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Hyperblade53
Nothing says forever alone like being a four hundred pound,18+ year old sonic-fag who wastes hours of their life by recoloring sonic sprites, and HyperBlade53 is no exception. Having been a member of the DeviantART community for over two years HyperBlade53 boasts an impressive gallery of artwork After the incident with Angelic-catalyst, he quickly rushed to her aid in the hopes of getting some kinky furry cybersex but proceeded to fail in a most humiliating manner. He's currently hosting a couple of images for Angelic-catalyst in hopes she'll dump her spineless faggot e-boyfriend and cyber with him instead.
—HyperBlade53 defending his precious sprites | ||
White Knighting
When Angelic-catalyst released BAAAW journals concerning the trolls gouging holes in her and her mother's straw-grasping arguments and having her massive pile of bull called, HyperBlade53 quickly came to try and defend his fellow asspies but only succeeded in making himself appear even more retarded. His foolproof tactic of defense is avoiding the issue and acting like a faggot who doesn't understand what simple words mean. If that doesn't work, he tries to throw other talented artists under the bus and act as though this blatant theft is justified because everybody else is doing it. More frequently, he'll just make a sad attempt at trolling and just blow off the issue and ask to cyber.
USI and Artistic Talent
Grab your eye bleach and call for an ambulance, for a browse through his gallery is guaranteed to cause blunt-force trauma to the forehead. The first thing you'll notice will probably be the several, sheets of of MS Paint bucket-filled Sonic sprites. In the comments to one sheet, he admits that he forgot to color over Shadow's shoes. He'll usually grip his chode and crush everybody's dreams by informing them that, no, they can't have his painstakinglycrafted sprites. Apparently he thinks that not everybody has the skill to recolor sprites. Whenever he's able to get his grubby hands on a wide-angle lens camera, he squeezes his face into a pair of silver 90's sunglasses and proceed to suck his own e-peen. Why sunglasses? Because sunglasses are cruise control to cool. In one image, he's flipping off the camera like the creative hardass he is. He's soooo tough that he censors his cussing and uses the troll face in his comments. Watch out guys, he's a firecracker! Something else you may notice is that most of his shit is available as a print. Who doesn't want a blurry, jpeg sprite sheet hanging in their foyer? Or a low quality shot of some obese man-child's sweaty mug above their hearth, amarite? His mind is so clogged by McDonalds that he thinks he's anything more than ugly. You can find him making remarks on his sexy self. It seems he thinks stroking his e-peen will change the fact that he's actually just an obese, greasy, art retarded rape-child with an early-stage jew-fro who whacks off to Cream the Rabbit's underage cunt.
A faggot IRL
For a little the assfag had a plethora of embarrassing youtube vidoes uploaded but upon discovering they were being used against him, he BAAWLEETed them which only proves how embarrassed he truly was and how he cares way too much about what strangers on the internet think of him. Rightfully so as those videos were pretty fuck bad. When he wasn't having his autistic friends record him and his fellow retards pretending to fight during class,(and by 'fighting' we mean scooting around in a circle make piss-poor slow-ass karate chops) much to the annoyance of the ghetto trash around him, he was recording himself playing with his inbred siblings where the world briefly got a look at his lazy-eye. During a join.me session, he was also seen unpacking a TV the week before black-Friday while stuffing his face and providing viewers a good glimpse as the pig-sty he calls a home. While most of his vids have been baawleeted, you can still go force your enemies to witness the autism captured in the rest of his game-play videos.
It wasn't me
Around the 18th of November, HyperBlade53 attempted the old-as-trolling-itself excuse of "It wasn't me! Somebody else did it all!". He posted a journal stating that he had his cousin babysit his DeviantArt account while he was finishing school and visiting colleges. Apparently where he's at, there's no internet so he was unable to sign on for the past three years and see what his cousin was up to. He denies having done anything he's been accused of despite many of the accusations pertaining to shit he had done as far back as three years ago. On top of that, he has made no attempts to remove the deviations of him attempting to be a troll, while he claims those were the work of his alleged cousin. Nor has he tried to remove the deviations his cousin uploaded for Angelic-catalyst.
His whole claim basically grinds down to, "I needed somebody to babysit my account while I went to school (Where? In a Nazi Death Camp with no Internet and no way to go home and get on the net?) so I got my identical looking and acting cousin to watch my account for me."
Apparently it's just a coincidence that his identical looking cousin also has USI, recolors sonic pictures, wants so badly to be a troll and is bff with Angelic-catalyst. As well as conveniently never posting a journal about his upcoming absence, even though he had posted journals about things as trivial as a one line journal thanking watchers for asspats, a one liner about how awesome he is[1],and a two liner about how he's bored [2].
A Predictable Turn of Events
Shortly after angelic-catalyst was dumped by her ex bitch-boy, she spent about a week brooding and writing self-pitying bullshit in journals and status updates before this faggot jumped aboard the S.S.Fatturd. Having spent about a year lusting over Mary's fat-rolls, he finally got his chance and is now having his lust for dog-vag fulfilled. Mary makes no effort to hide the fact that they cyber regularly using wish-fulfillment sonas that are in no way possible more interesting than reading the directions on assembling some piece of IKEA shit. Just like every one of her last boyfriends, he ignores her blatant retardation and tendency to start drama in exchange for some anatomically impossible yiff and fourth-grade level roleplay sex.
The New Face of DickFace
After having had the same try-hard 'rare vampire hedgewolf' FC for as long as his retarded ass has been able to internet, he gains a new sona shortly after beginning a 'relationship' with the fatturd, angelic-catalyst. Despite the fact that Mary has given new sonas that are the furfag version of whatever character she's lusting over to every one of her boyfriends, matching name and all, Armando, Mary and Mary's brother 
FallenRealm deny that Mary forced the new sona, "Nero", on her bitchboy. Purely coincidence that the sona is the dog version of DevilMayCry's Nero who looks absolutely nothing like Armandos original sona and whose name even matches the games characters. Purely coincidence.
But like the little forever-alone bitch that he is, he accepts the duty of being the new puppeteer of the character she actually wants to fuck so that he can get some action he'd never otherwise get. Ohwait, that's a lie. Everybody knows Mary's e-fucks her guy friends even while with whatever loser is desperate enough to tolerate her bullshit.
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Shadow the Hedgehog to Nero to SynysterGates. Proof that Mary has no real interest in fucking Armando but he's to stupid to realize he's being made to look like a faggot by his loving angel. -
Blades original sona versus the faggy Fur-Nero sona Mary wishes he was. -
Even before angelic-catalyst broke up with her now ex-bf, she was cybering with Dickface. -
Better watch out, Armando. Mary's already got your replacement in mind. Seen any giftart she's made for him lately? Does she chat with him in Skype? You're fucked, dude. He's already been moved to the number two slot under My Close Friends right behind Zach.
The Former True Loves of Armando
Like most sonic fags, he's eager to be in true love to prove to the world that he's not ugly or that he's not going to be foreveralone. Even though it's inevitable. It's not uncommon nor is it news when a sonic fag finds their 'true love' then they break up and Armando is no exception. Turns out, long before his current 'True love', he had hooked up and paired his sona, Leon/Blade with an Amy recolor by the name of Reanna. They married and had an x-amount of children then they broke up and he found Andrea who his character married and had two children with. Surprisingly, he's yet to 'Marry' Mary's character and that's probably because they're all ripped off and she keeps getting a new sona every month.
-
Both of Blades ex wives and the two of the x-amount of children he had which was with Andrea. -
Evdidently, Blade drinks, and he drinks to the point where he becomes a sexual predator. -
JUST KIDDING LOL.
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"Andrea and BladeForever" Sure, if Forever is about three years. -
The first record of Andrea and Armandos relationship posted on December 3rd, 2009. -
Blades first wife, Am-I mean..Reanna.
Eternal Roneryness
After getting sick of putting up with Mary's bullshit, he fakes getting amnesia and proceeds to pretends he's never met her and several others. He conveniently only remembers up until a certain point, that point being before he made the horrible mistake of hooking up with Mary. Nobody really believes him, not even Mary, especially when he suddenly gets a new girlfriend, MidnightRose1918. Despite Mary being a total stranger to him, they continue to chat and cyber via Skype since they're both shameless virgins and Midnight doesn't consider cybering to be a big deal.
Mary posted on facebook and speaks of Armando as though he's some thirsty faggot but we all know what's going down. Butthurt after having been dumped and having no boyfriend to shove in everybodies face, Mary caps her cybering with Armando and sends it to Midnights guy friend who then shows it to Midnight. A breakup follows but only briefly. Even more brief than the breakup was the second hookup which ended when Midnight got all whiny and emo-faggy. He quickly moved onto Besties4Life who is one of DA's and the Sonic Fandoms resident ho's. If you thought for a second that Mary and Armando stopped cybering, then you need to re-read this and Mary's article. That relationship ended when he became abusive, or so says third-party sources, but Bestie recovered quickly and moved on yet again, this time on a new account, xEternalVengeancex and claims she's single because she's not looking.
--An Ego a Size Matched Only by His Ass--
Not long after Mary lost yet another 'soulmate' she announced that she was dating x-ChaosAnimations-x who she had been friends with for a while; evident by a join.me session during her reltionship with Armando where Tyriece (Chaos) signed into Skype, the tab alerting her having popped up. When she first hooked up with Armando, she admitted that she had feelings for him back when she first met him during her relationship with her ex, Zach, so it's safe to say she was e-porking Ty throughout her relationship with Armando and perhaps even Zach as well.
What makes this all the more hilarious is that Tyriece and Armando are close friends, or 'niggas', as they had put it. Tyrice is also only 16, Mary bieng 20. Imagine the asshurt of kicking one of your exes to the curb and she then goes right to your bro. Not being able to say much about it himself, he recruits one of his butt-buddies, glacial-cavalierEX, to do the trolling. Being friends with Armando but not Chaos, Glacial was more than happy to avenge his fellow retards butthurt even though it was Armando who faked amnesia to get out of dating Mary. Seems that although Armando doesn't wish to date Mary, he still wants her in his little harem of autistic virgins and have exclusive access to dat e-trench of a pussy.
Mary has seemingly left Armando in the dust save for the cybering on Skype anyway, but Armando simply will not have that. If he can't have her, nobody can!
The events of this are still unfolding, but great lulz is promised.
Links
- His Weasyl account.
- Blight53 Perhaps his very first DeviantArt.
- HyperBlade53 His first Deviantart account which he BAAWLEETED after the fail-troll was busted for lying about being stabbed.
- DarkWolf537 His second account which was BAAWLEETED after his girlfriend MidnightRose1918 found out he was cheating on her with angelic-catalyst
- EcstaticCheetah His oldest account long since BAAWLEETED. (debatable)
- xxshinoxwolfxx CURRENT DA
HyperLeon53, aka MrClean185, His FailTube brimming with Sonic gameplay, shitty sprite animations and lulzy videos of his inbred family. Seriously, wtf is wrong with his sisters face?
darkwolf53 BAAWLETED- DarkAngel53 Suspended shortly after because his retard friend Rave-Knight listed it next to Armandos suspended account.
Fagbook page
See Also
- Mimikayuko
- Angelic-catalyst His fuck ugly fatass for a girlfriend's ED.
- Azure-Neon
- Branca
- obese
- deviantart
- sonic
- butthurt
- internet tough guy
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Hyperblade53 is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |