-lane-escapes-prison Oh noes, he escaped.. for a few hours]


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{{High Scores}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Columbine}}
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[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:2012]]
{{timeline|Featured article December 8th & 9th, [[2013]]|[[Ryan Lambourn]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Onideus Mad Hatter]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 13th & 14th, [[2014]]|[[JEWS DID WTC]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[OpFerguson]]}}